Top

--Lisa Bobby, MA, LMFT

Free Help, Now.

Sign up and I'll immediately send you free information that will help you feel better and make positive changes starting today. Plus, I'll update you when I have new seminars, articles and podcasts.

Enter Email Address
Free Consultation

If you are interested in pursuing therapy or coaching, please contact me to schedule your free consultation session.

Call: (720) 443-1110

Email:lisa@growingself.com

or Click Here.

Couples Counseling
Individual Therapy
More Information
Self Help Programs
Follow Lisa
Recent Tweets

The Marriage Counseling Experience

What To Expect

During your first consultation meeting, I will go over the legal rules and regulations of our counseling relationship. You will learn about your confidentiality, the limits of confidentiality, the boundaries of the therapeutic relationship, and your rights as a client. I will provide you with information about my training and experience and give you the opportunity to ask me questions. I will go over my scheduling and financial policies with you. When your preliminary paperwork is complete I will open the conversation to your present concerns and discuss your hopes for therapy. I will likely ask you questions so as to ensure I have a good understanding of your situation. By the end of your consultation meeting (between 30 and 50 minutes) I will either be able to accept you as a client and describe for you what therapy will look like given the particulars of your situation, or I will provide you with direction about where else you might find help.

If you move forward in therapy with me you will most likely be meeting with me weekly for either 60 or 90 minute sessions. Your sessions will start with a brief “check in” period, followed by a collaborative discussion about what to focus on in the day’s meeting. Towards the end of the session I may have recommendations about assignments or things to try in between sessions in order to further your work, depending on the phase of therapy that you are in. At the end of the session I will check in with you about the most meaningfulor helpful (of unhelpful) parts of that day’s conversation so that I can make sure that your sessions together are as valuable to you as possible. I provide written follow up notes to our session so that you have a reminder of the things we talked about and what we're working on in between sessions. When you find yourself talking extensively about the positive progress and successful changes that you have made in your life, your time with me will likely come to an end, although you can always contact me for follow up meetings in the future.

How It Works

Marriage counseling works on a number of different levels to help you and your partner create a happier relationship, and it happens in phases. I like to use the metaphor of gardening to help people understand the process.

On the first level, marriage counseling works because you and your partner have made the choice together to seek help in making things better. The fact that you both say "we need to do some things differently" puts both of you in a receptive and more willing state of mind to make changes. Making the decision to enter this process is like preparing the soil for the seeds of change to be planted.

As an unbiased third party, I can get to know both of you and then help you two to understand each other. As I understand each of your feelings I can then interpret what you are really saying and feeling to your partner in a way that he or she can understand. I will help you transcend the repetitive fights that may be happening now, and you will begin to have new perspective. As understanding increases, the "same old fights" will start to feel more productive. I help you understand the systemic patterns occurring between the two of you. You begin to understand how you are each affecting the other, and perhaps contributing to the other's position in the relationship, and then you will be more able to make different choices. During the time of new understanding the seeds of change are planted.

I will work with you to come up with ideas of how to do things differently at home, based on the conversations we are having in therapy. I will help you to see what behaviors you both might be engaging in during interactions with each other that are not helpful. You will start to experiment with new ways of doing things. During this time the seeds of true change begin to grow.

Communication skills are another important area of counseling. Learning how to talk so that your partner can listen to you is an essential relationship skill, as is deep listening and personal reflection. Learning how to intentionally listen to your partner is not always an easy thing to do. Being in a supportive environment with me where you and your partner are able take in what each is saying will help your connection with each other to grow. It will also support the growth of the new skills you are practicing.

The beautiful harvest season of all of this growth is increased maturity in each of you, new empathy for each other, and new enjoyment of each other. When you understand how you're each affecting the other and are able to communicate the love and attachment that is underneath it all, you can transcend any conflict. You will feel like your partner "gets you." You will have more fun together. You will have happy new experiences with each other that will reinforce all the growth you have accomplished.

If you like my approach, get in touch with me. It's easy and it's free to speak with me in person and find out what it would be like to work with me. Simply give me a call at 720-443-1110, contact me through my website or email me at hello@growingself.com to set up your free first session.