720.370.1800 – Intl 844.331.1993
Let’s Talk About YOU

Let’s Talk About YOU

Let’s Talk About YOU

Your Questions, Answered.

The latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast was absolutely devoted to YOUR questions. Your relationship questions, dating questions, dating questions, communication questions, therapy questions were all answered. If you’ve left a question in the comments section on the blog lately, or through Facebook or Instagram (or via one of our quizzes) you’ll want to turn in and hear the answers!

Specifically, we discussed: 

  • What if you’re having an argument with your partner and need to take a break to calm down, and they keep pursuing you?
  • How to handle it when you’re married and have a crush on someone else? What if you have a crush on an EMPLOYEE? 
  • Are you dating and hearing, “I like you but just as friends” a lot? We’re talking about what that might mean! 
  • What are some tips to handle a hard breakup or divorce when you coparent with your Ex and have to see your Ex?
  • What should you do if your family members are fighting with each other and you keep getting dragged into it?
  • Can you do couples therapy by video if you’re in a long-distance relationship? Why might that be a good idea?
  • How should you approach your partner if you think they would really benefit from individual therapy or couples counseling, but they won’t go?
  • And so. Much. More.

Listen now, using the podcast player below, or WATCH the discussion on YouTube below! (FYI, this podcast was recorded LIVE on Instagram — if you’d ever like to join, tune in (most) Mondays at 12pm Mountain. 

Your partner in growth, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

 

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Let's Talk About YOU: Your Questions, Answered.

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Spread the Love Happiness & Success!

Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

Related Post

How To Develop a Healthy Money Mindset

How To Develop a Healthy Money Mindset

How would you describe your relationship… with money? We all carry subconscious thoughts, feelings and values around money that impact our way of relating to it. Financial therapy helps you create a healthy money mindset so that you can feel empowered and in control of your finances. Here’s how…

The Power Of Connection

The Power Of Connection

Human beings are built to bond — but we can also develop powerful bonds to unhelpful behaviors, toxic people, and even substances of abuse. Understanding the power of connection can help you break unhealthy attachments, and cultivate empowering, energizing new ones. Here’s how…

Relationship Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

Relationship Advice From a Divorce Lawyer

Whether you’re a premarital couple hoping to keep your great relationship healthy and strong, or have a marriage on the brink of divorce, this podcast is for you: Divorce lawyer Jim Sexton shares his unique insight into why couples split, and what you can do to save your relationship.

Create Your Ten Year Plan

Create Your Ten Year Plan

You have the power to actively create your ideal reality ten years from now. Listen to this podcast and get the free “My Ten Year Plan” tool to get clarity about what you REALLY want… and empowering awareness about how to make it happen.

How to Not Be a Dick

How to Not Be a Dick

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast therapist and author Dr. Mark Borg talks about his new book, “Don’t Be a Dick,” and shares his advice for how to stay calm and compassionate. (Even when other people are being jerks.)

Let’s Talk About YOU

Let’s Talk About YOU

Relationship questions? Communication questions? Breakup questions? Therapy questions? We’re tackling them ALL on the latest episode of the podcast.

Coping With Your Broken Heart Over The Holidays

Coping With Your Broken Heart Over The Holidays

Coping With Your Broken Heart Over The Holidays

Holidays + Heartbreak = Growth (Really)

It’s Not The Happiest Time Of Year If You’re Hurting…

Breakups and divorces are difficult any time of year, but most people find that the period between Thanksgiving and Valentine’s Day adds an extra layer of angst and anxiety to their breakup recovery process. Even if you’ve been making progress, encountering your first round of holidays alone can trigger a fresh round of grief, anger, and anxiety. Why?

1) You have painful old memories of (happy) holidays past.

2) You have to deal with potentially awkward social events, and difficult questions.

3) When everyone else is together, it highlights your loneliness.

On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m going to be giving you actionable advice to cope with all of it. You’ll learn how to take care of yourself, ways to manage your feelings, and most importantly — how to use this time to heal, grow, and move on to a brighter future.

Your partner in growth,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps. Don’t forget to sign up for the free advice and resources I mentioned in this episode. Signup box is below…

 

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Coping With Heartbreak Over The Holidays

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Spread the Love Happiness & Success

Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

Related Posts

Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? How to Let Go…

Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? How to Let Go…

Are you still thinking about your Ex months, or even years after the relationship ended? Breakup and divorce recovery coach Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby shares how to release the past and heal your heart so you can move on with your life, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

Why Friendships End

Why Friendships End

Have you lost a cherished friend? Or are you struggling with an increasingly toxic friendship? Learn why, and what to do about it, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

How to Let Go of Anger

How to Let Go of Anger

There is a time and place for healthy anger, and getting stuck in anger can keep you anchored to a painful past. Learn how to release anger and reclaim yourself, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

How to Break Up With Someone You Love

How to Break Up With Someone You Love

Breaking up is always hard to do, but especially when you care very much for your person and don’t want to hurt them. Learn how to use compassionate honesty to liberate both of you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

Should You Have Sex With Your Ex?

Should You Have Sex With Your Ex?

Are you stuck in a post-breakup purgatory of hanging out, hooking up or even cohabitating with your Ex? Learn how to set yourself free, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

Dating After Divorce

Dating After Divorce

If your last relationship ended painfully, it can be hard to think about dating again. Here’s some compassionate advice from a dating coach to help you move forward, when the time is right.

Mindful Self Compassion

Mindful Self Compassion

How do you forgive yourself when you’ve hurt someone? How do you gain self awareness, master your emotions, and break destructive old patterns? Mindful self compassion can help you make peace with the past, and move forward. Here’s how…

Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? How to Let Go…

Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? How to Let Go…

Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? How to Let Go…

Break Your Attachment To Your Ex

Have you ever found yourself saying (or thinking) “How do I stop caring about my Ex? Why am I still thinking about my Ex? I don’t care! But I do…” Like so many of our breakup counseling clients or divorce recovery clients, you’re wanting to fully heal your heart so that you can let go of the past, and move forward into a new future.

But —as we all know — letting go of a relationship is easier said than done. It’s close to impossible to turn off your feelings for someone else, even when you know, logically, that the relationship should be over.

Many people come to us for therapy or coaching after a breakup or divorce for this exact reason: They need support in figuring out how to move past the past, reclaim their power, and start feeling good again. The most maddening thing is often knowing the relationship is over…and yet they’re still thinking about their Ex. Still fantasizing about them, even. They sometimes think about getting back together with their Ex, or whether they should try to rekindle the relationship. Sometimes they try… and quickly remember all the very good reasons whey they broke up.

And yet, despite knowing that the relationship is wrong for them (or perhaps even toxic) they still think about their Ex. They still care about their Ex. They still feel jealous knowing that their Ex has moved on. They hurt… and they want it to stop.

But how? How can you break your attachment to someone? How do you turn off the feelings? How do you stop thinking about your Ex?

Why You’re Still Thinking About Your Ex

One of the first things we do with breakup and divorce recovery clients in therapy or coaching is helping them make sense of their feelings, so that they can learn and grow from them. Also, we need to normalize what is happening: Having lingering feelings for an Ex is very common, and there are many complex reasons for it.

Sometimes, people can’t get past a breakup because they have unfinished emotional business with the past. They have lingering feelings of guilt, anger, regret, or pain that are holding them in the past. They may never have gotten closure around their relationship having ended. They need to do the work of growing and healing before they can move on.

Sometimes, people are still thinking about their Ex for months, or even years after the relationship ended because of lingering insecurities or comparisons they’re making — even subconsciously. This is often true when your Ex has moved on before you have. The path to healing here is to focus on growing your own self-confidence, and feeling like you’re moving towards your goals.

Perhaps the most insidious kind of Ex-attachment is that related to your biology: When you don’t understand how you’re maintaining your attachment to your Ex on a neurological level, you can get stuck for years — even though you want desperately to move on. (For much more on this subject check out my book, “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to An Ex Love”)

Yes, it’s hard to stop thinking about your Ex, but it’s also necessary: Not being able to move on emotionally after a breakup or divorce can impact your life in major ways.

Dating While You’re Still Thinking About Your Ex

Continuing to have feelings for an Ex is not just frustrating, it can also limit your ability to move on and start a new, healthy relationship with someone else. When you’re dating while you still have feelings for your Ex, it can interfere with your ability to form a new attachment. Comparing your new love interests to your Ex can also lead to your breaking things off with someone who could be great for you. If you’re officially broken up but still sleeping with your Ex? No judgment (this is surprisingly common) but you’re going to be stuck for a long time, unless you make some changes.

Emotional Zombie: When Your Feelings For Your Ex Die… But Then Come Back

Another thing we often hear about are situations where you think you’re over your Ex, but then something happens: Your Ex moves on into a new relationship, or you have some new contact with them, and the feelings flare up all over again. Or perhaps you’re still connected with your Ex through social media or have shared friends. When you see or hear about your Ex starting a new chapter without you, it can bring all the pain, regret, anxieties, and even jealousy come roaring back. 

If these feelings are strong enough, they can get in the way of your enjoying your life in the present. It can be hard to focus or concentrate at work, you might worry about running into your Ex and their new partner, or you might even make life decisions based on your feelings about the breakup. None of this is good for you, or fair to you.

The path to recovery often involves working through complex feelings related to grief, longing, guilt, regret, anger, and even self-forgiveness. While you can’t “turn off” feelings about an Ex, you absolutely can use them to do important personal growth work that will move you forward.

How to Stop Thinking About Your Ex, For Good

If you’re still thinking about your Ex, and wishing you could let go and move on, today’s Episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast is for you.

On today’s episode, we’ll be discussing:

  • Why you can’t stop thinking about your Ex
  • Why understanding your biology can set you free
  • What to do when you’re obsessing about your Ex’s new relationship
  • Why anger and guilt can keep you trapped in the past
  • How to let go of insecurities and jealousy about your Ex’s new relationship
  • How to get closure after a relationship has ended
  • How to let go of a toxic relationship
  • How to (authentically and honestly) work through the feelings in a healthy way
  • How to use this experience as a launchpad for growth

Your partner in growth,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: Some of the resources I mentioned on this podcast refer to other, past episodes, other articles on the blog, and also some listener questions about breakups I answered on IGTV. I’ve sprinkled links to them through this article. Do you have follow up questions? Get in touch through Instagram, or leave them for me in the comments below! LMB

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Can't Stop Thinking About Your Ex? How to Let Go and Move On...

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: Torrelli and the Fuse, “Forgive and Remember”

Enjoy This Episode?

Please Rate, Review and Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

More Breakup Recovery Advice on The Blog + Podcast

Why Friendships End

Why Friendships End

Why Friendships End

Friends Break Up, Too…

WHY FRIENDSHIPS END • Many people get involved with therapy or life coaching here at Growing Self in order to improve all their relationships — not just their romantic partnerships or marriages. Let’s face it: Friendships can present their own unique challenges.

Many people find themselves struggling in their friendships. Perhaps they’re dealing with the end of a valued friendship, aka a “friend breakup.” Maybe they’ve gotten entangled with a friend who is becoming increasingly toxic. Others are struggling with how to set boundaries with a friend. Still others are wanting to have more and healthier friendships in their lives. Friendships are complex, and just as important to most people as their romantic relationships, yet there’s very little good advice for how to deal with issues with your friends. 

All relationships have ups and downs. All long term relationships — romantic or friendships — require energy and work to thrive and evolve as we change and grow. However, because many people genuinely do not know how to resolve issues with a friend, they simply withdraw from the friendship. While breaking up with a friend can seem like the only way to resolve a conflict, often, it’s not.

Why Friendships End

People who have been “ghosted” or broken up with by a friend — oftentimes by someone they considered a very good friend — often feel heartbroken over it. They don’t know why their friendship ended. They have sleepless nights, and feel the loss intensely. There can be a gaping hole in your life where your good friend used to be that feels hard to fill. If you’ve lost a friend, the process of healing and recovery can be very much like that of healing after a bad breakup. This is often a situation that we address in our therapy and life coaching work.

Friendships end for many reasons. Friends break up. Just like the wonderful growth work that can arise after dealing with any other bad breakup, understanding why your particular friendship ended can also be a powerful growth opportunity. It gives you the opportunity to understand yourself better, learn more about how people work, and the chance to develop healthier friendships going forward. 

How to End a Friendship

On the other side of this, there are situations where people feel compelled to end their friendships for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they feel that they need to end a toxic relationship with a friend. Other times people feel that it’s just too hard to address the issues and work on things with their friend the same way they would with a romantic partner. Other times, it just feels like they and their friend have grown apart. They want to have more distance between them and their former close friend, but don’t know how to achieve it compassionately. 

Navigating The Ups and Downs of Friendships

On this episode of the Love, Happiness  and Success Podcast, we’re talking all about friendships. Specifically, we’ll be discussing:

  • Why friendships end
  • How the dynamics of friendships are similar to and different from romantic relationships
  • How to mend a friendship that has been feeling strained
  • What to do about toxic friendships
  • How to cope if you’ve been ghosted by a friend
  • The path of healing after an unexpected friendship loss
  • How to end a friendship compassionately
  • How to change a friendship if you need different boundaries with a friend

All that and more, on this episode.

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, LMFT, LP, BCC

 

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Why Friendships End

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: Wimps, “Vampire”

Enjoy the Podcast?

Rate, Review and Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

More Love, Happiness and Success Advice on the Blog

How to Let Go of Anger

How to Let Go of Anger

How to Let Go of Anger

Release Anger + Reclaim Yourself

 

How to Let Go of Anger

Not to long ago I was talking with one of my life coaching clients about a regrettable situation that he experienced with a family member. There was a bad argument that actually became physical, and an already strained relationship felt like it was broken beyond repair.

He was okay with that: This family member was so toxic that it was probably in the best interests of all to not attempt to mend that particular relationship, but rather focus on healthy boundaries.

In our coaching session we talked about the event itself, and we both agreed that he handled himself as well as possible under very difficult circumstances.

But, as is so often the case, even though the event itself was in the past, he still found himself having intrusive thoughts and feelings about it. Specifically, he felt angry. He felt angry at his family member for being so horrible. He felt angry that he’d been assaulted. He felt angry that this person had been so disrespectful and hurtful to other family members. He felt angry that a holiday gathering that should have been a happy time for his family had been spoiled.

His question to me, “How do I let go of anger?” was such a good one that I thought I’d share the answer(s) with you, too. Why? Because I bet that you, like so many of our life coaching and therapy clients here at Growing Self, might also be harboring some anger that it’s high time to release.

Anger: When The Past Is Emotionally In The Present

There are many different types of anger that often impact our life coaching, therapy, and couples counseling clients here at Growing Self. All are different in some way, and similar in others. All are important, and deserve attention.

Anger After Being Mistreated

Many people harbor feelings of anger after being mistreated in the past. Perhaps they were wronged by a parent, or a sibling, or a friend, or a co-worker, or in a former relationship. They have the right to their pain, and often the anger itself is entirely legitimate and justifiable: They were treated badly and have a right to be angry.

The issue arises when they are feeling angry, now, in the present moment, months or years after the event occurred. The anger attached to the past event is still very much alive inside of them and impacting the way they feel, as well as their sleep or even their physical health.

Having unresolved anger from the past can also impact your current relationships. Until you’ve worked through your anger, it’s likely that you will be triggered by situations in your current relationship and that can lead to problems. If you find yourself having feelings about things that seem out of proportion to what is actually happening, it may be helpful to do some exploration around whether you have lingering feelings of unresolved anger from past experiences.

Anger After Infidelity

It’s extremely difficult for many people to release anger after infidelity or betrayal. One of the biggest hurdles to many of our marriage counseling or couples therapy clients who are trying to repair their relationships after an affair is helping them let go of anger after infidelity or betrayal.

Feeling so angry with your partner after a betrayal is very common, but unless you’re getting support in how to work through that anger constructively, anger can also be extremely destructive to the relationship. While there is a place and time for anger, if you don’t find a way to work through it, ongoing anger after an affair can sabotage your efforts to rebuild your relationship. 

Anger After a Divorce or Breakup

Similarly, many of our breakup recovery coaching clients are dealing with massive amounts of anger after a breakup or divorce. While it is absolutely normal to be angry after a divorce or breakup, anger is also one of those emotions that can keep you stuck in the past for much longer than is healthy for you.

Many people find that working through the anger about their breakup or divorce is an essential step in their healing process.

Feeling Angry With Yourself

It’s also not uncommon for people to be carrying anger towards themselves. This is often (paradoxically) true for people who have done a lot of wonderful personal growth work and are very different people than they were years ago. As they evolve personally, they may become aware that they did things in the past that they would never do now — and they feel angry with themselves for it. Learning constructive ways to deal with feelings of regret, or forgiving yourself for behaving badly or betraying yourself in the past is often a crucial step towards ultimate growth and healing.

Why You Need to Let Go of Anger (Eventually)

If you’ve had bad things done to you, you will understandably feel angry. And sometimes, in certain circumstances, anger is actually a very healthy, helpful emotion. Anger protects you, it warns you, and it gives you the energy to defend yourself. But at some point, anger no longer serves its original purpose of protecting you.

However, unresolved anger simmers inside of you, creating a physiological stress response that over time, damages your body. Furthermore, unresolved anger leads to thoughts and emotions that constrict your ability to feel positive emotions. Worst of all, unresolved anger can trap you: Tarnishing the present moment, taking up all the space in your relationships, and coming out in ways that are destructive to you or others.

Letting Go of Anger

So on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m going to be sharing my best advice for how to let go of anger. We’ll be discussing:

  • Different types of anger
  • How holding on to anger harms you, ultimately
  • Strategies to work through anger, productively
  • Ways to maintain a more positive emotional equilibrium
  • How to find forgiveness (and still have boundaries)

I hope this podcast helps you on your path of growth and healing.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Letting Go of Anger

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: The  Golden Dawn, “Let The Sunshine In”

Enjoy the Podcast?

Please rate and review the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

How to Break Up With Someone You Love

How to Break Up With Someone You Love

How to Break Up With Someone You Love

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

It’s So Hard To Say Goodbye…

 

In my role as a therapist, life coach and breakup recovery coach here at Growing Self, I have had the honor and privilege to walk along side many people as they make agonizing decisions about whether or not to stay in a relationship. They often have deep ambivalence about the relationship: They love their person, and they acknowledge that the relationship has many good aspects, and yet they simply feel in their heart that it is not the right relationship for them.

So they stay. Sometimes, for years.

Can you relate? If so, you know how difficult it is. I bet, if you’re like most people currently in a relationship that you would like to end, you can feel pretty stuck. On the one hand, you care for your partner and don’t want to hurt them. On the other hand, you know that sooner or later, this needs to end.

But how? When? How do you breakup with someone you still love, especially if they don’t want the relationship to end?

Can You Care About Someone and Still Want to Break Up?

It’s actually very normal to care about someone, and yet want to end the relationship. In fact, having compassion for your partner as a human being is one of the things that can make a breakup so difficult.

I actually had someone write in with this exact question, asking about how he’s actually tried to break up a number of times, but his partner essentially convinces him that things can get better. He acquiesces, and things do get better for a little while, but then things go back to the way they were. He feels that they are not right for each other, but gets talked back into trying again every time he tries to break up.

This has been going on now for… ready? … Eight years.

He know it needs to end. They’re actually engaged now. He wants to break off the engagement but doesn’t know how. He doesn’t want to be the “bad guy.” He feels that he’s hurt her enough already, and doesn’t want to cause her more pain. But… he also wants to be out of the relationship.

Hear Henry’s whole question, and my response, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I’m addressing:

  • Why people get stuck in unhappy relationship
  • Why (and when) breaking up can be the most compassionate thing for all parties
  • How to break up with someone you care about (especially if they argue with you about it)
  • Underlying factors that can contribute to people having “commitment issues”
  • What relationship patterns need to be addressed, lest they follow you into your next relationship
  • What to discuss in couple’ counseling if you want to give it one more shot

I hope this perspective helps!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

 

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

How to Break Up With Someone You Care About

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Enjoy the Podcast?

Please rate and review the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Let’s Talk About YOU

Relationship questions? Communication questions? Breakup questions? Therapy questions? We're tackling them ALL on the latest episode of the podcast.

Relationship Questions, Communication Questions, Dating Questions, Breakup Questions, Therapy Questions, Denver Therapy Online Life Coach

Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex? How to Let Go…

Are you still thinking about your Ex months, or even years after the relationship ended? Breakup and divorce recovery coach Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby shares how to release the past and heal your heart so you can move on with your life, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

can't stop thinking about ex new relationship stop obsessing over ex breakup advice divorce recovery denver therapist online life coaching denver

Growing Self Counseling & Coaching
Growing Self
Loading...