How to Avoid Ghosting in a Relationship

How to Avoid Ghosting in a Relationship

Relationship Ghosting

If you’ve dated for an extended period of time, especially online, you’re probably familiar with ghosting. Ghosting is when either you or the person you are talking to discontinues contact without providing explanation. This is usually a confusing experience but for some, this might actually feel relieving! 

Today we are going to dive into ghosting: Why it happens, why you might want to ghost someone, and how to handle both situations. Because the truth is, there is a better way!

As a dating coach, ghosting is the number one topic that comes up. Whether it’s left you wondering “What the heck went wrong?!” or “I just don’t know how to tell them I’m not interested,” this topic gets brought up often in my dating coaching sessions. I want to demystify the act of ghosting for you today, so you know what to do if you think you might be getting ghosted and how to avoid ghosting others.

Why is this Happening to Me??

So, you’ve been chatting with someone for a while, things seem to be going great, maybe you even meet up for a date or two then…nothing. No follow up text, no plans made, no response when you check in to see if everything is okay. Being in this position is hurtful and confusing and it’s hard not to feel like something went wrong. 

If you’ve been ghosted, you may be wondering “Why did this happen to me??” And understandably so! It’s difficult to know what truly went wrong if you’re left with little to no feedback. 

However, instead of allowing yourself to get stuck in the muck of “Is this my fault? What could I have done differently?” I encourage you to take a step back from the situation and find gratitude in knowing that you didn’t continue down a path with someone who wasn’t the right person for you. 

Just because you’ve experienced ghosting first hand, doesn’t mean that you’re unloveable or that something is inevitably wrong with you. It really has more to do with the other person than it has to do with you. 

Being ghosted is confusing so I wanted to outline some tips to utilize if the person you’ve been talking to suddenly becomes MIA:

4 Ways to Move On When You’ve Been Ghosted

#1 Wait to See if They Respond

How long should you wait before calling it? Typically around 5-7 days is a good time frame to see if this person will respond. Unless something emergent arises or they explicitly tell you they aren’t able to respond, if you haven’t heard from them in more than a week, it’s safe to say that they have discontinued contact.

# 2 Try Not to Take it Personally

This is important. When you get ghosted, it’s normal to reflect on your conversations and dates to analyze every little thing trying to figure out what happened. I want you to stop, take a breath, and let yourself be okay with not knowing. Whatever happened, it was on their end. In the end, you’ll be happier dating someone who likes you exactly the way you are and who can effectively communicate their thoughts and feelings!

# 3 Send a Closing Message (optional)

For some people, once they get ghosted, that’s the final straw. If you are feeling like you need that closure, create a message to provide that closure for yourself. You don’t even need to send it, just writing down your feelings can help provide that closure. Being able to state something like “I haven’t heard from you since our last date. It was really nice getting to know you and good luck in the future!” can be relieving and a symbolic way to move forward. Remember to be kind and courteous, we’re all going through our own journey.

#4 Get Back Out There

Don’t let this experience discourage you from moving forward. This might even be a great talking point in future dates because chances are, they’ve been ghosted too!

Why Do People Ghost?

There are many reasons why someone might ghost a new relationship. However, the most frequent reason I see with my dating coaching clients is usually because they don’t know how to communicate their needs or express that they just aren’t interested. 

Instead of having the sometimes tough and honest conversation, they just disappear. *POOF* Ghosters aren’t typically bad people, but they aren’t great communicators. If you’re finding yourself in this position, I know it feels like the easy way out is by ghosting the other person, but I have some tips for you today so that you can provide closure moving forward instead of confusion. 

How to Avoid Ghosting Others

Being on the other end, it’s easier to understand that sometimes, ghosting happens! Some of the more common reasons I hear, as a dating coach, are: I’m not interested, I don’t want to hurt their feelings, I’m too busy, etc. Whatever your reasoning is, more often than not, ghosting feels worse than directness.

# 1 Be Explicit About Your Expectations

Before going on a date, let the other person know and understand what your expectations are. Talking about your expectations of the date and future relationship BEFORE beginning a relationship can help you sort through whether you even want to continue forward with this person. It’s easier to end a dating conversation than it is to end a relationship several months later. 

# 2 If You’re Feeling it On the Date, Address It

If you’re on a date with someone and begin to feel uninterested, bring it up! Being able to be vulnerable and say “I’m not feeling like we are connecting the same way we used to. Do you also feel that?” gives the other person the opportunity to voice their feelings and thoughts. This is a good chance to see if it was situational or if you really aren’t feeling it. If you’re feeling it, chances are the other person is too.

# 3 Communicate

After you’ve done some thinking, perhaps you’re feeling like this isn’t going to work out. Send the other person a text or call them to let them know that you’re not interested in continuing to pursue this relationship at this time. Here are some examples:

  • “Hey! I had a lot of fun last night- thank you for inviting me. I didn’t feel a romantic connection and I am not interested in going on a future date. Good luck!”
  • “After talking to you, I realized we don’t have the same desires for a future relationship. I think it’d be best for us to both continue seeing other people. Thanks again.”
  • “I’ve enjoyed getting to know you recently- thank you for sharing about yourself. Because I respect you and your time, I wanted to let you know that I am not interested in pursuing a relationship.”

# 4 Anticipate a Reaction

Being able to communicate and be vulnerable about how you're feeling, leaves you open for hurt. I believe this is part of the reason so many people ghost because you don’t have to see or hear the reaction that the silence has caused. In most cases, people appreciate the open communication and might be disappointed but understanding. Other people might show their hurt differently. Try to remember during these times that you are making the best decision for you and that you are being respectful of the other person’s feelings.

Dating is a tricky world to navigate and it’s become even more complex with the integration of dating apps and social media. Because there are so many ways to hide and avoid through the use of technology, it’s even more important that we show up fully and sometimes that means recognizing your feelings of discomfort, sadness, or loneliness. I want to encourage you to continue to push through, listen to yourself (not your inner-critic), and not feel discouraged with your dating experiences. 

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Toxic Shame

Toxic Shame

Toxic Shame

Healing Toxic Shame

What is toxic shame? Shame is a normal emotion that many of us feel from time to time but don’t often recognize. Most of us will experience shame in our lifetime and it doesn’t necessarily mean there’s something wrong or “bad” about us. Usually, it feels like wanting to hide, trying to camouflage or blend in, and feeling bad or worthless. Shame can be really informational about our experience and how we react to certain events or people. Toxic shame on the other hand is taking these feelings and expanding on them. When there is an interference in your normal life due to feelings of shame, it can be an indicator of toxic shame. 

If you are reading this and it’s resonating with you, you are not alone. As a Colorado therapist and online life coach, I work with clients around feelings of shame and establishing a healthy relationship with their emotions, life events, and people. If feelings of shame are impacting your life, causing unhappiness, distraught, or the inability to fully live your life, go to work, or interact with others – then you may be experiencing toxic shame. 

In this article, I hope to shine some light on toxic shame, what it looks like and how you can begin to heal if you are experiencing toxic shame in your own life. If you know someone who might benefit from reading this, please feel free to share this content with them. We all struggle with shame from time to time, if it’s causing you or a loved one to live a life of hurt and loneliness – it may be time to reach out for help. 

Signs of Toxic Shame

When shame crosses the line into toxic or unhealthy territory, it can look like:

  • Obsessing over your mistakes to the point of interfering with sleep/work/relationships
  • More often than not, feeling worthless, hopeless, ruined, or bad
  • Feeling as though you deserve bad things to happen to you or that you don’t deserve good things
  • Saying sorry repeatedly for things
  • Feeling as though you need to overextend yourself to make others like you
  • Basing major life decisions on the feelings of shame (for example, passing on a promotion because you don’t think you’re “good enough” even when you’re aptly qualified.)

Do you relate to any of the above? It’s okay if you do, it doesn’t mean that there’s no way out. In fact, there is a way out – and there is a happier, healthier you on the other side of toxic shame. Working through and healing from toxic shame is a process, but with time and a good support system you can start to see changes take hold!

When beginning this healing process, I like to discuss the difference with my therapy clients between normal shame and toxic shame – it can be helpful to better understand how shame shows up in your life, why it shows up, and how to work through it if you can first determine what’s toxic versus what isn’t.

Where Does Toxic Shame Come From?

If you experience shame, congratulations, you’re human! We all experience it from time to time. There’s not one cut and dry answer for why toxic shame exists. Focusing into these feelings can be insightful into the potential reasoning. Although figuring out the reasoning could be relieving and informative, I want to mention that it’s okay if you don’t know. What matters is that this is something that resonates and affects your life, regardless of the “why” behind it.

Let's Talk. Schedule a Free Consultation Today.

How Do I Stop Experiencing Toxic Shame?

Toxic shame thrives in avoidance, ignorance, and secrecy, and it wants to keep you isolated. By illuminating our feelings and giving them attention, we can start to protect ourselves from feelings of toxic shame. 

It can be painful in the beginning to show up for yourself in this way. If you have been experiencing toxic shame for sometime, you might feel like the darker blanket of avoidance is more comforting than the unfamiliar air of illumination, but if you sit in the sun for just a little bit you’ll start to feel the warmth of bringing to light toxic shame and working through the experiences that hold you back. 

If you want to make lasting changes in your relationships, workplace, and personal life – the first step is going to be identifying your toxic shame triggers and developing techniques to help you heal. 

Here’s a list of other things you can try when experiencing toxic shame:

  • Identify your triggers (think about emotional states, people, places, or events that increase your shame)
  • Create alternative thoughts or coping techniques
  • Talk with a therapist or coach about your shame
  • Confide in your friends and family about your experiences with shame (it’s likely they’ve had similar experiences!)
  • Find a mantra that you can tell yourself in times of shame

Is there a Treatment for Toxic Shame?

Unfortunately there isn’t a magic shame pill or “Stop it!” button to help us from experiencing toxic shame. I believe that if you’ve already identified that toxic shame is something you struggle with, you’re already on your way to healing. Self compassion is a useful tool to help combat toxic shame.

If you aren’t familiar with self compassion, I encourage you to reach out to a friend, loved one, or support group that can help encourage you on this journey. Many times when we are stuck in an unhealthy place – it’s hard to see the good or light that may be part of us or surrounding us – having someone or a group of people who can help call out the good and lovely in you can be very helpful. 

Here are a couple ways to practice self compassion:

  • Accept that the moment is painful or uncomfortable
  • Respond kindly and gently to yourself
  • Honor your feelings
  • Remember that imperfection is part of being human

For more information of self compassion and tips for practicing self compassion in your daily rituals see:
Mindful Self Compassion
How to Practice Self-Love
Emotional Self Care When Your Life is Falling Apart

Getting Help for Toxic Shame

Sometimes it’s difficult to face toxic shame alone, and you shouldn’t have to. Working with a trained professional, whether a coach or counselor, can help you navigate toxic shame, vulnerability, and self compassion. When working through toxic shame, you may experience other emotions that come up – anger, hurt, unforgiveness, feeling unworthy, overwhelmed, or sad all the time. I want to remind you that there is good for you, there is happiness, and you can feel confident and worthy once again. It just takes time. 

 

Wishing you warmth and healing, 
Megan Brice

 

Denver Career Coach Online Career Counselor Therapist in Broomfield Online Therapy

Megan Brice, M.S., LPCC is a career counselor, life coach and therapist who creates a warm environment for you to explore the depths of who you are, so you can grow. She challenges, encourages, and empowers you to embrace transition in order to create future fulfillment.

 

 

Real Help, To Move You Forward

 

Everyone experiences challenges, but only some people recognize these moments as opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

Working with an expert therapist or life coach can help you understand yourself more deeply, get a fresh perspective, grow as a person, and become empowered to create positive change in yourself, your relationships and your life.

 

 

Start your journey of growth today by scheduling a free consultation.

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Creating A Good Place For Yourself – Mentally

Creating A Good Place For Yourself – Mentally

Creating A Good Place For Yourself – Mentally

Healthy Habits for Mental Health

[social_warfare]

Let’s talk about mental health in the midst of the current state of affairs. As an online therapist, I have been talking with my clients a lot about their transitions into a “new normal.” For some of you, you may still be asking big questions, feeling a little lost, and wondering while the world keeps moving on – are you the only one still struggling to connect with the reality around you? I know it can be hard to stay uplifted, to think positively, and to take care of yourself during this stressful time. Being so connected to the outside world, thinking about yourself on an individual level is difficult but also important. 

Now more than ever, we need to be taking care of ourselves and showing ourselves compassion. I’ve created a list of different strategies that you can use to help with adverse side-effects of the pandemic and newly faced challenges that this time brings. Today I want to share with you some simple ways for creating a good place for yourself, mentally.

Beneficial Breathing Techniques

Box Breathing 

This is one of the techniques that I teach most frequently since it can be done anywhere at any time. Start by inhaling for 4 seconds, holding your breath for 4 seconds, exhaling for 4 seconds, and holding for 4 seconds before taking your next inhale. Do this exercise a couple of times then try and increase the time to 5 seconds, 6 seconds, and so on. 

Grounding Meditation

This one not only focuses on your breath but moves more to connect your breath to your body. Find a comfortable position, either sitting or laying down. Start by taking 5 deep breaths. Starting with your toes, notice how they feel. Clench and unclench them while continuing to breathe. Move up to your legs, releasing any tension you might have. Each time you move to a new body part, make sure you are remembering to take deep breaths. Continue up to your stomach, your back, your shoulder muscles; flexing and relaxing. If there is a certain area that seems to hold more tension, focus on that area more, connecting your breath and flexing/relaxing until it feels there is less tension. Move up to your jaw, unclench. Take your tongue off the roof of your mouth and relax. Make sure you do this for your arms, hands, face, etc.

Belly Breathing

This one is good to do especially if you have kiddos around (they can do it too!). Grab a stuffed animal (or a pillow works too) and lay on your back. Put the stuffed animal on your stomach. Begin breathing deeply into your stomach so that you can see the stuffed animal rise and fall with your breath. You should see the stuffed animal go up and down. Try to focus on increasing your breath. Do this as long as you’d like!

Disconnecting For Inner Peace

Social Media Distancing

In light of the social distancing rhetoric, I want to add some social media distancing. Because of the constant stream of news and information, it makes it difficult to think of anything else. Put your phone on silent and set a timer. The timer amount is up to you, whether you set it for 10 minutes or an hour, any amount will help. Now go do something that isn’t technology related!

**Side note: if you are currently worried about an emergency, let those people know that you will have your phone on vibrate for the next x amount of time. You can also tell them in case of emergency to ring you 3 times in a row so that it alerts you to break your social media distancing and address the situation.

Boredom Buster (Non-Technology)

Break out a board game or a deck of cards. If you have friends or family around, you can play a game! If you are alone, you can build a house of cards or work on your shuffling technique. Puzzles are a great, non-technology activity as it makes your brain work in a different way. If you have children (or don’t, no one’s judging!) you can make your own puzzle by creating a picture, gluing it to cardboard, and cutting your own unique puzzle pieces. Pick up a book that you currently own and read a couple of chapters. Who knows, it might even be a cooking book to help inspire your next recipe!

Cognitive Strategies To Boost Your Mood

Balance Your Thoughts

It might be helpful to use a pen and paper for this activity. Write down fears and the thoughts you have related to you personally regarding the pandemic. Now go back through and list your initial reactions to each one. Below that write the challenged thought. Taking into consideration the reality of the situation. Is this realistic? If it is, what can I do now to prepare? Try to consider other thoughts and beliefs in opposition to this fear. 

For example: I am scared that I will be impacted financially. Initial thought: I could lose my position. Challenged thought: This is a possibility. I am going to use this time to prepare my resume and budget accordingly. I am going to reach out to my HR department and discuss their plans moving forward.

If you have experienced job-loss through this challenging time we have put together some helpful resources for you during this transition and personal growth period: 
Career Growth: How To Set Yourself Up For Success!
Find Your Focus: 7 Simple Steps to Your Dream Career
Coronavirus and Career: How We Make This Work — Advice From a Career Coach
Coping With Job Loss

Self-Compassion

Be kind to yourself during this time. It is 1000% okay to feel nervous, worried, fearful, sad, and angry. Your feelings are valid and give you information about yourself. Focus internally about how you might be talking to yourself during this time. Is it mean or harmful? Begin shifting this narrative and talking to yourself with more kindness. It sounds silly and it might be difficult to begin practicing but stick with it. As Amy Cuddy states in her TedTalk, don’t fake it until you make it, fake it until you become it. Practice becomes habit, including our self-talk.

For example: If you are thinking how angry you are at the situation, challenge yourself. Say to yourself, yes I am angry AND I am also trying my best for myself right now.

For more tips and self-compassion and how to navigate emotional self-care, check out Emotional Self Care When Your Life is Falling Apart

Mindfulness

Being so engulfed in the news lately, it might seem as though you struggle to focus on what’s right in front of you. Take a minute to practice this mindfulness exercise. Look around and name 5 things that you can see. Notice what they look like, their texture, their colors. Now close your eyes. Identify 4 sounds that you hear. What do they sound like? Are they continuous or just a single sound? Are they loud? Are they quiet? Open your eyes and touch 3 objects. What do they feel like? What are their textures like? Are these things comforting to you? Now focus on your smell. Try to pick up on 2 different smells. You might need to go somewhere to try and smell something. Where is it coming from? Now, acknowledge one thing you can taste. Again, you might need to find something edible near you. Focus on what it tastes like, what it feels like while eating it. This mindfulness exercise is used to bring your attention to the present.

Establishing A New Normal When You Don’t Know What That Is

Routine 

Continue practicing your “normal” routine. This includes getting dressed for work, making scheduled meals, going to bed and waking up at the same time,and setting aside time for work as usual. Added note** keep up with your hygiene. It can be hard working from home to stay in sweats for several days and forget to brush your hair, brush your teeth, shower, and go to bed on time. Hygiene is a small change that can make a big difference.

Get Active

Exercise is vital during this time of isolation. Go take a walk, ride a bike, or do the stairs at your apartment/house. There are also tons of free Youtube videos and apps (Nike Training Club is my personal favorite) so that you can practice inside! Yoga is especially beneficial if you are looking for low impact or need an activity to help with anxiety/stress reduction.

Little Connections

Although many have begun the transition back to office life, eating out, and traveling. Social distancing is still very important and encouraged wherever you go. A few ways to stay connected while still social distancing could include continued Facetime with friends and family, playing co-op video games, and reaching out virtually or by phone.

Being in isolation can bring up symptoms of depression and/or anxiety. If you currently have a therapist in Colorado, DORA announced legal mandates to allow therapists to practice teletherapy. If you don't have someone and need to talk, you can reach out to Growing Self, we offer online coaching and therapy services.

Safety: If you feel unsafe at home especially in this time of quarantine, you can reach out to the National Domestic Violence Hotline. Call 1-800-799-7233. Or you can go to their website to chat with an advocate. There is also a list of emergency resources available on our website.

I hope these ideas help you and you are able to come up with your own ideas! Please don’t hesitate to reach out. We are ready to listen. 

Kindly, 
Megan Brice, M.S., LPCC

[social_warfare]
Denver Career Coach Online Career Counselor Therapist in Broomfield Online Therapy

Megan Brice, M.S., LPCC is a career counselor, life coach and therapist who creates a warm environment for you to explore the depths of who you are, so you can grow. She challenges, encourages, and empowers you to embrace transition in order to create future fulfillment.

Let's  Talk

 

 

Real Help, To Move You Forward

 

Everyone experiences challenges, but only some people recognize these moments as opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

Working with an expert therapist or life coach can help you understand yourself more deeply, get a fresh perspective, grow as a person, and become empowered to create positive change in yourself, your relationships and your life.

 

 

Start your journey of growth today by scheduling a free consultation.

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Love Your Body

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Embracing Your Cultural Identity

Feeling connected to your cultural identity can be an important part of life satisfaction for many people, and it can be a large part of one’s identity as a whole. Online therapist, Josephine M., shares more here…

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Career Growth: How To Set Yourself Up For Success!

Career Growth: How To Set Yourself Up For Success!

Career Growth: How To Set Yourself Up For Success!

Career Growth and Transition Tips 

[social_warfare]

The Coronavirus (COVID-19) pandemic has impacted all of us in one way or another. When it comes to talking about career growth and how to use this time productively, there is a lot you can do without making big drastic lifestyle changes. 

This is a great opportunity to take time to explore your options, make decisions, and prepare yourself to take steps towards your ideal future! As an online career counselor, I wanted to give you some activities that you could explore to help you find clarity about career growth and career transitions while also tackling that looming feeling of “Where do I go next?”

Take Your Time: Reflect

Whether you are out of work, working from home, staggering shifts, or continuing work as essential personal, create a space for you to tune in to yourself and reflect on your career beliefs. 

Be intentional while thinking and answering the below questions, taking note of the answers that you come up with or that feel scary to admit. This is a beautiful space to begin wondering about your career growth choices and figuring out what feels like the best next step for you.

Ask yourself:
Am I happy with my current employment situation?
What would I want to change about it?
What’s most important to me when it comes to career options?
What would I like out of my career? 

Think about things such as:
When would be a good time to pursue this?
What does it take to achieve this goal?
Where do I see myself in this job?

Write down the pros and cons of transitioning careers. Some things might be both a pro and a con! Go through and give each topic a point value between 1 and 5. With 1 being the lowest importance. 

By attributing a value system to your list, it can help you recognize what’s most important for you right now.

Do Your Research

So you’ve taken the chance to reflect on your beliefs and desires; congratulations! As a career coach and individual therapist, I view taking time to reflect on big life transitions as a huge area of potential. 

It takes a lot of courage to think about change and what might feel uncomfortable. 

Take a moment to write a list of 5 different career options that seem interesting to you. Remember, writing them down does not mean you have to pursue them! 

Take the list you’ve created and search them individually at both of these sites: https://www.bls.gov/ooh/ and https://www.onetonline.org/

These sites are helpful in providing details such as; demand for the job, pay range, qualifications, as well as other related positions. Give yourself permission to go down a rabbit hole and explore things that look interesting to you!

Update Your Professional Information

Think about what resources need to be updated to appeal to your ideal or prospective job. Some jobs use social media more than others, some are more focused on your resume and cover letter

Put yourself in a hiring manager position and think about what they might want to see out of a prospective applicant. Linkedin, Indeed, and even Instagram and Facebook can be media sources your future employer might want to review (depending on the job of course). 

Keep your profiles up to date to reflect YOU! Let your personality shine through. Yes, employers want to see your accomplishments but they also want to see who you are! 

Go through and tailor your profile for the job you want – cutting out redundant content, elaborating on your accomplishments, and creating uniformity throughout your profile.

Your Resume Matters! 6 Useful Resume Tips

Updating and keeping up with your resume is critical to pursuing the job you want. Most jobs are looking for a one page ‘summary’ on your professional experience. Make sure your resume looks clean, consistent, and easy to read. [If you want to work with a professional, view here is information on connecting with an expert resume and interview coach: Resume Writing Services in Denver | Online Resume Consultant]

  1. Keep important information on your resume that applies to your ideal position while omitting information that might not be completely relevant. I like to keep a ‘full length’ resume that I can copy and paste my experience in and out of.
  2. Highlight aspects that might be important to the job. For instance, if the job you are applying for is in education, it might be important to highlight your academic accomplishments. (If you are applying to jobs in several fields, it might be handy to keep a couple of different versions of your resume like, professional, service industry, education, etc. on hand.)
  3. If you are looking to apply to a specific job, look through the job description, and incorporate keywords into your resume. Hiring managers are looking for those keywords and this can help you organize your experience.
  4. Use concise summaries of your experience using bullet points and action words that match the tense. For example, if you are currently working as an office assistant you might use: “Organizes specialized data spreadsheets.” If you are not currently working there, go back through and change ‘organize’ to a past tense verb.
  5. Formatting should be consistent throughout your document including font, text size, punctuation, dates, etc.. Keep an eye on small things such as; are there periods at the end of every sentence? Is the date format consistent throughout (03/2020 vs March 2020)?
  6. Find someone you trust such as a mentor, professor, or career coach to review your resume and give you feedback.

Some positions require a Curriculum Vitae (CV) or you might have the option to submit a CV in place of a resume. 

A CV is an extended version of your resume that expands on your life accomplishments and academic pursuits. Unlike a resume, which typically is only 1 page, a CV can be as long as you would like. 

Keeping an up to date CV allows you to track your accomplishments, awards, certifications, and projects that you’ve worked hard to accomplish. Here’s a good guide to writing a CV:

https://owl.purdue.edu/owl/job_search_writing/resumes_and_vitas/writing_the_cv.html

Time To Upskill Yourself

Due to the pandemic, companies know there are a lot of people with more time on their hands. Take time to think about what skills your current or next job is looking for. If you have the time and means, take a course or a training to update or learn a new skill that will contribute to your career growth. 

These could be courses from your local college, classes taught online through your field’s board, or one you found through Google. This can be valuable information when going into an interview or preparing to get a new job. 

Financial security is also important to consider during this time. There are ways to upskill yourself for free. Khan Academy offers free courses on several subjects. Plus, there’s no harm in looking! 

Many public libraries have opened up their online databases and have made it more accessible to read Ebooks. Look at your local library and find a book relating to the subject you’d like to learn more about. 

While reading, take notes. It might seem silly but taking notes can help you retain information. 

Youtube can also be a great resource for free information and techniques. Make sure you are looking for credible information in whichever free course you choose. 

It might seem like the world is in a standstill in terms of employment. Although there might be a freeze currently, this pause creates a great opportunity to reflect and spend time with your thoughts about career growth. 

Our professional life is always changing and developing and sometimes it can be easy to lose sight of that. I want to encourage you to be kind to yourself during this time and give yourself permission to explore those ideas that may have gotten tucked away.

Wishing you success,
Megan Brice, M.S., LPCC, NCC

 

P.S. If you have recently lost your job, you're not alone. For helpful tips and encouragement read: Coping With Job Loss and article focused on self-care, career-care, and hope. 

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Denver Career Coach Online Career Counselor Therapist in Broomfield Online Therapy

Megan Brice, M.S., LPCC, NCC is a career counselor, life coach and therapist who creates a warm environment for you to explore the depths of who you are, so you can grow. She challenges, encourages, and empowers you to embrace transition in order to create future fulfillment.

Let's  Talk

 

 

Real Help, To Move You Forward

 

Everyone experiences challenges, but only some people recognize these moments as opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

Working with an expert therapist or life coach can help you understand yourself more deeply, get a fresh perspective, grow as a person, and become empowered to create positive change in yourself, your relationships and your life.

 

 

Start your journey of growth today by scheduling a free consultation.

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Resiliency In The Face Of Chaos

Resiliency In The Face Of Chaos

Resiliency In The Face Of Chaos

Keep Going…

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Everywhere you look online the Coronavirus (or COVID-19) pandemic is mentioned. It has been in every headline, every news outlet, on Facebook feeds, even in every email in my junk inbox. As an Online Therapist and Life Coach, my clients have been asking, “How do I adjust to this current situation?” Today I want to provide you with the same advice I share with my clients on resiliency in the face of chaos. 

When It’s Out of Your Control

The world has faced other health and public concerns, however, never on this large of a scale. It’s scary to read all of the headlines, especially when positivity is rarely reflected in the articles.

Facing a global pandemic and navigating life through COVID-19 is uncharted territory for all of us. Never before has an entire society had to worry about school closures in the middle of the semester, grocery store outages, and heavy financial stress.

There are so many new challenges that we are all facing – many challenges that are merely out of our control. How do we individually and collectively move into a new way of doing things when discomfort and uncertainty surround us?

Focus on the Positive

I want to point out that never before has society been so connected in terms of education and communication. Never before has our local and state communities come so closely together, offering to help. Never before have I seen so many people step up to help their friends and families during this uncertain time. [Read: Building CommUNITY During Social Distancing and Self-Quarantine for more on community during COVID-19]

What COVID-19 is teaching us as a community is that we are resilient and that resiliency in the face of chaos allows us to focus on the positive and find gratitude even in uncertain times. 

What is Resilience?

Resiliency is defined as the capacity to recover quickly from difficulties; toughness. Looking at the world on a global scale, it is in our nature to be resilient and as a collective, this feels more natural as we support one another. However, on an individual scale how can we personally develop resiliency in the face of chaos? 

Acknowledge and Accept

What I practice with my clients is the acceptance of personal feelings or emotions that may feel otherwise uncomfortable. Acknowledging and accepting that you feel scared, worried, confused, angry…these are all okay and valid emotions. The important thing to remember is that you will not feel like this forever – things will get better. 

Focus on Your Journey Ahead

While staying grounded in the present is an excellent way to overcome feelings of anxiety. Thinking about your personal journey and where it is leading you can encourage a sense of comfort knowing that your goals and dreams are still yours, they are still valid and real. 

A few questions you can ask yourself in order to build resiliency in the face of chaos are:

  • What are my hopes and goals for myself moving forward?
  • What can I hope to learn from this experience? 
  • Where have I found meaning and how can I help others in similar circumstances, even if it’s not the same?

Look for Inspiration

Online, pictures spread about animals returning after decreased human activity. Although there is no solid proof of this yet, it does inspire and give us hope in the times we need it. Nature is resilient and hopeful! 

In Spain, you can see people conversing and even exercising with each other from the balcony. 

In Italy, there are videos upon videos of the community gathering in song and music showing the world that despite this uncertain and scary time, we can continue to come together and show each other kindness and comfort. 

Here in the USA, stores are changing their hours to help the vulnerable populations get a headstart on shopping. There are local businesses and volunteer organizations offering food, child care, and even tasks such as getting the mail.

Shift Your Way of Thinking

This isn’t to say that the news shouldn’t be taken lightly or that the impacts of COVID-19 are minimized. Instead, trying to shift from a panic mentality to a resilience mentality can help both in the short and long term. [Read: Intentional Living – How to not Panic in the PANIC for more…]

In the short term, during social distancing and isolation, it is necessary to be thinking about the future and how you are growing. 

In the long term, it will be important to recognize the impact that this pandemic has caused and use it to move forward with helping yourself and helping others.

Right now we are in the midst of a forest fire. It seems like everything will be destroyed and yet, new growth begins to happen again. We are growing, we are coming together, and we will rebuild.

Here’s to your resiliency in the face of chaos,
Megan Brice M.S., LPCC

P.S. How are you building resiliency in the face of chaos? Share with me in the comments below!

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Megan Brice, M.S., LPCC is a career counselor, life coach and therapist who creates a warm environment for you to explore the depths of who you are, so you can grow. She challenges, encourages, and empowers you to embrace transition in order to create future fulfillment.

Let's  Talk

 

 

Real Help, To Move You Forward

 

Everyone experiences challenges, but only some people recognize these moments as opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

Working with an expert therapist or life coach can help you understand yourself more deeply, get a fresh perspective, grow as a person, and become empowered to create positive change in yourself, your relationships and your life.

 

 

Start your journey of growth today by scheduling a free consultation.

Related Post

How to Be Happy

You deserve to be happy. On this episode of the podcast, Dr. Lisa shares science-based life and mind hacks to move out of “meh” and back into joy.

Signs You Have a Bad Therapist

Signs You Have a Bad Therapist

Not all therapists, marriage counselors and life coaches are effective. Some are even unethical. Learn how to spot bad therapy on this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

How to Let Go of Anger

How to Let Go of Anger

There is a time and place for healthy anger, and getting stuck in anger can keep you anchored to a painful past. Learn how to release anger and reclaim yourself, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

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