Meditation: An Anger Management Skill
We have all experienced those moments when we lean into anger and snap quickly! It initially is relieving but often following an anger outburst we feel frustrated, unresolved, and sometimes even shame. Today I want to share with you a recommendation that can lead to decreased anger and improved coping: meditation for anger.
Mindfulness Meditation for Anger
Anger is a secondary emotion that is signaling us something is wrong. It is often masking a deeper negative emotion such as fear, loneliness, and hurt. However, when we are clouded by anger it is difficult to address the deep-seated emotion to heal and solve the issue. Furthermore, anger can often cause us to react in negative ways that might lead to something we regret or damage important relationships.
When we get angry it is easy to notice our body physically respond, we enter in “fight or flight” mode, and adrenaline is released. When this response is experienced too frequently it can lead to negative health consequences such as increased risk of stroke and heart attacks.
Often in my individual therapy sessions with clients, when working with those who find themselves struggling with anger, I recommend meditation for anger called mindfulness meditation. The reason I strongly encourage my clients to utilize meditation for anger is because mindfulness mediation a great way to counteract both the emotional and physical responses from anger. Mindfulness meditation is a process of focusing attention and awareness on thoughts, feelings, and sensations in a nonjudgmental way.
Becoming Aware of Your Anger
In order to utilize mediation for anger, it is important to become aware of key signs you are angry. Does your heart rate increase? Do your muscles tighten? Do you turn red and notice your body temperature rise? Often these physical experiences can be used as warning signs that anger might be taking over.
Anger can lead to negative behaviors like yelling at your romantic partner because they did not do their dishes or breaking your game controller when things don’t go your way. Rather than allowing anger to cause an outburst, slow down and take a step back from the situation.
If you are in an interaction with someone when you start to feel angry, say something like, “I am noticing myself beginning to get angry, so I am going to take a step back into the other room to calm down. That way I can be in a better frame of mind to communicate.” It can be hard to vocalize this, so try rehearsing it to help it become more instinctual. Changing the environment can be beneficial for refocusing emotions and getting into the right frame of mind for mindful meditate.
Meditation for Anger: Does it Actually Work?
Initially, meditation for anger is found to help remove our bodies from the harmful physical distress caused by anger. It adds a coping skill to refocus our body and mind to something pleasant and calming. Mindfulness mediation is also suggested through research that those who turn meditation into a common practice experience less reactivity and can respond to the underlying emotions they experience rather than react in anger. So, if you choose to practice meditation for anger regularly, you might find yourself controlling and limiting your anger.
Meditation for Anger Exercises to Try Today!
Breathing Calm: Take a few moments to focus on your breathing. As you breathe in, imagine gathering all the tense or angry thoughts, as you breathe out, let those thoughts move away from your mind and body. Then as you breathe in, drawdown calm and tranquil thoughts from your mind. As you breathe out, spread these thoughts through your body. The body relaxes, and your mind becomes calm.
Rising Above: Imagine stepping into a hot air balloon. The balloon slowly lifting up into the blue sky, looking down, you see the picture of your life. Any problems seem so small. You take this moment to enjoy silence, peace, and rest your mind. As the balloon gently descends, you return to your day with a quiet and peaceful mind.
Letting Go: This exercise utilizes both breath and mantra. Inhale and slowly say out loud “Let”, then exhale and say “Go,” focusing on relaxing muscles as you breathe.
Tips for Mindfulness Meditation Beginners
Have a difficult time keeping attentive? Utilize a meditation app or YouTube to have guided meditation. The voice of someone walking you through meditation can be helpful in slowing down your process. An added bonus is these apps often have meditations specifically for anger available and even some related to specific triggers.
Finding yourself getting angry during the meditation? Be patient with yourself in the process, it can take time to build the skills for regulating anger and focusing awareness elsewhere. Try to ground yourself with a pleasant stimulus such as comforting food, essential oils, a warm bubble bath, or calming music.
If you find yourself struggling to get started, reaching out to a therapist or life coach who is trained in anger management tools such as mindfulness meditation can help provide support during this learning period.
Wishing you all the best,
Natalie Krenz, M.S., LCMFT is a thoughtful and enthusiastic marriage counselor, premarital counselor, parenting coach, life coach, and therapist who creates an empathetic environment that supports your growth and goals as an individual, couple, or family.