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How to Tell if You Have ADHD

How to Tell if You Have ADHD

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Adult ADHD: A Blessing and a Burden

Have you ever wondered if you have ADD? Want to take an “Adult ADHD Test?” How about listen to a podcast about ADHD?

Okay here’s the first question: Does the fact that I just mentioned this is going to be a podcast about ADHD rather than a written article make you feel relieved? (Because you can run / clean / drive / keep futzing around with whatever you want to instead of having to sit still for a REALLY LONG TIME (like 8 minutes) and laboriously read through an article and take a quiz?)

Ding ding!

Little things like this are only one of the things we therapists and life coaches keep an eye out for when we’re trying to assess whether someone has Adult ADHD. Yes, there are the official DSM Criteria — but what does it actually look like in practice? How do you know if you may have Adult ADHD, or whether you just need to get more organized?

The truth is that you can struggle with ADHD your whole life and not even know that you have it.

You’d be amazed at how many people show up for Life Coaching (or particularly Career Coaching) frustrated out of their gourds by their inability to achieve at the level they know they are capable of — in their work, their relationships, or in their daily life. Life coaching is successful when we identify the obstacles that have been holding you back, and then make a plan to do something different — and get better results in the process.

Some people are shocked to discover that their “obstacle” getting in their way is actually a diagnosis: Adult ADHD.

Attention Deficit / Hyperactivity Disorder is more common in adults than you might think. A Harvard study found that nearly 5% of the population meets criteria for the disorder to the point that it’s causing significant impairment. There are many more people who are “subclinical” — meaning that they have significant symptoms of ADHD but not to a degree that a formal diagnosis is warranted.

ADHD Brings Strengths… and Struggles

It’s not necessarily a bad thing to have ADHD tendencies. People with ADHD tend to have sparkling, active minds and boatloads of new ideas. They often have grand plans, and an energy and enthusiasm for life that’s hard to match. And when people with ADHD lock on to something they are passionate about — look out. They can move mountains.

But having ADHD is also indescribably annoying — for people who have it, and the people who love them. Lost keys, forgotten plans, messy piles, chronic lateness, undone projects and broken commitments make adults with ADHD feel terrible about themselves. They can also create significant problems in a relationship, as you can imagine.

The best news? Adult ADHD is a solvable problem. You can’t make it go away, but you absolutely can learn how to manage it so that it stops getting in your way — and learn how to use the gifts it brings to your advantage.

On today’s episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we’re talking about how to tell the difference between garden-variety disorganization and real-deal ADHD. I’ll give you an “Adult ADHD Quiz” to help you determine if you might have it, or if someone you love may struggle with it. I’ll also be sharing some strategies you can use to conquer Adult ADHD, and rise to your magnificent potential.

Your partner in growth, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: In this episode I mention a number of books, plus a funny-ish video about the ADHD experience. Here are the links if you’d like to check any of them out. And no, I’ not an Amazon affiliate or anything — these are just resources I’ve found to be helpful that I’d like to share with you.

The ADHD Experience

Here’s the video I mentioned in the podcast. If you want to communicate to someone you love about how annoying and frustrating it is to have ADHD, you might want to show them this video.

 

Good Books About Adult ADHD

Driven to Distraction, by Drs. Hallowell and Ratey

Taking Charge of Adult ADHD, by Dr. Barkley.

 

 

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How to Tell if You Have ADHD

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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How to Tell if You Have ADHD

Ever wondered if you have Adult ADHD? On today's episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we're talking about how to tell if you have ADD, as well as practical tips for how to get in control of your sparkling mind and channel all your wonderful energy! Read More
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Resilience: How To Adapt to Change

Change and challenging things are part of life and often beyond our control. However, learning how to cultivate resilience allows you to bounce back from adversity, and adapt to changes easily. Here's how... Read More
Resilience: How To Adapt to Change

Resilience: How To Adapt to Change

Resilience: How To Adapt to Change

Toni Qualantone, M.A., NCC, LPCC is a couples counselor, individual therapist, and life coach. She believes everyone has the power to create their most joyful life. Toni supports couples and individuals in making new choices and creating new opportunities that bring them closer to their goals. Passion, effective intervention, and a dash of humor create the perfect environment where change can happen and growth can flourish.

Cultivating Resilience

As a therapist and life coach who is all about helping people grow, I work with many of my clients around cultivating resilience.

What is Resilience?

Merriam-Webster defines resilience as an ability to recover from or adjust easily to misfortune or change.

A death or major loss, a move, a change in career, starting school, a new baby or the blending of a family, the beginning or ending of an intimate relationship; these things are extremely challenging, but sometimes it seems like we can spring back rather quickly and with minimum effort, and at other times it can be a herculean task to simply get through the day.

How resilient you are determines whether you’ll bounce back easily after a challenge, or whether it will lay you flat.

The Source of Your Resilience

All of us, all humans, are resilient in some way. We can not help it. The adage that the only constant in this crazy life is change proves true time and time again. We must be biologically programmed with this mysterious quality to adapt, right? Well, as with most things, it is a little more complicated than that.

I have come to understand resiliency as a complex interplay between biological, psychological, and social or cultural aspects. So, why do people differ so much in their ability to spring back at different times in their life? Maybe we can break it down:

Biological: For me, eye color always comes to mind when we start discussing biology; however, our genes contribute to who we are in so many powerful and unexpected ways. Genetic predispositions, including adaptive or maladaptive traits and behaviors, may start spontaneously with us or may have been passed down through generations.

Psychological: If psychology is the study of the mind and behavior, then we can expect this category to include your thoughts, perceptions and emotional responses. Do you hold high personal expectations for yourself and others? Are you finding an internal voice that is more critical than it was in the past?

Social: What were you taught? What is the right behavior and wrong behavior in a particular situation? What were the rules in your home or with your peers? Our socialization certainly impacts the way we process information, sometimes whether we would like it to or not.

This is complex stuff! It might even be impossible to tweeze these categories away from each other, probably why you cannot find a magic pill at your local pharmacy that results in perfectly adaptable coping.

How to Become More Resilient

Increase awareness of your vulnerabilities. Maybe you are coming off a series of what felt like perpetual loses; you just could not catch a break. Maybe you have transitioned into new, unfamiliar roles in your relationships or at work and your confidence has been shaken. Maybe you lost your main support person or system. Maybe you have experienced a history of loss, betrayal or trauma. Maybe your health, your sleep, your thoughts and your approach to life is feeling hopeless. Whatever your background or your current experience, growing personal awareness is helpful.

Although being resilient is intrinsic to the human experience, it’s also a skill you can build with constant practice. It is not about ignoring the negative stuff in the world. In fact, if we deny our emotions or experiences, we can lose important information and lessons they have to teach us. Through awareness, we can start to understand if our thoughts, circumstances, biology, or a combination of the three are leading us down a difficult road, one where it is harder to get back on track. Personal awareness can result in an alarm, a call to arms, or indicate it is time to rally.

Here are some tips on how you can practice personal awareness in your everyday life: 

  • Remind Yourself of Your Strengths and Abilities
  • Coach Yourself Through Hard Situations With Affirming Self-Talk
  • Take a Little More Time to Engage in Self-Care; Take Extra Good Care of Yourself
  • Participate in a New Experience
  • Help Others or Volunteer
  • Practice an Attitude of Gratitude
  • Nurture Your Relationships

Reach out for help. Maybe you are reaching out for yourself or maybe you are reaching out for someone you love. It can be hard to push past the high expectations we hold for ourselves, or perhaps come from someone or somewhere else. We need to create an environment where reaching out is not seen as weakness or failure but the opposite; healthy striving. This may be particularly challenging if you have a history of being resilient in other situations. Being brave and saying “I need help” can be the first step to more resilience.

Being open to support from others is a strength because adversity will happen. Connection can result in increased meaning, help us cope with current stressors, and result in more resilience. Embracing that others want to help and that you are worthy of love and support can shape your identity and build up your confidence to feel capable of navigating the next challenge.

Trust the process. Maybe you’ve heard this phrase. I certainly use it with my clients, and honestly, I know how frustrating it can be when all you want to do is feel better, now!  Tension builds when we work towards our goals but don’t see automatic results. It can feel painful to sit with our current thoughts and circumstances, especially when it feels like they’ll never change. So how can you cope in the moment, with the ultimate goal of building up your resilience? I’ll leave you with a few more tips:

  • Have a meaningful conversation with a good friend. Sit down and talk about the challenges you are navigating and maybe if you feel ready, start exploring ways to improve the situation or at least feel better about it.
  • Find a therapist who can help you explore the reasons you have a particular goal, why it matters, the fear associated with failure or success, and help you focus on the process, not the outcomes.
  • Pursue goals that align with your values.
  • Use your skills, like interpersonal effectiveness, communication skills, and;
  • practice good self-care
  • Be kind and gentle with yourself. Change takes time.

I’ve noticed that resilience has been a buzzword recently, particularly on college campuses. Hopefully, this discussion on resilience has provided a strong base of understanding as well as helpful tips on how to increase resilience in your own life.

Remember, support is out there. Keep striving!

Toni Qualantone, M.A., LMFT-C

 

How To Increase Self-Confidence, Part 2

How To Increase Self-Confidence, Part 2

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

How Do You Nourish Yourself Emotionally?

 

In my previous post on how to increase self-confidence, I discussed two ways to help you increase your feelings of self-confidence — choosing confident thoughts, and challenging yourself. Today let’s explore a few more habits that will help you feel more consistently and authentically self confident.

Last time, I gave you an assignment: to write down a thought that, if you were to believe it, would help you feel more confident.

Let’s discuss: How was that for you? Did you do the assignment? If so, how did you feel as you wrote down the words? For some people, finding and reminding themselves of self-affirming beliefs feels relatively easy, and good.

However, some people struggle to do this. They feel like positive, self-affirming thoughts are a lie. Thinking supportive things about themselves feels awkward, and untrue. This is especially common for people who are going through a bad breakup or divorce, or who have been in relationships (romantic, parents, others) who have been critical and unsupportive.

If you felt an inward “squirm” as you tried to find better feeling thoughts about yourself (or if you rejected the idea of practicing this skill entirely) you may need more support to shift your inner dialogue. Please consider enrolling in my Happiness Class (where I spend like, five hours of instruction teaching you how to spot and vanquish your inner bully), or getting involved in positive, affirming counseling or life coaching. 

Why? Because self-defeating thoughts can be extremely powerful, and very entrenched. You may need an ally, a partner, to help you even see them — much less talk back to them. An even longer journey may be to discover that the voice in your head that’s tearing you down may not even be true at all, and never was.

But that’s a journey that few can make alone. If you want a partner to help you do this work, we’re always here. You do not need to continue suffering through this by yourself.

However: For others of you, finding the thought that would help you feel more confident was perhaps new, but still do-able. And when you did the assignment it likely gave your self-confidence a boost. If so you’ve experienced a universal truth of self confidence: You are what you believe. Let’s use this success to continue moving you forward.

What’s next? Your follow up assignment is to very deliberately and intentionally remind yourself of that new idea every day. You might even go-getcha some friends for that new thought. Before you know it, you’ll have an empowering, supportive chorus of voices inside of you: cheering you on, celebrating your successes, and motivating you upward and onward. 

But wait, there’s more! Here are a few more tips to help yourself continue feeding the healthy, emotionally supportive part of you.

Effective Ways To Build Your Self Confidence

1) Make a list of things that have gone well. It’s so easy to focus on your perceived character flaws, possible catastrophic outcomes, or times when things didn’t work out the way you hoped. Something about them is just more compelling than positive memories, or thinking about your strengths. Focusing on failures, real or imagined, is a sure fire way to create gnawing self doubt and insecurity.

Try this: literally, sit down with a pen, and write out a comprehensive list of things that you accomplished, things that went well, and things that you know you can do. The act of writing it will give you appreciation for your strengths and your abilities. By willfully connecting with positive memories you will feel more confident to handle new things too. [More: How to Own Your Awesome]

2) Learn the skill of optimism. Yes, optimism is a skill. Unconfident people generally imagine that things will go badly for them, and anticipation of the pain, or consequences of their failures becomes the paralyzing force that prevents them from trying things. (Or, when in the grip of great fear triggered by negative expectations, unconfident people can sabotage their own success).

In contrast, confident people simply expect that things will go well for them, or if things don’t go well they will be able to handle the situation competently. This might sound like a tall order at first, but optimism is a skill that can be learned.

To develop your ability to think in this way, try this: Write out the best-case scenario. Your mind may be crowded  by images of catastrophes, but for this exercise gently push them aside for the moment, and write out the story of what exactly would be happening if you were living out the best-case scenario. To build on this, you may write out possible problems you could encounter, but then immediately write out how you would handle them competently were they to occur. Developing this confident vision will help soothe your anxiety, and feel more competent — and more confident.

3) Populate your life with people who believe in you. If you are spending time with people who generally expect bad things to happen, and who doubt that you (or anyone) can create better outcomes, it may be affecting your confidence.

We humans learn from others, and we internalize the voices of the people we are close to. You’ve probably internalized the voices of your parents as a child, and as an adult the beliefs of those around us get absorbed into our brains too. When you spend time with people who are confident in themselves, they will be more likely to view you as competent too— and they’ll communicate that belief in a variety of ways.

Being exposed to positive expectations of your competence, your worth, and your power to improve your circumstances will make you more likely to feel confident. And, when you feel more confident you will try things that may feel challenging. When you successfully face challenges, your confidence builds.

4) Stay in the present. Things that actually do happen are rarely as scary, catastrophic and overwhelming as we think they are going to be. Our negative anticipations of failure or bad outcomes can be positively visceral, and they make us basically experience the worst possible scenario before it’s even happened. The feelings of dread, terror, and shame we have when living out the possible horrible future in our mind’s eye will paralyze us, and sustain the belief in our incompetence that prevents us from feeling confident.

Try this: Practice unhooking your mind from catastrophe by simply noticing what is happening around you right now. [More on mindfulness, here]. You may be sitting in a chair, laying in bed, or walking. Notice how your body feels, notice the colors and shapes that you see, and notice what you are hearing. That’s all that’s happening now. That is actually all that is ever happening. When you stay here, and mindfully allow the present moment to unfold, you are more likely to feel confident and certain in your ability to cope. [More on managing catastrophic thoughts here, if you’re interestested].

The world needs you. We need you to be your amazing, best self and to do all the wonderful things you’re capable of. [Read: Why The World Is A Better Place Because You’re In It] Strengthening yourself, nourishing yourself, and investing in your confidence gives you the chance to do everything you’re meant to do — for yourself, and others.

Yay for being you!

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

 

How to Increase Self Confidence (Part 1)

How to Increase Self Confidence (Part 1)

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

How do you feel about YOU?

How to increase self-confidence: Self-confidence means having a belief in your own competence to handle things, a belief in your ability to shape your reality and a belief that you are worthy of love and respect.

The feeling-state of self-confidence is elusive for many people. As a therapist and life coach, I often talk to people about how they feel about themselves. Believe it or not, even people that seem like they have it all — intelligence, attractiveness, success, and great relationships — may still also struggle with feeling self-confident. They doubt themselves, and always feel like they need to do more or be better in order to feel “worthy.”

It’s exhausting. It’s also unnecessary.

What I have discovered over the years through my work as a therapist and life coach is that people step in and out of feeling confident. Sometimes we feel more confident than others. I often explore with my clients the times that they feel better about themselves and their lives to see what common elements there are.

This has been an interesting experiment, as I’ve gained insight into specific skills and practices that can help us all feel more consistently confident. Here is one of the core skills I’ve learned over the years about how to cultivate self-confidence and keep self-confidence with you more of the time.

Choose Confidence-Inspiring Thoughts, Intentionally:

When you are feeling the opposite of self-confident (insecure, anxious, incompetent, powerless) it’s likely that you have some core beliefs that are supporting those feelings. For example, you may believe on some deep level that you can’t handle a situation, you’re going to fail, or that you’re not good enough. These beliefs may be so old and automatic that you are not even aware that you are having them. It doesn’t matter. What matters is that you decide to take your power back by choosing confidence-inspiring thoughts. Here are some of my favorites:

– “I am strong and resourceful, and competent to handle whatever life throws my way.”

– “My actions in the present moment create my future outcomes. Today I can make choices that lead me to success.”

– “I am a good person. I am worthy of love and respect.”

I know that this may feel goofy, like some seventies-style “positive affirmation” practice, but this is based on decades of research showing that practicing the thoughts that support your desired mood state is a really effective way of helping you achieve it.

As I teach in my Happiness Class, our brains are plastic. The thinking patterns we indulge literally create neural pathways in our brains.

If you are feeling fearful and insecure, it’s likely that there are neural pathways of automatic thoughts carrying you into that bad feeling place. Deciding on, and practicing, new thoughts feel hard at first, but the practice re-organizes your mind. It establishes new automatic beliefs in your competence, power, and worth that will lead you to better feeling moods.

Even more importantly, when you decide to take control of your inner narrative, you become more empowered. 

Now I have an assignment for you: Write down a thought that, if you were to believe it, would make you feel stronger, more powerful, and more confident. You don’t have to “feel like it’s true. Bonus points for making a public declaration in the comments section. I’ll be reading your answers!

I’ll be back in touch next week with step two of this process. Do your homework and meet me back here next Tuesday, and we’ll move forward together.

 

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

 

Practical Tips for New Parents

Practical Tips for New Parents

Jessica Small, M.A., LMFT is passionate about helping individuals, families & couples create more fulfilling lives and relationships, and to function at an optimum level of health and happiness. Jessica is the facilitator of our Online Postpartum Support Group: New Baby, Happy Life where she shares more practical tips for new parents.

 

Sleep Makes Everything Better

 

By day, I am a marriage and family therapist. I love helping new moms and dads make the beautiful and often challenging transition into parenthood. However, my after-work hours consist of practicing what I preach in my parenting coaching and family therapy sessions as a mom of two littles myself. One of the most valuable lessons I can share with new parents is to prioritize sleep for both you and your children!

Sleep Training Can Be a Lifesaver

When my daughter was 4 months old she went from waking a manageable one time per night to waking up every 2 hours. I thought I was going to lose my mind! I was exhausted, sleep deprived, and overwhelmed by this new pattern. I decided it was time to sleep train.

I packed her up, went to the library, and checked out several books on sleep training. It was a Wednesday when I decided to make this life change and my plan was to start sleep training by that Friday. On Friday evening I skimmed through the rented books and decided sleep training was imminent.

Within a week my little one was sleeping through the night and I was reclaiming my sanity.

When You Educate Yourself You Can Teach Your Kids

During pregnancy, I went to many classes but not one of them talked about sleep, even more importantly, infant sleep. It had never occurred to me that good sleep habits are TAUGHT, and parents are the teachers.

Teaching your baby the habits of good sleep is a lifelong gift. Think about how often people talk about sleep, how great they feel when they get it, and how destroyed they feel when they don’t. Sleep matters.

Research shows that sleep is a critical component of good health, both physically and mentally. We need sleep to function at our optimal level.

Here are three reasons to prioritize your baby’s sleeping skills

When baby is sleeping, everyone is sleeping!

  • Teaching your baby to sleep through the night means that you, the parents, also get the sleep you need. People who are severely sleep deprived often experience increased symptoms of anxiety and depression.
  • Parents who are in a serious need of sleep may find that they are lacking in other ways as well including distress tolerance, emotional regulation, and general self-care.
  • Parenting is a hard job (not to mention any other employment/roles you may hold) and it is critical that you, as a parent, are getting enough sleep to manage it all.

 Teaching good sleep habits also teaches babies how to self soothe.

  • Self-soothing is a fundamental developmental skill. At some point, babies must learn how to calm themselves down from a state of stress or irritation independently of their primary attachment figure.
  • This is a skill they will utilize throughout life. A study published in the Journal of Behavioral Sleep Medicine found that one of the factors that determine an infant’s ability to sleep through the night is based on their ability to self soothe during the first five months of life.
  • Self-soothing may come in the form of sucking on their thumb, pacifier, stroking a security blanket, rubbing their eyes, playing with their hair etc. When a baby is able to self soothe, they are able to fall asleep without being held or rocked AND are able to put themselves back to sleep during the middle of the night without needing mom or dad!

 Knowledge is power.

  • Understanding baby sleep cycles, sleep cues, and positive sleep associations give you, the parent, back a sense of control.
  • When I talk to parents who have little ones that are not sleeping they share a sense of powerlessness, defeat, and frustration. They want their baby to sleep, they want to sleep, but they are unsure of how to make it happen.
  • Understanding the basics of sleep and the sleep teaching strategies provide a framework to operate from. It will help you dispel the myths that might be negating your progress (e.g. babies that sleep during the day, don’t sleep at night- THIS IS NOT TRUE!!!) and it will give you a roadmap for how to manage the sleep regressions that will undoubtedly come even after your baby is trained.
  • Once you have a handle on your baby sleep needs, sleep will come.

Remember, you are the parent, you can do this! May the sleep gods be with you.

Warmly,

Jessica Small, M.A., LMFT

 

P.S. If you need more support please join our Postpartum Support Group! It is a fantastic way to connect with others, learn new skills and strategies for managing this new job you are learning, and getting some extra support.

 

How to Stay Motivated During Your Job Search

How to Stay Motivated During Your Job Search

Sharmishtha Gupta, M.A. is a warm, validating counselor, life coach and career coach who can help you uncover your strengths, get clear about who you are, heal your spirit, and attain the highest and best in yourself, your career, and your relationships.

Job Search Rejection? Here’s How to Cope.

Hello! I’m now a part of the Growing Self team, but I wasn’t always. Even though I’m a career coach, I know first hand what it feels like to keep your head up as you job search for the right position. My experiences in job exploration have taught me how to stay positive and focus on my goals in the face of endless cover letters, difficult interviews, and of course, countless rejections.

Before finding my path as a mental health counselor, life coach and career coach, I dabbled in a lot of different fields. I’ve worked in marketing, at a tech startup, as a pet sitter and dog walker, as a social media manager, as an administrative assistant, and as a tutor. Here are some things I’ve learned along the way….

“I’m sending out tons of applications and not hearing back…”

Remind yourself, finding a new job is a numbers game. Even in a “people” field like counseling, a lot of organizations use recruiters or algorithms to narrow down the pool of applicants. Many fields are highly competitive, with the sheer volume of applications drowning out any chance that yours will get noticed.

Although a cover letter is an opportunity to present yourself to the potential employer, it is still a limited window into who you are as a person. You are a complex, multi-talented and interesting person! I know how demoralizing it can be to put in a lot of effort into trying to convey that through a job application and getting no response. Remember that you are more than your job application, and that the whole process of job hunting makes it easy to feel like you’re being constantly rejected for putting yourself out there.

Depending on the field in which you’re trying to get a job, there can be many alternate approaches to try to improve your chances of landing an interview. Reaching out via LinkedIn or other appropriate social media, marketing yourself in creative ways, or even making a phone call (*gasp* I know!) can be strategies that might be helpful if appropriate for the field. Get guidance from a career coach to explore alternate ways of approaching the job search so you’re not just churning out hundreds of applications and feeling disheartened at not hearing back.

“But I had a great interview and didn’t hear back….”

First of all, do not take it personally! I completely understand the tendency to feel like a failure or to feel like the rejection is a personal blow. Feeling like the interview went well, and even getting validation during the interview and then getting a rejection can be a real blow to your self-esteem.

I once had an interviewer tell me “We have three rounds of interviews, and you’ll be getting a second interview.” This was a position I really wanted, and I spent the week excitedly awaiting the next interview invitation. When I didn’t hear from them and reached out, I got an email saying, “We decided not to move forward with your application at this point.” I was devastated, and also very confused as to what could have changed their minds.

But the reality is, most of the time, it’s not about you. Sometimes someone else is a better fit, even if you have all the qualifications and skills required for the position. Sometimes the person interviewing you vouches for you but someone else overrules them for whatever reason. Either way, it’s out of your control. You can only present yourself in the best light and follow up appropriately, nd remind yourself that a rejection from a job application is not a rejection of you as a person.

“I’m feeling burned out and I can’t apply any more…”

Take a step back and reframe the job search. Take some time to reflect on what your goals are and what you’re trying to accomplish. This might be a great time to meet with a career coach, to help you refocus and to come up with strategies of how to accomplish these goals without tearing down at your energy and your self-esteem.

Make sure you’re reaching out to the people around you and letting them know what’s going on with you. Reach out to family, friends, current coworkers, and past coworkers. Let them know you’re job searching and ask for both moral support as well as networking opportunities. Some people have a negative view of networking – you might feel like you’re being a burden or an annoyance to people for asking for help. Trust me, you are not. People like to feel helpful, and also they know that they may be coming to you for the same help at another time!

You’ve got this!

Remember, whether you’re a fresh graduate, a career changer, or someone with decades of experience, the process of job hunting can be stressful and demoralizing. It may feel like you are struggling alone, but challenge those feelings by reaching out to others and sharing what’s going on.

A career coach or counselor may be a great resource at this time to help you come up with ways to keep yourself afloat emotionally, as well as to come up with tools and resources to approach the job search with a personalized game plan. I’ve been there, and I’m going to continue to be there throughout my own career. I’m here for you, but you have to believe in yourself too: you’ve got this!

Warmly,

Sharmishtha Gupta, M.A.
Life and Career Coach

Growing Self Counseling & Coaching
Growing Self
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