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Handling New Relationship Anxiety: Advice From a Dating Coach

Handling New Relationship Anxiety: Advice From a Dating Coach

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Anxiety About a New Relationship?

Are you on pins and needles, riddled with anxiety about a new relationship? You’re not alone. For most of our dating coaching clients, the “dating” part is not that hard. You put a profile together, attend social functions with a smile on your face, and you’re going to have opportunities. Going on an actual date or three is not the biggest deal.

What IS the biggest deal, and what our dating coaching clients really struggle with, is how to manage all the anxiety, insecurity, and angst about the unknown that comes with finding someone they really like and who they’ve started seeing regularly. That’s when all the questions come up: Should I text? When should I call? When is it time for us to take down our online dating profiles? Is it okay for me to bring up certain subjects? How do I show them I like them with out seeming too needy? Or should I play it cool? Are we moving too fast? Not fast enough? Is this going somewhere? Is it okay for me to ask that? Or will that push them away? AGGGH. 

We associate this sort of obsessing about another person’s feelings for us with the horrific junior high experience of crushing. But, sadly, this life experience is not just for fifteen year olds. Grown-a** people, even senior citizens, still struggle with the angst and vulnerability of how to handle themselves in new relationships when they really, really don’t want to blow it.

New Relationship Anxiety: It’s a Thing

New relationships are incredibly anxiety provoking, and for good reason. When you really like someone but aren’t sure how they feel about you, it’s all consuming. When romantic love starts to pulse inside you, it actually changes the way you think and feel. When you feel like you cannot take your mind off of someone, and like you have way too much mental and emotional energy going into a brand new person, it’s not just you. That experience of infatuation is what nature designed to weld you to another person. It’s fierce. To have such intense feelings for a new person, and not know if your budding love is requited is the absolute worst.

This anxiety about new relationships churns up all kinds of self doubt and questions. For this reason, in addition to the usual questions about dating coaching we get, we have been fielding questions about how to handle various situations in new relationships from our dating coaching clients, in our solution sessions, and with questions coming in from listeners of our podcast, readers of our blog, and even journalists. [Read more about our empowering approach to dating coaching on DatingNews.com]

Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I’m tackling some of your new relationship questions in hopes of putting some of that new relationship anxiety to rest. We’ll discuss:

  • How to manage new relationship anxiety
  • The stages of a new relationship
  • New relationship questions
  • When to bring up topics like dating exclusively, or how you really feel
  • Things to look for that indicate red flags and / or compatibility
  • When you should move forward dating someone with a history of depression or other issues (and when to fold ’em).
  • What to do when someone you like hasn’t called or texted in a while, or gives other signals that they might not be that into you
  • How to put self-love and self-worth front and center of all new dating relationships
  • How to move a new relationship forward without “scaring someone off”

All that, and more, on the podcast.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: Resources we discussed on the show: The How Healthy is Your Relationship Quiz, and How to Cultivate Healthy Self-Love

PPS: Do YOU have questions for me? Dating questions, or otherwise? Leave them in the comments: I read every one! 🙂

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New Relationship Anxiety? Your New Relationship Questions, Answered

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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Free Advice From a Dating Coach: The Surprising Key To Finding Love

Free Advice From a Dating Coach: The Surprising Key To Finding Love

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Are you completely frustrated with online dating?

Have you been wasting time on endless messaging that goes nowhere? Are you going out with people who look good on paper, but feel “meh” in person? Do you meet promising people only to have them vanish on you? It can be hard to keep up your hope that online dating actually works, and that you are ever going to connect with the love of your life.

There is a reason why dating coaches and dating consultants are popping up online like mushrooms after a rain: Modern dating is challenging. Lots of people are hating dating, but gritting their teeth and doing it anyway in hopes of finding love.

Here is some free dating advice that could change everything for you:

Believe it or not, there is ONE thing that you can do that will give you a huge advantage over everyone else out there dating. One mindset, one strategy, that can make you addictively attractive to everyone you meet, infuse your first dates with exciting energy, and captivate the attention of your ideal partner.

Even better? The byproduct of this novel “dating” strategy is going to be a happier, healthier, more genuinely satisfied YOU — no matter what is going on in your love life. Not only will dating start to feel productive, but you’ll also enjoy it more. Read my latest article on the Match.com blog to get the unusual dating tip that will make dating fun again, and make YOU the unicorn that everyone is looking for…

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

The Secret to Finding Love Online, With Julie Spira

The Secret to Finding Love Online, With Julie Spira

Online Dating Can Be Brutal

Profiles that don’t get any attention.
Endless texting that doesn’t go anywhere.
First dates that fizzle.

It’s exhausting. And don’t think for a second that it’s just happening to you.

The truth is that it’s hard for most people to avoid all the potential pitfalls on their own. It gives everyone anxiety to put themselves out there and hear chirping crickets in response, or endure a series disappointing experiences. There is a reason why dating coaching has become a multi-million dollar industry in the last few years — it’s that NOBODY knows what they are doing when it comes to online dating. That’s why so many people are turning to dating coaching experts to help them figure it out.

As we’ve discussed on previous podcasts, for successful online dating you need to have CLARITY, INTENTION, and a darn good STRATEGY. There’s no better person to take online dating advice from my guest on today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast — the world-famous online dating coach Julie Spira.

For over 20 years, Julie Spira has been helping singles find love online. She teaches singles how to shorten their search, so they can ride into the digital sunset together. She’s the bestselling author of The Perils of Cyber-Dating: Confessions of a Hopeful Romantic Looking for Love Online. Julie is a frequent guest in the media for online and mobile dating advice. She’s appeared in over 650 stories including ABC, BBC, CBS, CNN, FOX, NBC, NPR, Good Morning America, Elle, Glamour, Men’s Health, New York Times, Washington Post, and USAToday. Follow her on Twitter, @JulieSpira, where she tweets about dating and love.

She’s here as my guest today to talk about the hot topic of online dating and mobile dating apps and the new audio book version of her bestseller.

Listen to our interview and hear Julie’s top tips about how to make your online profile irresistible, convert first texts into first dates, and connect with the love you’re looking for. Want more of Julie? Check out her website, and get her “7 Secrets to Finding Love Online” @ www.cyberdatingexpert.com.

The Secret to Finding Love Online, with Julie Spira: Listen Now

The Secret to Finding Love Online, with Julie Spira

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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