When to NOT Follow Your Feelings

When to NOT Follow Your Feelings

When to NOT Follow Your Feelings

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Not All Feelings Are Helpful

 

“Follow your feelings” is the punchline of countless self-help books, and the focus of many therapy sessions. We can spend years in therapy or counseling learning how to respect and obey our emotional guidance system, which will often lead you in the right direction. But the truth is that not all feelings are the same. Sometimes, listening to your feelings will absolutely wreck your life. How do you tell the difference between healthy and unhealthy feelings?

Healthy feelings are like your sense of smell. They provide you with information about the world, about yourselves, and other peoeple. Your feelings help you make decisions, and know when to move closer to something (or protect yourself).

At the same time, we’re all vulnerable to unhealthy feelings: Feelings that are rooted in depression, anxiety, low self esteem, trauma or impulsivity. And if we listen to those feelings we will almost invariably experience negative consequences.

But the big problem is that our feelings always feel true, no matter if they are “healthy” or “unhealthy.” It’s therefore very difficult to differentiate between feelings that we should respect and obey, or feelings that we should over-ride.

On today’s episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we’re talking all about feelings – and how you can determine which ones to listen to and which ones to let go of.

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When to NOT Follow Your Feelings

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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Advice From a Denver Life Coach: Let It Go

Advice From a Denver Life Coach: Let It Go

Advice From a Denver Life Coach: Let it Go

So… I don’t know how many times you’ve personally seen the movie Frozen. I’m up to about sixteen, but I have a son so I’m guessing those of you who have daughters may be in the triple digits. For you Elsa fans: My new favorite stress-management technique will help you channel your inner Snow Queen, Let It Go, have a laugh, and surprise and delight everyone around you in the process.

Here’s what happened: I was talking with a new acquaintance who was griping about his Stress-Of-The-Moment — He’d needed to have a sign printed for an environmental awareness event and it hadn’t been done properly, so he had to finish the job himself and then rush to get to the event on time. Finishing it involved the use of spray-adhesive that was full of chemicals, and he is committed to a scrupulously non-toxic life so this was an added stressor for him.

Practically mid-sentence, he completely surprised me. He stopped talking, crouched down and then stood again, sweeping both arms up and to the side. As he did said, “Spray adhesive.” He then crouched down and swept his arms up again as he rose saying, “Let it go.”

Of course by the time he was done with this he was smiling. And the angst was over. He finished his sign and zoomed off, tires screeching, towards his event. I wandered away from this exchange smiling too, and his technique for “letting it go” stuck with me. I thought it was so cute I wanted to share it with you. I’ve tried this several times myself and something about the combination of intention, movement and humor makes it work like a charm every time.

So next time you have some Nagging Anxiety / Irrational Fear / Angsty-Thing-You’re-Stuck-On happening:

Step 1. Do the “sweep” (crouch down and rise, sweeping your arms to the side) and say the name of the thing you’re stuck on.

Step 2. Do the “sweep” again and say “Let it Go!”

Step 3. Giggle and move on.

Want an example? “Podcast is late being published! Let it go!” (It’s working for me today.)

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