How to Create a Joyful Life

How to Create a Joyful Life

How to Create a Joyful Life

Reconnecting With Your SELF

A JOYFUL LIFE | Do you ever feel like you’ve lost touch with what really makes you happy? Or like you spend all of your time doing what you have to do, and almost never things that you want to do? Or, like so many people, do you go through your days with a vague sense of dissatisfaction — feeling like even on good days, they could somehow be better?

If so, you’re in good company. So many of our life coaching and therapy clients come to us with exactly this situation: They just want to feel happy. They want to feel good about themselves, and their lives. They want to feel connected to others, and like they have meaning and purpose in their lives.

But they currently don’t.

Too many adults, especially conscientious, hardworking, responsible and successful adults, spend so much time meeting their commitments to others they start to lose sight of who they really are, and what they like to do for fun.

It’s an easy slide: Especially as you “adult,” growing into a career with more responsibility, settle into a marriage, and start welcoming children into the world, you life starts to be more about all the other people you have depending on you than it is about you. Over time it stops feeling like “life is good” and more like, “I have so much to do.” Can you relate? (Lisa raises hand)

Many men and women spend their entire days, morning to night, doing things that they need to do, or to be of service in the lives of others — be it a boss, a business, a spouse or a kid. Even the darn dog needs something!

Who has time for fun?

Sometimes I ask a Denver therapy client or an online life coaching client, “What do you do for fun?” and I get a blank look, a stutter, or a reddening face. (This is especially true of my American clients. I do work with people all over the world for online life coaching and the Europeans with their six weeks a year of paid vacation can often tell me exactly what they do for fun!)

How to Be Happy Again

So this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success is all about YOU: and helping you get reconnected with your authentic happiness so you can experience a more joyful life. As always, I’ll be offering some insight, new ways of thinking, and actionable ideas you can start using today.

Specifically, we’ll be discussing:

  • What the current “science of happiness” has to say about what moves the happiness needle… and what does not.
  • The biggest hidden culprit getting in between you and a joyful life
  • Simple strategies to get reconnected with the real you (who IS still in there!)
  • Why you can’t buy happiness, but where to invest your resources to cultivate more joy
  • Life hacks to make more space in your life for fun and play

I hope this discussion helps YOU reconnect with your true self and what makes you most happy. You deserve it.

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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How to Create a Joyful Life

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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More Love, Happiness & Success Advice 

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Design Your Life Around What Matters Most

Design Your Life Around What Matters Most

Design Your Life Around What Matters Most

What’s Most Important To YOU?

WHAT MATTERS MOST | It’s so easy — especially for smart, determined, proactive and successful people — to spend a lot (a LOT) of time and energy pursuing goals that, at the end of the day, are not actually the most important or meaningful ones to them. Sounds crazy, but it’s true: We’re all vulnerable to absorbing messages from our families, social media, our culture, and certainly the combined efforts of many savvy marketers about what we should want. About who we should be. About what we should do with our lives.

You Are The Author of Your Own Life Story

At the end of the day, buying in to someone else’s hopes and dreams for your life can lead you down the wrong path. Even if you — by virtue of your intelligence, determination, and hard work — are successful in creating all of it and achieving the ideals that you were handed, they will still feel hollow to you. Because they were never genuinely meaningful and important to YOU. And you will have spent so much of your precious time, energy, love, and devotion to achieving goals that — at the end of the day — could have been spent creating the life and reality that was your heart’s desire.

You deserve better. You deserve to own your own goals and create a destiny that will lead to your heart overflowing with authentic happiness and gratitude. You deserve, at the very end of your precious life, to have zero regrets. You deserve to feel pride and appreciation for what you have created, and what will last long after your time on this earth has passed.

How to Design Your Life Around What Matters Most

To help you create this reality — the clear-eyed pursuit and attainment of the goals that are actually the most important and precious to YOU — I have a very special gift for you. On the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I had the honor and pleasure of interviewing a very wise and insightful man, author Chris Meyer.

Chris has a fascinating story: He spent many years as the director of a funeral home. (Stay with me here!) Over the years, he sat with many families as they planned their final goodbyes. He sat with people who were dying, and grieving families, and heard their stories — their gratitude, and their regrets, and the profound insights into what really mattered…. from the perspective of looking back on their lives.

Over and over again, he had family members say the same thing to him: Their heartfelt insights about what really mattered most to them, and the things they realized when their time was over. Chris put all of these lessons into his book: Life In 20 Lessons: What A Funeral Guy Discovered About Life, From Death.

Today, he is here to share these insights directly with YOU. He is bringing you the messages from people at the end, so that YOU can design your life with intention, clarity and love, and maintain you focus on what really matters most to you.

It’s a heartfelt gift for you, on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I sincerely hope that it helps you get clarity and self-awareness for how you’d like to design YOUR life as we enter into a new decade, together.

Now, question for you: What did you think about as you were listening to this podcast about what was genuinely most meaningful and important to you?? I hope you share your thoughts and feelings with the Growing Self community in the comments below.

With love,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: This episode is personally meaningful to ME because it’s in alignment with what is most important to me: Being of service to YOU. I have so many things planned for you on upcoming episodes of the podcast this coming year. If we’re not already connected, please join me on Instagram @drlisamariebobby, and don’t forget to subscribe to the podcast!

PPS: I’m now routinely embarrassing myself on YouTube too! Watch the video version of this episode below, or keep scrolling for the audio only version.

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Design Your Life Around What Matters Most

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits:  Rodellos Machine, “Beauty of Your Life”

Spread the Love Happiness & Success

Please Rate, Review & SHARE the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

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What’s Holding YOU Back From Success?

What’s Holding YOU Back From Success?

Feeling stuck? Here’s How to Break Free…

Most people who want more out of life seek out counseling or coaching because they are not willing to settle. They want to make a positive change in their lives, their careers, in their relationships, or in themselves, but have run out of ideas. They have tried everything that they, personally, know how to do to improve the situation… and it hasn’t worked. They feel stuck.

If you’ve been feeling this way lately, I want you to know that 1) you’re not alone, and that 2) I’m going to help you with this. Like right now.

Here’s the big secret to getting unstuck: Self awareness. What nobody realizes, before entering personal growth work, is that “the problem” they’ve been trying to fix is not actually what needs their attention. Focusing on the circumstance, or the situation, is not going to move the needle for you. The answer is not outside. It’s inside. Only when you identify the unconscious, inner obstacles that have been getting in your way will you start to move meaningfully forward.

Until that happens, you’ll spin. (And seethe. And beat yourself up. And get increasingly frustrated.)

As frustrating and uncomfortable as this stuck place is, can be it’s really an amazing opportunity in disguise. Why? Because it’s often feeling ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH STUCK-NESS that launches people into the life-changing journey of growth and soul-expansion that would not have been possible otherwise.

Often, this journey carries people through places inside themselves that they’d never even imagined existed. As people move towards empowerment, towards designing their lives, and towards “creating change” they often discover that the path is one of growth. Of personal evolution. Of compassion. Of self actualization. Sometimes, even one of healing.

This is a beautiful experience and one I believe passionately that everyone deserves. So on this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m actually going to give you a “Master Class” of the main ideas that all our counseling and coaching clients arrive upon, eventually: The path to creating change outside yourself starts from within. Only by uncovering the inner, hidden obstacles that have been holding you back will you be able to move forward and create meaningful and lasting change in your life, your career, your relationships… and in yourself.

Self awareness is the first step of personal transformation. Only when you understand yourself, and the unconscious obstacles you’ve been wrestling with, can you make the changes that will actually help you break free.

How to Cultivate Self Awareness:

Step 1: Listen to the podcast to learn about the “four domains of stuck-ness” that people often get trapped by. See which resonates with you!

Step 2: Click here to take the “What’s Holding You Back” quiz to find out which of these domains is the most powerful in your life.

Step 3: Then use your newfound self-awareness to take positive, and most importantly effective, action.

Step 4: Share your experiences in the comments. We all learn and grow from our connections with each other, after all… (I’ll even go first).

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

 

What's Holding YOU Back?

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Subscribe to the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast on iTunes & Stitcher. Don’t forget to rate and review if you enjoy the Podcast!

Music Credits: Sallie Ford, “Record on Repeat”

The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast is Now on Stitcher!

Four Secrets of Genuinely Happy People

Four Secrets of Genuinely Happy People

“I Just Want To Be Happy.”

People seek Life Coaching for lots of reasons: To achieve important goals, make positive changes, get a leg up on their career, or improve their relationships — all good things. But WHY do they want to achieve at a higher level, create success, or have more fulfilling relationships?

Because they believe that doing so will make them happy. “I just want to be happy” is the basic wish of everyone.

But here’s the deal: Both you and I know lots of people who seem to have it all — and are still unhappy. No matter what goals they achieve, what outward measures of success they attain, or fun things they do, it never touches them on the inside. So they keep trudging along, hoping that the next mountain they climb will be the “real one” that will actually help them feel differently: Satisfied. Optimistic. Joyful. Content. Grateful. Peaceful. Happy.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? If so, you may have gotten stuck on the “Hedonic Treadmill” too. That’s the technical term for the process of climbing, and trying, and doing, and achieving all the things that you think will make you happy… only to find out that they are hollow. It’s like climbing up a mountain thinking, “When I buy this house or have this job then I’ll really be happy” only to find that after the initial excitement wears off the happiness fades, and you start looking for the next “cure.”

The truth is that authentic happiness has very little (if anything) to do with your external circumstances. Finding and keeping authentic happiness in your life has everything to do with learning a set of “Happiness Skills” that allow you to be happy from the inside out — no matter what is going on around you.

Genuinely happy people have learned “Happiness Skills,” and use them, daily, to stay in a good place.

What are Happiness Skills?

Happiness Skills involve four different components:

1) Having a Happy Mind: In order to be truly happy you must learn how to get control over what is happening in your head. Most people are driven by unhelpful, unhappy thoughts without even being aware of it. Having these thoughts run rampant is at the core of serious problems including By learning how to identify unhelpful, unproductive thinking styles and replace them with the kinds of thoughts that lead to positive emotions, you can shift your mood very reliably. The trick is learning how.

Another huge component of having a healthy mind is learning how to stay in the present. “Mental Time Traveling” is at the core of much of the unhappiness that people struggle with. By learning practical mindfulness skills that you can use in your daily life, you can learn how to manage feelings of anxiety, apprehension, judgment and worry that get in the way of your happiness.

2) Having a Happy Body: Most people who struggle to be happy don’t realize that they are often engaged in behaviors that are sabotaging their happiness. When you are creating an internal, chemical state that is dragging you into anxiety or depression it is very difficult to feel joyful – no matter how hard you work at it.

There are simple changes you can make that will help you feel happier on a biological level. But, as you know, knowing what to change is only half of the battle. Changing your habits for good can be challenging — until you learn how. Being able to maintain a happy lifestyle is one of the key secrets of happy people.

3) Having a Happy Heart: How to you manage your emotions? Feelings are a natural, normal part of life. It’s what we do with those feelings that creates the difference between struggling emotionally, or feeling at peace. For example, authentically happy people are much more tolerant of their feelings. They know how to take care of themselves compassionately rather than beating themselves up for having feelings, or worse, frantically trying to avoid their feelings. When you learn how to have a good relationship with your feelings, how to let go of unproductive feelings, and how to take guidance from your wise-mind emotions, you can create a compassionate life.

4) Having a Happy Life: Having a Happy Life is more than just about not feeling bad. When you have a Happy Life you are managing your thoughts, taking care of yourself, and managing your emotions in healthy ways — but also living a values-based life that creates feelings of authentic happiness and joy. We all have to make decisions about where we spend our time and energy. Getting in touch with your values and learning where to apply your focus makes all the difference between having an authentically joyful life and one that you’re chronically dissatisfied with.

Happiness is Learned

Learning how to be happy is simply a matter of learning and practicing “Happiness Skills” — not luck or magic — even though it seems that way. Some people were lucky enough to learn how to be happy from their parents, or have had the good fortune and financial resources to get involved in the luxury of good therapy or life coaching. But not everyone gets to do that.

For the last two years I’ve been working very hard to put together an inexpensive online program that can teach you all the happiness skills you need to feel more joyful and more content. It’s my “Happiness Class.” You can take the first class for free right now, and start practicing the foundational skill from which all lasting happiness flows: Learning how to get control over what is happening in your mind.  Click here to learn more about the Happiness Class.

Sign up and watch the class for free right now. (I need your email address so I can send you the worksheet you’ll need to complete the class). I’m so excited to share this knowledge with you. This one little idea you’re about to learn has helped countless of my private clients begin to cultivate authentic happiness in their lives — I know it will help you too.

All the best,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Foundations of Happiness

The Pursuit of Happiness: Nomadic Souls

The Pursuit of Happiness: Nomadic Souls

There Are Many Paths to Happiness

SO many of our therapy or life coaching clients come to us with one core wish: To be happy. No matter what their current concerns, obstacles, or challenges, the hope of happiness is always the shining star that pulls them forward into life coaching. But sometimes it can be hard to know what being happy actually means. Believe it or not, people can lose touch with the things that make them happy over time.

Good Life Coaching is really about reconnecting you to your core values, and then helping you make them manifest in your life. This is because finding (and keeping) Authentic Happiness is largely tied to understanding your personality and your values. An authentically happy life for someone who finds value in quiet, day-to-day satisfactions of tending to home and hearth could make another person wither in boredom. Conversely, the happy life of a person who values novelty and adventure would scare a security-minded person to death. Happiness does not mean the same thing to everyone.

What Does Authentic Happiness Mean To YOU?

Learning about other people who have followed their heartfelt values into genuinely happy lives can inspire us to do the same. The stories of others can light a lamp on our own path, and our own possibilities. Even if your values may be different, knowing that other people have taken bold action to create a meaning and joy can light a spark of inspiration for you to do some deep reflecting on what makes you happy — and how you might take action to make big changes too.

On this edition of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m talking to a couple of Nomadic Souls who have discovered that for them, happiness is very much a journey rather than a destination. Listen to my interview with full-time travelers Kimberly Travaglino (Founder of fulltimefamilies.com) and Clementine Bakstein about how they and their families found happiness, meaning, and connection by following their values down the never-ending road.

What do you think about their story? Is there something that you’ve been dreaming about doing too? What’s on your “bucket list?” Share with us in the comments!

Pursuit of Happiness – Nomadic Souls. Listen Now:

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