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What’s Holding YOU Back From Success?

What’s Holding YOU Back From Success?

Feeling stuck? Here’s How to Break Free…

Most people who want more out of life seek out counseling or coaching because they are not willing to settle. They want to make a positive change in their lives, their careers, in their relationships, or in themselves, but have run out of ideas. They have tried everything that they, personally, know how to do to improve the situation… and it hasn’t worked. They feel stuck.

If you’ve been feeling this way lately, I want you to know that 1) you’re not alone, and that 2) I’m going to help you with this. Like right now.

Here’s the big secret to getting unstuck: Self awareness. What nobody realizes, before entering personal growth work, is that “the problem” they’ve been trying to fix is not actually what needs their attention. Focusing on the circumstance, or the situation, is not going to move the needle for you. The answer is not outside. It’s inside. Only when you identify the unconscious, inner obstacles that have been getting in your way will you start to move meaningfully forward.

Until that happens, you’ll spin. (And seethe. And beat yourself up. And get increasingly frustrated.)

As frustrating and uncomfortable as this stuck place is, can be it’s really an amazing opportunity in disguise. Why? Because it’s often feeling ABSOLUTELY FED UP WITH STUCK-NESS that launches people into the life-changing journey of growth and soul-expansion that would not have been possible otherwise.

Often, this journey carries people through places inside themselves that they’d never even imagined existed. As people move towards empowerment, towards designing their lives, and towards “creating change” they often discover that the path is one of growth. Of personal evolution. Of compassion. Of self actualization. Sometimes, even one of healing.

This is a beautiful experience and one I believe passionately that everyone deserves. So on this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m actually going to give you a “Master Class” of the main ideas that all our counseling and coaching clients arrive upon, eventually: The path to creating change outside yourself starts from within. Only by uncovering the inner, hidden obstacles that have been holding you back will you be able to move forward and create meaningful and lasting change in your life, your career, your relationships… and in yourself.

Self awareness is the first step of personal transformation. Only when you understand yourself, and the unconscious obstacles you’ve been wrestling with, can you make the changes that will actually help you break free.

How to Cultivate Self Awareness:

Step 1: Listen to the podcast to learn about the “four domains of stuck-ness” that people often get trapped by. See which resonates with you!

Step 2: Click here to take the “What’s Holding You Back” quiz to find out which of these domains is the most powerful in your life.

Step 3: Then use your newfound self-awareness to take positive, and most importantly effective, action.

Step 4: Share your experiences in the comments. We all learn and grow from our connections with each other, after all… (I’ll even go first).

xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

www.growingself.com

 

What's Holding YOU Back?

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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Music Credits: Sallie Ford, “Record on Repeat”

The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast is Now on Stitcher!

Four Secrets of Genuinely Happy People

Four Secrets of Genuinely Happy People

“I Just Want To Be Happy.”

People seek Life Coaching for lots of reasons: To achieve important goals, make positive changes, get a leg up on their career, or improve their relationships — all good things. But WHY do they want to achieve at a higher level, create success, or have more fulfilling relationships?

Because they believe that doing so will make them happy. “I just want to be happy” is the basic wish of everyone.

But here’s the deal: Both you and I know lots of people who seem to have it all — and are still unhappy. No matter what goals they achieve, what outward measures of success they attain, or fun things they do, it never touches them on the inside. So they keep trudging along, hoping that the next mountain they climb will be the “real one” that will actually help them feel differently: Satisfied. Optimistic. Joyful. Content. Grateful. Peaceful. Happy.

Does any of this sound familiar to you? If so, you may have gotten stuck on the “Hedonic Treadmill” too. That’s the technical term for the process of climbing, and trying, and doing, and achieving all the things that you think will make you happy… only to find out that they are hollow. It’s like climbing up a mountain thinking, “When I buy this house or have this job then I’ll really be happy” only to find that after the initial excitement wears off the happiness fades, and you start looking for the next “cure.”

The truth is that authentic happiness has very little (if anything) to do with your external circumstances. Finding and keeping authentic happiness in your life has everything to do with learning a set of “Happiness Skills” that allow you to be happy from the inside out — no matter what is going on around you.

Genuinely happy people have learned “Happiness Skills,” and use them, daily, to stay in a good place.

What are Happiness Skills?

Happiness Skills involve four different components:

1) Having a Happy Mind: In order to be truly happy you must learn how to get control over what is happening in your head. Most people are driven by unhelpful, unhappy thoughts without even being aware of it. Having these thoughts run rampant is at the core of serious problems including By learning how to identify unhelpful, unproductive thinking styles and replace them with the kinds of thoughts that lead to positive emotions, you can shift your mood very reliably. The trick is learning how.

Another huge component of having a healthy mind is learning how to stay in the present. “Mental Time Traveling” is at the core of much of the unhappiness that people struggle with. By learning practical mindfulness skills that you can use in your daily life, you can learn how to manage feelings of anxiety, apprehension, judgment and worry that get in the way of your happiness.

2) Having a Happy Body: Most people who struggle to be happy don’t realize that they are often engaged in behaviors that are sabotaging their happiness. When you are creating an internal, chemical state that is dragging you into anxiety or depression it is very difficult to feel joyful – no matter how hard you work at it.

There are simple changes you can make that will help you feel happier on a biological level. But, as you know, knowing what to change is only half of the battle. Changing your habits for good can be challenging — until you learn how. Being able to maintain a happy lifestyle is one of the key secrets of happy people.

3) Having a Happy Heart: How to you manage your emotions? Feelings are a natural, normal part of life. It’s what we do with those feelings that creates the difference between struggling emotionally, or feeling at peace. For example, authentically happy people are much more tolerant of their feelings. They know how to take care of themselves compassionately rather than beating themselves up for having feelings, or worse, frantically trying to avoid their feelings. When you learn how to have a good relationship with your feelings, how to let go of unproductive feelings, and how to take guidance from your wise-mind emotions, you can create a compassionate life.

4) Having a Happy Life: Having a Happy Life is more than just about not feeling bad. When you have a Happy Life you are managing your thoughts, taking care of yourself, and managing your emotions in healthy ways — but also living a values-based life that creates feelings of authentic happiness and joy. We all have to make decisions about where we spend our time and energy. Getting in touch with your values and learning where to apply your focus makes all the difference between having an authentically joyful life and one that you’re chronically dissatisfied with.

Happiness is Learned

Learning how to be happy is simply a matter of learning and practicing “Happiness Skills” — not luck or magic — even though it seems that way. Some people were lucky enough to learn how to be happy from their parents, or have had the good fortune and financial resources to get involved in the luxury of good therapy or life coaching. But not everyone gets to do that.

For the last two years I’ve been working very hard to put together an inexpensive online program that can teach you all the happiness skills you need to feel more joyful and more content. It’s my “Happiness Class.” You can take the first class for free right now, and start practicing the foundational skill from which all lasting happiness flows: Learning how to get control over what is happening in your mind.  Click here to learn more about the Happiness Class.

Sign up and watch the class for free right now. (I need your email address so I can send you the worksheet you’ll need to complete the class). I’m so excited to share this knowledge with you. This one little idea you’re about to learn has helped countless of my private clients begin to cultivate authentic happiness in their lives — I know it will help you too.

All the best,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Foundations of Happiness

The Pursuit of Happiness: Nomadic Souls

The Pursuit of Happiness: Nomadic Souls

There Are Many Paths to Happiness

SO many of our therapy or life coaching clients come to us with one core wish: To be happy. No matter what their current concerns, obstacles, or challenges, the hope of happiness is always the shining star that pulls them forward into life coaching. But sometimes it can be hard to know what being happy actually means. Believe it or not, people can lose touch with the things that make them happy over time.

Good Life Coaching is really about reconnecting you to your core values, and then helping you make them manifest in your life. This is because finding (and keeping) Authentic Happiness is largely tied to understanding your personality and your values. An authentically happy life for someone who finds value in quiet, day-to-day satisfactions of tending to home and hearth could make another person wither in boredom. Conversely, the happy life of a person who values novelty and adventure would scare a security-minded person to death. Happiness does not mean the same thing to everyone.

What Does Authentic Happiness Mean To YOU?

Learning about other people who have followed their heartfelt values into genuinely happy lives can inspire us to do the same. The stories of others can light a lamp on our own path, and our own possibilities. Even if your values may be different, knowing that other people have taken bold action to create a meaning and joy can light a spark of inspiration for you to do some deep reflecting on what makes you happy — and how you might take action to make big changes too.

On this edition of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m talking to a couple of Nomadic Souls who have discovered that for them, happiness is very much a journey rather than a destination. Listen to my interview with full-time travelers Kimberly Travaglino (Founder of fulltimefamilies.com) and Clementine Bakstein about how they and their families found happiness, meaning, and connection by following their values down the never-ending road.

What do you think about their story? Is there something that you’ve been dreaming about doing too? What’s on your “bucket list?” Share with us in the comments!

Pursuit of Happiness – Nomadic Souls. Listen Now:

Growing Self Counseling & Coaching
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