Coronavirus & Career: How We Make This Work — Advice From a Career Coach

Coronavirus & Career: How We Make This Work — Advice From a Career Coach

Coronavirus & Career: How We Make This Work — Advice From a Career Coach

Job Loss? Worried About Your Career? Working From Home? 

ADVICE FROM A CAREER COACH | In addition to everything else in your life being upended by the coronavirus pandemic, you probably have a slew of new “coronavirus career anxieties” in addition to the usual coronavirus anxiety that’s buzzing inside everyone right now.

Many people are very worried about their career future right now. Many jobs have been lost to coronavirus, and with the threat of recession, there may be more layoffs to come. (Read: Coping With a Layoff) For those among us lucky enough to have stable employment, we now figure out how to maintain our professionalism via online video meetings, work from home while balancing childcare, homeschooling and more.

In times like these it’s absolutely normal to be worried about work, and help is here.

Advice From a Career Coach

I’ve reached out to two of my colleagues here at Growing Self: Therapist and career coach Markie Keelan, M.A., LPC, and resume writer and interview coach extraordinaire Allison Aranda. 

Markie and Allison have been gracious enough to share their career advice around:

  • What to do if you lost your job
  • How to get a bridge job right now if you need one
  • How to use this time to develop yourself professionally and make long term career plans
  • How to protect your long-term career goals from coronavirus, if they’re getting derailed right now
  • Managing anxiety about your career
  • Best practices when working from home for online video meetings
  • Balancing work and life when you’re working from home
  • And more!

 

Join Markie, Allison and I for some timely coronavirus career advice on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. 

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, Markie Keelan & Allison Aranda

PS: One of the resources we mentioned to help you stay in a good place emotionally during all this is our online coronavirus support group. Here’s the link, if you’re interested.

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Protect Your Career From Coronavirus: Advice From a Career Coach

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: Mr. & Mrs. Smith, “Gravy Train”

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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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Real Help, To Move You Forward

 

Everyone experiences challenges, but only some people recognize these moments as opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

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3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

Secrets to Career Success

Meet Mollie, she is a busy mid-career professional who holds a high-stress position with a large company and is struggling to define her professional identity and feel secure in her career decisions. 

She wishes she woke up feeling fulfilled and energized to tackle her goals, but there’s just one problem – she’s not entirely sure what her goals are for her future. Because of that, Mollie is often consumed by negative thoughts and worries about the uncertainty of her indecisions. She is lacking presence in her relationships and with herself and feels stuck sitting at hesitation station. 

What she really wants is to gain clarity and confidence so that she can move forward, let go of the past, and find more meaning along her career path, instead of making excuses. Ultimately Mollie wants to live her life to the fullest, get unstuck for good, and be happy and successful in her work-life.

You might be able to relate to ALL or parts of Mollie’s experience. You are not alone. Mollie took action by making the decision to invest in a career coach to help her gain clarity, confidence, and direction she needed to get unstuck and move forward. As a career coach, I wanted to share with you what I share with my career coaching clients, here are my top 3 Essential Steps to Making Informed Career Decisions!

1. Become Self-Aware

Searching for the right career path requires establishing a career plan. A critical part of the career planning process is becoming self-aware, before even identifying career options and making important career decisions. Finding a path for your career that is meaningful and satisfying requires self-assessment to gain the self-awareness you’ll need to make informed career decisions. This means exploring your true interests and passions, your values and personality preferences, as well as your strengths and transferable skills. 

WHO Before WHAT

Gaining clarity about WHO you are will naturally lead you in the right direction towards WHAT it is that you want to do. This holds true whether you are a recent graduate and just launching your career or if you are an early, mid or late-career professional who is looking for greater satisfaction in your current role or making a career change. There are several other factors that need to be taken into consideration when it comes to making important career decisions – Such as, what is your ideal work environment, what level of responsibility do you want and desire, and what are your salary requirements and preferences?

2. Career Planning 

Career planning helps you develop the “picture of your ideal job”. By exploring first WHO you are, followed by researching possible career and work options that fit your personality, you will be better equipped to consider economic realities and make important career decisions in a thoughtful way. 

The first step of career planning that will most certainly inform your career decisions, is to ask yourself a few questions that probably don’t initially seem very career-focused. By answering these 3 seemly simple questions, you will have more self-knowledge about your interests.

  • In your free time, what do you like to do
  • What are your hobbies? You may not have realized it until now, but many hobbies are also industries. Therefore, if you identify a favorite hobby, you may also have identified a favorite field. This applies whether you are just starting out or itching for a change. 
  • When friends come to you for help with problems or questions, what are the kinds of problems or questions for which they seek your advice?

Create The Life You Envision

It is possible to transform your interests into job targets. This is a process that I coach my career coaching clients through to help them create the kind of life that they envision for themselves. Especially those who feel like they are stuck in a rut and want to do something that feels more like they are truly making a difference at the end of the day. The focus is on both self-understanding and gaining knowledge about the job market. 

The second key step of the career planning process is to identify your strengths and transferable skills. What makes a transferable skill a strength is when you identify the skill as something you are highly proficient in and that you enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it, and it’s not important to you, then it’s not a true strength. 

What Are Transferable Skills? 

They are the basic building blocks of a job that are not rooted in any particular field or content. A transferable skill is a developed aptitude or ability and is considered a functional skill. I help my clients identify their top 5 transferable skills through a combination of formal and informal assessments. This brings clarity, validation, and confidence to their strengths and ability to move to the next steps of career goal setting.

3. Develop An Action Plan

The third step is to know that career decision-making is a process that takes time. It involves retrieving comparative information about career options, testing assumptions and drawing conclusions, and looking at the pros and cons of the different job targets that have been identified. And finally, to develop a comprehensive action plan that showcases both your strengths and accomplishments so that you are following a career path that is meaningful and satisfying, and supports your lifestyle.

Set Yourself Up For Success

If you truly want to get a head start in your career, whether you are just starting out or making a significant career change, first you have to be willing to explore who you are on a deeper level. What you are choosing to do for a living is not just a job that provides a paycheck, it is something that inspires you and motivates you to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life

The career planning and decision-making process is not a fast-track to success; however, if you take the time to gain clarity about your requirements and preferences you will set yourself up for long-term success, not just short-term gratification. 

And lastly, feeling confident in the decisions you make about your life and your future is empowering. When you feel empowered it shows in your actions and success is accelerated along your chosen career path because you are more focused, strategic, and values-driven. 

Once Mollie was able to identify and acknowledge her true strengths and values, her confidence in herself grew and her motivation for creating positive change in her life became unstoppable. She began to advocate for herself more at work and received a promotion that provided her with the level of responsibility and support that she desired. She also gained greater clarity about the skill areas that she wants to further develop and as a result, she created a short term and long-term plan for her success.

Mollie is happy in her new role and trusts that her career planning will keep her from feeling stuck. She has a renewed sense of purpose at work that has positively influenced other important areas of her life. 

You can find this level of support and success in your own career journey!

I believe in you and your success,
Teena Evert, M.A., LMFT, CCTC, CCC, GCDF, CDBS

 

Teena Evert M.A., LMFT, CCTC, CCC, GCDF, CDBS is a certified career coach, conversational intelligence coach, and licensed therapist who specializes in helping her clients create greater clarity, confidence, happiness, and success in their life and career. If you are stuck, recently graduated, dreaming of a career change and don’t know where to start, in need of interview preparation or a resume and personal branding critique, she can help.

Let’s  Talk

Related Post by Teena!

3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

Do you feel like you’re waiting on success in your career? Do you want to learn more about yourself and the right career path for you? Are you interested in taking that “next step” whatever it might be? On the Love, Happiness and Success blog – Career Coach, Teena Evert shares her 3 top tips for making informed career decisions.

Do What You Love

Do What You Love

How to create a career that’s in alignment with who you are, what you enjoy, and what you’re good at, (AND that earns you a living) on this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

A Self-Care Plan to Cultivate Calm

A Self-Care Plan to Cultivate Calm

You plan your day, meetings, outings, grocery list, and events – but are you taking the time to plan your self-care? We are all busy, but forgetting to take care of yourself is a sure-fire way to burnout and neglect your personal health. Here is a self-care checklist from a therapist and life coach who understands wanting to “balance it all.”

What is Self Love?

What is Self Love?

What is self-love? What is the importance of self-love? Important questions, because self-love is the key to personal empowerment. Learn how to practice radical self-love and watch the transformation in your life and relationships.

The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

The Benefits of Emotional Intelligence

Understand Others, Understand Yourself

EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE: How well do you understand other people? How well do you understand yourself? Do you know how to handle emotionally sensitive moments? Do you manage your feelings in appropriate, healthy ways when you’re feeling stressed or upset? Is it easy for you to connect with others? Do you frequently find yourself in conflict with others? Or do you sometimes have experiences with people that surprise or frustrate you?

All of the above are emotional intelligence questions. What is emotional intelligence? It’s the ability to be self-aware about what you’re feeling, manage your emotions in a healthy way, and have empathy and sensitivity for how other people are feeling… and THEN use all of that information, with intention, in your interactions with others.

The Importance of Emotional Intelligence

Our culture can gloss right over feelings, or minimize their significance when it comes to personal and professional success. But research into emotional intelligence by Daniel Goldman (and echoed by the Harvard School of Business, no less) shows that it accounts for over 90% of the difference in what leads to success or failure in a wide variety of professional endeavors. Emotional intelligence has also been found to be among the most significant predictors of job performance.

But more importantly, emotional intelligence (or the lack thereof) can absolutely make or break your personal relationships.

Emotional intelligence skills are critically important: People who are lower in emotional intelligence will experience frustration and disconnection in their relationships, will feel less motivated and optimistic, and will also generally struggle to get ahead at work — even if they’re incredibly talented.

Emotional Intelligence Self Assessment — Is It Possible?

As critical as emotional intelligence skills are, it can be very difficult to determine how your own EI skills rate. Emotional intelligence is one of those things where you don’t know what you don’t know. It can be very difficult to assess yourself for emotional intelligence. Most people (according to some research, over 95%) believe that they are self-aware and emotionally attuned to others… when they actually struggle significantly in this area. In fact, many people have very little insight into how others are experiencing them.

Signs of deficits in emotional intelligence generally show up as negative results in your relationships, how you feel, and / or your career.

Emotional Intelligence Podcast

Because emotional intelligence skills really are that important, I decided to devote an entire episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to helping you understand emotional intelligence and how to improve emotional intelligence. In order to make this as meaningful and genuinely helpful as possible, I recruited two of my colleagues: Meagan Terry, M.A., LMFT, and Linda Pounds, M.A., LMFT, both of whom specialize in emotional intelligence assessment and emotional intelligence coaching.

Together, we discussed:

  • Signs of low emotional intelligence
  • Consequences of low emotional intelligence
  • Why some people have higher emotional intelligence than others
  • Emotional intelligence and empathy
  • Why self-awareness is the key first step to developing emotional intelligence
  • How to improve emotional intelligence
  • How to tell if you’re emotionally intelligent or not
  • Different emotional intelligence quizzes and assessment strategies
  • Specific exercises to improve emotional intelligence.

Building Emotional Intelligence

If you are curious to learn more about your own emotional intelligence, and get some tips for how to increase it (or are in a personal or professional relationship with someone who could benefit from learning more) there is so. much. here. We hope that all this information about emotional intelligence and how to develop it supports you and those you care for on your journey of growth!

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, Linda Pounds, M.A., LMFT, and Meagan Terry, M.A., LMFT

 

 

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Cultivating Emotional Intelligence

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: John Ball, “I Feel It”

Enjoy This Episode?

Please Rate, Review and Share The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Linda Pounds, M.A, LMFT is a Licensed Marriage/Family Therapist (LMFT) and Certified Emotional Intelligence Leadership Coach at Growing Self. She works with individuals and couples who face the challenge of merging their work lives with personal lives and the impact each has on the other. Her work with leaders and leadership teams includes Emotional Intelligence (EI) Coaching and assessments, leading to a positive impact on individuals and organizations.

THE RELATIONSHIP SPECIALIST | Meagan Terry, M.A., LMFT specializes in helping her clients create happy, healthy, joyful relationships — both personally and professionally. She’s an expert marriage counselor, emotional intelligence coach, premarital counselor, and dating coach.

More Love, Happiness and Success Advice on the Blog

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Do What You Love

Do What You Love

Do What You Love

Create a Career That’s In Alignment With YOU.

So many of our career coaching clients come to us because they feel stuck. S T U C K.

Sometimes they’re stuck in paralysis from not knowing which career move to make. Some (many, actually) of our clients feel stuck in a career that they don’t really enjoy, but that is stable and fairly well-paying. They want to make a change but don’t know how to pivot in their career without creating chaos in their lives.

Still other of our career coaching clients are feeling stuck in work-related circumstances, like being in a toxic work environment or having difficult relationships with co-workers. They don’t necessarily want to quit their job, but they need to make a change. 

Can you relate? Feeling stuck with regards to your career can feel very stressful. Having clarity and direction about your next move is huge. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m speaking with my colleague, career development coach Teena Evert.

She and I met over tea to talk about new ways of thinking and the types of questions to ask yourself that will help you get unstuck, and create a career that’s in alignment with who you are.

Every Life Experience is Valuable

One of the things Teena and I discussed is how common it is for people to fear making a “mistake” with regards to their career. This type of Success-or-Failure thinking can create additional stress and pressure on your career decisions, and contribute to career-related paralysis. Teena has some great perspective to help you find valuable, meaningful life and work-related experience in all of your efforts, and avoid falling into failure mindset — and cultivate a growth mindset instead.

Launching a Career, With Confidence 

Many people reach out for career coaching when they’re just starting out in their career. Perhaps they’ve just graduated from college and are figuring out what to do with their degree… or finding that their true interest is not what they went to school for. Teena has some excellent advice for helping people just starting out get clear about who they are, and getting clarity about what type of career will be meaningful and enjoyable… as well as lucrative.

Intentional, Thoughtful Career Transitions

So often, working professionals launch careers that they develop for years… only to find out that what they’re doing for a living is not truly congruent with who they are. Sometimes, people start careers out of what’s available, or what’s stable, or what’s expected of them rather than through a thoughtful self-discovery process. Over the years, as they become more aware of who they are and what they’re really about, making career changes are an important part of their personal growth.

Teena has some great advice to help you consider who you are at the most fundamental level, and how to use self-awareness as the key tool to creating a career in alignment with your core self.

Strategic Skills For Career Advancement

Another thing we discussed was some of the ongoing personal growth work that everyone needs to do as their careers develop. As your position of responsibility grows, it becomes necessary to step up your game on every level. Learning how to be more productive and organized, increasing your emotional intelligence skills, figuring out how to create effective relationships (even with difficult coworkers), figuring out how to get ahead at work, and learning how to lead are all part of the ongoing personal growth process that a genuinely satisfying career involves.

Teena shares some great tips for how to continue to develop yourself both personally and professionally, so that you continue to operate at the fullest level of your potential as your life and career evolves.

Creating a LIFE — Not Just a Career

While we do spend a lot of time in our professional roles, a truly meaningful and satisfying career needs to fit in with your entire life. Teena shares her perspective around how to create a healthy work / life balance, how to manage your job so that it doesn’t create issues in your relationships, and how to consider your professional success as just one aspect of your entire life creation.

Teena is also a master in creating a sustainable life: She talks about some of the stress management skills about boundary-setting skills that she shares with her career coaching and life coaching clients, to help them stay in a good place physically, mentally and emotionally — even when they have a lot going on.

Let’s Talk About YOU, and Your Career Success

Pour your self your own cup of tea and join Teena and I as we discuss how to create a career that is in alignment with your authentic self, how to break through career-related paralysis, and how to manage the anxiety that starts to bubble up when you think about making big changes in your life. 

Have you submitted a career-related question for the podcast lately? I took this opportunity to ask Teena some of your career questions, so be sure to listen and hear her answers!

Your partners in growth, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby + Teena Evert, M.A., LMFT, LAC, CDC

PS: If YOU have questions for the blog or podcast, I’m listening!  Submit your question in the comments, or though this confidential form. xoxo, LMB

 

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Do What You L O V E — How To Create a Career That's in Alignment With Your True Self

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: Brick Fields, “Gotta Sing Your Song”

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Please Review, Subscribe To, and Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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Teena Evert is a life and a career coach who specializes in helping her clients get clarity in their careers — and within themselves — so that they can create lives, relationships and careers that are authentically joyful and congruent with their highest and best. If you’re looking to feel happier, less stressed, and succeed at the highest level of your potential (both personally and professionally) Teena can help.

Let’s  Talk

More Career Advice on The Podcast and Blog

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Office Romance Pros and Cons

Office Romance Pros and Cons

Office Romance Pros and Cons

Is Dating a Coworker a Bad Idea?

Click here for the full article by journalist Annie Taylor on the pros and cons of office romance.

This interview with Annie was a fun overview of the pros and cons of an office romance. I’m so glad she’s raising awareness around this important issue: if you’re considering getting romantically involved with a coworker there is a lot to consider! Here at Growing Self, we do quite a bit of career coaching, as well as dating coaching. Sometimes career coaching and dating coaching converge, as our clients grapple with the pros and cons of an office romance.

Are you developing feelings for a coworker? We spend so much time at work that it’s only natural to have our workplaces be one of the primary points of contact for meeting new people. If you’re single, chances are that sooner or later you might find yourself with a crush on a coworker. While office romances are not uncommon, relationships that start at work can present unique challenges and, frankly, hazards. “Fishing in the company pond” can be risky, both personally and professionally. If you are considering getting involved romantically with a coworker, here are some things to consider…

Dating in the Workplace: Pros and Cons

Although office romance can be fraught with challenges, these relationships do have advantages as well.

Pros of dating in the workplace:

Opportunity: Modern dating can feel like an endless parade of possible partners, all a swipe or scroll away. [Check out “The New Rules for Dating”]. For many singles, constantly vetting new people, engaging in text-based banter, and going out on dates to nowhere gets really old, really fast. Many people start to feel discouraged and overwhelmed by the prospect of finding “The One” through online dating or chatting up random strangers.

At work, however, you’re afforded with natural opportunities to meet new people organically and spend time with them on neutral ground before potentially moving further into friendship or romance. You’re also more likely to come into contact with people you already have similarities with in terms of education, interests, and shared life experiences. All these things make it easier to have natural conversations that generally feel much less pressured and fraught than awkward first dates.

Starting As Friends: Another upside to meeting new people on the job is the opportunity to develop a friendly relationship that starts slowly and develops over time. We know from research into couples and family therapy that the strongest, most enduring romantic relationships are ones built on a solid foundation of friendship and respect. Unlike starting a relationship with immediate romantic intentions, an office romance often blooms after months or even years of getting to know each other first as coworkers, and then as friends. This foundation can be an asset to your relationship if you become long-term partners.

Getting to Know Character: Perhaps most importantly, when you get to know people on the job, you usually have many opportunities to observe them in different — often stressful — situations. When you work with people you have a front row seat for how they manage stress, how they communicate, their level of emotional intelligence, how they handle challenging circumstances, whether they are courageous or avoidant, whether or not they follow through with things, how they are regarded by others, how they manage their time and priorities, whether they generally have their crap together, and much more.

This is in contrast to typical dating relationships where people tend to be on best behavior for the first weeks or months of an early romance, sometimes concealing or downplaying more difficult aspects of their character in order to be as attractive as possible. In these situations, couples often find themselves having to work through differences and disappointments as they become more genuine and authentic with each other.

Character Is Revealed Over Time, and in the way people handle themselves under stressful or challenging conditions. If you get romantically involved with a co-worker it’s generally after a significant period of time when you’ve been able to get to know them from the sidelines, and have gotten a sense of who they are and how they handle themselves before moving into a romantic relationship. This too can be a significant advantage to a positive future relationship, as well as a great opportunity to know ahead of time whether you may have fundamental compatibility issues or mismatched values (and avoid getting involved altogether).

Cons of dating in the workplace:

While dating a coworker can have some advantages, there are also many challenges and risks that you don’t have if you resist mixing the personal with the professional.

The Office Romance Dumpster Fire — Misunderstandings, Affairs and… Sexual Harassment: When office romances go wrong, they can go spectacularly wrong and with severe consequences to all involved.

Having an Affair With a Coworker

First of all, the most common place for people to become entangled in an affair or infidelity situation that can destroy a marriage and break apart a family is through an office romance. Why? It’s very common to develop a crush on a coworker, even if you’re married, or your coworker is married, or otherwise involved. Normal people in good relationships can develop transient attractions for other people — it happens all the time. [More on this, check out “What to Do if You’re Married With a Crush On Someone Else.]

However, if people don’t practice a lot of self-awareness, self-restraint, and put their commitments first, they can easily become intoxicated by romantic feelings with someone (Someone they see every day! And go on business trips with!). Romantic infatuations can lead people to do regrettable things that can create huge messes and sometimes irreparable damage to the most important relationships in their lives.

Romantic Rejection By a Coworker

Less tragically, but more embarrassingly, if you develop or have a crush on a coworker, you will almost invariably take the other person’s professional interest, friendliness, and responsiveness as a sign that your coworker has a crush on you, too. This can embolden you to ask them out, or proclaim your feelings, and have it land with an awkward thud. Not only will you feel rejected romantically, but you may have damaged a once easy professional relationship. The other person may feel uncomfortable around you, and it may impact your professional performance, as well as your emotions.

Sexual Harassment: The Risk is Real

Of course, if your advances land with a thud and you don’t have the humility to apologize and let it go, but rather continue expressing your romantic interest, complimenting them on their appearance, or God forbid, making sexual or suggestive comments, this can very quickly degenerate into a situation where you are committing sexual harassment. This can land you in hot water with HR, damage your professional reputation, or even put you at risk for a lawsuit.

This is especially true if there is any type of power imbalance in your professional relationship, which there almost always is. Even if you’re not in a direct supervising role or the boss of someone you have a crush on, you may have more power in the workplace than they do by virtue of your tenure, professional relationships, or role in relation to them. In these cases, your romantic overtures may create extreme stress and anxiety for someone who fears that upsetting you or rejecting may put their career at risk.

Really: They may smile, laugh at your jokes, and sidestep your advances in an indirect way that feels encouraging, but understand that they are trying to protect themselves while appeasing you. Trust me on this: I’ve worked with many people who have spent many, many coaching sessions trying to figure out how to survive this type of toxic workplace environment that unwanted advances create. You don’t want to be that person!

Takeaway: If you want to test the waters to see if your romantic feelings are reciprocated by a coworker, do so with extreme caution and understand that anything less than a clear and enthusiastic response means “No.” Say it once then stop. If they’re interested, they know where to find you.

While indulging in any romantic feelings for a coworker can lead to unwanted consequences, you might also consider the potential risks and pitfalls of an office romance if this does turn into a real relationship.

Impact on Job Performance: Couples fight. They get upset with each other, and need to work through things that are often very emotionally triggering. When you’re feeling emotionally activated, it can be very challenging to work with your partner around necessary professional things. Frosty silences, snarky comments, passive-aggressive jabs — you know. We’ve all been there, but imagine it happening in a team meeting, or in front of other colleagues. It will damage your ability to perform your job, but it can also impact morale, communication, and feelings of emotional safety for everyone on the team. This is especially true if you’re in a leadership position and carrying on with an employee.

Boredom: Part of having a healthy, long-term relationship is having diversity and growth in both people. When two people have different interests, work experiences, friend groups and more, it creates new experiences, new things to talk about, and the opportunity to learn and grow with each other.

Couples who ride in the same car to work together, interact with all the same people, know exactly what happens during the day, and ride home together at night often find themselves feeling like their relationships get stagnant quickly. If you and your partner work together, make it a point to at least pursue other hobbies or friendships during your off-work hours, or find novel experiences to do together so your relationship continues to feel fresh.

Breaking Up When You Work Together: As a breakup recovery expert I am often approached by people who feel genuinely trapped in the most heart wrenching of circumstances: breaking up with someone they work with. Breakups can be tremendously painful, anxiety provoking, and downright gutting under the best of circumstances.

But when you have to see your Ex every day at work, and can’t avoid contact with them, it makes the suffering and pain so much more intense. When you work with your Ex, it also makes it very difficult to get the distance you need to recover and move on after heartbreak. A significant percentage of people find the experience of working with their Ex so painful that they feel they must leave their job. In this way, a failed office romance can have devastating consequences not just personally, but on their professional trajectory as well.

Best Practices For Dating a Coworker

I hope this discussion of the pros and cons of an office romance have helped you get clarity about how (or if) to proceed. If you do, please think through all the possible pitfalls — there are many! As always, being committed to living with intention, practicing a high degree of self-awareness, staying true to your values, and mindfully approaching situations with a genuine desire for the health and wellbeing of all involved will help you make good choices.

All the best to you,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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