The Impact of Emotional Intelligence

The Impact of Emotional Intelligence

The Impact of Emotional Intelligence

Emotional Intelligence is The Game-Changer

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UNDERSTANDING THE IMPACT OF EMOTIONAL INTELLIGENCE AT WORK: Emotional intelligence (or, “EI” for short) drives your success at work. On a personal level, your career aspirations can stall or get entirely off track without emotional intelligence. However, emotional intelligence impacts entire organizations too. Without leaders who have high levels of emotional intelligence, organizations are negatively impacted through strained employee and customer relationships, higher turnover rates, and often lower bottom line results.

One Leader's Journey to Emotional Intelligence

As a career coach and leadership coach, I have a front row seat to observe just how impactful the presence or absence of emotional intelligence can be. I know from my work with individual leaders as well as organizations and management teams, that having even just one leader committed to improving their levels of emotional intelligence will affect your entire group. 

How to Develop Emotional Intelligence

Here's a real-world example of how to develop emotional intelligence.

I once had a leadership coaching client I'll call Jim, who was in a leadership position at a large, successful tech organization. Showing toughness and determination were obvious strengths for this leader and had played a huge part in his advancing to high levels in the tech industry.

But, after a certain level, what Jim knew how to do — being firm and direct, hardheaded and focused on results — wasn't working out for him anymore. It was easy to see that this 46-year-old leader had stopped moving forward and was stalled out in their current mid-management job, unhappy, and constantly wondering why the VP position wasn’t offered.

Even though Jim was working as hard as ever and driving his team towards even greater goals, there had been no mention of moving into levels of higher responsibility since joining the company 3 years ago. Jim was genuinely mystified: Couldn’t everyone see his advanced tech skills, his grinding work ethic, his name brand school, and impressive resume?

“Company sales were up, my team likes me, I make sure we do a happy hour every week— so why no promotions?” this executive questioned.  “And it was all but stated in my interviews that with hard work, meeting quotas and building a strong sales team, a promotion to VP was an opportunity that would be there.”

As if the frustration and disappointment that was mounting at work weren’t enough, Jim's relationships at home with his wife and kids were unhappy. His wife suggested they try couples counseling. (Jim felt this was entirely unnecessary…. at first).  

Emotional Intelligence is Often a Blind Spot For Leaders

What was creating so many problems for Jim was that he had zero awareness around how other people were feeling in their interactions with him. This was true for his co-workers, reports, leadership, and his wife and kids too.

Yes, Jim had a lot of impressive tech knowledge, skills, and fun personality (in a back-slapping kind of way) but these positives were overshadowed by his inability to be aware of and manage strong emotions or show empathy to those on the team. He had always viewed his fist pounding, demands, and tendency to talk over peers and customers instead of listening as “his style.”  He did not understand that his way of relating to other people was getting in the way of forming collaborative relationships, goodwill, and cooperation — both at work, and at home. 

Emotional Intelligence Coaching: The Lightbulb Goes Off

The organization had also reached its limits with this leader and suggested that emotional intelligence (EI) coaching and leadership coaching would be beneficial.  Not particularly a happy camper during our first meeting, this changed over time and good things started happening!

Before getting involved in Emotional Intelligence coaching, Jim, like many, genuinely believed that his outgoing personality, and drive for success,  paired with a strong set of software development skills and experience should be enough to advance his career. However, Jim was also a smart guy, and he was open to trying something different when he could see for himself that his usual way of doing things wasn't working out. [For more on this, check out “How to Get Ahead at Work“]

The first step of our emotional intelligence coaching work consisted of  360 emotional intelligence survey assessment called the ESCI, which would help us to understand the impact Jim was having on those around him. As part of my assessment process, I interviewed Jim's current manager and had his sales team, peers, and several customers all complete an online survey providing invaluable (anonymous) feedback.

In the first meeting to review survey results, a lightbulb went on for this leader.  Though it was tough to hear that the ambition, drive, and force that were self-described strengths could also be viewed as limitations, it was obvious that this leader’s behaviors were getting in the way of a high-level promotion and success at work. It wasn’t the ambition and drive that was negative; it was the expression of those (impatience, yelling, over-focus on output at the expense of people) that was a problem. However, with Jim's newfound self-awareness he could now understand them as the career-limiting behaviors that they were and change could begin.

Emotional Intelligence Can Be Learned

Through coaching and determined practice, this manager improved key leadership skills. One skill area that was notably low on the assessment (and a total “blind spot”) was mentoring and coaching employees. What a great change on the sales team when they began to see their leader had more interest in how they could each grow at work and made sure they got what they needed to be successful. Jim's sincere interest in how people were doing (and the ability to listen and understand) went much further towards building moral and positive relationships than his happy hour.

Most importantly, Jim learned that leaders need to manage conflict effectively.  This manager’s emotional intelligence survey results were clear: a better way to handle inevitable work conflicts needed to happen, especially with the sales team and customers. (Interestingly, survey outcomes showed this leader managed conflicts more effectively with peers and with his own manager.) Being more self-aware meant better self-management, which meant no more fist-pounding or loud-voiced demands, which meant far better workplace relationships. Instead, Jim learned to recognize and manage his own feelings, and show (and feel) empathy and consideration for the thoughts, feelings, and ideas of others.

It took a lot of practice to change old habits and stitch together change, but Jim was able to put his core strengths of intelligence, determination, and hard work to great use. He was successful.

The Benefit of Emotional Intelligence Coaching

As is my process in emotional intelligence coaching and leadership coaching, I checked back in with Jim and his company. According to the organization some months later, company-wide positive changes had been experienced because of Jim's turnaround. Customers were more satisfied (at least in part) as a result of this one leader’s understanding of their impact in the workplace. Key employees were more productive. They'd reduced turnover. Leadership was happy.

Jim was happy too. Because of his long-standing ability to be resilient and manage change, he was able to drive his career to the next level. He got that promotion. But perhaps even more importantly, he'd also strengthened relationships with his wife and family. Jim's new understanding of the importance of emotions, how to be more sensitive to the feelings of others, ability to listen, and to communicate more respectfully touched every area of his life in a very positive way. 

Jim can do it, and you can too! I hope this story inspires you to develop emotional intelligence in yourself. It's worth it.

Sincerely,

Linda Pounds, M.A., LMFT, Certified EI Coach

 

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HEALTHY PERSONAL & PROFESSIONAL RELATIONSHIPS | Linda Pounds, M.A., LMFT is a relationship expert and certified emotional intelligence coachwith years of experience as a marriage counselor, executive coach, and leadership coach. She’s here to help you cultivate positive relationships in every area of your life. Learn more about Linda…

Let's  Talk

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What To Do When You Hate Your Job

What To Do When You Hate Your Job

Do You Hate Your Job?

Do you struggle with “Sunday Evening Blues?” Do you slap your alarm fifteen times to postpone the inevitable waking up, into another day of stressful / boring / annoying work? Do you feel like you're screwing up at your job? Do you struggle with office politics? Do you feel like you're wasting your life? If your answer is “yes” to any of these questions — you're in luck today! On this episode of The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm speaking with my colleague Dr. Kristi, a Denver Career Coach, and online career coach who has lots of great ideas to help you.

Listen now and get career advice on how to:

  • Figure out whether you can make changes with the job you have to make it better (or whether you need to quit and move on).
  • Figure out what your true calling is (FYI: It may involve mermaids).
  • Use strategic tests and assignments to understand what type of career you'll be most happy with
  • Manage on-the job stress and anxiety, and challenging work-relationships
  • Make a practical plan to start a satisfying new career

What To Do If You Hate Your Job: Listen Now

How to Get Unstuck

How to Get Unstuck

How to Get Unstuck

Advice From a Life and Career Coach: How to Get Unstuck In Life

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How to Get Unstuck

How to Get Unstuck

Feeling stuck is the worst. With all the uncertainty around us — particularly if you're facing very real limitations due to the pandemic situation we're all facing — you may have a lot on your plate that keeps you feeling stuck in your life, your career, even in your relationships.

Finding ways to get unstuck and create your new reality can get quite tricky, particularly when you have very real obstacles and challenging circumstances. However, Denver Therapist and certified online life and career coach Elise Ross is here to remind us that we are capable of empowering ourselves and moving forward — even when things are feeling hard.

In this episode, my colleague Denver life and career coach Elise Ross shares her insights on the the mental blocks that lead to feelings of stuckness, and the importance of getting emotionally unstuck on the inside before you can create positive change in your reality.

She's providing you with some concrete “how to get unstuck” strategies drawn from her effective approach to personal coaching services, and how she helps clients get over this feeling.

If you want to learn how you can get unstuck when you're feeling trapped, then this episode is for you!

xo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

P.S. If you want to get even MORE insight into why you're feeling stuck and how to liberate yourself mentally and emotionally, be sure to take my “What's Holding You Back” online quiz to see where you need to focus your personal growth work.

Here are three reasons why you should listen to the full episode:

  1. Get insights from a professional life and career coach on how to get unstuck mentally and emotionally.
  2. Discover the importance of getting yourself unstuck internally to create your own reality (and how). 
  3. Learn about the hidden, subconscious core beliefs that can keep you feeling stuck — and how to break through.

Episode Highlights

What Makes People Feel Stuck

  • Life coaching and career coaching clients reach out to Elise and tell her they feel stuck or trapped and don’t know what to do. She shares where she starts in helping them get unstuck, by increasing self awareness. 
  • We talk about why different life circumstances lead to feeling stuck in different ways, for example feeling stuck in a career is a very different experience from feeling stuck in a toxic relationship!
  • When you feel trapped it leads to an increase in feelings of worry and nervousness about the future, and that in turn leads to even greater paralysis and difficulty in taking effective action.
  • One of the odd paradoxes is that when you have too many choices it leads you to feel more overwhelmed or trapped — find out why, and what to do when you just don't know where to start.

The Process of Getting Unstuck

  • If you’re feeling stuck, getting support from a life coach, career coach, or relationship coach,  or even just someone you trust can help in processing your thoughts and laying out all the possibilities you have.
  • Sometimes you need someone else to help you align your thoughts, especially when your mind is clouded and very limiting.
  • Elise uses Snyder’s Hope Theory with her clients. It focuses on identifying goals and pathways to achieve those goals, as well as developing your agency to do that.
  • Elise connects the feeling of stuckness to hopelessness, which is why she tries to instill hope in her clients.
  • It is about concretizing barriers, obstacles, goals, and solutions.
  • The process of getting unstuck might also include looking back at successful moments and determining the strategies that worked during those situations. It is a way to build hope.

5 Powerful Quotes from This Episode

“That feeling of worry and nervousness about the future and about not being able to do anything really signals to me that someone actually really does care about wanting to make positive changes, but doesn’t know where to start by themselves.”

On “I should” statements: “Those kinds of things can lend to feeling stuck, because it's not coming from that place where you feel like you have the ability to actually do something. I always say, with the ‘shoulds,’ you’re shoulding on yourself, and that doesn’t leave a lot of productive work.”

“Sometimes, being stuck means you do have to do hard things because it will get you to that ultimate goal.”

“At the beginning of the process, when I’m hearing someone’s stuck, my brain automatically thinks, ‘Oh, they’re feeling hopeless. There’s not a lot of hope.’ […] And so I love starting by asking, ‘What is one thing that you would love to change about your current circumstances?’”

“You don’t have to know exactly where you’re going to start getting unstuck. Because often the place you’re meant to be will be revealed as you continue that process.”

About Life & Career Coach Elise Ross

Elise Ross is a life coach, career counselor, and an individual Denver therapist. She is one of the experts behind the Growing Self team. Elise is passionate about helping people find their truth and change the world through living their authentic purpose.

Read more about Elise on Growing Self. If you're feeling inspired to do your own work around getting unstuck above and beyond listening to this episode, you can schedule a free coaching consultation with Elise to discuss your life  and career goals, and how she can help you achieve them. 

Enjoy the Podcast?

Learning how you could create love, happiness, and success for yourself has never been this easy. If you enjoyed today's episode of the Love, Success, and Happiness Podcast, then hit subscribe and share it with your friends!

Thanks for listening! For more updates and episodes, visit our website. You may also tune in on Google Podcasts, Apple Podcasts, or Stitcher.

To finding love, happiness, and success!

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

How To Get Unstuck

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: Small Tall Order, “Until We Get By”

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Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She's the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let's  Talk

 

 

Real Help, To Move You Forward

 

Everyone experiences challenges, but only some people recognize these moments as opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

Working with an expert therapist or life coach can help you understand yourself more deeply, get a fresh perspective, grow as a person, and become empowered to create positive change in yourself, your relationships and your life.

 

 

Start your journey of growth today by scheduling a free consultation.

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Coronavirus & Career: How We Make This Work — Advice From a Career Coach

Coronavirus & Career: How We Make This Work — Advice From a Career Coach

Coronavirus & Career: How We Make This Work — Advice From a Career Coach

Job Loss? Worried About Your Career? Working From Home?

[social_warfare]

ADVICE FROM A CAREER COACH | In addition to everything else in your life being upended by the coronavirus pandemic, you probably have a slew of new “coronavirus career anxieties” in addition to the usual coronavirus anxiety that's buzzing inside everyone right now.

Many people are very worried about their career future right now. Many jobs have been lost to coronavirus, and with the threat of recession, there may be more layoffs to come. (Read: Coping With a Layoff) For those among us lucky enough to have stable employment, we now figure out how to maintain our professionalism via online video meetings, work from home while balancing childcare, homeschooling and more.

In times like these it's absolutely normal to be worried about work, and help is here.

Advice From a Career Coach

On today's episode we're discussing:

  • What to do if you lost your job
  • How to get a bridge job right now if you need one
  • How to use this time to develop yourself professionally and make long term career plans
  • How to protect your long-term career goals from coronavirus, if they're getting derailed right now
  • Managing anxiety about your career
  • Best practices when working from home for online video meetings
  • Balancing work and life when you're working from home
  • And more!

 

Join us I for some timely coronavirus career advice on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Protect Your Career From Coronavirus: Advice From a Career Coach

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: Mr. & Mrs. Smith, “Gravy Train”

Spread the Love Happiness & Success

Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She's the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let's  Talk

 

 

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Working with an expert therapist or life coach can help you understand yourself more deeply, get a fresh perspective, grow as a person, and become empowered to create positive change in yourself, your relationships and your life.

 

 

Start your journey of growth today by scheduling a free consultation.

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3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

3 Essential Steps to Make Informed Career Decisions

Secrets to Career Success

Meet Mollie, she is a busy mid-career professional who holds a high-stress position with a large company and is struggling to define her professional identity and feel secure in her career decisions. 

She wishes she woke up feeling fulfilled and energized to tackle her goals, but there’s just one problem – she’s not entirely sure what her goals are for her future. Because of that, Mollie is often consumed by negative thoughts and worries about the uncertainty of her indecisions. She is lacking presence in her relationships and with herself and feels stuck sitting at hesitation station. 

What she really wants is to gain clarity and confidence so that she can move forward, let go of the past, and find more meaning along her career path, instead of making excuses. Ultimately Mollie wants to live her life to the fullest, get unstuck for good, and be happy and successful in her work-life.

You might be able to relate to ALL or parts of Mollie’s experience. You are not alone. Mollie took action by making the decision to invest in a career coach to help her gain clarity, confidence, and direction she needed to get unstuck and move forward. As a career coach, I wanted to share with you what I share with my career coaching clients, here are my top 3 Essential Steps to Making Informed Career Decisions!

1. Become Self-Aware

Searching for the right career path requires establishing a career plan. A critical part of the career planning process is becoming self-aware, before even identifying career options and making important career decisions. Finding a path for your career that is meaningful and satisfying requires self-assessment to gain the self-awareness you’ll need to make informed career decisions. This means exploring your true interests and passions, your values and personality preferences, as well as your strengths and transferable skills. 

WHO Before WHAT

Gaining clarity about WHO you are will naturally lead you in the right direction towards WHAT it is that you want to do. This holds true whether you are a recent graduate and just launching your career or if you are an early, mid or late-career professional who is looking for greater satisfaction in your current role or making a career change. There are several other factors that need to be taken into consideration when it comes to making important career decisions – Such as, what is your ideal work environment, what level of responsibility do you want and desire, and what are your salary requirements and preferences?

2. Career Planning 

Career planning helps you develop the “picture of your ideal job”. By exploring first WHO you are, followed by researching possible career and work options that fit your personality, you will be better equipped to consider economic realities and make important career decisions in a thoughtful way. 

The first step of career planning that will most certainly inform your career decisions, is to ask yourself a few questions that probably don’t initially seem very career-focused. By answering these 3 seemly simple questions, you will have more self-knowledge about your interests.

  • In your free time, what do you like to do
  • What are your hobbies? You may not have realized it until now, but many hobbies are also industries. Therefore, if you identify a favorite hobby, you may also have identified a favorite field. This applies whether you are just starting out or itching for a change. 
  • When friends come to you for help with problems or questions, what are the kinds of problems or questions for which they seek your advice?

Create The Life You Envision

It is possible to transform your interests into job targets. This is a process that I coach my career coaching clients through to help them create the kind of life that they envision for themselves. Especially those who feel like they are stuck in a rut and want to do something that feels more like they are truly making a difference at the end of the day. The focus is on both self-understanding and gaining knowledge about the job market. 

The second key step of the career planning process is to identify your strengths and transferable skills. What makes a transferable skill a strength is when you identify the skill as something you are highly proficient in and that you enjoy. If you don’t enjoy it, and it’s not important to you, then it’s not a true strength. 

What Are Transferable Skills? 

They are the basic building blocks of a job that are not rooted in any particular field or content. A transferable skill is a developed aptitude or ability and is considered a functional skill. I help my clients identify their top 5 transferable skills through a combination of formal and informal assessments. This brings clarity, validation, and confidence to their strengths and ability to move to the next steps of career goal setting.

3. Develop An Action Plan

The third step is to know that career decision-making is a process that takes time. It involves retrieving comparative information about career options, testing assumptions and drawing conclusions, and looking at the pros and cons of the different job targets that have been identified. And finally, to develop a comprehensive action plan that showcases both your strengths and accomplishments so that you are following a career path that is meaningful and satisfying, and supports your lifestyle.

Set Yourself Up For Success

If you truly want to get a head start in your career, whether you are just starting out or making a significant career change, first you have to be willing to explore who you are on a deeper level. What you are choosing to do for a living is not just a job that provides a paycheck, it is something that inspires you and motivates you to live a more meaningful and fulfilling life

The career planning and decision-making process is not a fast-track to success; however, if you take the time to gain clarity about your requirements and preferences you will set yourself up for long-term success, not just short-term gratification. 

And lastly, feeling confident in the decisions you make about your life and your future is empowering. When you feel empowered it shows in your actions and success is accelerated along your chosen career path because you are more focused, strategic, and values-driven. 

Once Mollie was able to identify and acknowledge her true strengths and values, her confidence in herself grew and her motivation for creating positive change in her life became unstoppable. She began to advocate for herself more at work and received a promotion that provided her with the level of responsibility and support that she desired. She also gained greater clarity about the skill areas that she wants to further develop and as a result, she created a short term and long-term plan for her success.

Mollie is happy in her new role and trusts that her career planning will keep her from feeling stuck. She has a renewed sense of purpose at work that has positively influenced other important areas of her life. 

You can find this level of support and success in your own career journey!

We believe in you and your success!

 

 

 

Real Help, To Move You Forward

 

Everyone experiences challenges, but only some people recognize these moments as opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

Working with an expert therapist or life coach can help you understand yourself more deeply, get a fresh perspective, grow as a person, and become empowered to create positive change in yourself, your relationships and your life.

 

 

Start your journey of growth today by scheduling a free consultation.

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