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How To Deal With Difficult Parents

How To Deal With Difficult Parents

Do you have issues with your parents?

If so, you’re normal. As a therapist, family therapist, and life coach I know that many, if not most, people in their twenties, thirties, and forties are still working through different aspects of their relationships with their parents. This doesn’t mean rehashing the past, but rather letting go of old, self-limiting baggage so that you can move forward into the life you design.

Though this work can be challenging, it can also be absolutely necessary for you to re-define your relationships with your family of origin as you grow into your happiest, healthiest, “best self.” Understanding how you relate/d to your family can also be profoundly important to understanding how you relate to your spouse and children.

Sometimes, this work involves healing, and forgiving your parents for things that happened in the past. You may need to learn how to establish healthy adult relationships with your parents, as you create your own family. Or, you might need to set boundaries with your parents, and release the responsibility and guilt your’re carrying.

It’s a lot, and for many this type of work can feel very “big” and overwhelming. So on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I’m going to be talking you through some really common “parent problems” that adults face, and give you some tips for how to resolve them successfully. This episode might be helpful to you if you have:

  1. Critical parents, judgmental parents or (shiver) narcissistic parents.
  2. Intrusive parents, controlling parents, or generous parents who give gifts with strings attached.
  3. Parents who are a mess, and emotionally or financially dependent on you.
  4. Unfinished emotional business with parents who have disappointed you, or hurt you.

Yes, these are deep topics, but ones I know that so many of you can relate to. I hope that the advice I share here can help you to not just create healthier and happier relationships with your parents, but can launch you on your own empowering journey of healing and growth.

May peace be with you,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

 

How To Deal With Difficult Parents

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success Podcast

(Music Credits: “Melt Your Heart,” by Jenny Lewis and the Watson Twins)

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Nourishing and Nurturing Your Marriage After Kids

Nourishing and Nurturing Your Marriage After Kids

A Happy, Healthy Marriage is The Greatest Gift You Can Give Your Children.

It is wonderful that expecting parents put so much time, energy and resources into preparing for childbirth by taking childbirth classes, and new-baby care classes. Making sure that baby’s entry into the world is as peaceful and joyful as possible is important. Learning how to properly care for a baby is the responsible, loving thing to do.

Aaaannnnd, as a marriage counselor, I so wish that more couples would put even a fraction of the same thoughtfulness into learning how to keep their relationship healthy after they have a child. Because, in my opinion, the greatest gift you can give your children is a strong, stable family with parents that love and respect each other. And while that is absolutely possible after babies arrive, it requires intentional effort to make it happen.

Babies Change Don’t Have to Change Everything 

It is true that having a fun, enjoyable relationship feels naturally easier before babies. Date nights happen on a whim, weekend music festivals or snowboarding trips are not out of the question, meaningful conversations are not interrupted by howling, and sex is, well, sexier without a bassinet in the room.

It is also true that after babies arrive, amazing, hilarious and joyful experiences are still possible for your relationship — PLUS you now have a shared sense of meaning and purpose that was unimaginable before you looked at your precious child’s face together for the first time. However, parenthood requires you to take your teamwork and communication to a whole new level, while also providing each other with unconditional emotional support as you navigate a new chapter of your lives.

Upping your game as a couple is not easy, and it doesn’t happen overnight. Throw in some baby blues, new-mom / dad anxiety, sleep deprivation, and a “Holy-Crap-I-Have-a-Kid” existential crisis, and interactions can get intense. Nurturing and nourishing your marriage as you journey into parenthood together requires intention, thoughtfulness, and some practical strategies. And regrettably, your local hospital or birth center does not offer this as a class like “Daddy Bootcamp” or “Breastfeeding 101.”

Would you like to talk?

Schedule your free consultation. Meet online or in person.

Talking Relationships With Real Food Mamas

So of course I was absolutely thrilled when internationally recognized Nutritionist and Dietician (and Healthy Living Guru) Aglaée Jacob of Radicata Nutrition invited me to talk about this subject on her podcast, Real Food Mamas. If you’re not yet familiar with their show, it’s all about “natural pregnancy, undisturbed birth, and healthy living for the whole family” that emphasizes an organic, holistic lifestyle founded on whole foods nutrition.

We talked about how to keep relationship bonds strong and healthy after baby comes. I specifically addressed:

  • Common (and avoidable!) pitfalls that new parents face
  • Practical strategies couples can use to stay connected after baby comes
  • How to improve your ability to work together, even under stress
  • How to recognize when more serious problems may be brewing in your marriage
  • And more!

Click here to listen or find the podcast on iTunes or Stitcher!

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