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Have More Wedding Dazzle, Less Wedding Frazzle

Have More Wedding Dazzle, Less Wedding Frazzle

Getting Married is a Big Deal. Do it Right.

Are you planning a Colorado Wedding? There are soooo many things to think about when you’re getting married: Venue, food, music, the ceremony, the dress. It’s easy to get caught up in the whirlwind and feel overwhelmed — so much, that the relationship you want to celebrate can start to feel the stress.

So many choices are ahead of you, and there are so many possibilities to designing your dream wedding in Denver. It can be hard to know where to begin. Stress levels go up and what should be a joyful time can begin to feel a little out of control.

I’m here to offer you some advice, and also some help:

Free Advice From Denver Wedding Experts

I know how overwhelming it can be to plan a wedding. Here is my wedding gift to you — a FREE “Ask A Wedding Expert Event” I’m hosting with L Elizabeth Wedding Planners. We are getting a group of some of Denver’s best and top rated wedding experts — a caterer, an officiant, a wedding stylist, a musician, and a photographer — in the same room for you to just talk and ask questions in an informal, non-promotional atmosphere.

I want to do this for you because, amidst the overwhelm and chaos, the most important and essential things to do before you get married — like premarital counseling — can seem less relevant than centerpieces and cake flavors. My hope is that by getting guidance in the wedding planning process you are able to lower your stress, have the wedding you want, AND have time and energy left over to invest in premarital counseling. Because the point of all of this is to have a fantastic marriage.


 

denver premarital counseling

Ask the Denver Wedding Experts on 3/16: Learn More


 

Another Wedding Present For You:

Free Relationship Advice

(From a marriage counselor who has also been married for a long time).

Get professional premarital counseling, or take a premarital class. (And talking to your church pastor a couple of times doesn’t count). Please. Your children will thank you for it.

I have been married for nearly 20 years now, and I can barely remember my own wedding. What I do know is that the relationship I have with my husband is the cornerstone of my life. The fabric of our marriage, like everyone else’s, is made up of the way we talk to each other, they way we support each other emotionally, and the agreements we have made as a couple about the way we handle our shared life.

We are in a great place now. AND, like many young couples, we had many dramatic,  intense, and stupid arguments about how we talk to each other, how we needed to be supported emotionally, and stuff-of-life like housework and money before we figured it all out. The first few years we were married there were times I wasn’t sure if we were going to make it, because it seemed like we had so many differences.

What I know now, after so many years of marriage (and becoming a marriage counselor) is that it simply doesn’t need to be that hard. We would have been saved a lot of aggravation and heartache if we’d gotten involved in high quality premarital counseling before getting married. Learning how relationships actually work, how to communicate with each other, and creating agreements in advance would have made all the difference.

Thankfully, in our case it worked out. Many couples are not so lucky. We see many couples in marriage counseling 3, 4 and 5 years after the wedding still trying to hash all these things out. But unfortunately, fighting about it for years has created hurt feelings, resentment and mistrust that eroded their bond. Many times we can help these couples grow back together again. But sometimes it’s too late.

So come to the “Ask The Denver Wedding Experts” event on March 16th to get free wedding planning advice, and also meet the premarital counselors on my team, Jessica Small, M.A., and Meagan Terry, M.A. (I’ll be there too.) On top of everything else, you’ll also leave with our “Five Essential Skills For Every Couple” mini training.

Hope to see you there,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

P.S. If you know you want premarital counseling and want a easy, convenient and inexpensive way to do it, check out our six week “Lifetime of Love” Premarital Class. The next session starts on Monday March 30, at 6pm!


denver premarital counseling class

 

 

Planning a Wedding? Ask a Wedding Expert!

Toxic Relationship Patterns (And How To Overcome Them)

Toxic Relationship Patterns (And How To Overcome Them)

Have you ever noticed that you and your love seem to have the same fight over and over again? Ever wonder why? The truth is that there are very clear patterns that tend to take over relationships. Some will pull you closer together. But if a toxic pattern takes hold — look out!

I had a delightful time this week speaking with expert matchmaker and dating coach Jasbina Ahluwalia, founder of Intersections Match on her podcast, Intersections Match Radio. We talked all about relationship patterns, and how to overcome them.

We talked about which relationship patterns are the most destructive so that you can identify them quickly if they start to pop up. We also talked about specific skills and strategies you can start using today if you see them happening, so that you can stop the madness and repair your relationship.

We also talked about the difference between couples who invest in premarital counseling versus those who don’t, and the impact that this can have on relationships down the road.

Because Jasbina is all about finding love (she is one of the country’s top matchmakers and dating coaches, after all) we also talked about dating: I shared my top tips for what to look for if you want to create a love that lasts.

Toxic Relationship Patterns: Click Here to Listen Now!

Learn more about Jasbina’s Matchmaking and Dating Coaching services for Indian singles:
http://intersectionsmatch.com/

The Biggest Mistake Engaged Couples Make…

The Biggest Mistake Engaged Couples Make…

… Is Skipping Premarital Counseling.

If you want a healthy, happy marriage that lasts a lifetime, premarital counseling is not optional. Trust me. I’ve been a Denver marriage counselor now for a decade, and I have worked with countless couples who struggled with enormously as a result of not addressing some problems prior to getting married.

Make premarital counseling a priority as you’re planning for your wedding. You can either do private premarital counseling one-on-one with a marriage counselor, or take a premarital counseling class. Just be sure you do it!

Here’s why:

1) Your relationship will be much more resilient.

Couples who go through good marriage counseling together have stronger marriages.  It’s easier for couples who’ve done PMC to weather inevitable hardships together, because they’ve talked openly and honestly, in advance, about the areas of friction the’ll encounter in married life, and how to handle them.

Knowing about the possible vulnerabilities of your relationship, and planning in advance for how to address them together will make it much more likely that you will be able to handle them effectively as a couple when they arise.

Think of premarital counseling as being kind of like a fire-drill for inevitable marriage issues you will have. You’ll both know exactly where the fire extinguisher is, what to do, and be able to put the fire out before it burns down your house.

2) You’ll learn practical skills that will make being married easier.

It can take a looooooong time — with lots of yelling and smashed plates — for couples to work out fairly basic life-skills together, like how talk to each other, how to manage finances, who is in charge of what around the house, how we handle boundaries with our families of origin, how we’re going to deal with religion once we have kids, and how we spend our time on the weekends. Even the simplest things can turn into fights when someone starts using “that tone” and constructive conversations about how to solve problems can start to feel very difficult.

It simply does not need to be that hard. Premarital counseling is all about teaching you skills need to solve problems when they first start to come up. Better yet, it allows you to come to agreements before they even become problems — allowing you to head yucky feeling fights off at the pass.

For example, couples who meet with us for premarital counseling do hands-on activities together like creating budgets, negotiating household responsibilities, learning about boundaries, and — most importantly — how to talk to each other, particularly in emotionally charged situations. Having these concrete skills in place before you get married will allow you to spend a lot more of your time in the few years of your marriage enjoying each other, and less time spent screaming at each other about who’s turn it is to take out the trash.

3) It will prevent you from having the “You’ve Changed” conversation 5 years from now.

Neither of you are perfect, and you both have hopes and dreams, opinions and preferences, habits and expectations that may be very different from each other. It’s not important that you are in exact alignment about every aspect of your life — you’re different people, and that’s a good thing. What is important that you have a full picture of who it is that you’re marrying so that you can decide in advance if the things they are bringing to the table are going to be okay with you in the long run.

Before you get married, it’s important to understand what those differences are, and whether the positive aspects of your relationship outweigh the negatives.  You need to know before you get married what things about your beloved that are probably NOT going to change, and whether you can live with them for the next 50 years.

Getting Married is a Big Deal. Do it Right.

Make premarital counseling a priority as you plan for the big day. Five years from now you won’t remember the flowers or what was in the clever gift-bags, but if you do premarital counseling you will likely be drawing upon the skills that you learned about how to have a happy and healthy relationship with each other.

Growing Self Counseling and Life Coaching offers private premarital counseling sessions with one of our expert marriage counselors. And this winter we’re very pleased to be presenting our Premarital Counseling Class, “A Lifetime of Love.” It meets for 6 weeks on Mondays starting February 9th at 5pm, at our Cherry Creek location.

Learn more about our Denver Premarital Counseling Class: A Lifetime of Love


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Growing Self Counseling & Coaching
Growing Self
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