How to Stop Your Anxiety, Right Now.

How to Stop Your Anxiety, Right Now.

Ahhh Anxiety. The sleepless nights. The pit in your stomach. The worries, ever swirling. Anxiety is the experience of being traumatized by bad things happening… before they actually happen. Not fun, and yet so common. Many of our Denver therapy clients and online anxiety therapy clients struggle with this same thing, before they use how to learn evidence-based anxiety management techniques to turn things around.

In efforts to help you manage the very real and understandable anxiety about Coronavirus that so many of us are experiencing, I’m re-posting this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. In it, I’m going to teach you how to stop mentally time traveling into DOOM, and restore your sense of inner peace through evidence-based therapy and mindfulness techniques.

First, I’ll help you understand what anxiety is, and the mind-body connection that keeps you trapped in it’s clutches. Then, I’ll be teaching you my four favorite techniques for stopping it. They’re all mindfulness based, and in my experience very effective. They work for my clients, and they work for me. I have every confidence that they’ll help you, too.

For much, much more on this subject, be sure to check out my online Happiness Class which is chock-full of even more practical cognitive, behavioral and mindfulness-based strategies to help you feel good again: Mind, body and soul.

 

How to Stop Anxiety: Listen Now

(Music Credits: “Anxiety Attack,” by Jeffrey Lewis.)

Key Points:

How to Stay Stress Free

How to Stay Stress Free

How to Stay Stress Free

The Art of Cultivating Calm

Do you feel like it’s hard to manage the stress of it all? If you’re like so many of our high-achieving type-A life coaching and therapy clients here at Growing Self, you probably have days when you’re feeling spread thin. Let’s face it: Staying on top of everything is a lot! Between managing a high-impact career, running a household, staying on top of laundry, groceries, personal projects, having a high quality relationship with your partner, and perhaps a kid or three PLUS finding time to self care, take occasional showers, and maintain your friendships… whew! We’re all going in a thousand different directions, and it can feel extremely stressful. The idea that you stay stress free sounds like an unattainable dream.

This is especially true when you feel, like so many people do, that you’re struggling to stay on top of it all. When we become overly busy, things start to slip! When you’re rushed, it’s hard to stay organized. When you’re going a zillion miles an hour, you start to forget things, lose things, and feel less and less organized. That leads to feeling even more stressed and out of control, and then it’s even harder to keep up. It’s a downward spiral of stress, mess, and panic. Not a sustainable way to live!

How To Stay Stress Free (Really!)

So… how do you get off the hamster wheel of modern life and stay stress free? How do you begin to get yourself organized and back in control? Most importantly, how do you create a sustainable system that allows you to not just do the things that you need to do but manage your life in such a way that you don’t constantly feel like a frantic stress-ball?

My guest on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, Marilyn Paul, PhD, is here to show us how. Dr. Paul has been on the faculty of Yale Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital School, and is the author of “It’s Hard to Make a Difference When You Can’t Find Your Shoes” as well as “An Oasis of Time: How a Day of Rest Can Save Your Life.” Dr. Paul is an expert in time management and personal organization by professional training… but she’s also a fellow traveler with powerful stories about the life lessons she’s learned as someone who has also struggled to keep up with it all.

If you have days when you feel like you’re drowning, I hope you listen to this conversation. (And yes, totally okay if you’re listening to this while you’re multi-tasking ten other things at the same time: I get it!) But you’ll be glad if you can fit this in to your day: Dr. Paul shares so many insights and tips, and compassionate, empowering ideas that you can use ASAP to cultivate calm and order in your life, so that you can feel genuinely stress free from the inside out.

Your partner in growth,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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How to Stay Stress Free

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

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Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

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Leaving Toxic Relationship?

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If you’ve been trapped in a toxic relationship it can be hard to leave. Getting support, perspective and insight from others can help you find the clarity you need to break free. Shannon Ashley is a toxic relationship survivor, and she’s on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast with an empowering message of growth and healing….

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

Breaking Free From a Toxic Relationship

LEAVING TOXIC RELATIONSHIP? Or thinking about it? If so, my heart goes out to you: You’ve already been through the wringer. As a therapist who specializes in toxic relationship addiction, and having researched and written a breakup recovery book, I know from years of experience that when you’re addicted to a toxic relationship, it messes with your mind. Toxic relationships trash your self esteem. They damage your ability to trust. But even worse, after tolerating months or even years in a toxic relationship it can make you feel like you can’t even trust your own judgement anymore.

This is completely understandable. For the record, anyone can get mixed up in a toxic relationship. Having this experience doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It’s happened to me, too. It’s easy to get sucked in to an exciting, passionate relationship that makes you feel the chemistry you’ve been longing for. The early stages of toxic relationships often feel like what we believe “true love” is supposed to feel like — intense, obsessive, and all consuming.

This very reason is why toxic relationships are SO confusing. They are, by definition, fraught with the highest of highs. When you’re in an unhealthy relationship, there is an elation when you connect, a sense of “completeness” when you’re with the person you have such intense feelings for… but also the lowest of the lows. And the lows always come. Being mistreated, emotionally abused, betrayed, and having your boundaries crossed (and crossed and crossed) are also part of the experience of being in a toxic relationship. Throw in a little gaslighting, and after a while, you don’t even know which way is up anymore.

Why It’s So Hard To Leave a Toxic Relationship

Even if you know (intellectually) that it’s time to cut the cord to a toxic relationship, it’s easier said than done. Relationship addiction is a very real thing, and just like an alcoholic or substance abuser can have an unhealthy, yet very real, bond to a substance…you can also have an unhealthy attachment to another person. And just like any other addiction, being addicted to a toxic relationship isn’t something you can just quit easily. Breaking free from a toxic relationship is a recovery process that takes time, self-awareness, growth, and a lot of support.

Before you can leave a toxic relationship, if you’re like many people, you’re wrestling with questions that need to be answered before you feel confident to move on. Relationship questions like, “How do you know if a relationship is toxic?” or “Can a toxic relationship be saved?” or “What are toxic traits in a relationship?” are all very common questions, because when you’re in a toxic relationship…. it can be hard to tell. What’s normal in a relationship? What’s a toxic relationship? What’s a deal breaker, for ME?

Having the time and space to reflect, reconnect with yourself, and get those questions answered are a vital part of the healing process. For many people, the strength and clarity they need to cut the cord for once and for all only comes after they’ve answered those questions.

How to Recover From a Toxic Relationship

As a therapist who has worked with countless people around toxic relationship addiction, I know that getting clarity is not just the most important first step of healing — it can be one of the biggest challenges in recovering from a toxic relationship. Especially if you’ve already been mistreated, had your boundaries crossed, and are questioning your own judgment – you really need an outside perspective to help you reconnect with your own inner wisdom about what’s okay, what’s not okay, and what you need to do. Even more importantly, you need support and guidance to help you do the hard and often painful of breaking free from a toxic relationship.

That is why connecting with other supportive people, whether it’s a good therapist or wise life coach, or supportive person who’s lived through this themselves, can be so crucial.

Leaving Toxic Relationships: New Podcast

In order to provide you with the empowering support and perspective that can support YOUR growth and recovery, I’ve invited writer Shannon Ashley to join me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Shannon writes (and so well!) about topics like relationships, self-esteem, emotional health and wellness, and more for Medium.com, and other outlets. She has also written extensively about HER lived experience in a toxic relationship, and about the journey of growth that helped her break free.

Shannon is not the type of “official” relationship expert that I often have on the show — she’s so much more. She’s a fellow traveler who has walked through the fire, and come out the other side. She has been able to give a voice to the experience that you’re going through, and she has a unique perspective on what it really takes to heal from a toxic relationship. I’m so pleased that she’s here to share her hard won wisdom with YOU today.

If you’re struggling to break free from a toxic relationship, I hope that you listen. (Or, if reading this makes you think not of yourself, but of someone you love who may be dealing with this, I hope you share this episode with them.)

Wishing you all the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: If you’re in an “iffy” relationship and want to get clarity about whether it’s healthy or not, consider taking my free “How Healthy is Your Relationship” quiz. Here’s the link.

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Breaking Free From a Toxic Relationship

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Spread the Love Happiness & Success!

Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

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Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

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How to Be More Vulnerable in Relationships

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Do you keep your walls up with others? If so, you might be missing out on fully authentic and emotionally intimate relationships. Learn how to open up, and use the power of vulnerabiliy to create connection.

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

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The Path to Wellness

The Path to Wellness

The Path to Wellness

Relationship Help

Regaining Your Health Begins With Listening To Yourself….

The path to wellness can be a long and challenging one, if you or someone you love is dealing with a chronic health condition — particularly one with no simple cause or obvious solution. More and more frequently it seems people are grappling with health issues that impact many areas of their lives, but for which traditional western medicine offers few answers or support.

While more and more is being known about things like fibromyalgia, chronic fatigue, Lyme disease, metabolic issues, toxic mold, allergies and other sensitivities and chronic health conditions, they often remain shrouded in mystery and misconception.

People dealing with these issues often feel alone and unsupported, on top of feeling extremely unwell physically.

In these cases, the path to wellness begins with an enormous amount of strength, courage, and self-awareness. It requires the ability to advocate for yourself, and the persistence to continue pressing on to find the solutions that will help you feel healthy, well, and whole again — often in the face of minimizing or disempowering (but well meaning) medical professionals, friends, and even family.

The Path to Wellness

If you can relate to this experience (or love someone who is going through this) I hope you listen to the latest episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. In it, I’m joined by my colleague, therapist and life coach Amy-Noelle Shih, M.A., LPC. Amy has always had an empowering and supportive approach to therapy and life coaching, but over the last few years, she has developed a specialty in helping people find a path to wellness from challenging, and often complex, chronic health conditions.

She’s here today to share her insights into things like:

  • How to muster up the emotional strength to advocate for yourself and communicate your needs…. when you’re at a low point physically.
  • What the path to wellness often looks like, twists, turns, dead-ends and all.
  • How to shift your mindset into one that brings you strength, peace, and gratitude during challenging times.
  • How to use “radical mindfulness” to avoid feeling afraid and hopeless.
  • The lifestyle changes and new priorities that can help you focus on your health.
  • How to create a meaningful support system that supports you on your path to wellness.

If you’ve been dealing with the challenging realities of a chronic health condition, we’re glad you’re here. We hope this episode provides you with support and guidance on your path back to wellness.

With love,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby and Amy-Noelle Shih, M.A., LPC

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

The Path to Wellness

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: November Polaroid, “And Miles to Go”

Spread the Love Happiness & Success

Please Rate, Review & share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

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The Power Of Connection

The Power Of Connection

The Power Of Connection

You Were Built To Bond

So many of us, around this time of year, are working on achieving important personal goals. Many times, our hopes are to rid ourselves of bad habits, unhealthy attachments, and to cultivate positive, energizing new practices, relationships, and lifestyle changes. All to the good… but, as you know if you’ve ever tried, easier said than done.

People can get very upset with themselves when they “fail” to quickly and easily break their bonds to unhelpful behaviors and habits. They shame themselves, feel bad about themselves and can start to feel very discouraged. This is not only not helpful, it’s also based on entirely incorrect assumptions: That making a decision to change, to stop doing something, or start doing another should easily and effortlessly lead to change itself.

Not. True.

One of the key ideas that can completely transform the way you think about changing anything is to consider unhelpful habits or non-ideal practices as things that are currently serving an important purpose in your life — whether you like it or not. Everything we do is, on some level, in service of our core needs.

For example, You have legitimate needs for comfort, for safety, for soothing, and for connection. If you have a bad habit that you’re finding hard to shake, it’s very likely that habit is fulfilling a basic need. Understanding that everything, even behaviors and habits that seem on the surface to be unhelpful or even unhealthy are serving an important purpose for you can open the door to a new, compassionate way of understanding why you do what you do… as well as point the way towards a different, more effective path of growth and change.

Consider this idea: What emerging research into neuroscience is pointing to is the fact that human beings are hardwired to BOND. Ideally, we bond to healthy people and have satisfying relationships. But we can also bond to other things, like gratifying behaviors, substances of abuse, and unhealthy relationships. Your brain is actually built that way! It can be diabolically easy to become bonded to something that’s basically a placeholder for what you really need: safety, security, soothing, love, and connection. (Looking at you, emotional eating!)

By understanding your authentic, deep needs for comfort, emotional safety and connection, you can begin to release unhelpful bonds to behaviors that — while they may meet your needs — are doing so in a “non ideal way.” From this place of enlightenment, self-awareness, and empowerment you can then intentionally create healthy new bonds to things, behaviors and people who energize and nourish you.

The Power of Connection

A leading expert in these new ideas is Jennifer Nicholaisen. Jennifer is the executive director of an addiction treatment center called Seek Healing. She and her colleagues view these emerging ideas about human connection, the power of bonding, and the basic need for emotional safety as THE healing force behind substance abuse recovery. They view the process of addiction recovery as one of breaking unhealthy old bonds (to substances), and establishing healthy new ones to emotionally safe people. Participants in her compassionate program learn how to create healthy connections with other people — connections that feel so powerful that their previous bonds to substances are able to be released.

It’s powerful stuff. And today, Jennifer is with me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to share her insights with YOU about how you, too, can intentionally cultivate healthy bonds and use the power of connection to create healing and health in your own life.

I hope you listen to this very special episode, and that it provides you with a helpful new perspective for understanding yourself and others.

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

 

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Relationship Advice: Listener's Relationship Questions, Answered

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Spread the Love Happiness & Success

Please Rate, Review & share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

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