Online Therapy: What You Should Know About Teletherapy

Online Therapy: What You Should Know About Teletherapy

Online Therapy: What You Should Know About Teletherapy

All Your Questions Answered

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Teletherapy is also referred to as Online Therapy, Telehealth, TeleMental Health, Telemedicine, and E-Health. Although it has many names, it serves one purpose: to make your physical and mental health services more accessible! The use of Teletherapy has become more common as technology has grown to make life more efficient. 

The truth is, traditional therapy (going to a therapy office) just isn’t always convenient or even possible. There have been times in my life when I’ve felt too busy to squeeze in one more “stop” on my drive home, and other times when I just wished I could conduct my day from the comfort of my bed. 

Even now, with social distancing efforts underway, it seems that we are forced to cut certain social interactions out of our life, and unfortunately traditional therapy may be one of those. However, with Teletherapy services you don’t have to wait to see a therapist in person.  

What Actually Is Teletherapy?

Teletherapy is essentially just a platform for your therapist to communicate with you. This can be through online-video, a phone call, and even sometimes texting or email. Here at Growing Self, we are advocates of teletherapy counseling via online HIPAA compliant video. I personally love to see my online therapy clients through online-video because I feel more connected with them when I can see their faces.

Here’s a Guide To Online Therapy if you’d like to learn more!

What Teletherapy Is Not… 

It is not a modality or a “type” of therapy. Basically, therapists will conduct their sessions, as usual, using their specific clinical training. In other words, I don’t switch to a new style of therapy just because I’m using technology. Instead, I allow technology to help me reach my clients so that I can use the clinical training I’ve already received. 

Teletherapy is also not a 24-hour crisis hotline. A therapist using telehealth may not be equipped to handle immediate crises. It is true that technology increases the accessibility of your therapist, however calling a 24-hour crisis line, such as 1-800-273-8255 (Suicide Prevention Hotline), may be more helpful if you are in need of immediate assistance.

If you are looking for emergency resources, we have put together a list for you here: Emergency Resources

What Are The Risks And Benefits Of Teletherapy? 

One question as an online therapist that I receive from my online couples therapy and individual therapy clients is, “don’t you miss certain cues when you can’t see someone in-person?” The answer… yes and no. 

For the most part, I can read people’s facial expressions and body language as long as the video quality is good, yet there are times when I wish I could see someone’s foot-tapping, or when a couple reaches out to hold hands during a session. Despite some “missed cues”, video therapy can also increase the effectiveness of the therapy process because people seem to feel more comfortable in their own homes. 

Other benefits include the efficiency of Telehealth. Pulling out your phone and hopping on a video session takes much less time than getting in your car, driving to the therapy office, finding parking, and then walking through the door. Not to mention the cost of travel saved!

Overall, I find that most people are pleased with the convenience of Telehealth. 

One risk to note is privacy. As an online therapist, I strive to do all that I can to protect my clients’ privacy. However, I cannot control what happens on the other side of the screen. It could be harder for some people to find a safe and secure environment to conduct an online therapy session, especially if they have family members in the next room! 

Doing things like closing the door, using earbuds, or starting a sound machine outside the door can help. Also using HIPAA compliant software. Growing Self offers a secure business HIPAA compliant Zoom link to consultations and clients. Using a secured video platform can help provide extra security. 

Lastly, Telehealth may not be a good option for you if you experience serious mental health issues. In this case, seeing an in-person licensed therapist in your state may be a better option. 

In-person therapy may also be better for you if you struggle with extreme anger or emotional reactivity, especially for couples therapy. 

Is Teletherapy And Online Couples Counseling Affordable?

Here at Growing Self, we believe that you and your relationships truly matter. We care about YOU! This is why we provide affordable online therapy and work with your insurance when it is appropriate to do so. 

Money is never the most important thing. Not in life, not in love, and certainly not in good business. Money is never, ever as important as people. Just like you, we have values and integrity. Our values are centered around helping you.

Because your well-being is so important to us we will not allow money to stand between you and the Love, Happiness and Success that you deserve.

We will explore solutions with you, be flexible with you, and help you get connected with the right services to fit both your needs and your budget.

Does My Insurance Cover Teletherapy?

We can help you use your insurance for your sessions at Growing Self IF:

  • You are doing therapy (not coaching)
  • Your policy covers behavioral healthcare with out-of-network providers
  • You meet criteria for a psychiatric diagnosis
  • AND you are working with a clinician who is licensed in your state of residence.
  • For couples, we help you use your insurance if you or your partner has a diagnosis that your couples work is focusing on. (As well as the above criteria).

How Do I Find A Therapist For Teletherapy Sessions?

Overall, Teletherapy is effective, convenient, and easy to use AND can be an extremely helpful tool for those seeking psychotherapy from their own homes. 

Research consistently shows that the key component of meaningful and effective personal growth work is working with the right person.

Because the goodness of fit is so important, as part of our dedication to your success, we offer you a free consultation meeting with the expert of your choice so that you can meet them face-to-face, learn about their background and approach, discuss your hopes and goals, and talk about what your work together might look like.

If it feels like a good match, you can then continue meeting until you’ve achieved your goals.

Growing Self has an excellent team of therapists experienced in providing therapy services through online-video. If you’re interested in learning more or would like to schedule a free 30-minute online therapy consultation, our client services team is here to help you find the right fit for your individual and relationship goals. Please visit us here to get started: Powerful Online Therapy and Coaching.

Wishing you Love, Happiness and Success on your journey,
Georgi Chizk, M.S., LMAFT

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Georgi Chizk, M.S., LAMFT is a warm, compassionate marriage counselor, individual therapist and family therapist who creates a safe and supportive space for you to find meaning in your struggles, realize your self-worth, and cultivate healthy connections with the most important people in your life.

Let’s  Talk

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Lots of couples go through challenging times, but the ones who turn "rough-patches" into "growth moments" can come out the other side stronger and happier than ever before.

 

Working with an expert couples counselor can help you create understanding, empathy and open communication that felt impossible before.

 

Start your journey of growth together by scheduling a free consultation.

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Empowerment Journal

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Why It’s So Hard To Love Yourself

The proclivity we all have to beat ourselves up is often simply an unhappy byproduct of the psychology of children. Children are, inherently, narcissistic in the sense that they only know their own experience and have limited insight into why other people behave the way they do, or the larger context of situations. Because of this, when kids experience shaming, criticism, rejection or hostility from peers or parents (but especially peers) it boils down to one central takeaway: “I’m bad / wrong / unlovable / unlikeable” and they carry that message into adulthood with them.

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How Difficulty Loving Yourself Impacts Your Life

If you, like many, have a hard time accepting yourself and feeling generally good about who you are, it may negatively impact many areas of your life.  Not being able to love yourself is damaging to your other relationships is because when you struggle with beliefs of low self-worth you don’t feel okay inside of yourself. This makes you look to other people for affirmation and acceptance in order to feel good about you. Or, you might start linking your intrinsic “goodness” to other things, like what you achieve, how you look, how much money you earn, what you weigh, etc.

This can turn into a roller coaster of chasing perfection that you can never quite attain. You might work so hard to do everything “right,” and drive yourself into exhaustion attempting to prove to yourself and others that you really are good enough as evidenced by all the amazing things you’re doing. [For more on this, read “The Problem With Perfectionism”]

The truth is that life doesn’t always go the way we want it to. If you strive, you will fail sometimes. As a fellow human, you are just as imperfect as the rest of us. Not everyone will like you, much less love you. A lot of living is not really that fabulous, just the day-to-day slog of adulting, interspersed by peak moments that may feel long in between. You will occasionally make bad decisions. You might even get fired or laid off. Time will come for you, too, changing your body, the way you look, and eventually, your mind.

Life is a mixed bag, and things are going to happen. But when your feelings of self worth hinge upon achievements and how you’re viewed in the eyes of others (because you struggle do it yourself) it puts you in a precarious position, emotionally and psychologically.

How Difficulty Loving Yourself Impacts Your Relationships

While struggling to love yourself seems like it would only impact the primary target (you), it does impact others too. Here’s why: As we have discussed, people who really, fundamentally don’t feel good about themselves on the inside must look to others for affirmation, acceptance, and positive regard to regulate themselves. They often need a constant stream of praise and validation from other people in order to feel okay about themselves.

When their partners turn out to be fellow humans who also have complex needs, rights and feelings, (and complaints! and get upset sometimes too!) people who struggle with low self-worth often feel anxious, criticized, and unloved. When their partner can’t always be kind and patient and overtly loving and approving of them, they tend to fall apart and get pretty anxious and even angry.

Because they are unable to support themselves emotionally from the inside out when their partners are upset with them or needing something from them, their partner not being okay feels very threatening to them. It is not uncommon for people who struggle to love themselves to be emotionally reactive, lashing out at their partners, or withdrawing emotionally from relationships as a form of self protection.

Furthermore, because people with low self-worth will often twist themselves into knots to be pleasing if not perfect, they can struggle with authenticity and vulnerability. Because they struggle to love themselves, and worry they’re not good enough, they fear that if people really get to know them they will be rejected. This can make them withhold their true thoughts and feelings from others, and make them feel like they need to maintain a “perfect” facade that, while helping them feel safer, truthfully deprives them of the ability to connect on a deep level with others.

In other, even sadder situations, people who struggle to love themselves can find themselves in bad relationships with people who do not treat them well at all. People with low self-worth may wind up staying in these toxic relationships for too long, because the criticism, shaming, and bullying they experience with their partner matches the abusive inner dialogue they have inside of themselves. It’s difficult for them to believe that they deserve better, and they have a hard time leaving the toxic relationship they feel stuck in. [More on this: “How to Leave a Toxic Relationship, With Dignity”]

How to Love Yourself Unconditionally

Healing these wounds and developing authentic self-love and self-worth is a process, not a decision or an event.

People are damaged by experiences and in relationships with others, and they are healed by experiences and in relationships with others. The first step in being able to love yourself is often to cultivate a supportive, unconditionally positive relationship with a great therapist who is able to be emotionally safe and affirming. This emotionally safe relationship creates the crucible whereby the person who struggles with low self worth can finally feel safe and accepted enough to begin revealing their true selves and the old core beliefs about themselves that they’ve been carrying.

Over the months, sometimes years, this precious, fragile person and their therapist can begin to question some of those beliefs (carefully, so as not to trigger too much self criticism and shame) and explore — from an adult perspective — the fact that there may have been other explanations for their life experiences besides their being inherently bad and unworthy of love. They can begin to create a new narrative about themselves and new core beliefs that include a deep sense of security, rooted in the fact that they are actually good people, worthy of love and respect… and they always have been.

Self Love = Emotional Strength

Over time, healing happens. People working through low self-worth often need to process a great deal of anger and pain in later stages of healing. But in doing so, they begin the process of learning how to validate themselves. They begin unhooking their sense of self-worth from how other people view them, as well as their achievements. They acquire the ability to decide, for themselves, that they deserve to be angry when mistreated, and that they have the right to set boundaries.

Most importantly, they develop the ability to internalize a self-supporting inner dialogue that coaches them through challenging moments and reminds them of their inherent worthiness even when other people are upset with them, when they fail, or are not as perfect as they’d like to be. Through the development of this self-supporting adult core, they become able to finally feel okay about themselves and emotionally stable no matter what is going on around them. They develop self-compassion, the ability to forgive themselves, and often start practicing good self-care. They become able to assertively advocate for themselves, make healthy decisions, and not fall apart when other people aren’t mirroring admiration back at them.

As they become more self-stabilizing, their relationships stabilize. Over time, this creates a positive spiral up where they start feeling good about themselves, and genuinely have a great life and healthy relationships — all of which supports the new narrative they internalize that says, “See? You are worthy of love and respect.”

The path is long and hard, but so, so worth it.

If my sharing this perspective has resonated with you, I sincerely hope that you seek the support of a great therapist who can be a safe person for you as you embark upon this journey of growth and healing. You deserve it.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Ps: When you read this article it may have made you think not of yourself, but of someone else in your life. If so, I hope you share this with them so that these words might provide them with clarity and direction, as well as hope and affirmation. On behalf of them, thank you for supporting their growth and personal evolution…. LMB

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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

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