Intentional Living — How To Not Panic In the PANIC

Intentional Living — How To Not Panic In the PANIC

Intentional Living — How To Not Panic In the PANIC

Living Intentional 

As an online therapist and life coach, and strong proponent of intentional living, I am keenly aware that we all are being greatly impacted by COVID-19 and feeling the collective stress all around us. This may be a good time to take heed of our own behavior and how we choose to engage this unsettling reality unfolding daily, without spiraling into a panic. 

The Antidote To A Panicked Mind Is An Intentional Mind

1. Be intentional with what you allow in.

 As a therapist, I like to encourage my clients to stay informed yes, but try limiting the amount of time that you spend on social media sites. The antidote to a panicked mind is an intentional mind.

Before checking the latest coronavirus pandemic updates, doing this one thing can make all the difference in keeping your stress at healthy, manageable levels. Set the intention to answer the “why” before you start spending an inordinate amount of time scrolling through your newsfeed.

I have clients, for example, who tell me that they find themselves frantically reading articles streaming across their computer screen, hoping to assuage their fears. Mindlessly reading distressing information can produce even more anxiety.

When we let our minds fall into a fear trap, without us even realizing it, we are giving our power away. We are relinquishing control over our choices, which can leave us feeling even more helpless. We do have control over our minds and how we take care of our mental diets. 

2. Set An Intention That Helps You To Be Clear About Your Choices

Set an intention that helps you to be clear about your choices, such as why you are choosing to read “this” article, so that you aren’t unconsciously engaging with a worry-mind from the outset. (Here are more tips for managing coronavirus anxiety.) Otherwise, you may be making yourself vulnerable to “downloading” insurmountable amounts of stressful information with no protective self-care parameters in place. 

By setting an intention, this can help you make deliberate choices that serve your overall wellbeing. Your intention may be: I am taking the necessary precautions to keep myself, loved ones, and others safe. 

Then determine a healthy time-limit for watching or reading news, maybe it’s no more than 30-minutes (your vagus nerve will thank you; more on this in a minute.) And be intentional about deciding what information is helpful and what information is not helpful, so that you are not causing unnecessary stress, as this has been shown to weaken the immune system, which is not what you want.  

3. Emotionally Regulate Yourself

Now let’s talk about the vagus nerve as I mentioned above. This nerve plays such a huge role in our stress response, as it is connected to the parasympathetic system, the part of the nervous system working synergistically to allow for optimal and harmonious functioning – essentially the queen “regulator” influencing your stress response. Which is to say that it is important to take care of your vagus nerve so that it takes care of you! One way you can do this is to start your day with an intentional, mindfulness breathing meditation. 

Deep breathing helps us to calm and regulate our “emotional control center,” so to speak. And the more we emotionally regulate ourselves, the more we can respond to stress – something a panicked heart simply can’t do. 

4. Check-and-Balance Yourself Often

So intention setting is like having a “superpowered” way to check-and-balance yourself often. You can ask yourself:  Am I acting from a place of fear? You can start doing this with every activity, like eating. If you think: I have to eat more whole foods or I’m going to get sick! This can actually work against your well-meaning intention and bring on added stress.

Practice setting pure intentions and affirming when you eat healthy foods, for instance, I am nourishing and replenishing my body and supporting my body’s innate desire to take care of me. (Check out: Developing a Healthy Relationship With Food)

5. Get Into The Habit Of “Intentionalizing” Your Day To Keep Panic At Bay

Now is a really good time to focus inwardly, establish self-reflecting routines, act more consciously, accept the as-is showing up in your life right now, so that you can navigate the isness of your present situation while allowing a new context to emerge. 

As you practice calm and acceptance, you are inviting the wherewithal to adapt into your life. It may mean establishing new routines, discovering new ways to stay connected and relevant. 

This is all made possible when we start by quarantining ourselves for any “emotional viruses” that are keeping us from being the superpowered, creative shapeshifters that we are – and that is so essential to cultivate into our lives right now.  

I hope that you read this and start “intentionalizing” your day. 

Warmly, 

Amy-Noelle Shih, M.A., LPC

PS. Connect with me and join the conversation on Instagram @growing_self! Also, my colleague Dr. Lisa created a short video demo-ing a great breathing technique to help lower stress available for you on Instagram too.

Amy-Noelle Shih, M.A., LPC is a powerful, dynamic, couples counselor, individual therapist and life coach with a direct, authentic approach to personal growth. Her style is as affirming and positive as it is effective, and all about helping you create alignment and joy in yourself and in your relationships.

Let’s  Talk

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Real Help, To Move You Forward

 

Everyone experiences challenges, but only some people recognize these moments as opportunities for growth and positive change.

 

 

Working with an expert therapist or life coach can help you understand yourself more deeply, get a fresh perspective, grow as a person, and become empowered to create positive change in yourself, your relationships and your life.

 

 

Start your journey of growth today by scheduling a free consultation.

Intentional Living — How To Not Panic In the PANIC

Intentional Living — How To Not Panic In the PANIC

Are you feeling the collective stress from the Coronavirus? Doing this one thing can make all the difference in managing your stress levels and keeping panic at bay. Houston Therapist and Online Life Coach, Amy-Noelle Shih, M.A., LPC shares her number one antidote to a stressed mind. Read it here…

Couples Communication Strategies For Stressful Times

Couples Communication Strategies For Stressful Times

Couples Communication and Coronavirus: Expert marriage counselor Silas Hendrich shares his insight into how stress impacts relationships, and the communication strategies that will help you stay emotionally connected and get through hard times together. New podcast!

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

Corona Life: How to Cope

Coronavirus anxiety? Struggling with the new reality of “Corona Life?” You’re not alone. I recently polled some of my tribe on Instagram to see how they were doing mentally and emotionally during the Coronavirus crisis we are all experiencing together. I learned that anxiety about Coronavirus is running rampant, and that lots of people are struggling to find ways to manage the stress of their disrupted lives. Kids are out of school, they’re stuck at home, they’re cut off from their social networks, and extremely worried about aging parents and their health and safety — not to mention their future.

This is a lot to deal with. In efforts to help you manage Coronavirus anxiety and cultivate emotional resilience, I am devoting this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to addressing your questions about coping with “Coronavirus Life” in order to provide new ideas and direction.

Specifically:

  • “I am freaking out about Coronavirus. How do I stop worrying about getting sick? Or being worried that people I love will get Coronavirus?”
  • “I’m having anxiety about separation during the Coronavirus quarantine, and I am so sad about being cut off from everyone. What do I do?”
  • “What are some of the best self-care strategies for dealing with Coronavirus stress?”
  • “Being cooped up at home with my spouse is taking a toll on my relationship. How do we handle the stress of this situation without damaging our relationship?”
  • “I’m so worried about my financial future thanks to Coronavirus. What do I do?”
  • “Coronavirus has destroyed my life. I can’t deal with the uncertainty of not knowing what is happening.”

I’m answering these listener questions and sharing some special, free resources for my listeners on this episode. I hope this discussion and the resources I’m sharing helps you find new coping skills, and practices that help build a firm foundation of emotional resilience inside yourself right now.

Wishing you all the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Coronavirus Life: How to Cope

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: Lobo Loco, “Sometimes It Rains”

Spread the Love Happiness & Success

Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Denver Marriage Counselor Denver Life Coach Denver Therapist

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC

"Hi, I'm Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby. For over a decade, I've been helping people all over the world create Love, Happiness and Success in their lives through positive, compassionate and effective Marriage Counseling, Therapy and Life Coaching. I'm so pleased to be able to help you, too. There is help for you here, and I'm glad you've found us.

This website is devoted to your wellbeing, and offers loads of free information and actionable advice that you can start using today to create positive change in your life. Browse around to meet our experts, get free advice on our blog, listen to a podcast, or take our "How Healthy is Your Relationship" quiz. Or, if the time is right, you can schedule a free consultation with any of us to talk about your situation -- and, most importantly -- your hopes for your future." -- Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

We Are Personal Growth Experts

Denver Marriage Counselor Denver Life Coach Denver Therapist

Hunter Tolman, M.S., MFT-C

“Hello, I’m Hunter Tolman and I’m excited to partner with you in your journey towards a happier and more fulfilling life.

My passion is helping people just like you reach their highest potential both individually, and in their most important relationships. 

Whether we work together in couples counseling, family therapy, individual therapy, or life coaching, my focus will be understanding your deepest desires for your marriage, your family, and yourself so that I can help you create your most gratifying life. Our work can help you heal, gain understanding and compassion for yourself and others, and live with intention.” 

Denver Marriage Counselor Denver Life Coach Denver Therapist

Amanda Shaeffer, M.S., MFT-C

“Hi, I’m Amanda. I can help you understand yourself more deeply so that you can become empowered to make positive changes in yourself, and your relationships.

I became a therapist, life coach and marriage counselor after a career as an educator, and I believe I still have the heart of a teacher. My approach emphasizes learning and practicing new skills, so that you're not just talking about change — you're living it.

I'm available to meet with you for therapy, marriage counseling and coaching in Denver, Broomfield, and also online."

Denver Marriage Counselor Denver Life Coach Denver Therapist

Brenda Fahn, M.A., LMFT

“Hi, I’m Brenda. I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and Life Coach with almost twenty years of experience in helping my clients strengthen themselves and their marriages.

I use positive and effective individual counseling, for both adults and teenagers, marriage counselingpremarital counselinglife coaching, and dating coaching. I am here to help you enjoy your relationships with your partner; recover from depression and anxiety be able to live a more fulfilling life and cultivate meaning, joy, and love in your life.” 

Denver Marriage Counselor Denver Life Coach Denver Therapist

Anastacia Sams, M.A., LPC, MFTC

“Hi, I’m Anastacia. I'm a Couples Counselor, Colorado-Licensed Therapist, and Life Coach with years of experience in helping people heal and grow. My approach is holistic, and helps you connect your mind, body and spirit. My compassionate, non-judgmental way of being will help you feel understood, and safe enough to talk about the most vulnerable things.

Whether you're struggling with hard feelings, coping with a breakup, or facing a big life transition, I can help you move confidently and authentically forward into a joyful and satisfying new future. I'm available to meet with you in our Denver Colorado office and our Denver Tech Center office,  as well as through online video."

Fort Collins Career Coach Fort Collins Life Coach Fort Collins Therapist

Lisa Jordan, M.A., LCPC

"Hi, I’m Lisa Jordan, M.A., LPC.  I have an affirming, compassionate approach to helping people not just get through hard times but grow from them. Working with me can give you clarity about the past and a new understanding of yourself in the present, so that you can build a bright future.

I use a blend of thoughtful, insightful counseling and strategic, solution-focused coaching to get you unstuck and moving forward again. I am licensed as a therapist in Illinois, and available to meet with you online."

Fort Collins Career Coach Fort Collins Life Coach Fort Collins Therapist

Silas Hendrich, M.S., MFTC

"I'm Silas, a therapist, life coach and couples counselor with Growing Self. I've had my therapy and coaching clients share that my down-to-earth style and sense of humor help them feel comfortable, and like they can talk about anything with me.

If we work together, I'll help you understand yourself more deeply so that you can heal, grow, and make positive changes. I'm available to meet with you for therapy in Broomfield, Colorado and for online life coaching.

Fort Collins Career Coach Fort Collins Life Coach Fort Collins Therapist

Georgi Chizk, M.S., MFTC

"Hey there! I'm Georgi. I specialize in marriage counseling, premarital counseling and therapy. I have a very warm, gentle approach that helps you feel safe, comfortable and understood. I can help you heal and growth through compassionate, evidence based therapy that helps you cultivate self-esteem and feel good about yourself.

I am available to meet with you for therapy or marriage counseling in Bentonville, Arkansas. If you are a resident of Arkansas, I'm able to meet with you for online therapy or online marriage counseling."

Fort Collins Career Coach Fort Collins Life Coach Fort Collins Therapist

Tomauro Veasley, M.A., MFTC

"I'm Tomauro Veasley, and I'm a therapist, couples counselor and certified life coach who is all about helping you feel good again. I have a positive, action oriented style that emphasizes helping you make real-world changes to get better results in yourself, your life and your relationships. 

I am available for online therapy if you live in Tennessee, but I work with people across the US and internationally as a life coach online."

How to Stay Stress Free

How to Stay Stress Free

How to Stay Stress Free

The Art of Cultivating Calm

Do you feel like it’s hard to manage the stress of it all? If you’re like so many of our high-achieving type-A life coaching and therapy clients here at Growing Self, you probably have days when you’re feeling spread thin. Let’s face it: Staying on top of everything is a lot! Between managing a high-impact career, running a household, staying on top of laundry, groceries, personal projects, having a high quality relationship with your partner, and perhaps a kid or three PLUS finding time to self care, take occasional showers, and maintain your friendships… whew! We’re all going in a thousand different directions, and it can feel extremely stressful. The idea that you stay stress free sounds like an unattainable dream.

This is especially true when you feel, like so many people do, that you’re struggling to stay on top of it all. When we become overly busy, things start to slip! When you’re rushed, it’s hard to stay organized. When you’re going a zillion miles an hour, you start to forget things, lose things, and feel less and less organized. That leads to feeling even more stressed and out of control, and then it’s even harder to keep up. It’s a downward spiral of stress, mess, and panic. Not a sustainable way to live!

How To Stay Stress Free (Really!)

So… how do you get off the hamster wheel of modern life and stay stress free? How do you begin to get yourself organized and back in control? Most importantly, how do you create a sustainable system that allows you to not just do the things that you need to do but manage your life in such a way that you don’t constantly feel like a frantic stress-ball?

My guest on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, Marilyn Paul, PhD, is here to show us how. Dr. Paul has been on the faculty of Yale Medical School and Massachusetts General Hospital School, and is the author of “It’s Hard to Make a Difference When You Can’t Find Your Shoes” as well as “An Oasis of Time: How a Day of Rest Can Save Your Life.” Dr. Paul is an expert in time management and personal organization by professional training… but she’s also a fellow traveler with powerful stories about the life lessons she’s learned as someone who has also struggled to keep up with it all.

If you have days when you feel like you’re drowning, I hope you listen to this conversation. (And yes, totally okay if you’re listening to this while you’re multi-tasking ten other things at the same time: I get it!) But you’ll be glad if you can fit this in to your day: Dr. Paul shares so many insights and tips, and compassionate, empowering ideas that you can use ASAP to cultivate calm and order in your life, so that you can feel genuinely stress free from the inside out.

Your partner in growth,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

How to Stay Stress Free

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Spread the Love Happiness & Success!

Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

More Love, Happiness and Success Advice

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

If you’re struggling with our new “Coronavirus Life”, you’re not alone and help is here. Get practical tips to take care of your mental health, your relationship, access to free resources, and new ideas to help you manage Coronavirus anxiety on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

Covid 19 Anxiety: How to Cope

Covid 19 Anxiety: How to Cope

Anxious about Coronavirus? On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we’re talking about effective, evidence-based cognitive behavioral therapy strategies you can use to manage “Covid 19 anxiety” and stay mentally and emotionally well during this challenging time.

Dating After Divorce

Dating After Divorce

If your last relationship ended painfully, it can be hard to think about dating again. Here’s some compassionate advice from a dating coach to help you move forward, when the time is right.

Nutrition and Mood

Nutrition and Mood

Your mind and body are connected, and how you care for yourself impacts the way you feel emotionally. Here are some easy ways to nourish yourself, and boost your mood in the process.

How to Stay Stress Free

How to Stay Stress Free

If you feel like a stress-ball flying in a thousand directions, you’re not alone and… help is here. Learn how to stay stress free and cultivate calm, on this episode of the podcast.

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

If you’ve been trapped in a toxic relationship it can be hard to leave. Getting support, perspective and insight from others can help you find the clarity you need to break free. Shannon Ashley is a toxic relationship survivor, and she’s on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast with an empowering message of growth and healing….

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

Breaking Free From a Toxic Relationship

LEAVING TOXIC RELATIONSHIP? Or thinking about it? If so, my heart goes out to you: You’ve already been through the wringer. As a therapist who specializes in toxic relationship addiction, and having researched and written a breakup recovery book, I know from years of experience that when you’re addicted to a toxic relationship, it messes with your mind. Toxic relationships trash your self esteem. They damage your ability to trust. But even worse, after tolerating months or even years in a toxic relationship it can make you feel like you can’t even trust your own judgement anymore.

This is completely understandable. For the record, anyone can get mixed up in a toxic relationship. Having this experience doesn’t mean that there’s something wrong with you. It’s happened to me, too. It’s easy to get sucked in to an exciting, passionate relationship that makes you feel the chemistry you’ve been longing for. The early stages of toxic relationships often feel like what we believe “true love” is supposed to feel like — intense, obsessive, and all consuming.

This very reason is why toxic relationships are SO confusing. They are, by definition, fraught with the highest of highs. When you’re in an unhealthy relationship, there is an elation when you connect, a sense of “completeness” when you’re with the person you have such intense feelings for… but also the lowest of the lows. And the lows always come. Being mistreated, emotionally abused, betrayed, and having your boundaries crossed (and crossed and crossed) are also part of the experience of being in a toxic relationship. Throw in a little gaslighting, and after a while, you don’t even know which way is up anymore.

Why It’s So Hard To Leave a Toxic Relationship

Even if you know (intellectually) that it’s time to cut the cord to a toxic relationship, it’s easier said than done. Relationship addiction is a very real thing, and just like an alcoholic or substance abuser can have an unhealthy, yet very real, bond to a substance…you can also have an unhealthy attachment to another person. And just like any other addiction, being addicted to a toxic relationship isn’t something you can just quit easily. Breaking free from a toxic relationship is a recovery process that takes time, self-awareness, growth, and a lot of support.

Before you can leave a toxic relationship, if you’re like many people, you’re wrestling with questions that need to be answered before you feel confident to move on. Relationship questions like, “How do you know if a relationship is toxic?” or “Can a toxic relationship be saved?” or “What are toxic traits in a relationship?” are all very common questions, because when you’re in a toxic relationship…. it can be hard to tell. What’s normal in a relationship? What’s a toxic relationship? What’s a deal breaker, for ME?

Having the time and space to reflect, reconnect with yourself, and get those questions answered are a vital part of the healing process. For many people, the strength and clarity they need to cut the cord for once and for all only comes after they’ve answered those questions.

How to Recover From a Toxic Relationship

As a therapist who has worked with countless people around toxic relationship addiction, I know that getting clarity is not just the most important first step of healing — it can be one of the biggest challenges in recovering from a toxic relationship. Especially if you’ve already been mistreated, had your boundaries crossed, and are questioning your own judgment – you really need an outside perspective to help you reconnect with your own inner wisdom about what’s okay, what’s not okay, and what you need to do. Even more importantly, you need support and guidance to help you do the hard and often painful of breaking free from a toxic relationship.

That is why connecting with other supportive people, whether it’s a good therapist or wise life coach, or supportive person who’s lived through this themselves, can be so crucial.

Leaving Toxic Relationships: New Podcast

In order to provide you with the empowering support and perspective that can support YOUR growth and recovery, I’ve invited writer Shannon Ashley to join me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Shannon writes (and so well!) about topics like relationships, self-esteem, emotional health and wellness, and more for Medium.com, and other outlets. She has also written extensively about HER lived experience in a toxic relationship, and about the journey of growth that helped her break free.

Shannon is not the type of “official” relationship expert that I often have on the show — she’s so much more. She’s a fellow traveler who has walked through the fire, and come out the other side. She has been able to give a voice to the experience that you’re going through, and she has a unique perspective on what it really takes to heal from a toxic relationship. I’m so pleased that she’s here to share her hard won wisdom with YOU today.

If you’re struggling to break free from a toxic relationship, I hope that you listen. (Or, if reading this makes you think not of yourself, but of someone you love who may be dealing with this, I hope you share this episode with them.)

Wishing you all the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: If you’re in an “iffy” relationship and want to get clarity about whether it’s healthy or not, consider taking my free “How Healthy is Your Relationship” quiz. Here’s the link.

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Breaking Free From a Toxic Relationship

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Spread the Love Happiness & Success!

Please Rate, Review & Share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

More Love, Happiness and Success Advice

Couples Communication Strategies For Stressful Times

Couples Communication Strategies For Stressful Times

Couples Communication and Coronavirus: Expert marriage counselor Silas Hendrich shares his insight into how stress impacts relationships, and the communication strategies that will help you stay emotionally connected and get through hard times together. New podcast!

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

If you’re struggling with our new “Coronavirus Life”, you’re not alone and help is here. Get practical tips to take care of your mental health, your relationship, access to free resources, and new ideas to help you manage Coronavirus anxiety on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

Covid 19 Anxiety: How to Cope

Covid 19 Anxiety: How to Cope

Anxious about Coronavirus? On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we’re talking about effective, evidence-based cognitive behavioral therapy strategies you can use to manage “Covid 19 anxiety” and stay mentally and emotionally well during this challenging time.

Dating After Divorce

Dating After Divorce

If your last relationship ended painfully, it can be hard to think about dating again. Here’s some compassionate advice from a dating coach to help you move forward, when the time is right.

Nutrition and Mood

Nutrition and Mood

Your mind and body are connected, and how you care for yourself impacts the way you feel emotionally. Here are some easy ways to nourish yourself, and boost your mood in the process.

How to Stay Stress Free

How to Stay Stress Free

If you feel like a stress-ball flying in a thousand directions, you’re not alone and… help is here. Learn how to stay stress free and cultivate calm, on this episode of the podcast.

How to Be More Vulnerable in Relationships

How to Be More Vulnerable in Relationships

Do you keep your walls up with others? If so, you might be missing out on fully authentic and emotionally intimate relationships. Learn how to open up, and use the power of vulnerabiliy to create connection.

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

Leaving Toxic Relationship?

If you’ve been trapped in a toxic relationship it can be hard to leave. Getting support, perspective and insight from others can help you find the clarity you need to break free. Shannon Ashley is a toxic relationship survivor, and she’s on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast with an empowering message of growth and healing….

The Power Of Connection

The Power Of Connection

The Power Of Connection

You Were Built To Bond

So many of us, around this time of year, are working on achieving important personal goals. Many times, our hopes are to rid ourselves of bad habits, unhealthy attachments, and to cultivate positive, energizing new practices, relationships, and lifestyle changes. All to the good… but, as you know if you’ve ever tried, easier said than done.

People can get very upset with themselves when they “fail” to quickly and easily break their bonds to unhelpful behaviors and habits. They shame themselves, feel bad about themselves and can start to feel very discouraged. This is not only not helpful, it’s also based on entirely incorrect assumptions: That making a decision to change, to stop doing something, or start doing another should easily and effortlessly lead to change itself.

Not. True.

One of the key ideas that can completely transform the way you think about changing anything is to consider unhelpful habits or non-ideal practices as things that are currently serving an important purpose in your life — whether you like it or not. Everything we do is, on some level, in service of our core needs.

For example, You have legitimate needs for comfort, for safety, for soothing, and for connection. If you have a bad habit that you’re finding hard to shake, it’s very likely that habit is fulfilling a basic need. Understanding that everything, even behaviors and habits that seem on the surface to be unhelpful or even unhealthy are serving an important purpose for you can open the door to a new, compassionate way of understanding why you do what you do… as well as point the way towards a different, more effective path of growth and change.

Consider this idea: What emerging research into neuroscience is pointing to is the fact that human beings are hardwired to BOND. Ideally, we bond to healthy people and have satisfying relationships. But we can also bond to other things, like gratifying behaviors, substances of abuse, and unhealthy relationships. Your brain is actually built that way! It can be diabolically easy to become bonded to something that’s basically a placeholder for what you really need: safety, security, soothing, love, and connection. (Looking at you, emotional eating!)

By understanding your authentic, deep needs for comfort, emotional safety and connection, you can begin to release unhelpful bonds to behaviors that — while they may meet your needs — are doing so in a “non ideal way.” From this place of enlightenment, self-awareness, and empowerment you can then intentionally create healthy new bonds to things, behaviors and people who energize and nourish you.

The Power of Connection

A leading expert in these new ideas is Jennifer Nicholaisen. Jennifer is the executive director of an addiction treatment center called Seek Healing. She and her colleagues view these emerging ideas about human connection, the power of bonding, and the basic need for emotional safety as THE healing force behind substance abuse recovery. They view the process of addiction recovery as one of breaking unhealthy old bonds (to substances), and establishing healthy new ones to emotionally safe people. Participants in her compassionate program learn how to create healthy connections with other people — connections that feel so powerful that their previous bonds to substances are able to be released.

It’s powerful stuff. And today, Jennifer is with me on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast to share her insights with YOU about how you, too, can intentionally cultivate healthy bonds and use the power of connection to create healing and health in your own life.

I hope you listen to this very special episode, and that it provides you with a helpful new perspective for understanding yourself and others.

All the best,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

 

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

Relationship Advice: Listener's Relationship Questions, Answered

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Spread the Love Happiness & Success

Please Rate, Review & share the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

iTunes

Stitcher

Google Play

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She’s the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Let’s  Talk

Related Post

Intentional Living — How To Not Panic In the PANIC

Intentional Living — How To Not Panic In the PANIC

Are you feeling the collective stress from the Coronavirus? Doing this one thing can make all the difference in managing your stress levels and keeping panic at bay. Houston Therapist and Online Life Coach, Amy-Noelle Shih, M.A., LPC shares her number one antidote to a stressed mind. Read it here…

Tips to Survive Quarantine with Kids

Tips to Survive Quarantine with Kids

Looking for survival tips while in quarantine with kids? We get it! Jessica Small, M.A., LMFT is a Denver-based Marriage Therapist and Parenting Coach. Today she’s bringing you the Survival Manual (7 Tips for surviving this quarantine with kids) when you might just need it the most! Read now…

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

Coronavirus Life: Practical Advice To Help You Cope

If you’re struggling with our new “Coronavirus Life”, you’re not alone and help is here. Get practical tips to take care of your mental health, your relationship, access to free resources, and new ideas to help you manage Coronavirus anxiety on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.

Covid 19 Anxiety: How to Cope

Covid 19 Anxiety: How to Cope

Anxious about Coronavirus? On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast we’re talking about effective, evidence-based cognitive behavioral therapy strategies you can use to manage “Covid 19 anxiety” and stay mentally and emotionally well during this challenging time.

Dating After Divorce

Dating After Divorce

If your last relationship ended painfully, it can be hard to think about dating again. Here’s some compassionate advice from a dating coach to help you move forward, when the time is right.

How to Stop Your Anxiety, Right Now.

How to Stop Your Anxiety, Right Now.

There are effective things you can do to help yourself when you’re feeling anxious. Here are a few mindfulness-based anxiety management strategies that I often share with my Denver therapy clients and online therapy clients. They work for me, my clients, and I bet they’ll work for you too.

Loading...