Bridging the Political Divide in Families: What Therapists Need to Know (with Dr. Bill Doherty)
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
Therapists, many of our clients are in crisis: Many of our clients are coming to us because they’re deeply saddened, angry, or even estranged from the people that they love the most… because of political differences. It is one of the most urgent challenges in many therapy rooms today, and most of us were never trained for it. That is why building therapist competencies for political conflict and learning strategies for counseling across political divides is essential.
In this powerful conversation, I am joined by one of the most respected thought leaders in our field: Dr. Bill Doherty. You may know him as the creator of the discernment counseling model for couples on the brink of divorce. More recently, his focus has turned to healing America’s ideological divide through his work with Braver Angels, a citizen-driven initiative that brings conservatives and liberals together for structured dialogue.
Dr. Doherty reminds us that therapists can play a role in bridging divides. Not by becoming activists, but by deepening our capacity to hold complexity, model emotional regulation, and stay connected in conflict. This episode is about building those muscles, both for your clients and for yourself.
Political Conflict in the Therapy Room
In recent years, more therapists have faced cases where the presenting issue is not just communication or attachment but political rupture. Clients are cutting off parents, partners, and lifelong friends over ideology. Others arrive angry, asking why someone they love could “support that.” Some seek validation, even permission, to end marriages because of political identity.
We are not immune. Therapists are human too. We have convictions, values, and reactivity that show up in the room. Dr. Doherty calls this internalized polarization. It is the buildup of stereotypes, ridicule, and contempt toward people who see the world differently. If we do not work with it internally, it leaks out in subtle ways. We may take sides or misattune when values conflicts arise, slip into self-disclosure that blurs boundaries, or even risk ethical violations that damage the therapeutic alliance.
Building Therapist Competencies for Political Conflict
So how do we develop the skills for counseling across political divides? According to Dr. Doherty, the process begins with three key practices: context, curiosity, and self-regulation.
Rather than aiming for neutrality, he invites us to get honest about our own ideological identity. This is not about acting out our politics in session. Instead, it is about recognizing how those beliefs shape our clinical lens. Just as we track family-of-origin influences and countertransference, we must also track our political selves. Resources on recognizing blindspots in cultural competence are helpful here.
From there, the work is relational. Dr. Doherty described a consultation case where a middle-aged client felt alienated from her elderly mother’s political activism. At first, the daughter only saw division. But when guided to notice the values beneath her mother’s choices—conviction, courage, civic engagement—she realized she held those values too. She did not agree with her mother’s politics, but she found recognition and compassion. That shift was healing.
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Counseling Across Political Divides: Practical Guidance
One of the most useful frameworks Dr. Doherty shared is Braver Angels’ Four Horsemen of Polarization. These warning signs can show up in clients, in therapists, and even in case consultation groups:
- Stereotyping
- Dismissing
- Ridiculing
- Contempt
When these patterns appear, we lose our grounding. They erode connection and harm our integrity as clinicians.
Instead, therapy should create space for the story behind the belief. Counseling across political divides is not about debating or persuading. It is about helping clients stay connected to themselves and to others, even in disagreement. That may include grief, disappointment, or setting healthy boundaries.
Dr. Doherty also encourages therapists to differentiate between words and actions. A loved one’s rhetoric may be upsetting, but unless it is paired with harmful behavior, it should not be treated as abuse. Our role is to help clients respond with clarity instead of contempt — which requires being mindful of the power dynamics in therapy).
Therapists can step into a leadership role by modeling grounded communication and guiding clients toward compassion without taking sides.
Braver Angels Free Courses for Therapists & Clients
If you want to grow your capacity for this work, Dr. Doherty and Braver Angels offer free resources. These e-courses are available to anyone, and they are especially helpful for therapists who want to build therapist competencies for political conflict both personally and professionally.
- Skills For Bridging the Divide
- Depolarizing Within
- Families and Politics
- Skills for Social Media
- Managing Difficult Conversations
These trainings are not only for client work. They also help therapists process their own polarization, stay grounded in sessions, and model healthier political communication — because therapists need to keep growing too.
Staying Connected
This episode with Dr. Doherty is a reminder that therapists do not need to avoid these issues. We need to become more skillful at holding them. With the right tools and awareness, counseling across political divides can become another way we help clients heal and maintain their most important relationships.
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Connect with me on LinkedIn. That is where I share reflections on the therapy field, stories from my own caseload, and honest conversations about what it means to be a clinician in today’s world. And if something from this conversation is still sitting with you or showing up in your work, I’d truly love to hear about it.
We are in this together.
xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Resources:
Brietzke, E. (2023). Understanding and navigating the repercussions of the politically polarized climate in mental health. Trends in Psychiatry and Psychotherapy, 45, e20210350. https://doi.org/10.47626/2237-6089-2021-0350
Yerushalmi, H. (2022). Therapists’ self-scrutiny during periods of polarisation. Psychodynamic Practice, 28(4), 406–420. https://doi.org/10.1080/14753634.2022.2098616
Cole, J. C. (2023). Social psychological perspectives on political polarization. Perspectives on Psychological Science, 18(6), 1294–1307. https://doi.org/10.1177/17456916231186409
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