Why Therapy Clients Ghost
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
In our work as therapists, it’s only a matter of time until therapy clients ghost — disappearing on us without notice or explanation.
At first, you may not even realize what has happened. Perhaps you worry about whether your client is okay, or wonder if you’ll hear from them again. Over time, it becomes clear that they’ve left without saying goodbye. This can feel hurtful and confusing. Just like in any other relationship, when a client ghosts it often leaves therapists questioning themselves, replaying sessions, and wondering what went wrong.
Unfortunately, dealing with a client who ghosts is part of being a therapist. At Growing Self, I’ve supported hundreds of clinicians in navigating this difficult professional experience. That’s why I created this article — and an episode of Love, Happiness, and Success for Therapists — to shed light on why clients ghost therapy, and what we can learn when it happens. While it’s never easy, understanding how to create more open communication with your clients can reduce ghosting and lead to better outcomes in the future.
The Connection Between Ghosting and Emotional Safety
Trust is the heartbeat of every therapeutic relationship. At times, clients may not feel comfortable enough to share their true feelings about the process, and they may decide to stop therapy — sometimes without a word. This is especially true for conflict-avoidant clients, people-pleasers, or those who struggle to be direct about their needs.
Our actions as therapists play a role here too. Cultivating emotional safety is essential. That doesn’t mean avoiding difficult topics; it means showing clients that authenticity and vulnerability are always welcome, even when uncomfortable.
Regular heart-to-hearts about their journey, progress, and experience in therapy bridge the gap and strengthen trust. Welcoming feedback — even when it stings — is what helps us grow alongside our clients.
Relationship Ruptures and Why Clients Ghost
Another reason therapy clients ghost is because of ruptures in the therapeutic alliance. A misunderstood boundary, an intervention that felt too sharp, or moving too quickly can lead to disconnection.
When this occurs, consultation and community become invaluable. I’ve leaned on trusted colleagues to process my blind spots and regain perspective. If you’re looking for that kind of support, consider the consultation and group practice opportunities available at Growing Self.
Ensuring Value and Progress in Every Session
Clients invest their time, energy, and trust in us. They deserve to feel that therapy is moving them forward. A plateau, however, can cause them to start questioning the value of the process — and sometimes, that’s when clients ghost.
Signs Your Client May Be Disengaging
To prevent disengagement, stay fully present, align your approach with their goals, and keep the path forward clear. Effective case conceptualization and transparent communication show clients you’re a reliable guide. It’s also important to recognize when it may be time to have an honest conversation about whether continuing therapy is in their best interest.
It’s Time To Take Care of You, Too.
You’re a hero, and you deserve support. Sign up below to be included in the conversation, and get weekly “for therapists” podcasts, thought provoking articles, best practices, industry insights, free resources, and self-care ideas delivered to your inbox.
When Therapy Isn’t Enough: Coaching as an Alternative
Not every client needs or benefits from traditional therapy. High-functioning individuals often seek personal growth rather than treatment for a mental health condition. For these clients, therapy can feel frustrating — they may leave because they want a more forward-focused approach.
How Coaching Supports Growth-Oriented Clients
For me, becoming certified as a coach transformed my work. Coaching enriched my practice, gave me new tools, and allowed me to meet clients where they are. When therapy clients ghost because therapy isn’t the right fit, coaching may be a powerful alternative.
Why Therapy Clients Ghost: Key Takeaways
When clients ghost therapy, it’s painful. Yet it’s also an opportunity to reflect:
- Am I creating emotional safety?
- Am I addressing ruptures openly?
- Am I ensuring value and progress in every session?
- Am I open to different modalities, like coaching, when appropriate?
Ghosting will happen from time to time. But with awareness and intentional practice, we can reduce the likelihood and create relationships where clients feel safe enough to stay engaged.
Let’s Keep Growing
When therapy clients ghost, it can stir up doubt and frustration. These moments, however, also invite us to pause, reflect, and recommit to the values that make this work meaningful. By staying open to feedback, tending to our own professional growth, and leaning into community, we not only support our clients more effectively — we support ourselves.
And since this podcast is created with you in mind, I’d love to know what’s on your heart. What questions do you have? What topics would you like me to unpack in future episodes? Let’s talk!
If you’d like to continue exploring these themes, let’s connect on LinkedIn! I’d love to hear your experiences with client ghosting or other challenges you’re navigating as a therapist.
And remember, you don’t have to do this work alone. My Free CEU Trainings For Therapists is always available with on-demand resources to strengthen you as a clinician and as a human.
xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Resources:
Hanevik, E., Røvik, F. M. G., Bøe, T., Knapstad, M., & Smith, O. R. F. (2023). Client predictors of therapy dropout in a primary care setting: A prospective cohort study. BMC Psychiatry, 23, 358. https://doi.org/10.1186/s12888-023-04878-7
Saxon, L. (2024). Novice psychotherapists’ experiences of premature termination of therapy (Master’s thesis, University of Ottawa). University of Ottawa Research Repository. https://ruor.uottawa.ca/bitstreams/ce1bfd58-5df7-4b76-b70b-aa07460b2269/download
Khazaie, H., Rezaie, L., Rezaei Payam, N., Najafi, F., & Moradi, M. R. (2016). Exploration of the reasons for dropping out of psychotherapy: A qualitative study. Clinical Psychology & Psychotherapy, 23(6), 546–553. https://doi.org/10.1002/cpp.1987
Subscribe, Share & Follow
The Love, Happiness & Success
For Therapists Podcast
