Mastering The Art of Modern Dating
As an international dating coach and Denver dating coach, I know that modern dating is challenging but can be very rewarding. All you need is the right strategy!
With the rise of online dating apps, things have gotten more complicated, and the rules have changed. The dating game has turned into a buffet of choices — looking for ‘the one’ has never been easier but with that ease comes new complications. Today we are talking about challenges, rewards, and tips for a great online dating profile.
The Starting Challenge of Online Dating: Endless Messaging
Dating has become much more digital. From endless texting to people coming across differently on the internet, you may be left wondering what the heck happened. Not only that, but it can feel like a sea of messages (and often repetitive ones at that). Keeping yourself above the water — carving out specific time to engage and then leaving it alone outside of those hours is essential for a less stress-induced online dating life.
But what do you do when you “just can’t help yourself” from reading the messages as they come in, in real-time? Set yourself up for success by allowing only a specified amount of time daily to view specific dating apps and then disallow notifications from flooding your screen. This way you can ensure peace of mind and a notification-free day outside of the available time slot that you’ve designated. Need a little help in setting this up? Google your phone and “screen time limits” to find helpful guides on how to set this up specifically for your phone’s make and model.
How to Find Success In Modern Dating
One of the great things about online dating is that you can make this work for you – if you know what to do! You need a multidimensional dating strategy. From personal branding to filtering your choices, making sure to connect with the one you are looking for is so important.
This is why dating coaching has become so popular in recent years – it’s like having a personal trainer for your dating life! You should have the same level of support and guidance as anyone else, without the fear of breaking the bank. Whether you are working with a dating coach one-on-one or enrolled in a course like our, Find the One online dating course, you can learn helpful ways to not only navigate the online dating world, but also learn to read red flags, better understand what you’re looking for, and find better ways of expressing what you’re looking for to potential partners.
Modern Dating Is Digitally Enhanced
Like it or not, in this day and age people are finding each other online. The small blue screen connecting us to the world is the modern equivalent of the dance hall or county fair, except instead of chatting up an attractive stranger that catches your eye you scroll, you assess, and you filter dozens of attractive strangers.
Here’s free advice from a dating coach: Finding “the one” requires intention and strategy. Among other things, it involves accepting the reality that you and your future beloved may only find each other after combing through hundreds of prospects. Modern dating means differentiating between potential possibilities and probably-nots in the blink of an eye. First impressions are often the only ones you get.
What this means for you, my friend, is that you need a really good online profile if you want to be successful with online dating. Here are my top tips for making your profile great.
4 Tips: How to Create A Great Online Dating Profile
Tip 1: Choose A Great Photo
Have a fantastic photograph that draws people in! Like it or not, you are first judged by your profile picture in this modern dating age. So, make sure that the image you choose communicates your authentic self in the best way possible – first impressions really do mean something!
Steer clear of any over-the-top filters and take your photo outdoors or in good lighting. Also, it can be tempting to use a group photo in order to ease the anxiety of “getting out there,” but you’re more likely to have success online dating if you use an image that has only YOU in it (yes, you can also have your dog in the photo if you’d like).
Tip 2: Get Clear About What You’re Looking For
Even before you start working on your online dating profile, take some time to think about what you are really looking for. Are you interested in a casual relationship? Are you looking for “the one”? Or are you just seeing where things go?
Once you have some clarity on what your end goal is, you will better be able to understand the kind of person you hope to attract and the kind of relationship you’d like to have.
You don’t want your profile to attract every person out there, it should be a filter to help you get in touch with the people you would really mesh well with. Be as open and honest as you’re comfortable with so that you can avoid awkward situations later down the dating road.
Tip 3: Be Specific About Yourself
Write specific information in your online dating profile about yourself and your life. This will help people really get a sense of who you are before they even meet you. This goes back to that filtering process, which helps the right people be more attracted to you while helping the wrong ones avoid you (and vice-versa!).
Answer the questionnaires, be playful, and enjoy sharing a little bit about yourself. You’ll have to share it eventually anyway!
Tip 4: Be Positive and Share Positivity
Your online dating profile is not the right time to mention what you don’t want or any kind of negative past experiences, so try to take an optimistic tone while creating your online dating profile.
Talk about what you do want in your life – this helps attract the right people to you and ensures that you are more likely to get what you want out of your dating life.
And if you find that you’re struggling to find and share positivity, it could be a sign that you may benefit from some deeper healing work. Whether that be by getting involved in one-on-one breakup recovery coaching or joining an online breakup recovery group (Growing Self offers a free Facebook group for anyone looking to connect with others going through a similar situation and experiencing similar emotions – just send me a message on FB and I’ll be happy to add you to the private breakup recovery group).
What are some tips that you have that I might not have mentioned above? Share with us in the comments below!
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, Denver Dating Coach:
Tips For a Great Online Profile
The Rules of the Dating Game Have Changed.
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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.
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