Can Therapists Give Advice? How to Empower Clients While Staying Ethical
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
Ever had a client look at you, desperate for help, and ask, “What should I do?” I hear from therapists all the time: “My clients are stuck, they need direction, and they’re asking me for advice. But I’m supposed to stay neutral, right?” On one hand, we want to help, but on the other, we’ve been trained to let the client find their own answers. So can therapists give advice? What’s the right move when your client is stuck and clearly craving direction?
In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success For Therapists, we’re diving into the inner conflict therapists face between sticking to our non-directive, empathetic listening style and providing the more concrete guidance that many clients are asking for.
I’ll also show how evidence-based coaching can complement therapy in a powerful way and provide direction in your sessions. You’ll get clear, actionable steps on how to navigate this tricky balance without stepping outside of your ethical boundaries.
Let’s dig in.
Why Can’t Therapists Give Advice?
Here’s the thing: As therapists, we’re trained to be non-directive. Our role is to be the empathetic listener, the one who helps clients discover their own insights. We use reflective listening, we ask questions, and we artfully hold space for their feelings to emerge. But at the core of it all, our clients are the experts of their own lives. It’s not our place to tell them what to do or impose our values.
But what if they’re coming to us for guidance, not just empathy?
This becomes especially tricky in therapy when the client needs clear, actionable advice, and we know exactly what would help them. It can feel like we’re holding the keys to their success, but we’re not allowed to unlock the door.
How Can Therapists Help Clients Without Giving Direct Advice?
While traditional therapy is often about creating space for the client to explore and discover their own answers, there are certain situations where being directive is necessary. Think trauma therapy like Internal Family Systems (IFS) or evidence-based practices like Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT). These models rely on structured protocols that help clients move forward in a very active, goal-oriented way.
In these cases, the therapist’s role does involve guiding the client step by step through a specific process, but you are still allowing them to come to their own conclusions.
Here’s where it gets tricky: this type of therapy is designed to treat clinical conditions and mental health concerns. When we’re working in a private practice setting where clients are seeking personal development or life coaching (and not behavioral healthcare), the boundaries become less clear.
Clients still want help, but they don’t necessarily have a mental health diagnosis. They just want to solve a problem, feel more confident, or reach specific goals. These clients can end up determining that therapy isn’t working for them and hiring a coach instead.
In these situations, clients often feel frustrated because they’re looking for guidance, not just someone to hold space for their feelings. This creates a disconnect. So, as therapists, we can feel trapped—they want advice, but we’re not supposed to give it. It’s like watching someone struggle while holding a life ring that you can’t throw to them.
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When Can Therapists Provide Direct Guidance to Clients?
I’m not going to sugarcoat it: The answer to this is complicated. In clinical therapy, it’s clear that we can’t tell clients exactly what to do, especially with major life decisions. But we can create a more active role for ourselves as facilitators of change.
If you’re in a private practice, working with nonclinical clients who are seeking growth, you may need to shift your mindset and recognize that coaching could be the modality you need. It’s not about giving advice or telling your clients what to do. It’s about partnering with them actively to generate ideas, explore options, and create a concrete action plan.
In the coaching space, you move from the role of just a listener to a guide who helps clients clarify their goals and move forward with confidence. The difference here is that coaching is not about healing or addressing clinical issues. It’s about personal development, making decisions, and achieving outcomes. This is usually why therapy clients hire coaches and leave the clinical setting behind.
The client is the expert of their own life—they just need a little help organizing their ideas and taking the next step. This is a powerful shift in perspective for therapists who want to feel more effective without stepping out of their ethical boundaries.
What Is The Role of a Therapist vs a Coach?
Now, don’t get too excited thinking that becoming a coach means you can suddenly give clients a 10-step plan for life. Even in coaching, you still don’t tell people what to do. Instead, you help them uncover their own answers in a much more active, collaborative way. It’s a partnership. You’re not telling them the answer, but you’re facilitating their movement into action.
And the beauty of coaching? It allows you to leverage the skills you already have as a therapist while adding new tools that align with what clients expect and actually want: clear direction and forward momentum. This is the kind of coaching that thrives in a nonclinical, growth-oriented environment—where your clients are healthy, motivated, and just need that little nudge to push them forward.
How Can Therapists Become Certified Coaches?
Okay, so let’s say you’re sold on this idea of offering more active, directive help. But now what? How do you transition from therapist to coach and incorporate these new skills into your practice?
Here’s where it gets exciting! If you’re feeling inspired by what I’ve shared, I’d love to invite you to take the next step in your professional development with my BCC-Accredited Coaching Certification for Therapists.
This program is designed specifically for therapists like you who want to build coaching competencies while staying within the ethical boundaries of your practice. It’s an accredited training program that will provide you with the skills to deliver more direct, client-centered guidance that will help your clients get the results they’re asking for. This isn’t just about theory—it’s about real-world application.
👉 Transform your practice by learning how to coach.
If you want to stay updated on the latest podcast episodes, learn about upcoming free CEU webinars, and be a part of a supportive professional network, I’d love to connect with you on LinkedIn! Find me at Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby. I share plenty of great tips, training opportunities, and insights to help you grow, develop new skills, and thrive as both a therapist and a coach!
I’d love to see you there.
Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
P.S. If you know a fellow therapist who could benefit from this information, share it with them! I believe in the power of collaboration and the more we learn from each other, the more we grow. Let’s support our community of therapists and keep learning together.
Resources:
Silver, E. (1991). Should I give advice? A systemic view. Journal of Family Therapy, 13(3), 295-309. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1046/j..1991.00429.x
GARFIELD, S. L., & Wolpin, M. (1963). Expectations regarding psychotherapy. The Journal of Nervous and Mental Disease, 137(4), 353-362. https://journals.lww.com/jonmd/citation/1963/10000/Expectations_Regarding_Psychotherapy.7.aspx
Prass, M., Ewell, A., Hill, C. E., & Kivlighan Jr, D. M. (2021). Solicited and Unsolicited Therapist Advice inPsychodynamic Psychotherapy: Is it Advised?. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 34(2), 253-274. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09515070.2020.1723492
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