Invisible Influence: What’s Really Driving Your Thoughts, Feelings & Behaviors?

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.

Have you ever wondered how much of what you do every day is really your choice?

What you eat, what you watch, even what you feel… All of it seems like it’s coming from you. But in reality, much of it is being quietly guided by invisible influences that shape your thoughts, habits, and emotions before you even realize it.

This week on the Love, Happiness and Success podcast, I sat down with Dr. Tatyana El-Kour, a psychologist and registered dietitian who studies how media, technology, and biology influence human behavior. Our conversation opened my eyes to how much of what we think of as “free will” is actually being shaped — not only by algorithms and digital ecosystems but also by our own biology.

What Is Invisible Influence?

Dr. El-Kour describes invisible influence as the subtle, unseen forces that guide how we think, feel, and act. Some are external — like the algorithms that quietly study our moods and vulnerabilities. Others are internal, operating through our biology and even the microbes in our gut.

What they share is power: they’re shaping you all the time, whether you notice or not.

As Dr. El-Kour puts it, “Algorithms are like your invisible nutritionist — except instead of helping you find balance, they often feed you digital junk food.” Just as unhealthy habits can affect your body, digital habits can impact your emotions and attention. You can learn more about these patterns in How to Become Influential — starting with yourself.

How Algorithms Shape What You Feel

Picture this: it’s late, you’re tired, and you pick up your phone for a little distraction. Suddenly, you’re scrolling food delivery apps, being shown exactly what you’re craving. Netflix cues up the next episode. TikTok feeds you clips that match your mood.

None of this is random. Behind the scenes, algorithms are learning when you’re most vulnerable, what keeps you engaged, and how to keep you coming back. They study your pauses, clicks, and engagement patterns to predict what will hold your attention next. Research from Cinelli et al. (2021) shows how this process narrows our worldview and reinforces existing beliefs — a phenomenon known as the echo chamber effect.

Over time, that reinforcement starts to feel like free choice. That’s the sneaky side of invisible influence.

Emotional Manipulation and Echo Chambers

One of the most surprising parts of our conversation was how digital systems don’t just reflect our emotions — they amplify them. Algorithms thrive on engagement. That means outrage, comparison, and anxiety are rewarded because they keep us scrolling.

This emotional manipulation creates echo chambers that reinforce negativity and polarization. For emotionally sensitive people, or those managing anxiety or body image issues, these loops can become harmful. They distort perception, trigger reactivity, and make it harder to stay balanced. Learn more about how emotional manipulation works in Manipulation in Relationships and Media.

Dr. El-Kour calls this affective alignment — when a system mirrors your emotions to keep you hooked. The more reactive you are, the more profitable you become.

Feeling stuck? Take my FREE quiz to find out what’s holding you back!

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The Invisible Influence Inside You: The Gut–Brain Connection

Invisible influence isn’t just digital — it’s biological. Your gut microbiome plays a major role in how you think, feel, and behave. Those trillions of bacteria in your gut don’t just digest food — they produce neurotransmitters like dopamine and serotonin that directly affect your mood, focus, and stress response.

When your microbiome is balanced, you feel calmer and more resilient. But when it’s disrupted — by stress, poor diet, or lack of sleep — you’re more prone to anxiety and emotional reactivity. Scientific research backs this up: Cryan et al. (2019) found that the gut–brain axis directly impacts mood regulation and mental health.

That means invisible influence operates from both outside and inside — algorithms nudge your attention while your biology shapes your reactions. To strengthen your inner balance, learn how to trust yourself and listen to what your body is telling you.

Recognizing and Resisting Invisible Influence

So, how do you take your power back from invisible influence?

Dr. El-Kour shared a few simple but powerful steps to build awareness and resilience:

Notice your patterns. Ask yourself, “When do I feel most on autopilot?” Becoming aware of your emotional and digital triggers helps you interrupt them. Go deeper by identifying your own blind spots in Uncover Your Hidden Obstacles.
Practice media and emotional literacy. Notice how what you consume shapes your mood. Curate your feeds intentionally, and choose input that nourishes you. This awareness helps you avoid common bad habits that drain focus and confidence.
Model healthy engagement. Set boundaries with technology that support balance and connection. For practical tools, check out Political Communication with Loved Ones — a real-world example of mindful interaction.
Strengthen your inner foundation. Eat well, rest, and care for your microbiome. Your body and mind are partners. As Berger & Milkman (2012) found in their study on viral content and emotional contagion, emotions spread quickly — so the steadier you are, the less likely you are to be swept away by emotional noise.

Awareness is the first step to freedom. When you can see the strings, you can start cutting them.

Reclaiming Awareness and Meaning

Invisible influence will always exist — but your awareness determines how much power it holds.

You can choose information that expands your thinking, habits that support your wellbeing, and relationships that reflect your values. When you live for meaning instead of manipulation, you begin to reshape your inner and outer worlds.

Start with this reflection: Living for Meaning — it’s about reconnecting with what’s truly yours.

Your Next Step: Look Beneath the Surface

If this conversation stirred something in you — maybe that quiet curiosity about why you do what you do — try my What’s Holding You Back? Quiz. It’s a short, reflective tool to help you uncover the hidden patterns and emotional habits that might be steering your choices without your awareness.

It’s free — and it’s designed to give you clarity, insight, and compassion so you can create meaningful change from the inside out.

Ready to Take the Next Step?

If you’d like personal support in understanding the invisible influences shaping your emotions, relationships, or daily choices, you’re invited to schedule a free consultation with one of our expert therapists or coaches. Together, we can help you build awareness, strengthen emotional resilience, and make more intentional choices that align with your values.

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast

00:00 The Hidden Power of Invisible Influence
02:00 How Algorithms Shape Your Choices and Emotions
09:30 Emotional Tracking and Predictive Technology
13:30 When Digital Nudges Impact Health and Body Image
18:00 The Psychology Behind Algorithmic Addiction
29:00 Echo Chambers, Polarization, and Cognitive Rigidity
38:00 How to Recognize and Resist Invisible Influence
43:15 The Gut-Brain Connection and Emotional Resilience
55:00 Reclaiming Awareness and Agency

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Resources:
Cinelli, M., Morales, G. D. F., Galeazzi, A., Quattrociocchi, W., & Starnini, M. (2021). The echo chamber effect on social media. Proceedings of the National Academy of Sciences, 118(9), e2023301118. https://doi.org/10.1073/pnas.2023301118

Berger, J., & Milkman, K. L. (2012). What makes online content viral? Journal of Marketing Research, 49(2), 192–205. https://doi.org/10.1509/jmr.10.0353

Cryan, J. F., O’Riordan, K. J., Cowan, C. S. M., Sandhu, K. V., Bastiaanssen, T. F. S., Boehme, M., Codagnone, M. G., Cussotto, S., Fulling, C., Golubeva, A. V., Guzzetta, K. E., Jaggar, M., Long-Smith, C. M., Lyte, J. M., Martin, J. A., Molinero-Perez, A., Moloney, G. M., Morelli, E., Morillas, E., … Dinan, T. G. (2019). The microbiota–gut–brain axis. Physiological Reviews, 99(4), 1877–2013. https://doi.org/10.1152/physrev.00018.2018

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Invisible Influence: What’s Really Driving Your Thoughts, Feelings & Behaviors?

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