New Relationship Anxiety

Anxiety About A New Relationship?

Are you on pins and needles, riddled with anxiety about a new relationship? You’re not alone. For most of our dating coaching clients, the “dating” part is not that hard. All you have to do is put a profile together, attend social functions with a smile on your face, and you’re going to have opportunities. Going on an actual date or three is not the biggest deal.

What IS the biggest deal, and what a lot of our Denver dating coaching clients ask for my honest dating advice about, is how to manage all the anxiety, insecurity, and angst about the unknown that comes with finding someone they really like and starting to see them regularly

That’s when all the questions come up: Should I text? When should I call? When is it time for us to take down our online dating profiles? Is it okay for me to bring up certain subjects? How do I show them that I like them without seeming too needy? Or should I play it cool? Are we moving too fast? Not fast enough? Is this going somewhere? Is it okay for me to ask that, or will that push them away? AGGGH. 

We associate this sort of obsessing about another person’s feelings for us with the horrific junior high experience of crushing. But, sadly, feeling anxiety when dating someone new is not just for fifteen-year-olds. Grown-a** people, even senior citizens, still struggle with feelings of angst and vulnerability when they’re in new relationships and they really, really don’t want to blow it.

New Relationship Anxiety: It’s a Thing

New relationships are incredibly anxiety-provoking, and for good reason. When you really like someone but aren’t sure how they feel about you, it’s all-consuming.  When romantic love starts to kindle in your heart, it actually changes the way you think and feel. 

When you feel like you cannot take your mind off of someone, and like you’re spending way too much mental and emotional energy on a brand-new person, it’s not just you. Nature designed that feeling of infatuation to weld you to another person. You might even find it hard to maintain your independence before the relationship has even begun.

It’s fierce: to have such intense feelings for a new person. And not knowing if your budding love is requited is the absolute worst.

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Dealing With Anxiety When Dating Someone New 

Early relationship anxiety can be hard to handle. It churns up all kinds of self doubt and questions. For this reason, in addition to the usual questions about dating coaching we get, we have been fielding questions about how to handle various situations in new relationships from our dating coaching clients, listeners of our podcast, readers of our blog, and even journalists.

 [Read more about our empowering approach to dating coaching on]

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Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I’m tackling some of your new relationship questions in hopes of putting some of that new relationship anxiety to rest. We’ll discuss:

  1. How to manage new relationship anxiety
  2. The stages of a new relationship
  3. New relationship questions
  4. When to bring up topics like dating exclusively and how you really feel
  5. Things to look for that indicate red flags and/or compatibility
  6. When you should move forward with dating someone who has a history of depression or other issues (and when to fold ’em).
  7. What to do when someone you like hasn’t called or texted in a while, or gives other signals that they might not be that into you
  8. How to put self-love and self-respect front and center in all new dating relationships
  9. How to move a new relationship forward without “scaring someone off”

All that, and more, on the podcast.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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New Relationship Anxiety

Free, Expert Advice — For You.

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Episode Outline:

  • Stages of a New Relationship
  • When to Bring Up Topics
  • Someone Who Used to Have Depression: Go or No?
  • Getting Mixed Signals
  • Putting Self-Worth Ahead
  • Red Flags and Compatibility

 Dating Coaching Questions

Great relationships are created intentionally, and they go through stages. Learn how to find love that lasts.

Do you need a dating coach, or dating consultant? Learn the top signs you might keep spinning your wheels without one…

Learn about what a dating coach is, and how they help you build a happy new relationship.

The best dating coaches are true relationship specialists: but finding them can be a challenge. Here’s how to find the best dating coach, for you.

If your goal is finding The One to build a life with, a good dating coach is priceless. At Growing Self, it’s also affordable. Learn how much a dating coach costs.

If you care about someone who could use support in learning how to date with intention and confidence, you can “gift” dating coaching sessions. Here’s how…

We offer expert relationship coaching and therapy to help you grow, love, and be loved. You can have the healthy relationship you deserve. Learn about working with a Denver dating coach.

We can help you create true love. Build confidence, self-awareness, and an enduring relationship with the one you’ve been looking for. Learn about our online dating coach services.

Get clarity, confidence, and a solid plan to find and connect with your person. You can learn the art and science of successful modern dating in our self-paced “Find The One” online dating class.

Get dating advice in The Dating Collection on our blog, and through the Love, Happiness, & Success Podcast.

If you have more questions about our dating coaching services, we’re happy to chat by phone, email, or text. Get in touch, anytime.

Ready to partner with a Growing Self dating coach? Book a free consultation with the coach of your choice. Start here.


  1. Hey Lisa,

    Loved all that you shared, full of Useful information.I can’t wait to dig deep.
    This is a great post- so clear and easy to follow.

    All your hard work is much appreciated.
    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead.
    Off to share!


  2. Hey Lisa,

    Loved all that you shared, full of Useful information.I can’t wait to dig deep.
    This is a great post- so clear and easy to follow.

    All your hard work is much appreciated.
    Thanks for sharing. Have a nice week ahead.
    Off to share!


  3. Hi Lisa,

    Me and my partner have been together for 4 months. In that time, it feels like we have always known each other and even at this point I cannot imagine him not in my life.
    My worry now is that everything was so great and at the beginning he made me feel super important. Inviting me around, bringing me flowers… however that has now dwindled off. The only time we see each other is when I have instigated this.
    To add – he is usually more than happy at this point to see me if he is available.
    My point is that, we have become so close and he is so important to me, I don’t feel as important to him and it causes anxieties. I don’t want to be the person he fits in around everything else in his life as and when he can. I want to be the one included in some of the things (not all – as I appreciate he still has his life).

    I also don’t need a relationship as I can be happy and content on my own. Being with him is something that just happened after we clicked and I thrived from his presence.
    However, there are times over the past couple of weeks he could have included me in 1 or 2 of the things he has going on. . . After looking into all the possibilities that would stop him having me there – nothing came up. Apart from ‘I am just not that important to him or on his mind to be a part of those things’… like I am being kept separate from everything.

    Am I being silly with it only being 4 months. Do I need to reign me feelings in to protect myself? I just don’t know. He’s so different from my ex partners and I get a different vibe from him completely. I don’t want to lose something special by overthinking and portraying that I want and deserve more 4 months in.

  4. Hi Becky, thank you for reaching out and sharing. My question for you is, have you talked to him about this? If you’ve read or listened to anything from Brene Brown (and if not, I recommend!), you know that vulnerability is the key to deep, intimate connection. By opening up communication, you have the opportunity to learn more about what’s going on with him, which may not have anything to do with you, not to mention share how much you enjoy your time together, what you’re looking for in a relationship, and see if you’re on the same page when it comes to quality time. Who has the energy for mind reading anyway? xoxo, Dr. Lisa

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