New Relationship Anxiety

Anxiety About A New Relationship?

Are you on pins and needles, riddled with anxiety about a new relationship? You’re not alone. For most of our dating coaching clients, the “dating” part is not that hard. All you have to do is put a profile together, attend social functions with a smile on your face, and you’re going to have opportunities. Going on an actual date or three is not the biggest deal.

What IS the biggest deal, and what a lot of our Denver dating coaching clients ask for my honest dating advice about, is how to manage all the anxiety, insecurity, and angst about the unknown that comes with finding someone they really like and starting to see them regularly

That’s when all the questions come up: Should I text? When should I call? When is it time for us to take down our online dating profiles? Is it okay for me to bring up certain subjects? How do I show them that I like them without seeming too needy? Or should I play it cool? Are we moving too fast? Not fast enough? Is this going somewhere? Is it okay for me to ask that, or will that push them away? AGGGH. 

We associate this sort of obsessing about another person’s feelings for us with the horrific junior high experience of crushing. But, sadly, feeling anxiety when dating someone new is not just for fifteen-year-olds. Grown-a** people, even senior citizens, still struggle with feelings of angst and vulnerability when they’re in new relationships and they really, really don’t want to blow it.

New Relationship Anxiety: It’s a Thing

New relationships are incredibly anxiety-provoking, and for good reason. When you really like someone but aren’t sure how they feel about you, it’s all-consuming.  When romantic love starts to kindle in your heart, it actually changes the way you think and feel. 

When you feel like you cannot take your mind off of someone, and like you’re spending way too much mental and emotional energy on a brand-new person, it’s not just you. Nature designed that feeling of infatuation to weld you to another person. You might even find it hard to maintain your independence before the relationship has even begun.

It’s fierce: to have such intense feelings for a new person. And not knowing if your budding love is requited is the absolute worst.

Dealing With Anxiety When Dating Someone New 

Early relationship anxiety can be hard to handle. It churns up all kinds of self doubt and questions. For this reason, in addition to the usual questions about dating coaching we get, we have been fielding questions about how to handle various situations in new relationships from our dating coaching clients, listeners of our podcast, readers of our blog, and even journalists.

 [Read more about our empowering approach to dating coaching on DatingNews.com]

Today, on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I’m tackling some of your new relationship questions in hopes of putting some of that new relationship anxiety to rest. We’ll discuss:

1. How to manage new relationship anxiety
2. The stages of a new relationship
3. New relationship questions
4. When to bring up topics like dating exclusively and how you really feel
5. Things to look for that indicate red flags and/or compatibility
6. When you should move forward with dating someone who has a history of depression or other issues (and when to fold ’em).
7. What to do when someone you like hasn’t called or texted in a while, or gives other signals that they might not be that into you
8. How to put self-love and self-respect front and center in all new dating relationships
9. How to move a new relationship forward without “scaring someone off”

All that, and more, on the podcast.

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Episode Outline:

• Stages of a New Relationship
• When to Bring Up Topics
• Someone Who Used to Have Depression: Go or No?
• Getting Mixed Signals
• Putting Self-Worth Ahead
• Red Flags and Compatibility

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC( PhD, LP, LMFT, BCC )

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.

Learn more about Dr. Lisa

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