How to Build a Healthy Relationship With Money

How to Build a Healthy Relationship With Money

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.

Have you ever stopped to consider how your relationship with money is impacting your life? We spend so much time thinking about our relationships with others, but the one with money is often neglected

Have you ever thought about your relationship with money? Maybe how your financial habits, beliefs, and anxieties are impacting your life? I know, it’s a conversation most of us overlook because it can be uncomfortable to dive into, but trust me, it’s worth it.

In a recent episode of my podcast, Love, Happiness, and Success, I had an eye-opening conversation with Jillian Knight, a marriage and family therapist who specializes in financial therapy. This episode was all about understanding the emotional and psychological side of how we manage our money—and I think you’ll find it really enlightening, especially if you’ve ever struggled with how money shows up in your life.

The Hidden Truth About Money and Your Life

Money isn’t just about numbers. It’s deeply connected to how we see ourselves, how we feel about security, how we build relationships, and how we approach our careers. If you’ve never really taken the time to reflect on how you handle money, it could be worth your while. Unseen beliefs or patterns you may have around money could be influencing your decisions—without you even realizing it!

Have you ever felt like you’ve tried everything to manage your finances, only to find that your budget still falls apart halfway through the month? Or maybe you’ve found yourself working non-stop but never quite getting ahead financially? Or—let’s be honest—perhaps you’ve used money as a way to cope with feelings of stress or inadequacy. This is more common than you think, and it all comes down to our internalized beliefs and emotions tied to money.

I know that many of us grow up in environments where money wasn’t openly discussed, or we were taught certain “rules” about how to handle finances that just don’t fit who we are as individuals. As Jillian explained, one of the most common issues is that we’re often unaware of these beliefs, and they show up in our spending habits, career choices, and even in our relationships.

The Impact of Unexamined Money Beliefs

Think about this for a second: What would it look like if you didn’t have any shame, guilt, or anxiety tied to money? If you could just enjoy spending without that nagging feeling in the back of your mind? Or better yet, imagine having a financial system that actually works for you—one that doesn’t make you feel bad or stress you out.

Here’s a big one we unpacked in the episode: the idea of having a “right way” to manage money. I know we’re all familiar with the voices out there telling us that we need to save every penny, live frugally, and only invest in the things that are going to secure our future. But guess what? That may not work for everyone.

For me personally, I went through a phase where I tried to follow these strict, black-and-white rules of personal finance, and it did work—kind of. But it didn’t leave me feeling good about myself. In fact, I ended up feeling ashamed of spending any money that wasn’t “necessary.” Ever felt that way? Like, “Should I really buy this sweater, even though it’s on sale?” It’s exhausting!

Instead, Jillian and I agreed that the real shift happens when you stop seeing money as this constant source of stress and start seeing it as a tool for freedom and joy—while still managing it responsibly. It’s about finding the balance that allows you to feel secure, without feeling deprived.