Falling Behind in Life? 5 Tips to Reset at Any Life Stage

Falling Behind in Life? 5 Tips to Reset at Any Life Stage

Falling behind in life can feel isolating. You might look around and see friends in different life stages — getting married, buying houses, having kids — while you are still figuring things out. That gap can stir up feelings of comparison, anxiety, and shame, and it is easy to start believing you are not where you “should” be.

If you have ever felt this way, you are not broken, and you are definitely not alone. Feeling behind in life is one of the most common struggles I hear about from my clients, my listeners, and even my own friends through our coaching and counseling services. There is a reason it can feel so hard, and there are also ways to feel more grounded, self-compassionate, and connected right where you are.

In this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success, I am sharing five tips, drawn from my work in life coaching, to help you navigate the emotional terrain of being in a different stage of life than the people around you without losing your sense of self-worth or your relationships.

Why Falling Behind in Life Feels So Personal

Part of why feeling behind in life hurts is because of the cultural messages we have absorbed about how life should unfold:

• Find your career path in your 20s.
• Be married and thinking about kids by 35.
• Own a home and be “halfway to retirement” by 40.

These are cultural myths, not universal truths. However, when the people around you seem to be hitting these milestones right “on time” and you are on a different path, it can trigger that quiet fear that you are not doing life right.

Add in social media, where you see curated snapshots of those milestones, and the comparison trap becomes even easier to fall into.

Tip 1: Step Out of the Feeling Behind in Life Mindset

Before you decide you are falling behind, take a moment to step back and look at the bigger picture of your life. Your path has been shaped by:

• Your values (what matters most to you)
• Your choices (the things you have prioritized intentionally)
• Your circumstances (including challenges you did not choose)

For example, some people place a high value on homeownership, while others value travel and adventure. Some meet their life partner early, while others face unexpected setbacks such as health issues, job loss, or the end of a relationship.

When you put your life in the context of your values and reality, you can begin to see why it actually makes perfect sense that you are exactly where you are — and that there is nothing wrong with you.

Tip 2: Honor the Grief of Changing Life Stages in Friendships

Life stage differences can create distance in relationships, even when you still care deeply about each other. Maybe you used to talk daily, take trips, or spend long weekends together, and now your friend is wrangling toddlers while you are traveling solo or focusing on a demanding job.

It is okay to grieve that loss of shared experiences. In fact, acknowledging and honoring the sadness can be healing. You might even choose to share that with your friend in a loving, non-pressuring way:

“I miss you. I know our lives look different right now, but I think about you often and I still love having you in my life.”

Tip 3: Release Judgment (Yours and Theirs)

Self-judgment can sound like:

• “I should have figured this out by now.”
• “If I had made different choices, I would be further along.”

Judgment toward others might creep in too. You may think your friends are too “settled” or, on the flip side, too “carefree.” And sometimes you may feel judged by them.
The antidote is curiosity and compassion for yourself and for them. Recognize that most people’s choices make perfect sense when you understand their values and circumstances, and that includes yours. This shift helps dissolve the idea of falling behind and replaces it with understanding.