Why is Dating So Hard?
Yes, modern dating can be challenging. For as constantly-connected as we all are digitally, it can still be hard to establish a genuine connection with someone new — let alone someone who's a good match for you. Whether you've been doing online dating, or spending lots of time out and about chatting up attractive strangers you know that dating in this day and age can be daunting. If you throw yourself into the fray, you'll have to contend with the weirdos, time-wasters, and people who seem great at first blush, only to flake out. [For more on this topic, check out “The New Rules For Dating,” with Dr. Helen Fisher.] But if you don't at least try… nothing changes. It can be exhausting to alternate between longing for love, and then putting yourself out there, only to face rejection, disappointment, and the sheer waste of time that modern dating can often involve.
Kind of depressing, when I lay it all out like that, isn't it. And yet, as a dating coach, this is the reality that I hear from many clients. If you've also been struggling in your dating life, I want to validate your experience and let you know that you're not alone.
And… I also want you to know that dating, with intention, courage and strategy, also works. There are many great people out there, just like you, who are looking for love — and finding it. Modern dating can and does lead to love. For as many of my dating coaching clients who are feeling frustrated and hopeless about dating, I have just as many who have found true love. (Often, it's the same person who, by making changes to their strategy and sticking with it, was ultimately successful).
You can connect meaningfully with others, and launch a fabulous new relationship. Even in this day and age, all the time people are falling in love and getting married and have babies and living happily ever after. It can happen for YOU too.
But there are questions about dating that need to be answered first. Namely, what's the difference between the type of people that modern dating seems to work for, and those for whom love is always elusive? What are the changes that you need to make in your dating approach to get better results?
So Why Am I Still Single?
To get to the bottom of this, I've asked the person who understands the realities of modern dating better than anyone: Brian Howie, to join me on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Brian is the founder, host and agent provocateur of The Great Love Debate.
All over the world, Brian has been amassing single men and women together in the same room (often with some relationship and dating experts thrown in) and then sparking passionate conversations between them all about what is either leading to (or getting in the way of) love and connection. Through these debates, Brian has gained a unique perspective into modern dating as well as a remarkable insight into the specific things that both men and women are unintentionally doing that either sabotage their chances of creating a meaningful new relationship…. or lead them into the arms of “the one.”
Two Dating Coaches Get Real: Expert Dating Advice
Listen to this episode about dating to learn:
- What are the cities in America where people are most or least likely to find love, and why? Why are Denver men getting a bad rap for being “undateable” and guys in Austin, TX so likely to be flakey?
- What do women unintentionally do that makes it so hard for men to approach them?
- What can singles do to dramatically increase the odds of creating meaningful connections?
- What's the difference between the people who are continuing to struggle and feel frustrated with dating, and those who are successful?
- How is dating changing, in the era of #metoo and #timesup?
- What's the one red flag you should always pay attention to when you're meeting someone new?
- How can you be more attractive to the kind of people you want to be in a relationship with?
- What's the attitude and mindset that will help you cultivate connection?
All this and more, on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby