How To Stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Person
How To Stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Person
Falling In Love with the Wrong Person
Do you keep falling in love with the wrong person? If so, you’re not alone.
You’d be surprised at how many people come to us for life coaching, breakup recovery, individual therapy, or dating coaching, hoping to achieve one goal: Having a healthy relationship (and how to stop getting involved in unhealthy ones).
They show up to therapy or Denver dating coaching because they have, over time (or after the latest heartbreaking breakup), become aware that they are engaging in “non-ideal relationship patterns,” over and over again. They don’t want to be single anymore, but they keep falling in love with the wrong person. They keep getting involved with narcissists or people who treat them badly. They keep choosing emotionally unavailable men or aggressive, controlling women. Whatever the sad pattern is, they want it to stop.
Above all else, they want to work on themselves to heal, grow, and ensure that next time they get involved with someone, they can love and be loved in a healthy relationship with a good person. And so we dig in.
Why do you keep falling in love with the wrong person?
The first stop in figuring out why you keep falling in love with the wrong person is uncovering what unconscious motivations are driving your choices.
Getting outside help in understanding your toxic relationship patterns can be a wise move, because of the entirely subconscious nature of the problem. You don’t consciously choose bad relationships — no one does. You choose what you feel, in the moment, are good relationships…and then wind up having bad experiences that often are mysteriously, eerily similar to the past experiences you thought you were trying to avoid…
Unhealthy relationship patterns can happen for many reasons. Sometimes it’s old, unfinished emotional business from the past. Other times, your self-esteem or feelings of self-worth can get in the way. Yet other times, the root of the problem is embedded in the way you communicate or set boundaries with others. Because you are a complex, unique individual, your truth will not be exactly the same as everyone else’s.
How to stop falling in love with the wrong person
However, there is one very common thing that most people have done at least once, and which will almost always lead to heartbreak: falling victim to “Black Hat Love.” Learning how to spot the one fatal factor that makes you most vulnerable to getting involved in toxic relationships can help you stop the madness and finally create the happy, healthy relationship you’re longing for.
And that’s what I’ll be teaching you about on this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast: How to Stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Person.
Have follow up questions for me? Leave them in the comments!
xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
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How To Stop Falling in Love with the Wrong Person
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Episode Highlights:
- Identifying Your Blind Spots
- Each person’s blind spots are unique.
- We tend to have one type of person we tend to ‘fall for’
- Take the quiz in the-happiness-class.com to assess what your blind spots are.
- Avoiding Toxic Relationships
- Studies have shown that it’s the more unreliable relationships that are most addicting.
- This is because relationships like these trigger our bodies’ production of hormones that make us feel ‘in love’
- Remember to keep what you are looking for in a partner front and center when you are dating.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.
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