Do Therapists Give Advice? Why They Hold Back and How to Actually Get Direction

What should I do if I need guidance and a plan?

This is where coaching comes in, especially coaching grounded in evidence-based coaching psychology.

Coaching is designed to help you:

• Set clear goals
  
• Identify obstacles (internal and external)
  
• Build practical skills
  
• Take action
  
• Stay accountable

Let me put it like this: if therapy is about why you are the way you are, coaching is about what you want to do next and how to make it happen.

Here’s what that looks like in real life:

• In therapy: “Tell me about your father.”
  
• In coaching: “Let’s map out the next three steps to move you forward.”

And when you work with a coach who also has a therapy background (like the ones I train!), you get the benefit of both insight and strategy.

Is coaching better than therapy?

Not better, just different. Think of it like different tools in a toolbox. You don’t use a screwdriver to hammer a nail, right?

Use therapy when you:

• Are processing trauma, grief, or past wounds
  
• Need a safe, non-judgmental space to explore
  
• Have mental health symptoms to manage (anxiety, depression, etc.)

Use coaching when you:

• Want clarity about your goals
  
• Are ready to take action
  
• Need a strategic plan and accountability

Many of my clients have done both — and often, the biggest growth happens when you combine insight with action.

What if I’m in therapy and I feel stuck?

First of all: You’re not doing it wrong. Feeling stuck in therapy is a really common experience.

But if you’re having the same conversation over and over again with no forward motion, it might be time to shift gears.

Try saying:

• “I’d love more structure and guidance around this issue. Can we work on some action steps?”
  
• “Can we shift our focus toward creating a plan or some kind of accountability?”

If your therapist isn’t equipped to do that (or just doesn’t work that way), that’s okay. It may be a sign you’re ready for coaching.

Do I Need Therapy or Coaching?

Here’s a quick decision guide on therapy vs coaching:

Go for therapy if:

• You’re dealing with anxiety, depression, trauma, or significant emotional distress
  
• You need support, healing, or validation
  
• You want to understand your past to feel better in the present

Go for coaching if:

• You have goals but feel stuck
  
• You want to build skills and confidence
  
• You’re ready for accountability and movement

Not sure? Work with someone who does both. (Spoiler: I know a few. 😉)

Learn more about therapy and coaching in my other podcast episodes and blog posts:

• Coaching versus Counseling: Why Your Therapist Might Be Keeping You Stuck
• The Difference Between Coaching and Counseling
• Life Coach vs Therapist
• Do I Need Therapy or Life Coaching? Take the Free Quiz!

Ready for Clarity, Confidence, and Transformation?

If you’ve been nodding along while listening to this and thinking, “YES. I need a plan. I need movement. I need someone who gets it”, I created Clarity and Confidence Coaching for exactly that purpose. To meet you where you are right now, help you find clarity for your path forward, and guide you step-by-step through transformation. 

Right now, you can work with a brilliant therapist trained in coaching psychology for a fraction of what coaching usually costs. You’ll get expert support and a solid framework to actually create meaningful change in your life. And these spots go fast.

👉 Come visit courses.growingself.com/Clarity-Confidence-Coaching

and snag your spot before the July cohort fills up.

And hey, if this conversation resonated with you? Come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube. I share free tips, tools, and behind-the-scenes insights that go way beyond the podcast.

Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

P.S. Know someone who’s been stuck in therapy wondering if it’s them, or their therapist, or the universe being annoying? Share this with them. They deserve real support too.

Resources:

Prass, M., Ewell, A., Hill, C. E., & Kivlighan Jr, D. M. (2021). Solicited and Unsolicited Therapist Advice inPsychodynamic Psychotherapy: Is it Advised?. Counselling Psychology Quarterly, 34(2), 253-274. https://www.tandfonline.com/doi/abs/10.1080/09515070.2020.1723492

Hart, V., Blattner, J., & Leipsic, S. (2001). Coaching versus therapy: A perspective. Consulting Psychology Journal: Practice and Research, 53(4), 229. https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2002-00097-002.html

Passmore, J., & Lai, Y. L. (2020). Coaching psychology: Exploring definitions and research contribution to practice. Coaching researched: A coaching psychology reader, 3-22. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/9781119656913.ch1