The Most Important Part of a Healthy Relationship
EMOTIONAL SAFETY: Here's some real-deal, bottom-line relationship advice from an experienced marriage counselor: If you want to feel more connected, improve your communication, have more emotional and physical intimacy, and create a secure, satisfying relationship, there's one irreplaceable ingredient that you must have for everything else to fall into place…. Emotional Safety.
Emotional safety is so important that it's the foundational goal of one of the most widely researched, effective evidence-based forms of marriage counseling and couples therapy, called “Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy.” Here at Growing Self, most of the Denver marriage counselors, online couples therapists, and relationship coaches on our team use Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to guide their work with couples… because it works.
The easiest way to understand the importance of emotional safety is to reflect on what happens between you and your partner when you don't have it: If you're feeling angry, hurt, frustrated or disrespected… you're not going to behave well with your partner. Even if you know, intellectually, what you should do to show them love and respect… you don't. And understandably! Until you feel emotionally safe, and learn how to help your partner feel emotionally safe with you, conflict and miscommunication is inevitable.
This is exactly the reason why many attempts at marriage counseling and couples therapy doesn't work — is because the majority of couples counselors out there aren't trained in evidence based forms of couples counseling like EFCT. Consequently they don't know how to help their couples focus on their foundation of emotional safety first, before attempting to make bigger changes in their relationship. Without that, couples counseling doesn't work. Couples try to make changes, and they don't stick. Couples can't make real and lasting change when they're not focusing on what really matters: Emotional Safety.
How to Create Emotional Safety in Your Relationship
YOU deserve better. You deserve real relationship advice, that will help you improve your relationship, and that's what you're getting on this episode the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. I'm putting on my marriage counselor hat, and I'm sharing the secrets behind how to create emotional safety in your relationship. We'll be discussing:
- What is emotional safety, and why it's important
- How to determine if your relationship is emotionally safe or not
- How to begin increasing emotional safety in your relationship
- The emotional intelligence skills that will help you increase emotional safety
- Using the principles of Emotionally Focused Couples Therapy to improve your relationship
- The emotional-safety crushing behaviors to absolutely avoid
- The most important things YOU can do to transform your relationship
This episode is my very special Valentine's Day gift for YOU. I hope you listen, and that it helps you love your relationship.
PS: One of the “conversation starting” tools I mentioned in this episode is my free “How Healthy is Your Relationship Quiz.” If you'd like to take this, alone or with your partner, you can get the link here.
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How to Create Emotional Safety
Music Credits: The Days, “Make My Love Your Home”
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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She's the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.
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