We all want to have good relationships — our connections with others are central to authentic happiness.
But the dark side of having a vibrant life with lots of people in it is that sometimes we feel imposed upon, hassled, crowded and disappointed by the people we’re trying to have relationships with. And thats where boundaries come in.
As important as it is to be generous, and empathic, and loving towards others, if we aren’t mindful of our own boundaries and healthy limits we can give too much. The truth is that not everyone is a safe person for us to be emotionally close to, and to sacrifice for. But how to you figure out where to draw that line?
Setting and maintaining boundaries is a complex process, with many aspects to it. On today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, I’m teaching you the first step in creating and maintaining healthy boundaries: Getting to know who you’re dealing with. Only then can you figure out what boundaries are appropriate.
This is a technique I teach my private clients all the time. It will help you figure out what stage of relationship you are in, when you should keep your guard up, and when to feel okay about relaxing your boundaries.
Listen Now, and Learn How to Set Healthy Boundaries
Music Credits: “Home” by Edward Sharpe and The Magnetic Zeros
1) It takes time to get to know people. Trust is earned.
2) Use the “house” metaphor to figure out where you are in a relationship, and what level of access people should have in your life.
3) If you get information that leads you to believe that this person is not safe or trustworthy, put them back at the right “level” of your “relational house.”
4) The biggest mistake you can make is jumping into the pool. Go slow, and let people teach you who they are.