How to Have Healthy Boundaries
How to Have Healthy Boundaries
Healthy boundaries are essential in relationships. We all want to have good relationships — our connections with others are central to our authentic happiness.
But, as so many of my therapy and healthy relationships coaching clients have found, the dark side of having a vibrant life with lots of people in it is that sometimes we feel imposed upon, hassled, crowded, and disappointed by the people we’re trying to have relationships with – that’s where healthy boundaries come in.
As important as it is to be generous, empathetic, and loving towards others, we can give too much of ourselves if we aren’t mindful of our own healthy boundaries and healthy limits. The truth is that not everyone is a safe person for us to be emotionally close to and to sacrifice for, but how do you figure out where to draw that line?
Maintaining Healthy Boundaries
Setting and maintaining healthy boundaries is a complex process with many aspects to it. On today’s episode of the Love, Happiness, and Success podcast, I’m teaching you the first step in creating and maintaining healthy boundaries: getting to know who you’re dealing with. Only then can you figure out what boundaries are appropriate.
This is a technique I teach my Denver therapy and coaching clients all the time – especially in our work around emotional intelligence. It will help you figure out what stage of a relationship you are in, when you should keep your guard up, and when to feel okay about relaxing your boundaries.
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How to Have Healthy Boundaries
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Episode Highlights: How to Have Healthy Boundaries
- It takes time to get to know people. Trust is earned.
- Use the “house” metaphor to figure out where you are in a relationship and what level of access people should have in your life.
- If you get information that leads you to believe that this person is not safe or trustworthy, put them back at the right “level” of your “relational house.”
- The biggest mistake you can make is jumping into the pool. Go slow, and let people teach you who they are.
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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
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