Apple Podcasts
Spotify
YouTubeStop Miscommunication Madness: How to Be a Better Communicator
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
Okay, real talk—have you ever walked away from a conversation thinking, What just happened? Maybe you were pouring your heart out, and they started solving a problem you didn’t ask them to solve. Or you were trying to talk about something important, and it felt like they were on a completely different wavelength. We all know that communication is the key to building healthy relationships, but sometimes we don’t quite get it right. The good news is that we can all learn how to be a better communicator.
If you’ve been there (and who hasn’t?), you’re not alone. And guess what? It’s not because you’re bad at communication—it’s because nobody ever taught us how to actually do it.
That’s why I was over-the-moon excited to sit down with THE Charles Duhigg on the Love, Happiness and Success podcast. We talked all about his new book, Supercommunicators, and let me tell you, it’s packed with golden nuggets on how to finally get communication right.
This isn’t about being more articulate or saying all the “perfect” things. It’s about understanding what’s happening beneath the surface in your conversations—so you can connect, be heard, and maybe even get your partner to stop saying, “You’re not listening to me!”
Let’s dive in because, friend, this could change the way you talk to literally everyone in your life.
Why Communication Feels So Hard
Here’s the deal: When relationships hit a rough patch, it’s rarely about the dishes, the text that went unanswered, or the toothpaste cap (though, yes, that’s annoying). It’s about how we feel in each other’s presence. Do we feel heard? Respected? Understood?
Most communication fails because we’re unknowingly speaking different “languages.” Every conversation can be broken into three types:
- Practical Conversations – Solving problems and logistics.
- Emotional Conversations – Sharing feelings and seeking empathy.
- Social Conversations – Exploring identity and our connection to others.
When we’re in mismatched conversations—like me needing an emotional vent session while my partner’s busy solving my “problem”—it’s like two ships passing in the night. Want to know how to be a better communicator? Recognizing what kind of conversation you’re having. It’s as simple (and as challenging) as pausing to ask, What’s really going on here?
Unlock the Secret to Happier Relationships
I know how hard it can be to feel stuck in conflict. That’s why I created this free 2-part training, Communication that Connects—to help you stop the fights, rebuild your connection, and communicate in a way that brings you closer. Click the link below to take the first step.
Therapy Questions, Answered.
Support For Your Growth
Our expert therapists have generously created an entire library of articles, activities, and podcasts to support you on your journey of growth. Please visit our “Happiness Collections” to browse our content collections, and take advantage of all the free resources we have for you. Or, if you’d like to educate yourself about the process and logistics of therapy, please help yourself to our “therapy questions” knowledge base below. It’s all for you!
Do I Need Therapy?
Wondering if your issues going to work themselves out, or is it time to talk to a professional? Here’s how to tell when it’s time for therapy.
Therapy Works, But How?
Great therapy can feel like magic, but it’s actually not. Learn how meaningful and effective therapy works.
What is Therapy Like?
What is therapy like? Learn what happens in therapy in order to feel empowered and confident.
What Kind of Therapist Do I Need?
There are many different kinds of therapists and many different types of therapy. What kind of therapist do you need? Find out!
What To Talk About in Therapy
Not sure what to talk about in therapy? Here are some tips to ensure you get the most out of your therapy sessions.
Therapy Consultation: What to Expect
How to prepare for your first therapy appointment, and learn what to expect in therapy sessions.
Coaching vs Therapy
What’s the difference between coaching and therapy? Find out which approach is right for you.
What is Cognitive-Behavioral Therapy?
Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the “gold-standard” of effective, evidence-based therapy. Learn about CBT.
What is Talk Therapy?
How does talking about something help you make changes? Or… does it? Learn the pros and cons of traditional talk therapy.
Why Evidence-Based Therapy Matters
Effective therapy is life-changing, but some therapy is a waste of time and money. Evidence-based therapy makes the difference.
How to Find a (Good) Therapist
Not all therapists are the same. Learn how to find a good therapist (and spot the warning signs of a bad one).
Therapy For Healthy Relationships
Working with a true relationship expert helps you learn, grow, love, and be loved.
Learn about our approach to helping you build healthy relationships.
Guide to Online Therapy
Online therapy is just as effective but even easier than in person therapy. Here’s what to expect from good online therapy.
Denver Therapist
Explore your options for a Denver therapist who specializes in personal growth and healthy relationships.
How to Get a Therapist
Ready to try therapy? Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to get a therapist who is competent to help you.
Therapy Reviews
Curious to know more about what working with us is really like? Browse Growing Self reviews / “best online therapy reviews” from our clients.
How Much Does Therapy Cost?
Good therapy is priceless, but not all therapy is valuable. Learn the cost of therapy that’s affordable and effective.
Does Insurance Cover Therapy?
Yes, insurance covers therapy… but only sometimes. Learn when (and how) health insurance covers therapy, and when it doesn’t.
Help Someone Get Help
If you have a loved one who is struggling in their relationship, you can help them get help by “gifting” therapy. Here’s how…
Divorce & Breakup Recovery
Losing a relationship is uniquely painful and challenging. With the right support, you can heal, grow, and move forward. Learn about our divorce and breakup recovery services.
More Questions? Let’s Talk.
We’re available by phone, email and chat, and happy to answer any of your questions personally. Get in touch, anytime.
Start Therapy
Start your journey of growth today. Get personalized recommendations, and have a free consultation meeting with the therapist of your choice.