How to Set Boundaries: Learn Skills to Reduce Burnout & Stress With Boundaries — Ginny Priem

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.

If you’re the one everyone relies on, learning how to set boundaries without guilt may be the most important skill you develop this year. When you constantly carry more than your share, burnout isn’t random, it’s predictable.

High achievers, natural leaders, and helpers often slide into overfunctioning without realizing it. At first, you simply show up. Then you solve more problems. Eventually, you become the person who handles everything. However, over time, that competence turns into chronic stress.

If you’ve been wondering how to set boundaries without guilt or how to stop overfunctioning without damaging your relationships, this conversation is for you.

At Growing Self’s coaching and counseling services, we see this pattern often: capable people slowly burning out because they never learned how to step back.

The Hidden Cost of Overfunctioning

Overfunctioning looks admirable on the outside. You’re dependable. You’re efficient. You solve problems before others notice them.

Yet internally, something shifts.

You feel resentment. You feel fatigue. You may even question why you’re exhausted when everything appears fine. As research on burnout clearly shows (Maslach et al., 2001), chronic overextension leads directly to emotional exhaustion.

So if you want to stop burning out, you must learn how to stop overfunctioning.

Signs of Stress in the Body: Your Nervous System Speaks First

One of the earliest indicators that you need boundaries is physical stress.

The signs of stress in the body often show up before conscious awareness does. You might experience insomnia, digestive issues, headaches, muscle tension, or skin flare-ups. Over time, chronic stress weakens immune functioning, as demonstrated in longitudinal stress research (Segerstrom & Miller, 2004).

In addition, broader medical research links psychological stress to disease outcomes (Cohen et al., 2007). In other words, if you ignore the need to set boundaries, your body may eventually force you to pay attention. Learning how to stop overfunctioning protects not just your schedule, but your physiology.

People Pleasing and Boundaries: Why Guilt Feels So Strong

People pleasing and boundaries often collide.

If your identity depends on being helpful, saying no can feel threatening. You may think, “If I don’t do this, I’ll disappoint someone.” However, understanding how to set boundaries without guilt requires recognizing that guilt does not automatically equal wrongdoing.

Sometimes guilt simply signals growth.

If this pattern resonates, you may benefit from reading People Pleaser? How to Stop. You may also find clarity in Let Go of Unhealthy Guilt, especially if guilt tends to override your self-protection instincts.

Furthermore, learning How to Say No to Others… and Yes to Yourself builds the practical muscle of boundary-setting.

What Boundaries Actually Mean

A boundary defines what you are willing to participate in — and what you are not.

It does not control someone else’s behavior. Instead, it clarifies your own.

For example, setting boundaries at work without conflict may involve calmly stating your capacity and negotiating priorities. If you need deeper guidance on relational dynamics, our article on Boundaries in Relationships expands on this concept.

However, as you begin setting boundaries at work without conflict, you may encounter resistance.

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Boundary Pushback and Boundary Busters

Whenever you change your role in a system, the system reacts.

This reaction is known as boundary pushback. If you consistently overfunction, others may unconsciously rely on that pattern. Therefore, when you start setting limits, they may resist.

Boundary busters may guilt you, minimize your needs, or accuse you of selfishness. If this dynamic feels familiar, you might also explore Are Selfish People Driving You Nuts? Here’s How To Cope….

In more complex cases, pushback may signal enmeshment. If so, you may find insight in Are You In an Enmeshed Relationship?.

At the same time, remember this: boundaries are not about forcing someone else to change. As we explain in You Can’t Change People… But People Can Change, growth must be voluntary.

Setting Boundaries at Work Without Conflict

Many people worry that setting boundaries at work without conflict will damage their reputation. However, sustainable performance depends on realistic workload management.

For example, instead of saying yes automatically, you might respond:

“I’m currently at capacity. If this new project is a priority, which of my existing tasks should shift?”

This approach reduces overfunctioning while maintaining collaboration.

Additionally, during high-demand seasons, boundaries become even more critical. You may find practical guidance in Healthy Boundaries: The Holiday Edition.

How to Set Boundaries Without Guilt (And Keep Them)

If you truly want to learn how to set boundaries without guilt, you must tolerate short-term discomfort for long-term health.

Initially, others may react. You may feel uneasy. However, over time, healthy boundaries create balanced relationships.

Understanding how to set boundaries without guilt also means learning how to stop overfunctioning internally — especially when your instinct tells you to jump in and fix things.

If you’re unsure whether therapy or coaching would best support this work, take our free quiz: Do I Need Therapy or Life Coaching? Take the Free Quiz!

About Ginny Priem

Ginny Priem is a keynote speaker, TEDx presenter, Master Certified Professional Life Coach, bestselling author, and host of the Unsubscribe Podcast. With over 20 years of corporate leadership experience, she helps high-performing individuals reduce burnout while maintaining ambition.

Her “Unsubscribe” framework encourages intentional evaluation: what should you block, mute, swap, or manage? This clarity reduces overwhelm and supports sustainable growth.

When You’re Ready to Practice This in Real Life

Understanding how to set boundaries without guilt is the first step. Practicing it is the next.

If you’re ready to stop overfunctioning, navigate boundary pushback, and build healthier relational patterns, you can schedule a consultation with our team. Answer three quick questions so we can help you schedule a free consultation with the right expert. It’s private, secure, and only takes a couple of minutes.

Let’s find the right support for you.

xoxo,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Growing Self

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Resources:

Bowen, M. (1978). Family therapy in clinical practice. Jason Aronson.
Cohen, S., Janicki-Deverts, D., & Miller, G. E. (2007). Psychological stress and disease. JAMA, 298(14), 1685–1687. https://doi.org/10.1001/jama.298.14.1685
Maslach, C., Schaufeli, W. B., & Leiter, M. P. (2001). Job burnout. Annual Review of Psychology, 52, 397–422. https://doi.org/10.1146/annurev.psych.52.1.397
Minuchin, S. (1974). Families and family therapy. Harvard University Press
Segerstrom, S. C., & Miller, G. E. (2004). Psychological stress and the human immune system: A meta-analytic study of 30 years of inquiry. Psychological Bulletin, 130(4), 601–630. https://doi.org/10.1037/0033-2909.130.4.601

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How to Set Boundaries: Learn Skills to Reduce Burnout & Stress With Boundaries — Ginny Priem

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