How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind: Break Old Patterns and Crush Your Goals

How to Reprogram Your Subconscious Mind: Break Old Patterns and Crush Your Goals

Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LMFT, BCC

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.

Have you ever started a new goal or personal growth journey with all the enthusiasm in the world, only to subconsciously self-sabotage a few weeks later? You’re not alone. Statistically, around 80% of people abandon their New Year’s resolutions within the first week. Ouch. Let talk about how to reprogram your subconscious mind.

I recently had the joy of hosting Thais Gibson, founder of The Personal Development School, on the Love, Happiness & Success podcast. Thais is a powerhouse when it comes to teaching people how to make real, lasting changes in their lives. Together, we dove into the science of how to reprogram your subconscious mind so it stops working against you and starts working for you so you can achieve your goals.

Here’s the deal: change isn’t about willpower or motivation alone. It’s about aligning your conscious goals with the subconscious mind, which runs 95-97% of your thoughts, beliefs, and actions. Let’s break down how this works and, most importantly, how you can rewire your subconscious mind to finally get out of your own way.

Why Your Subconscious Mind Runs the Show

Your conscious mind is like a well-meaning parent with great advice but very little follow-through. It decides, “I’m going to eat healthier,” or, “I’ll work out five times a week,” but the subconscious—the part of your brain responsible for habits, emotions, and deeply ingrained beliefs—is the one driving the bus.

For example, let’s say you tell yourself, “I’m going to hit the gym.” But by the time work ends, you’re exhausted, and Netflix calls your name. It’s not because you’re lazy or lack discipline. It’s because your subconscious mind has competing priorities, like comfort, security, or social connection, that trump your conscious intentions.

As Thais explained, “Our experience of self-sabotage or resistance is simply that our conscious mind intends something, but our subconscious mind has different motives.”

The good news? You can learn how to reprogram your subconscious mind.

Step 1: Get Curious About Your Subconscious Needs

To align your subconscious with your conscious goals, you first need to identify what’s really driving your behavior. Ask yourself:

• How do I spend my free time?
• Where do I naturally focus my energy or attention?
• What do I avoid, and why?

For example, one of Thais’s clients wanted to improve her health but struggled with consistency. Through introspection, she realized her subconscious prioritized security, comfort, and family time. Exercising felt like a threat to those needs—until she reframed it. She started walking with her kids and joining a hiking group with friends. These changes aligned her goals with her deeper values.

Step 2: Rewire Limiting Beliefs

Sometimes, it’s not competing needs but limiting beliefs that hold us back. If you’ve ever thought, “I’ll fail if I try,” or, “I’m not good enough,” those beliefs are rooted in past experiences. And while those thoughts may have protected you once, they don’t have to dictate your future.

Here’s a quick exercise to start rewiring:

1. Write down your goal. For example: “I want to start my own business.”
2. Ask yourself: Why haven’t I done this yet? Write down every excuse that comes to mind.
3. Go deeper. For each excuse, ask, “What am I afraid will happen?” or, “What do I make this mean about myself?”

Chances are, you’ll uncover beliefs like, “I’m not capable,” or, “I’ll be judged if I fail.” Awareness is the first step toward change.