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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
Have you ever walked away from a conversation feeling weirdly guilty, a little confused, maybe even questioning your own memory or feelings? Like, “Wait…am I the jerk here?” If so, you might’ve had a run-in with a master of dark psychology and manipulation. As a therapist, I can tell you it happens more often than we realize.
Now listen, I’m not talking about movie-villain level gaslighting (although, yes, that’s real too). I mean the everyday, sneaky, often unconscious behaviors that people use to control or influence others—usually in ways that don’t feel great.
In a recent episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I dove deep into the topic of dark psychology and manipulation, not to teach you how to use these tricks (please, no), but to help you read people so you can see them coming a mile away—and disarm them with grace, empathy, and some serious self defense skills.
Let’s get into it, because I promise you, once you learn this stuff, you’ll never unsee it. And that’s a good thing.
The Manipulation Master
I know this isn’t the warm-and-fuzzy relationship topic I usually bring to the table. But here’s the thing: awareness is your superpower. And if you’re a naturally empathetic, big-hearted, people-pleasing kind of person, then you really need to know what you’re up against when dealing with a master of dark psychology and manipulation.
The truth is, manipulation doesn’t always come from evil masterminds twirling mustaches. Often, it’s coming from people we love—partners, parents, friends, coworkers—who are hurting, scared, or stuck in their own patterns. That doesn’t make it okay, but it does mean we need compassion and good boundaries in relationships. Because here’s the bottom line: you can love people and still not let them control you.
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