The 12 Relationship Mistakes That Will Destroy a Relationship

The 12 Relationship Mistakes That Will Destroy a Relationship

Hey, my fabulous friend!

I’ve got something juicy for you today, and I promise it’s a bit of a twist on the usual relationship advice you hear. You see, there’s SO much out there on what to do to have a better relationship—communication tips, bonding exercises, blah blah blah—but today? Today, I’m flipping the script. We’re going to talk about what NOT to do. Yes, you heard me right. We’re diving into “The 12 Most Effective Ways to Destroy a Perfectly Good Relationship.”

Don’t worry, I’m not encouraging sabotage! I want you to know these pitfalls, laugh at them with me, and (most importantly) learn how to avoid them. Because, as someone who’s had a front-row seat to thousands of couples’ struggles, I’m telling you: even the best relationships can crumble if you don’t pay attention to these common mistakes.

I’m going to count these down from the least destructive to the MOST destructive. Truthfully, every single one of these is a powerful relationship-killer on it’s own but by the time we get to the bottom we’ll be playing with the big guns. Here we go! 

Relationship Mistake #12: Making the Relationship ALL About You (Yep, You)

Let’s be real: it’s super easy to slip into this, right? You’ve been together for a while, life gets busy, and slowly but surely, you start focusing on your own needs. Your partner becomes your sidekick in the epic saga of your life.

Here’s the kicker: a healthy relationship is about BOTH of you. I’m talking about a partnership where both of you matter equally. So, what’s the fix? Empathy. That’s right! Imagine what it’s like to live with you (I know, it’s wild). Try to understand your partner’s perspective. Ask yourself, “How would I feel if I were in their shoes?” Then, show them you care through your words, actions, and, oh yes, your way of being. It’s all about balance, baby!

Relationship Mistake #11: Blaming Everything on Your “Issues”

We all have issues—I do, you do, your partner does, everyone does. But here’s the deal: your personal stuff, whether it’s ADHD, anxiety, depression, or what have you, can’t become your free pass to slack off in the relationship. It’s YOUR responsibility to manage it and make positive changes in your life, not theirs.

This ties into a fun little psychology term called the Fundamental Attribution Error (don’t worry, I’ll make it easy). It basically means we tend to excuse our own behavior because of our circumstances, but we judge others harshly for the same stuff. Like when I’m late because I lost my keys (again), I’ve got 17 valid excuses. But if someone else is late? Oh, they just don’t respect my time. See what happens? We’re all prone to it.

What’s the antidote? Own your issues and don’t let them wreak havoc on your relationship. And, while we’re at it, give your partner a little grace, too. You’re both human, after all.

Relationship Mistake #10: Neglecting Your Partner (The Silent Killer)

Now, this one’s sneaky. You’re not trying to be neglectful, but life just gets in the way, right? You’ve got the kids, the job, the house, and poof—before you know it, you haven’t had a real conversation with your partner in weeks, maybe even months.

Newsflash: neglect is one of the easiest ways to destroy a relationship—and it often happens slowly. The fix? Make time for each other, even if it’s small moments like talking after dinner or cuddling on the couch. It doesn’t have to be a grand gesture; it just has to be intentional. Trust me, those little moments of connection are the lifeblood of your relationship.

Relationship Mistake #9: Trying to Become One (AKA Fusion Disaster)

Okay, I know this might sound romantic, but if you’re trying to do everything with your partner and become their one and only for all things…you’re suffocating the relationship. Yikes, I said it.

Healthy relationships require space for each person to grow as an individual. Have your own hobbies. Keep your own friends. Do your own thing. Then, come back together with fresh experiences to share. When you allow space, you’ll actually strengthen your bond.

Relationship Mistake #8: Blaming Your Partner for All the Problems

Look, I get it. When things go wrong, it’s way easier to point the finger at your partner than to look in the mirror. But here’s the truth: relationships are systems, and both people contribute to the dynamic. If you’re always blaming your partner, you’re missing out on a huge opportunity for growth.

Instead, take a step back and ask yourself, “How am I contributing to this issue?” Trust me, a little self-awareness goes a long way. And when you take responsibility for your part? That’s when real change happens.

Relationship Mistake #7: Judging Your Partner By Your Own Standards… Without Respecting Theirs

Let’s talk Relationship Mistake #7: Judging your partner by your own standards. We all have our own way of doing things—whether it’s handling money, cleaning, or raising kids—and it’s easy to think, “My way is the right way!” But that mindset can wreck a relationship.

When you judge your partner by your standards, you send the message that their way isn’t good enough, which leads to resentment and disconnection. Instead, practice respect. Recognize that their perspective and way of doing things are just as valid as yours. A healthy relationship is about finding middle ground where both of you feel seen and valued.So, next time you feel judgy, ask yourself, “What can I learn from their perspective?” Respecting each other’s differences is what makes your relationship strong, dynamic, and full of growth opportunities.