Woman outside with hands together practicing How to feel happier instantly.

Feel Happier Instantly

There are many ways that you may find that help you feel happier instantly. What are they for you? Was it a moment of solitude? Connecting with a friend? The feel of the wind on your face? The knowledge of a job well done? Your morning coffee? Holding a child’s hand? A sudden awareness of the fact that a part of your body works perfectly?

I bet that as you scroll back on the events of your day, there were many small moments. Subtle, fleeting moments that are perfect, but easy to dismiss or overlook because they are nothing fancy or earth-shaking. In fact, they are so normal that you may not notice them at all.

Here’s some free advice from a counselor and healthy relationships coach: One of the biggest mistakes that you can make (if you want to be a genuinely happy person, anyway) is to dismiss these ordinary moments as being of no consequence.

Your Thoughts Create Your Reality

One of the toxic mental habits that chronically unhappy or dissatisfied people often fall into without even noticing that they are doing so is indulging an obsession with things that are wrong. As a result, the inevitable imperfections and problems of life seem to bloom and grow, becoming ever larger and overwhelming.

…[O]bsessing and feeling terrible about your problems is generally not productive. Why? It’s not solution-oriented.

We know from research and studies on the most effective form of therapy, Cognitive Behavioral Therapy, that certain thinking styles are a one-way ticket to despair and depression. In fact, there are about 10 types of most unhelpful thinking styles that ruin people’s moods and make it hard for them to feel confident, strong, and content with their lives

One of the most insidious usual suspects that many people engage in without even realizing is something called “negative filtering.” This means that they overemphasize negative, unfortunate, or problematic circumstances while discounting the positive.

While dissatisfaction and a strong desire to make a positive change are both good things when they are channeled into motivation, obsessing and feeling terrible about your problems is generally not productive. Why? It’s not solution-oriented. 

There is a huge difference between feeling bad about something and making a concrete plan of action to change it. It’s the difference between flopping around in a disgusting mud puddle (“Agh! I’m in a mud puddle! This is horrible!”) and getting up to go find yourself a shower. (“I don’t want to do this anymore.”) While motivation for change leads to transformation, negative filtering will just keep you frustrated, heartsick, and stuck.

How To Feel Happy

I teach powerful antidotes to every single one of the most common toxic thinking styles in my online Happiness Class, but here’s one that you can use right now to help yourself pick yourself up and start feeling better if negative filtering has been dragging you down lately: gratitude.

Practicing gratitude means that you intentionally and mindfully re-direct your attention away from what’s not working to what is working. If you intentionally notice your strengths and positive circumstances, and allow yourself to feel gratitude for everyday grace, your heart will begin to overflow with appreciation for your life. Furthermore, by focusing on your strengths you’ll feel much more empowered to make positive and constructive changes.

This one small mental shift towards gratitude and appreciation can change the emotional experience of your life. When genuine gratitude is present, you shift from helplessness to hope and feel energized by the blessings being showered upon you each and every day.

Try it and see what happens. Here’s a challenge: practice gratitude for even just today and notice the difference it makes. Keep a “Gratitude Journal,” a mental or literal list of all the things about this day that you appreciate — both big and small — and see how it makes you feel. Every time you start to sink down into the muck of overwhelming problems, whip out your Gratitude Journal and write down your strengths, opportunities, and the good things that you have in your life.

My bet is that you will feel more hopeful, and resilient, and better able to make real and lasting change in your life.

With love and respect,

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

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Therapy Questions, Answered.

Our expert therapists have generously created an entire library of articles, activities, and podcasts to support you on your journey of growth. Please visit our “Happiness Collections” to browse our content collections, and take advantage of all the free resources we have for you. Or, if you’d like to educate yourself about the process and logistics of therapy, please help yourself to our “therapy questions” knowledge base below. It’s all for you!

Wondering if your issues going to work themselves out, or is it time to talk to a professional? Here’s how to tell when it’s time for therapy.

Great therapy can feel like magic, but it’s actually not. Learn how meaningful and effective therapy works.

What is therapy like? Learn what happens in therapy in order to feel empowered and confident.

There are many different kinds of therapists and many different types of therapy. What kind of therapist do you need? Find out!

Not sure what to talk about in therapy? Here are some tips to ensure you get the most out of your therapy sessions.

How to prepare for your first therapy appointment, and learn what to expect in therapy sessions.

What’s the difference between coaching and therapy? Find out which approach is right for you.

Cognitive-behavioral therapy is the “gold-standard” of effective, evidence-based therapy. Learn about CBT.

How does talking about something help you make changes? Or… does it? Learn the pros and cons of traditional talk therapy.

Effective therapy is life-changing, but some therapy is a waste of time and money. Evidence-based therapy makes the difference.

Not all therapists are the same. Learn how to find a good therapist (and spot the warning signs of a bad one).

Therapy For Healthy Relationships

Working with a true relationship expert helps you learn, grow, love, and be loved.
Learn about our approach to helping you build healthy relationships.

Online therapy is just as effective but even easier than in person therapy. Here’s what to expect from good online therapy.

Explore your options for a Denver therapist who specializes in personal growth and healthy relationships.

Ready to try therapy? Here’s a comprehensive guide on how to get a therapist who is competent to help you.

Curious to know more about what working with us is really like? Browse Growing Self reviews / “best online therapy reviews” from our clients.

Good therapy is priceless, but not all therapy is valuable. Learn the cost of therapy that’s affordable and effective.

Yes, insurance covers therapy… but only sometimes. Learn when (and how) health insurance covers therapy, and when it doesn’t.

If you have a loved one who is struggling in their relationship, you can help them get help by “gifting” therapy. Here’s how…

Losing a relationship is uniquely painful and challenging. With the right support, you can heal, grow, and move forward. Learn about our divorce and breakup recovery services.

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