Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self Counseling and Coaching. She's the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.
Bad Therapy Happens
How to avoid bad therapy: Not all therapists, marriage counselors and life coaches are created equally. Don't get me wrong, most therapists who are in practice are wonderful, and at the very least, well-meaning.
However, even lovely, well-intended therapists and marriage counselors can be ineffective. While it may not be harmful to get involved with a therapist who isn't going to move the needle for you… it can still be a waste of time and money. (Even though therapy and life coaching might not be as expensive as you think, it's still always an investment in your life.)
There is a dark side though. Getting involved with the wrong therapist can have consequences. If you go to mediocre therapy that (unsurprisingly) doesn't work for you, you may begin to believe that you're doomed to repeat the same old patterns in your life or relationship. Maybe you stop trying, or settle for what you have come to believe is possible for you.
There is also a big risk for couples at a fork-in-the-road moment in their relationship. Couples who get involved with a practitioner who advertises couples therapy (but doesn't really have the education and training to provide high-quality couples counseling) and then “fail” may believe that because couples therapy was unsuccessful for them…. that divorce is the only answer. That is a tragedy, especially when you consider that getting involved with effective marriage counseling could have had a completely different outcome.
I'm here to tell you that it might not be you. You could move forward. Your relationship can be repaired. The problem might be your therapist.
Signs You Have a Bad Therapist
There is a wide variety when it comes to quality in therapists. (And by “therapists” I'm also lumping in Marriage Counselors and Life Coaches too). Education and experience matters, however, so does personality, approach, and the level of energy they put into your success.
Today on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I'm going to be talking you through the signs that you might have a bad therapist. I'll also be talking about subtle signs that your therapist might be nice, but ineffective. There are also shady therapists out there; I'll be talking about how to spot unethical therapists from a mile away.
We'll be talking about:
The top nine clues your therapist might be ineffective.
Six signs that your therapist may have crossed over to the dark side, and is engaging in unethical behavior.
Lastly, it's also true that there are fantastic, effective and impeccably ethical therapists and marriage counselors out there. I'll be sharing some tips on how to find a good therapist and how to choose a marriage counselor. Then you'll know what to look for so you can connect with a dynamic professional who can help you make real and lasting change in your life.
I hope that these insights help support you on your journey of growth.
P.S. At Growing Self we're all about scouring the earth to bring you the very best therapists and marriage counselors in order to ensure that working with us means the highest quality evidence-based therapy, marriage counseling and coaching. But… we all know “meh” or downright scary therapists are out there. I shared a couple of my own scary therapist stories in this episode but if you have your own cautionary tales to share, gather-round the campfire of our comments section and tell us what happened! Xo, LMB
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Signs You Have a Bad Therapist
Music Credits: The Ramones, “Psycho Therapy”