The Secret to Changing Anything and Everything
Why Is It So Hard to Make Lasting Life Changes?
People start therapy or life coaching eager to jump in and make new things happen. That is admirable, and enthusiasm is certainly the catalyst for great things. We must have hope in order even to try changing anything.
We all start out with grand plans and make sweeping, dramatic gestures to reinvent ourselves and mark our transition into a better life: buying personal productivity solutions, new workout clothes, hiring a life coach, cutting up all the credit cards, throwing away the half-eaten bags of Ruffles, making solemn promises to be nicer to your partner, or flushing the cigarettes down the toilet. Things are going to be different now. These rituals of change feel like the door to a new life, and we feel very pleased with ourselves for several days. Our “better” selves.
Changing Anything Can Be Challenging
But then, it gets frustrating. Things get hard, annoying, boring, or we get upset — and sure enough — snap right back into our old patterns. It’s easy to feel discouraged and get tricked into believing that you can’t do it.
But you can, my friend. You most certainly can.
You can have it all. You can have healthy relationships, lose weight, save money, achieve your goals, be healthier, more confident, sleep better, and feel happier.
The Secret to Changing Everything and Anything
Change is not magic. It doesn’t happen in those dramatic moments when we’re swearing that everything is going to be different from now on. Real change is in the ordinary, everyday choices that we make, based on our values and our mindsets.
Real change comes down to a simple formula: effort over time.
That’s it.
If you apply your efforts in a positive direction over a long enough timeframe, you will create change in your life. Even if you’re not perfect. Even if you don’t have all the advantages that someone else has. Even if you don’t totally believe that it’s going to work for you. I don’t like to make guarantees, but this is about as close as I’ll come to one: It works. Truly.
But, just because it’s simple doesn’t mean that it’s easy. There will always be times when you hit an obstacle and want to give up, or when you’re thrown off course by other priorities. But as long as you get back on track again, you are still on the path to change, and you will see positive results. Real change is the process of getting back on track, over and over, as many times as you need to. There are certain mindsets and habits that will help you do that, and that’s what we’re talking about on today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast.
Your ability to change your life is the same as everyone else’s. I hope this episode helps you get in touch with your remarkable power to create positive, lasting change.
xo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
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The Secret to Changing Anything and Everything
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Episode Highlights: The Secret to Changing Anything and Everything
- Applied Pressure Over Time
- Real change often occurs slowly such that we cannot see it day-to-day.
- It is okay to fall back sometimes. You might feel that you aren’t progressing but most probably, you have improved if you think back to who you were a year ago.
- Figure Out Your Destination and What You Can Measure Over Time
- Figuring out your destination is the first step to changing anything and everything.
- Figure out a way to track your growth over time.
- For example, map out a graph of the progress you’re making towards your goal.
- Figure Out What You Need To Do Constantly
- Figuring out what you need to do every day or constantly is the second step to changing anything and everything.
- Identify the core problem of the subject that you want to change.
- Do Not Abandon Your Efforts Entirely
- An important characteristic of successful people is grit.
- Expect that bad things are going to happen to you.
- You can always get back on track so don’t abandon your hopes and dreams.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.