How to Cultivate an Abundance Mindset

Music in this episode is by Josefin Öhrn + The Liberation with their song ““Feel the Sun”. You can support them and their work by visiting their Bandcamp page here: https://josefinohrnandtheliberation.bandcamp.com/ Under the circumstance of use of music, each portion of used music within this current episode fits under Section 107 of the Copyright Act, i.e., Fair Use. Please refer to copyright.gov if further questions are prompted.

Lisa Marie Bobby:

 Do you ever feel like there’s a limit to how much love, happiness and success you can create in your life? If so, you may have a scarcity mindset going on and not even realize it, but it can hold you back in very real ways. And so on today’s podcast, we are digging into that, talking about how you can shift away from a Scarcity mindset to one of abundance and create a lot of positive things in your life as a result.

Our mood music today is Josephine Orne and the liberation with the song, feel the sun, which is kind of how it feels when you can cultivate an abundance mindset. So that’s why I chose that to set the tone for us. Awesome song. I’m so glad you’re here with me today. I’m Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby. This is a love, happiness and success podcast.

And today we are tackling a really important aspect of mindset. You’ve heard me talk about mindset on podcasts in the past, if you’re a regular listener, and you know, the ability to See what’s happening in your own head and be able to really work with that and shift it in intentional ways makes such a huge difference.

There are a lot of different, um, Variables here. There are a lot of different types of cognitions that are really worthy of this type of intentional redirection, but abundance versus scarcity mindset is truly one of them. And really when it comes to To what we all want, you know, feeling happy and fulfilled in life.

One of the most transformative shifts we can make is recognizing if we are engaging in scarcity thinking without really even knowing it, but once we are like, Oh yeah, I’m doing that, learning how to really perceive the world in a much more positive and, um, generous way is. Incredibly helpful for us in so many different domains of life, career wise, in our relationships, the way we operate our lives and our behaviors related to finances, the way we take care of ourselves.

All of these things are really impacted by an abundance mindset, believe it or not. But most importantly, if you get really good at cultivating an abundance mindset for yourself, you’re going to. feel better like mentally and emotionally. I have seen this transformation happen so many times with my clients over the years.

It’s something that I myself continue to work on because it’s really that important. And so that’s why I really wanted to, uh, walk into this important topic with you today, leaving you with hope. Hopefully some fresh perspective and new understanding of this very important type of cognition, but also truly, um, we’re going to be talking about some actionable things that you can be trying, you know, today after you listen to this podcast and I’d love for you to notice like how you feel differently when you do.

So, um, just to, to begin, uh, and again, going back to many other podcasts and, and just for the record, I will probably be referencing a bunch of other episodes that I have created for you in the past and, uh, you know, mentioning the titles. However, if you want to access. Any podcast that you’ve heard me talk about today or even in previous episodes, just come to my website.

It’s growingself. com. From there, you’ll see blog and podcast right in the main nav. Tap into that and then you’ll see things organized by collection. So like if it’s a relationship podcast, it’ll be in the love collection. It’s all there. Et cetera. Um, you can go into that and then you just like look for the topics.

So like if we’re talking about communication, I have like a communication that connects collection from there. You’ll see like all of the different podcasts, all organized into curated playlists for you. So if you’re like, yeah, I really want to work on communication, I really want to work on mindset. Like we’ll be talking about today.

You can just turn it on and listen to all of them or click around and find what you need. But. Anyway, I just wanted to share that because I have a lot of episodes, like, I don’t know, coming in at 400 or something. And so I’ve tried to organize them for you so it’s, so that it’s just easier for you to find specifically what you’re interested in.

That is my goal. So. To dive right in, we all have to learn how to manage our mindset. If we want to feel good and have positive outcomes and good relationships. And that is harder to do than it sounds. It requires this very important. And not always intuitive skill called metacognition metacognition is the ability to think about what you’re thinking about to actually be aware of your thoughts as they’re happening in your head, your internal dialogue, your mental filter, the automatic core beliefs that come up.

We need to get a little bit of psychological distance from ourselves, even to realize I am telling myself a fairly negative story about X, Y, Z right now. And when you have that distance, when you can, can see, like, look down on your own thought process, then. You can shift it, which is exceptionally important for all of us to learn how to do because one of the things that can create feelings and also outcomes for us are the quality of our thoughts.

If you think. A negative, unhelpful, catastrophic thought about a situation that will result in your feeling bad, discouraged, overwhelmed, before you even start, right? It is the, here’s what I’m thinking about the situation that creates the emotional reaction. And then that emotional reaction will oftentimes influence how you behave.

Um, our emotions drive our behaviors. Conversely, if you are able to, I mean, obviously of the good fortune of thinking helpful thought instinctively about any situation that is always to your advantage, however, even if it’s something that you have to work on to be able to develop a mindset that allows you to feel more confident, hopeful, secure, competent.

Right? Self supportive that will always help you feel calmer, more in control and more able to follow through with whatever actions are necessary that will allow you to have the kind of outcomes that you want in any given situation. So that’s just like a high level, like when I’m talking about mindset and why it is so important, that’s why people who don’t have that ability and Most of us don’t at various times in our life.

I mean, this is a skill that has to be intentionally cultivated and practiced and acquired, but people who have not yet done that work assume that the way they feel automatically is simply the truth of the situation. They’re not even aware that they’re having a thought that is creating the feeling.

Something happened, they feel bad, and now they’re, feel bad. And it is like things are being done to them rather than having a sense of agency around, you know what, I can change my internal experience and have a different, have a different experience because of that. And just for the record, this is not my opinion.

This is the backbone of cognitive therapy, cognitive behavioral therapy, which are the some of the most well researched evidence based approaches to psychotherapy. There’s a long, you know, body of research that talks about how effective these modalities are in treating mental health conditions of things like anxiety, depression, even trauma.

I mean, like learning how to manage your cognitions can make a big difference when it comes to mental health. And, you know, You know, what we’re talking about today isn’t the diagnosis and treatment of a mental health condition. What we’re talking about is how you can use these same ideas and same principles to support your wellbeing and positive relationships and just.

feelings of happiness and, and being able to get better results in your relationships and your career. So, so how to apply evidence based therapy for the purpose of love, happiness, and success, which is what we talk about on this show. So, With that in mind, let’s talk then about an abundance mindset. So, um, what do I mean by this?

An abundance mindset can be understood in contrast to the other side, which is a scarcity mindset. And an abundance mindset. is characterized by the sense of optimism, possibility, gratitude, I think, but, but really the biggest is that one of opportunity, like this, this felt sense that there is a vastness to the world that contains.

A lot of opportunity for you and that everything we want and need is really not, not just possible, but already there, like in great quantities, the world is overflowing with good things that are really individuals with, um, a scarcity mindset have this instinctive core belief that there isn’t enough.

There are limitations. To most things, the, um, resources are finite. There’s a, like the sense of lack or deprivation. And I think it also contributes to this fearful space. Like there isn’t going to be enough for me. Right. And. When the scarcity mindset is present, it turns into this belief that things need to be hoarded, guarded, protected, or that there’s a sense of futility.

Like, why try? There isn’t going to be enough. They’re going to, you know, run out of tickets. I mean, like whatever the thing is versus this abundance mindset. It’s like, there’s more than enough to go around and I’m going to get my fair share too. And so This is one of the, I think, um, primary mindsets that we always all need to be keeping an eye on.

Another very important one that we’ve talked about on other podcasts that we will talk about again in the future is a growth mindset. So growth mindset being, I can learn and grow and develop and I’m evolving versus this mindset that says people are the way they are. So if I’m not good at something right now, I never will be.

So why even try? So that growth mindset versus fixed mindset is a really important one. Um, but at that abundance versus Scarcity is really, really important too. It’s like, it’s like in French cuisine. They have a few like primary sauces they make a lot of other stuff with. These are a couple of like the main mindset types that contribute to many different things.

Um, and you know, I think too, in much broader strokes, you know, there’s this, uh, mindset related to optimism versus pessimism, which actually even like goes into personality things. And you can think of an abundance and scarcity mindset as sort of being a more specific piece of that. Anyway, when you can, Understand an abundance versus scarcity mindset and shift into abundance intentionally.

It is going to change so many things for you on so many different domains of life. Um, for example, I mean, even, even in the workplace, like on the job, right? Um, it can have. A huge impact the way that you show up at work, starting with the story that you are telling yourself about what is happening. So somebody who has been able to cultivate intentionally an abundance mindset believes that there are so many opportunities for them in their career.

Additionally, they tend to view challenges as opportunities to learn and grow. So there is that like dovetailing with a growth mindset. But I think there’s this, this sense that there are many spaces for them to go into, to participate in, and also to be successful in, but most importantly, somebody with an abundance mindset on the job, it views a Success at work as being like the ocean, everybody can have as much success as they can possibly achieve, and we will never make a dent in it, you know, there’s more than enough to go around so that when, you know, colleagues are successful and doing a great work.

Great job. It turns into this like really supportive, collaborative culture. Like people are genuinely happy and excited for the success of others and also feel really good about participating. In the success of others, like, you know, helping somebody else get over the wall feels like their own success.

There’s this, we’re all in it together kind of feeling. And what that does is it contributes to a really positive organizational culture. Also, you know, very, um, I think collaborative and positive interpersonal relationships at work, but it also mobilizes this team effort. I mean, you know, I, I think that, um, wise people understand that we are all in this together.

together and really need each other, particularly in challenging professions. Right. And so it fosters this collaborative mindset where I am helping you and it mobilizes this reciprocal, um, generosity and support. of your team to also help you. And this contributes in really powerful ways to your own, not just success in your job, but I think enjoyment and long term satisfaction in a career.

But it requires this abundance mindset that really the core says there’s more than enough. Success and praise and kudos for everyone here to be, to be the hero of this story. It’s not just me. In contrast, a scarcity mindset is this sometimes very subtle core belief where, um, You know, people believe that they’re in a highly competitive environment.

If you win, that means I lose. Opportunities are limited and that leads them oftentimes to feel very threatened by colleagues to success. Um, resources are hoarded, you know, people aren’t sharing and collaborating and helping other people. Um, it feels like it’s me against you a little bit and that creates outcomes that are exactly the opposite of the happy path that we described.

You know, um, it turns into situations where, where people oftentimes feel much more stressed at work. They don’t have as good relationships. They’re not having as good of a time, frankly, but also they’re much less likely to have the support. of a team around them and as a result, less likely to experience their own success.

So I just wanted to offer those two differences and invite you to think, you know, with honesty where you fall on that spectrum. And I do say spectrum. I mean, it’s not, you know, this isn’t like a black or white thing. I think all of us can kind of move from one end of this spectrum. spectrum to the other.

Um, and also, I mean, the environments that we’re in, if we’re in emotionally safe and collaborative, um, cultures and environments, I think it will sort of naturally draw out an abundance mindset if that’s kind of the hive mindset of the group that we’re in. So that’s definitely a reality. It’s, it’s difficult to have a abundance mindset in a workspace where, you know, you’re working with a bunch of.

Pirates are like all out for themselves. So, you know, that is definitely a thing, but to reflect on your own, uh, typical and kind of instinctive way of viewing work relationships and work situations, is this, is this, there’s enough to go around or is it everybody here is out for themselves? Um, and just think about the impact that that’s having on your life.

And again, the hard part is recognizing that that’s a thought in your head at all, because without that, that metacognition ability, without the ability to really see and hear what you are telling yourself, we assume that things are true. Well, it is a very competitive environment, or yes, of course, there’s more than enough to go around.

People are not aware that they are looking through the filter of their own eyes to decide what is true about a situation. You could have two people standing side by side in exactly the same situation. One of them could say, yeah, everybody’s out for themselves. It’s a free for all. And the other could say, oh my gosh, this is such a wonderful opportunity and so many, so many different spaces to grow and be successful here.

It is not objective reality. It is what they are telling themselves about the situation. So what are you usually telling yourself about this kind of situation when it comes to your professional role? Write it down, do some journaling here, get some visibility and think about what would be a more helpful story, a more abundant mindset for me to be telling myself in this moment and practice this a little bit and notice how it leads you to feel and what it leads you to do and the result that you get because of that.

Another very important and, and quite common place for abundance mindset versus scarcity mindset to lead to really big differences in the outcomes that people have are around financial stability and, and financial wellness, you know, um, an example here I think would be, um, um, Well, people with an abundance mindset tend to have a lot more confidence in their ability to create wealth and financial stability.

Um, there is a core belief that m m money, Is a resource that they have access to and that they can obtain it and then manage it in order to achieve their goals and have a fulfilling life. And I think because of that, they tend to approach financial decisions with, with optimism and are also open to exploring new opportunities for prosperity.

Like, how can I put my money to work for me? Um, I will caution you by saying that an abundance mindset, I think is again, more of like, how, how do I grow and develop security here as opposed to a, um, perhaps irrational abundance mindset that says, it doesn’t matter how much money I spend, there will always be more.

So I think that that mindset can be unhelpful for people in many ways. You know, certainly if it turns into racking up a pile of debt. However, when we contrast this with a scarcity mindset, um, really has a lot of stuff oftentimes attached to money and finances that’s coming from a place of fear and lack.

There may be persistent feelings of anxiety about money or going out into the future, like far into the future and imagining, you know, catastrophic outcomes where they don’t have enough to meet their needs. Needs, um, can also even turn into, uh, financial hoarding. In a way that is damaging to themselves and their lives, you know, it’s not necessary, but the not investing in things that really would provide value and meaning to their lives that, you know, saving money becomes more important than investing in, in other things like, you know, enjoying their lives a little bit or taking care of their health.

Right. Um, And also it can turn into an over cautiousness about taking risks on investments, like really appropriate investments, which can become the self fulfilling prophecy. You’re not pursuing opportunities to grow and manage wealth in healthy ways, which will lead to less positive outcomes for you in the future.

But there’s this. This fear of, I need to hold on to everything versus, you know what? I provide value to the world and the world repays me with financial abundance. And it’s, you know, we’re in synergy here. Similarly, an abundance mindset can also show up in very dramatic ways of, as kind of scarcity mindset when it comes to relationships and love, um, an abundance mindset.

We’ll have core beliefs around relationships that there is an abundance of love for me. I deserve to receive love. It is safe for me to be in relationship with other people and that. You know, uh, there are all kinds of opportunities to have meaningful connections with others and that I can give of myself generously and have positive expectations that other people will do the same for me.

And so this abundance mindset when it comes to love, I think really turns into expressions of kindness and generosity and, and I think a genuine enthusiasm for the wellbeing of others. It’s. It’s safe to give love because I will receive love. Again, there’s that synergy there. In contrast, again, the scarcity mindset will approach relationships from a very different place.

You know, there’s, um, a fearfulness, insecurity, like there isn’t a lot of love to go around. If, if my partner cares about other things or other people besides me, that means I’m not getting enough. Um, it can also be a lot of fearfulness, like clinging to relationships. It’s even toxic relationships, unhealthy relationships, but like, if I don’t have this relationship, I won’t, I won’t have another one.

Like this is the only one that is possible for me. So there could be a lot of, um, Adverse outcomes. If there is a scarcity mindset at work in relationships, jealousy, possessiveness. I mean, so many different things here. Feeling threatened, right? Again, the, the point is not to frame this as, uh, either you have an abundance mindset or you have a scarcity mindset.

It’s an opportunity for all of us just to reflect thoughtfully on, yeah, what am I telling myself about the opportunities that are available for me when it comes to love and relationships? And, you know, I do have this mindset that there isn’t quite enough. Love to go around again. And how does that make me react to people or, or feel fearful in certain situations, whereas a more helpful way of thinking about this, there’s a lot of love to go around, we can love more than one person in different ways.

My partner can care a lot about their friends and their families and also me. And I, I trust that I am. Lovable. I am loving. I, I am worthy of love and respect. It all goes along with this. You know, we’ve talked in previous podcasts quite a bit about attachment styles, right? Anxious attachment, avoidant attachment, all of the things, but really, um, So when we go deeply into attachment styles, this goes into personality, this can go into core wiring because our attachment styles are often formed very early in our lives.

It’s our imprint on how I relate to other humans, right? And it is pre verbal. It is not typically attached to any thoughts at all. It’s just this emotional reaction to different relational situations. And Today, we are talking about mindset, the cognitions, the thoughts that come along with, and often contribute to the way that we feel.

So an abundance mindset is essentially the language of our attachment style. When we’re thinking about relationships through an abundance versus scarcity mindset, an abundant Mindset towards relationships is how people who have a secure attachment style talk to themselves about what is happening in their relationships.

A scarcity mindset could be the analogy of how somebody with an anxious attachment style is talking to themselves about what is happening in their relationship. So it’s the difference between the feelings, but then like the words. So if you are concerned about attachment styles, and this is something that you’d like to work on creating an abundance narrative for yourself, when it comes to relationships.

Is one of the pathways to developing a more secure attachment style. I have so much more information for you on this topic. I’ve again, recorded podcasts on the subject in the past, and I would love to invite you to come to my website, growingself. com in the blog and podcast section in the love collection.

I believe most of the attachment podcasts are in a, a content collection called healthy relationships. Tap on in there. You’ll find a playlist with a number of different podcasts on that topic. So check that one out. So there are so many benefits to developing an abundant mindset. And we talked about some impact on relationships.

finances, career. And before we end, though, I just want to call attention to how powerful the impact of consciously developing an abundance mindset can be on different aspects of your internal experience. Not just love, not just success, but your happiness as well. So when you have an abundant mindset, active inside of yourself, it fosters many different things, including feeling better about yourself and increasing your self esteem.

You, when you think, I am in a world that is full of self esteem. So many opportunities for me and I can get plugged into all of these. It inherently supports a narrative of your own self worth and your confidence. I am worthy and I am able. To tap into whatever it is that I want and need. And you also see a lot more opportunities for your own advancement and success with that mindset, which also leads you to feel more hopeful about your future.

You know, with an abundant mindset, I think allows you to approach your entire life with a sense, more of optimism, possibility, the sense that best is yet to come and that there’s just limitless. Opportunities for me, which also then leads to a sense of increased motivation to actively pursue your goals.

So one of the, the just primary core beliefs when it comes to setting a goal and then, you know, going through the trouble of attaining it is that attaining something is a goal. So if you have an abundance mindset that says, yeah, it’s possible, you can totally create that outcome in your life that supports your motivation to do the work of making that happen.

In contrast, a scarcity mindset that is going to close a door before you even get started, like, no, that isn’t going to work out, or. No, there’s, there’s not enough there, you know, other people have already done that. There’s nothing left for you, right? You cannot possibly be motivated to attain something if the subconscious part of you believes that it won’t matter anyway.

And if you are harboring a scarcity mindset, that’s going to be happening inside of you at very deep levels that you’re not fully even aware of yet. An abundance mindset versus a scarcity mindset will. really change the way that you feel on the inside in many different ways. So we talked about a few different strategies for being able to start doing this in yourself.

You know, step one, as we discussed, it’s getting visibility. So you have to crack under your own. Right. You can get there through journaling. What am I telling myself about this situation that is making me feel hopeless or like there is no point in even trying or, you know, it’s not going to end well, what, what’s going on with that?

Writing out about it, if that is hard for you to crack into, which it is for many people because we’re so, uh, I think invested in our own thinking process that it can be difficult for us to really get some psychological perspective on it. That’s why it can be so helpful to talk with a therapist or a coach who is able to really help you get some visibility into your own thinking style to be providing you with feedback around, really, is that true?

Or where does that belief come from to help you even understand that you’re having a belief about something at all? I mean, again, it sounds kind of weird, but most of the stuff stuff that we think and we feel, we just assume to be the truth with a capital T. And it requires, I think, a partnership of somebody who’s like, let’s talk about this a little bit more to help help us all.

I think, see the reality of that. Um, if you are dealing with a mental health concern, so anxiety, depression, absolutely find a clinical psychologist who can help you crack into how your mindset may be contributing to that. Experience. However, if you’re working on more, I think life goals and want better relationships, improved career outcomes, want to get better with money, or just sort of want to feel happier and more confident, uh, therapy may not be the right answer for you because therapy is for the purpose of diagnosing and treating mental health conditions, which is why I, and, and I think increasingly, Many other therapists have pursued coaching as a modality that can be much more helpful for our clients in this situation.

And it may be more helpful for you too, which is really about considering what’s going on, where you want to go, and then what are the internal and external obstacles that are getting in the way of your being able to do that. And so mindset would be one. of the internal obstacles that we all face that gets in the way of us being able to create the outcomes that we desire.

So most therapists have not gone through a certification as coaches, so they might not know what I’m talking about right now. So if you want to do this kind of work. Look for a therapist who practices coaching psychology, like the therapist’s a growing self. Um, but you know, there are certainly others out there who have done coaching certification above and beyond their clinical mental health experience.

Um, other things that you can do on your own that can help you develop an abundance mindset, simple strategies. And I know that this one sounds so corny and you’re like, all right, stop already. But, uh, a gratitude practice. I, I know that this is often discussed and we can kind of tune it out. Yeah. Yeah.

Gratitude practice. But truly, I mean, if you are intentionally practicing, noticing how many wonderful things there are in the world, how many good things are happening, how much opportunity there is, how much you’re already receiving, that will help you develop the kind of abundance mindset that we’ve been talking about today.

So, you know, just. Small moments. It doesn’t have to be like a formal meditation or journaling practice, but just challenge yourself to notice what is going well as one of the simplest and most straightforward things that you can do to develop an abundance mindset. Additionally, and I think relatedly, practicing generosity in small, simple ways will help you experience yourself as overflowing with so much wonderful stuff that it is easy and effortless for you to share it with others.

It may be giving somebody else your time, uh, or, you know, offering to help someone else. Paying for the coffee of the person behind you in the drive thru, doing something extra nice just because you can. It certainly creates positive vibes in relationships and in your life. But also you are demonstrating to yourself that you are living in abundance because generous people have more than enough to share.

And so you’re also training yourself, you are teaching yourself who you are. You are. When we’re generous with others, it fills us up, it provides a sense of fulfillment, but it contributes to this abundance experience, which is kind of paradoxical, but it’s when we give things away that we experience the most abundance within our hearts and our souls.

So, I’ll just share that. So, lastly. Um, the most important thing here, and I hope if you take nothing else away, it is, uh, just being very conscious of your perspective and the, the glasses, the, the lens that you’re looking through the world with and just challenging yourself every once in a while. Am I viewing this through a lens of abundance?

Or scarcity and to follow your feelings because nine times out of 10, when you feel badly about something, when you feel discouraged or overwhelmed or like, Oh, it’ll never work. Uh, be true. I don’t mean, I don’t know what you’re trying to do, but nine 10, if you really crack into that, you can identify a mindset that is contributing to the way that you feel.

And that. It’s a very powerful growth experience, so abundance mindset versus scarcity mindset. I’m so glad that we talked about this today, and I really hope that this was helpful for you. If you would like to get a little bit more visibility into what is going on inside of you and how Start working with various aspects of your internal self in order to get different external results.

I invite you to come again to my website growingself. com and take my what’s holding you back quiz. You can find this by just going into the free resources section of my website. I have all kinds of different quizzes and activities that I’ve put together for you. But take the what’s holding you back quiz because your scores and your results are going to give you visibility into how a bunch of different domains of yourself, but including your thinking styles and whether or not there’s growth work for you to do around your way of thinking.

It’ll give you lots of other information too, but I just wanted to put that in front of you as a resource that I put together to support your growth. But thank you so much for spending this time with me today. I love this topic. I’m so glad we could. Do this together and I will be back in touch with you next week with another episode of the love, happiness and success podcast.

All right. Until then, take care.