The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Music Credits: Eyelids, “Furthest Blue”
How to Reinvent Yourself
“I want to reinvent myself!” Have you ever said that to yourself? Have you ever wished you could just cast off the old, tired, annoying or boring parts of your life, drop that old baggage off at the Goodwill and drive away: free, fresh, reborn? Me too. Everyone craves a good fresh start sometimes — the chance to leave behind the old things that are no longer serving you, and be a better version of yourself.
You might already have ideas about the aspirational “you” you’d like to become: What you’d look like, or what your life would be like, or even how you’d feel. Energized, excited, happy, productive, interesting (and with nicely manicured nails). But how to get away from the self you are now? The one who feels tired, disengaged, disorganized, and happy to just sit on the couch and watch Netflix rather than reading articles like this one.
Help is here. I’m a psychologist and life coach who has helped countless people reinvent themselves in positive ways, and I have personally been through a number of my own personal “moltings” as well. If you’re ready to reinvent yourself, you’re in the right place. On today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’m sharing lots of actionable advice that you can use to begin your personal reinvention process today.
First of all: I have good news and bad news:
- It is absolutely possible to reinvent yourself, but
- The process of actually doing so is easier said than done.
Just wanted to manage your expectations about what’s in store for you.
Here’s the problem: You can make big, dramatic changes in your life relatively quickly and easily. You can cut off all your hair, quit your job, sell all your stuff and move into an RV. You’re free! Reinvented! Right?? Not so fast.
This kind of “personal reinvention” through changing of circumstances is relatively simple. It’s just a matter of logistics, and chutzpah. The bigger issue is that you are still you, no matter what color your hair is or whether you’re sitting in an RV instead of at a desk.
Whether your hair is pink, blue or brown, under the fuzz, you will still have the same core beliefs getting triggered, the same habitual ways of thinking, the same self-concepts, the same personal habits, the same ways of communicating, and the same reactions to the world that you always have. Without a deep dive into rearranging your inner experience on a more substantial level, sooner or later, you’re going to wind up feeling pretty much the same way you usually do, and creating the same set of circumstances that you were trying to escape in the first place.
Changing your circumstances is easy. Actually, authentically reinventing yourself? More complicated.
Reinventing Your Life
True, authentic reinvention that leads to substantial, permanent change is an internal process: not an event. It can’t be bought or created in an industrious weekend, like the way you’d “poof” a hall closet into a mini-office with a nifty drop-down desk. It requires deliberation, self awareness, and intentional effort applied over time.
But the good news is that once you achieve it, it’s yours to keep. There’s no going back from authentic, inner transformation. You earned it fair and square, and nobody can ever take it away from you.
But how? How to actually change yourself and reinvent your life on a substantial level?
If you’re feeling overdue for a personal overhaul, I’m here to help. On today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast I’m doing a deep dive into the psychology of reinvention to give you some actionable strategies for releasing your old stuff and embracing your aspirations.
In This Episode: Reinvent Yourself, We’ll Be Discussing:
- Reset For Reinvention
Did you know that there are certain types of life circumstances that essentially act as glue, holding you in place? (Even if you want to change?) That’s why I’ll be sharing some life-hacks to help you break old patterns, so that you can get out of a rut.
- Catalysts of Self Reinvention
Timing is important when it comes to personal reinvention. Just like the ocean tides get higher at certain times of day, there are times of life (even times of year) where the forces of reinvention are working with you or against you. I’ll share what those “magical moments” are, so you can be ready to jump on them the next time they come around.
- Reinvention and Motivation
To reinvent your life you do have to have motivation in order to make it through the twists and turns you’ll encounter along the way. But… what’s motivation? Lots of people think that motivation is a feeling of excited determination that gives us strength to do hard things. Newp. Motivation is actually much more common than that, and it’s around you all the time. But it’s in disguise. I’ll explain what motivation really is, and how you can get it — and keep it.
- Self Reinvention vs. Homeostasis
Everyone who tries to reinvent them self will, usually fairly quickly, encounter what feels like an energetic elastic band snapping them back into place. Hello, homeostasis! Homeostasis is the fancy word for the fact that the systems we’re in currently are all disinclined to support your personal reinvention activities. Unless you’re actively managing homeostasis, any personal reinvention efforts are going to feel like swimming against the current — I’ll show you what to look for, so you can stop them from sabotaging you.
- Reinventing Your Life By Using Your Strengths
Remember at the beginning of this article when I started by speaking out loud our shared fantasy that we could just rid ourselves of all the parts of us and our lives that we don’t like, and be done with them forever? Sigh. That is not even remotely how this works! The truth is actually much nicer: Genuine reinvention starts with you figuring out all the wonderful things about you and your life that are keepers, and then how to use all that goodness as the raw materials to build up the things you want more of. True, authentic reinvention isn’t about purging. It’s about “empowered embracing” and self-love. I’ll share how.
- Reinvent a Relationship
If one of the hardest parts of your life is a relationship, good news: you can reinvent a relationship too. If you’ve been feeling super-frustrated with your partner lately, I’ll be sharing the tricky paradox for relationship reinvention that can be easy to miss. (But empowering, once you learn it).
- Superficial Reinvention vs. “Sleeper” Reinvention
Did you know that one of the most powerful and transformative kinds of personal reinvention can actually happen without you even realizing it’s happening? This is called a “sleeper” reinvention, and it is the exact opposite of the superficial reinvention that we try to force to happen (i.e., the ones that fizzle fast). When you know how to get in conscious alignment with a “sleeper” nothing can stop you. I’ll share why this is, and how to make it happen for you.
Reinventing Yourself on the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast
Personal reinvention is exciting, complex, and so, so, worth it. I love this topic, and I’m so glad to be discussing this with you on today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast. Tune in to learn all about how to reinvent yourself, and then be sure to leave any follow-up questions for me in the comments.
Your partner in growth!
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
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The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
Music Credits: Eyelids, “Furthest Blue”
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- True Reinvention
- Reinventing yourself goes beyond making physical and circumstantial changes.
- Unless you undergo a meaningful reinvention process, you’re still going to be the same you.
- We’re living in the context of systems that tend to hold us in place.
- So, it can be difficult to reinvent yourself inside a system that pulls you back into your old ways.
- However, you don’t have to accept the hands you were dealt. You can decide to drop the aspects of yourself that no longer serve you.
- The Process of Reinvention
- Meaningful reinvention requires us to go into this inner journey.
- Many people have the misconception that you must change everything about yourself in order to reinvent yourself.
- However, it’s more about understanding and developing the best parts of you.
- Having space and intentional separation can be a dramatic system reset, especially for struggling couples.
- Breaking Patterns
- A pattern disruption may help you in your journey of reinvention, as it forces you to change your ways.
- You can look for natural resets such as finding a new job or moving somewhere else, to facilitate natural reinvention.
- Even the changing of seasons or a staycation can be an opportunity for reinvention.
- These events allow you to pause and come back and see your situation differently.
- Finding your Motivation for Change
- It takes a lot of energy and intention to stage a true reinvention.
- When your reinvention is not anchored to a very core and powerful thing, you won’t have the energy to sustain it.
- Ask why you want to reinvent in the first place and if your reason is not compelling enough, take a step back and do it some other time.
- Drawing on Your Strengths
- Some people think that reinvention is about moving away from something that we don’t like.
- However, it’s more important to lean on our strengths when we’re trying to change our situation.
- Figure out what your core strengths are and use them to deliberately shift your circumstances.
- Also, recognize that you are an agent in your own life. That way, you will be empowered to act on your reinvention.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.
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