How to Increase Your Confidence
Who doesn’t want to increase their confidence, even a little? As a therapist and life coach, one of the most common goals most of my clients have is to increase their confidence, and feel more empowered.
Seriously, even our most confident seeming friends will say they need more confidence. Funny thing about creating self confidence, it’s one of the most desired things in the world, and we all have the funds to pay for an unlimited supply of it, so why don’t we?
The Currency to “Buy” Confidence
It’s the currency that gets in our way of accessing the unlimited supply of confidence available to each of us. The currency to unlock greater confidence is engaging in acts of courage.
The more a situation calls for courage, the more confidence is offered in return. A little courage delivers a little confidence.
Where does this happen? In the land of the unknown, it happens outside of our comfort zone. The place we often spend our lives avoiding, learning to stay safe — within what is known, familiar, and predictable. To be honest, our brains were developed to seek this. If we are safe, we survive, and from a biological and evolutionary perspective, that has been our job: survival, and we’ve done well (obviously).
There are many ways you can increase your confidence. Here are two practical ideas to get you started.
2 Ways to Increase Your Confidence
1. Write A “What Scares Me” List
Include the small things (spiders) and the big things (standing up to my boss, asking someone on a date, skydiving)… and then face the fears. Start slowly and with small steps… look at a picture of a spider… or dive in with big jumps (when safe and appropriate) like signing up for a skydive. The key is, the more time that you spend feeling the seconds of discomfort for being outside your comfort zone, the more confidence you experience.
2. Start Asking Yourself THIS Question When Making Decisions
“If I had access to all the confidence I would need to see this decision through, then I’d choose to… “ (and do that one, because you know you have the unlimited courage funds to spend).
Is it easy? Not usually, especially at the beginning. But does it feel good to be living in an abundance of confidence? Worth every penny.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.