Rachel Moore is a warm, thoughtful and effective relationship coach, life coach, and marriage counselor with Growing Self Counseling & Coaching. She has a results-oriented approach, and a positive, affirming style that helps you get to the heart of the matter — empowering you to make transformational changes in your life, and in your relationship.
The Currency of Confidence
Who wants more confidence? Everyone! As a therapist and life coach, one of the most common goals most of my clients have is to increase their confidence, and feel more empowered. [Check out: Creating Self Confidence]
Seriously, even our most confident seeming friends will say they need more confidence. Funny thing about confidence, it’s one of the most desired things in the world, and we all have the funds to pay for an unlimited supply of it, so why don’t we?
The Currency to “Buy” Confidence
It’s the currency that gets in our way to accessing the unlimited supply of confidence available to each of us. The currency to unlock greater confidence is the engaging in acts of courage. What’s the “currency of confidence?” Courage.
Act with courage = increase confidence
The more a situation calls for courage, the more confidence is offered in return. A little courage delivers a little confidence.
Where does this happen? In the land of the unknown, it happens outside of our comfort zone. The place that we often spend our lives avoiding, learning to stay in the safety within what is known, familiar and predictable. To be honest, our brains were developed to seek this. If we are safe, we survive and from a biological and evolutionary perspective that has been our job: Survival, and we’ve done well (obviously).
There are many ways we can expand our experience of confidence. Here are two practical ideas to get you started.
1. Write a “what scares me” list: Include the small things (spiders) and the big things (standing up to my boss, asking someone on a date, skydiving)… and then face the fears. Start slowly and with small steps… looking at a picture of a spider… or dive in with big jumps (when safe and appropriate) like signing up for a skydive. The key is, the more time that you spend feeling the seconds of discomfort for being outside your comfort zone, the more confidence you experience.
2. Start asking yourself this question when making decisions. “If I had access to all the confidence I would need to see this decision through, then I’d choose to…. “ (and do that one, because you know you have the unlimited courage funds to spend).
Is it easy? Not usually, especially at the beginning. But does it feel good to be living in an abundance of confidence? Worth every penny.