Last updated: December 15, 2025

Most of us are taught how to set goals for our careers, finances, health, and personal growth. Yet far fewer couples pause to ask a more meaningful question: What are we intentionally creating together in our relationship? Whether couples are considering couples counseling or marriage counseling, achieving your couple goals starts with clarity, intention, and a shared commitment to growth.

Achieving your couple goals is not about fixing what is broken or waiting until a marriage feels like it is in trouble. In strong, healthy relationships, couples choose growth proactively. Over time, that choice builds love, happiness, and success while deepening emotional intimacy and strengthening communication.

That is why I wanted to revisit this conversation. The ideas we explore feel just as relevant now as ever, especially for couples navigating busy lives, evolving identities, and changing priorities while still wanting their relationship to feel safe, connected, and meaningful.

In this episode of Love, Happiness and Success, I am joined by Sarah B., a licensed marriage and family therapist and relationship coach, to talk about how couples can clarify shared goals, uncover obstacles in relationships, and communicate with more intention so a marriage grows stronger with time.

Why Achieving Your Couple Goals Works Best Before a Crisis

One of the most persistent myths about relationships is that couples counseling or coaching is only needed when something is wrong. Many people assume support is reserved for couples already in distress.

In practice, couples who experience the most love, happiness, and success in a marriage are often the ones who begin early. Instead of reacting to problems, they take a growth-focused approach. They treat their relationship the same way they treat their physical health or financial planning, with consistent care rather than emergency intervention.

Research supports this proactive mindset. Studies on shared goals show that couples who align around meaningful goals experience greater relationship satisfaction and emotional well-being over time (Frontiers in Psychology, 2021). In other words, achieving your couple goals builds resilience long before a crisis ever appears.

How Couples Uncover Obstacles in Relationships

Even deeply loving couples face obstacles. One of the most common challenges is emotional awareness. Many adults were never taught how to identify their feelings or communicate their emotional needs clearly.

Without a shared emotional language, partners may slip into defensiveness, criticism, withdrawal, or blame. These patterns can quietly erode connection, even when both people want closeness. Learning how to communicate with awareness helps couples interrupt these cycles, a process explored further in The Solution-Focused Therapy Questions That Stop Communication Breakdown.

Another obstacle is pride. Growth requires humility and self-reflection. When partners believe the problem lives entirely with the other person, meaningful change becomes difficult. Achieving your couple goals asks both people to stay open, curious, and willing to grow together.

Why Being “Messy” Builds Emotional Intimacy

Emotional intimacy does not come from perfection. It develops when couples allow themselves to be human. Growth-focused couples understand that vulnerability, not polish, creates connection.

When partners are honest about missteps, unmet needs, and emotional triggers, trust grows. This safety allows couples to move away from blame and toward collaboration. Over time, this kind of emotional intimacy becomes one of the most powerful drivers of relationship satisfaction, as supported by research on communication and responsiveness in close relationships (Frontiers in Psychology, 2021).

A Simple Relationship Practice That Supports Couple Goals

One of the most effective tools for achieving your couple goals is also one of the simplest. Regularly asking your partner, “What do you need from me that you’re not getting right now?” keeps communication open and proactive.

This practice allows couples to address small disconnects early. It also reinforces the idea that both partners’ needs matter. For many relationships, pairing this question with a structured relationship check-in or exploring five intimate questions to ask your partner can strengthen emotional intimacy even further.

Designing Shared Goals for a Marriage That Grows

Achieving your couple goals is not only about problem-solving. It is also about dreaming together. When couples imagine their future, they often uncover values around security, adventure, family, career, or lifestyle.

These conversations help couples align individual aspirations with a shared direction. They also make it easier to navigate decisions around finances, parenting, and major life transitions. Articles like Why the “Relationships Are Hard Work” Idea Is Just Wrong and Letting Go of Old Relationship Patterns expand on this idea of intentional growth in relationships.

Communicating With Awareness, Empathy, and Boundaries

Communication is one of the most common goals couples bring into therapy or coaching. Effective communication begins with self-awareness. When you can identify what you feel and what you need, you are more likely to communicate clearly and calmly.

Empathy also plays a critical role. When partners feel heard, defensiveness softens. This approach aligns closely with guidance shared in How to Be Emotionally Available in Relationships and How to Cultivate Positivity in Your Relationship.

Healthy communication does not mean avoiding disagreement. Instead, it means learning how to communicate without causing harm and how to return to connection after conflict.

Emotional Safety Around Sex and Money

Sex and money often carry emotional weight. Both topics can activate vulnerability, shame, or fear, even in otherwise strong relationships.

Growth-focused couples talk about their sex life outside the bedroom. They discuss what works, what feels disconnected, and what might need attention. This openness supports emotional safety and deepens intimacy.

Money requires the same honesty. Financial secrecy can damage trust just as deeply as other forms of betrayal, a concept explored in research on financial infidelity (Journal of Consumer Research, 2020). Resources like Money & Relationships: How to Combine Finances After Marriage can help couples approach these conversations with clarity and respect.

You Do Not Have to Be on the Same Page, Just the Same Book

Achieving your couple goals does not require identical values or dreams. Healthy relationships allow room for differences. Partners can support each other’s individual growth while still staying aligned around shared purpose.

This flexibility helps couples remain connected over time. It also reinforces the idea that love, happiness, and success in a marriage grow when both people feel seen, respected, and supported.

A Thoughtful Next Step

If you are thinking about what you want for your relationship moving forward, I would love to offer you a gentle next step.

You can answer three quick questions so we can better understand what feels most important in your relationship right now and help connect you with the right expert. This private, secure process only takes a couple of minutes and is designed to support couples who want to clarify their goals, strengthen emotional intimacy, and communicate more effectively as they build a marriage grounded in love, happiness, and success. Schedule a free consultation now.

Your relationship deserves the same care and intention as every other meaningful goal in your life.

xoxo,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Music

Music in this episode is by Donna Summer and Giorgio Meroder with their song “I Feel Love.” Under the circumstance of use of music, each portion of used music within this current episode fits under Section 107 of the Copyright Act, i.e., Fair Use. Please refer to copyright.gov if further questions are prompted.