Our Discernment Counselors Help You Find Your Way Forward.
Clarity + Hope
Discernment counseling is different. While the goal of couples counseling, marriage counseling, and relationship coaching is to improve your relationship, the goal of discernment counseling or discernment coaching is not relationship repair. It is to help you both reach certainty about the future you want — together, or apart.
Through discernment counseling, you discover each other’s commitment and motivation for repairing your relationship. This can restore confidence and hope for the future of your relationship.
Then marriage counseling can be productive.
Confidence + Direction
Couples enter discernment counseling when one (or both) is wondering if it’s time to call it quits in a relationship. A discernment counselor will assess your relationship, and provide a clear picture of what repairing your relationship will require.
After exploring the possibilities, many couples emerge from discernment counseling feeling confident that their marriage is worth saving and ready to invest in the work ahead.
The honest understanding achieved through discernment counseling becomes your road map to healing and growth.
Expert Discernment Counseling & Coaching at Growing Self
Some couples only darken the door of a marriage counselor once one partner has revealed an affair or another issue, or asked for a divorce. Other couples wait too long to get help and enter counseling with “mixed agendas.” Although both partners say they want to try, one or both may have lost the faith, hope, and trust necessary to fix their relationship. This unspoken ambivalence can sabotage couples therapy.
Only experienced marriage and family therapists, with rare and specialized training in discernment counseling, can help couples at these crossroads. The skillful, professional discernment counselors at Growing Self help both partners clarify their understanding, motivation, and commitment. Then the path forward will be revealed.
Supportive Discernment Counseling for Both Partners
for Partners “Leaning In”
If your partner has just asked for a separation or divorce, it’s normal to feel sad, hurt, and scared. You want to do everything possible to stop a divorce and save your relationship: You’re leaning in.
Discernment counseling helps “leaning in” partners manage big emotions, and understand what your “leaning out” partner is needing in order to feel more hopeful about your relationship.
for Partners “Leaning Out”
If you’re “leaning out” of your relationship, you may have felt sad, disappointed, and hurt for some time. Even if you still love your partner, you may have lost hope that the marriage can be saved, or that growth and change are possible.
Discernment counseling helps you get clear about your options and feel confident in your relationship again — or in your decision to part peacefully.
Meet a Few of Our Relationship Discernment Counselors
See What Our Clients are Saying
“The best thing that Hunter did was hold us accountable and make sure that we were always clear and understood. If at any time we didn’t feel like we were achieving anything he was there to help guide us to more vulnerable communication.”
“Her ability to facilitate open and honest conversation has been extremely impactful.”
“Dr. Amy is very professional and helpful.”
Dr. Amy S.
“She’s very nice. She’s smart and she leads the sessions well. We really like Tomauro.”
“Josephine showed us tools for recognizing conflicts / poor communication and pursuing resolution and achieving thoughtful dialogue. She also reinforced what was good about our relationship :)”
“The most helpful part was Hunter’s understanding nature and ability to condense down what we said. He was very affirming in nature and was also able to offer perspective. I really appreciate that we was the one who led the discussion about having achieved our goals. As for different, I don’t think there is anything at this time.”
“Georgi was wonderful and I really appreciated her process minded approach. She was very good at deconstructing complex situations or emotions in a methodical way that made obstacles seem easier to overcome. She also made sure that myself and my partner felt validated throughout the process. I like that Georgi let us come forward with anything that happened in the week but she also always had a plan to direct the conversation in case we did not have anything to talk about.”
“Lisa is very kind and she can hear our concerns and guide and direct us appropriately.”
“Elizabeth always is prepared. She is thoughtful and asks thought-provoking questions. We are enjoying our sessions with her.”
“She has provided us with reassurance and helpful techniques to use.”
“I like the way that she talks with us and she makes me feel really comfortable after previous therapy experiences going poorly. And I think that she gives us good homework and tools that we can use.”
“He listens well. Hunter helped to teach us how to listen to each other, and how to be vulnerable, honest, and to open up about everything.”
“I just wanted to thank you [Roseann] for the great session today. Your read on things has been remarkably accurate and we’re really happy we found you. I know we’re just beginning, but I’m incredibly encouraged by the real progress we’re already making and we’re very much looking forward to seeing you next week.”
“The quiz we took separately and then reviewing our answers to learn about our similarities and differences was really helpful. Also the “I feel/I need” communication technique was great advice!”
“She’s [Georgi] empathetic, caring and we both feel supported by her.”
“We’re doing great! Indeed we had some fights, but always with a happy ending and no hard feelings afterwards. Thanks a lot for your help, it was crucial for our development as a couple.”
“Dr. Rachel is knowledgeable and professional. She is helping us make real progress on our relationship challenges and we are stronger as a team because of her guidance”.
“Dr. Georgiana has been an enormous help to us as we’ve confronted challenging issues. She is helping us talk through things effectively.”
“I feel Ben is a good fit for us. We both felt comfortable talking with him.”
“Brittany has helped us find ways to deal with our differences, and avoid the downward spiraling of dumb bickering. We have learned ways to better communicate, relax our minds and bodies when things seem to be going badly, and stay more connected with each other.”
“Not only was Renelle a great personality fit for us, her intelligence and experience in the areas we need really came through along with her approach as a teacher as much as a therapist – all the things we are looking for.”
“Teresa’s welcoming smile, warm and personal approach, and consistent ability to positively shift our perspectives really helped us grow as individuals, and as a couple.”
“We absolutely loved working with Jenna. We both were emotional when closing out, never thought we could get closer and stronger in our relationship, yet we have grown leaps and bounds.”
“Kathleen is supportive, adaptive, and professional. After a few sessions, I feel that she has taken the time to understand us and tailor our sessions to fit our style!”
“My partner and I have been seeing Dr. Harold for 4-5 couples sessions so far, and he has been incredibly personable and warm from our first time meeting him at the consult. He has provided us both with a safe place where we feel encouraged to be vulnerable with one another. We absolutely love working with him, and plan to keep doing so!”
“Linda is an empathetic listener, an analytical counselor. She helps you live better.”
“We are getting the tools that we need to better communicate and be more considerate of one another’s moods and needs. Natalie has offered straightforward information and concrete steps. Also, the zoom meetings are far more effective than I anticipated. The technology is easy to use and it creates the right environment for this sort of thing.”
“Bre is very bubbly but also patient and good at taking care of any concerns or questions throughout the process.”
“She [Dr. Georgiana] is taking us through historical issues that need to be addressed before we can move forward. She tells it straight, “If things continue like this you can expect xyz…” She encourages and makes a case for decisions to be made, to take a stand and follow through.”
“Lisa seemed to understand our unique situation and highly capable of helping us.”
“I was comfortable with Ben and how he explained everything we could expect the first visit. I think he was fair to both of us and I would be interested in his insight.”
“Hunter taught us many useful techniques to help us communicate better, recognize and resolve conflicts. We also really like the part where he asked us to re-do our conversations. Those practices help us catch ourselves even before conflicts arise.”
“Our time with Josephine has been great so far. It gives us time set aside to talk and be listened to! We are learning great ways to embrace our differences and how to better communicate.”
“She was a very good listener, and did a good job at making my partner and I both feeling heard.”
“The most helpful parts were Seth’s ability to very carefully facilitate the very hard conversations that my wife and I could not do on our own”
“Brittany was a great help, very thoughtful, and offered great insight and advice throughout our time together. I always felt heard/comfortable and she was encouraging of us stepping outside of our comfort zone. I can’t thank Brittany enough for how kind and supportive she is!”
“Georgi has been great. We’ve only had a few foundational sessions so far, but the time my partner and I spend both in and out of the office has been tremendously helpful.”
“Georgi has been creative in her approach and committed to helping us grow”
“Elizabeth is very understanding of our situation and is giving us the insight and tools we need to have a successful solution to our problems.”
“Kanya is a delight to work with. She is helping me a lot to focus on important parts of myself to grow a healthy relationship.”
“I like Jennifer’s explanation of her approach and her career experience aligns with what we are looking for.”
“Stephanie has helped us greatly with our communication and connection. We have had a very positive experience, and I am grateful for the wonderful help we’ve received.”
“Dori is understanding and calm, and helps us understand our feelings, communicate them, celebrate all positive steps, stay positive, and feel hopeful and loving toward each other.”
“Jessica has a way about her. She is very skilled at listening to us and picking out where we can improve our communication/connection with each other.”
“We’re both doing really great and we attribute it to our time with you [Roseann]. It truly has been a growing experience for us both, and while we’re still practicing the things you taught us- we both feel heard by the other. We thank you so much for your guidance during such a rough time. I can’t speak for xx, but I feel like I have my best friend back.”
“Hunter is kind and unbiased in his work. He makes us feel comfortable and has a strong background to intelligently move us in the right direction.”
“Rachel does an amazing job facilitating constructive conversations, identifying root causes, and formulating a plan for tackling issues. My wife and I have tremendously benefited from our sessions with Rachel. Our relationship is stronger and there is more understanding between us.”
“Linda makes us feel safe. She makes it so that we know that we are going to get through this together and come out stronger.”
“Dori helped us so much. Over multiple discussions, she helped us gain insights into what the other person was truly thinking and feeling, and what we were afraid to admit, too. She also gave us a collection of tools to try when things get tough. The combination of all these things has helped us work through and past much of the tension we couldn’t get over before.”
“Even though we just started, Georgiana is already helping us come together stronger as a couple. I appreciate her candor, frankness and suggestions.”
“Lisa makes me feel very relaxed and comfortable. She gave good insight and overall it was a really positive experience. We are looking forward to continuing our work with her.”
“Kaily was fantastic to work with. My wife and I both appreciated how easy she was to talk to and found her advice and techniques to be very helpful. She did a great job at relating with us that made it easier to open up with our problems.”
“We worked through the arguments using the skills you have taught us and we are generally doing okay. A lot of the credit for that is thanks to your help. Thank you for all that you have done for us. We are very happy together and it is mostly thanks to the support you have given us.”
“Kensington was intentional and warm, which is something we appreciate when it comes to letting someone in our personal life. Kensington asked us questions and provided feedback which was great as well.”
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