Discernment Counseling For Couples
How to Save a Marriage
Our Discernment Counselors Help You Find Your Way Forward.
Clarity + Hope
Discernment counseling is different. While the goal of couples counseling, marriage counseling, and relationship coaching is to improve your relationship, the goal of discernment counseling or discernment coaching is not relationship repair. It is to help you both reach certainty about the future you want — together, or apart.
Through discernment counseling, you discover each other’s commitment and motivation for repairing your relationship. This can restore confidence and hope for the future of your relationship.
Then marriage counseling can be productive.
Confidence + Direction
Couples enter discernment counseling when one (or both) is wondering if it’s time to call it quits in a relationship. A discernment counselor will assess your relationship, and provide a clear picture of what repairing your relationship will require.
After exploring the possibilities, many couples emerge from discernment counseling feeling confident that their marriage is worth saving and ready to invest in the work ahead.
The honest understanding achieved through discernment counseling becomes your road map to healing and growth.
Expert Discernment Counseling & Coaching at Growing Self
Some couples only darken the door of a marriage counselor once one partner has revealed an affair or another issue, or asked for a divorce. Other couples wait too long to get help and enter counseling with “mixed agendas.” Although both partners say they want to try, one or both may have lost the faith, hope, and trust necessary to fix their relationship. This unspoken ambivalence can sabotage couples therapy.
Only experienced marriage and family therapists, with rare and specialized training in discernment counseling, can help couples at these crossroads. The skillful, professional discernment counselors at Growing Self help both partners clarify their understanding, motivation, and commitment. Then the path forward will be revealed.
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Supportive Discernment Counseling for Both Partners
for Partners “Leaning In”
If your partner has just asked for a separation or divorce, it’s normal to feel sad, hurt, and scared. You want to do everything possible to stop a divorce and save your relationship: You’re leaning in.
Discernment counseling helps “leaning in” partners manage big emotions, and understand what your “leaning out” partner is needing in order to feel more hopeful about your relationship.
for Partners “Leaning Out”
If you’re “leaning out” of your relationship, you may have felt sad, disappointed, and hurt for some time. Even if you still love your partner, you may have lost hope that the marriage can be saved, or that growth and change are possible.
Discernment counseling helps you get clear about your options and feel confident in your relationship again — or in your decision to part peacefully.
Meet a Few of Our Relationship Discernment Counselors
Dr. Georgiana S.
Honest, Direct & Focused
Meet Dr. Georgiana: an expert multilingual Marriage and Family Therapist, Emotional Intelligence Coach, Dating Coach and Life Coach who will empathically tell you what you need to hear rather than what you want to hear. Whether your preferred language is English, Spanish, or French, her results-oriented approach to coaching will move you forward.
Dr. Harold P.
D.Min., M.A., CCC, CPC
Experienced, Caring & Growth-Focused
Meet Dr. Harold: an experienced couples counselor, therapist and coach, whose gentle, caring presence creates self-awareness, clarity, and confidence. Whether you are looking for life direction, personal well-being, or better relationships, Dr. Harold has the expertise to help you get results.
Bring Out The Best In You
Meet Natalie: a thoughtful, positive, and encouraging marriage counselor, premarital counselor, parenting coach, life coach and therapist with a lighthearted style and down-to-earth approach. Natalie creates an empathetic environment that invites authenticity, bringing out the best in you, your relationship, and your family.
Dedicated to Your Empowerment
Meet Emily, a couples counselor, relationship coach, individual therapist and life coach with a positive, empowering approach to helping you create the change you desire. Emily believes that we each have the seeds of wisdom inside of us — and that with the right support, you can cultivate greater well-being, love, and success.
M.A., LPC, MFTC
Insightful, Welcoming & Productive
Meet Jenna: a supportive marriage counselor, couples therapist, individual therapist, and life coach with a friendly, light style and a great sense of humor. She uses effective, evidence-based techniques to help you build understanding for yourself and your partner, increase intimacy and connection, and achieve your most important goals.
Dr. Brock S.
Illuminate Your Possibilities
Meet Brock: Brock is an experienced Marriage and Family therapist who’s passionate about helping you get unstuck, create real change, and feel better about yourself and about your life. He can help you improve your communication with your partner, deepen your connections, gain clarity about what you truly need to be happy and well, and create an effective plan for reaching your goals.
See What Our Clients are Saying
“I was comfortable with Ben and how he explained everything we could expect the first visit. I think he was fair to both of us and I would be interested in his insight.”
“Dr. Georgiana has been an enormous help to us as we’ve confronted challenging issues. She is helping us talk through things effectively.”
“Kaily was fantastic to work with. My wife and I both appreciated how easy she was to talk to and found her advice and techniques to be very helpful. She did a great job at relating with us that made it easier to open up with our problems.”
“We absolutely loved working with Jenna. We both were emotional when closing out, never thought we could get closer and stronger in our relationship, yet we have grown leaps and bounds.”
“Brittany has helped us find ways to deal with our differences, and avoid the downward spiraling of dumb bickering. We have learned ways to better communicate, relax our minds and bodies when things seem to be going badly, and stay more connected with each other.”
“Dr. Amy is very professional and helpful.”
Dr. Amy S.
“We’re doing great! Indeed we had some fights, but always with a happy ending and no hard feelings afterwards. Thanks a lot for your help, it was crucial for our development as a couple.”
“Lisa is very kind and she can hear our concerns and guide and direct us appropriately.”
“She’s [Georgi] empathetic, caring and we both feel supported by her.”
“He listens well. Hunter helped to teach us how to listen to each other, and how to be vulnerable, honest, and to open up about everything.”
“Lisa seemed to understand our unique situation and highly capable of helping us.”
“Hunter taught us many useful techniques to help us communicate better, recognize and resolve conflicts. We also really like the part where he asked us to re-do our conversations. Those practices help us catch ourselves even before conflicts arise.”
“Jessica has a way about her. She is very skilled at listening to us and picking out where we can improve our communication/connection with each other.”
“Kanya is a delight to work with. She is helping me a lot to focus on important parts of myself to grow a healthy relationship.”
“Josephine showed us tools for recognizing conflicts / poor communication and pursuing resolution and achieving thoughtful dialogue. She also reinforced what was good about our relationship :)”
“She’s very nice. She’s smart and she leads the sessions well. We really like Tomauro.”
“The quiz we took separately and then reviewing our answers to learn about our similarities and differences was really helpful. Also the “I feel/I need” communication technique was great advice!”
“Rachel does an amazing job facilitating constructive conversations, identifying root causes, and formulating a plan for tackling issues. My wife and I have tremendously benefited from our sessions with Rachel. Our relationship is stronger and there is more understanding between us.”
“Teresa’s welcoming smile, warm and personal approach, and consistent ability to positively shift our perspectives really helped us grow as individuals, and as a couple.”
“Hunter is kind and unbiased in his work. He makes us feel comfortable and has a strong background to intelligently move us in the right direction.”
“I feel Ben is a good fit for us. We both felt comfortable talking with him.”
“We are getting the tools that we need to better communicate and be more considerate of one another’s moods and needs. Natalie has offered straightforward information and concrete steps. Also, the zoom meetings are far more effective than I anticipated. The technology is easy to use and it creates the right environment for this sort of thing.”
“Not only was Renelle a great personality fit for us, her intelligence and experience in the areas we need really came through along with her approach as a teacher as much as a therapist – all the things we are looking for.”
“She was a very good listener, and did a good job at making my partner and I both feeling heard.”
“Brittany was a great help, very thoughtful, and offered great insight and advice throughout our time together. I always felt heard/comfortable and she was encouraging of us stepping outside of our comfort zone. I can’t thank Brittany enough for how kind and supportive she is!”
“Brittany was very insightful. She was very easy for us to talk to. We enjoyed our experience with Brittany.”
“The most helpful part was Hunter’s understanding nature and ability to condense down what we said. He was very affirming in nature and was also able to offer perspective. I really appreciate that we was the one who led the discussion about having achieved our goals. As for different, I don’t think there is anything at this time.”
“The best thing that Hunter did was hold us accountable and make sure that we were always clear and understood. If at any time we didn’t feel like we were achieving anything he was there to help guide us to more vulnerable communication.”
“We’re both doing really great and we attribute it to our time with you [Roseann]. It truly has been a growing experience for us both, and while we’re still practicing the things you taught us- we both feel heard by the other. We thank you so much for your guidance during such a rough time. I can’t speak for xx, but I feel like I have my best friend back.”
“I just wanted to thank you [Roseann] for the great session today. Your read on things has been remarkably accurate and we’re really happy we found you. I know we’re just beginning, but I’m incredibly encouraged by the real progress we’re already making and we’re very much looking forward to seeing you next week.”
“Her ability to facilitate open and honest conversation has been extremely impactful.”
“I like the way that she talks with us and she makes me feel really comfortable after previous therapy experiences going poorly. And I think that she gives us good homework and tools that we can use.”
“Dr. Rachel is knowledgeable and professional. She is helping us make real progress on our relationship challenges and we are stronger as a team because of her guidance”.
“Kathleen is supportive, adaptive, and professional. After a few sessions, I feel that she has taken the time to understand us and tailor our sessions to fit our style!”
“She [Dr. Georgiana] is taking us through historical issues that need to be addressed before we can move forward. She tells it straight, “If things continue like this you can expect xyz…” She encourages and makes a case for decisions to be made, to take a stand and follow through.”
“Dori is understanding and calm, and helps us understand our feelings, communicate them, celebrate all positive steps, stay positive, and feel hopeful and loving toward each other.”
“Elizabeth is very understanding of our situation and is giving us the insight and tools we need to have a successful solution to our problems.”
“Linda makes us feel safe. She makes it so that we know that we are going to get through this together and come out stronger.”
“My partner and I have been seeing Dr. Harold for 4-5 couples sessions so far, and he has been incredibly personable and warm. He’s provided us both with a safe place where we feel encouraged to be vulnerable with one another. We absolutely love working with him and plan to keep doing so!”
“We worked through the arguments using the skills you have taught us and we are generally doing okay. A lot of the credit for that is thanks to your help. Thank you for all that you have done for us. We are very happy together and it is mostly thanks to the support you have given us.”
“Georgi was wonderful and I really appreciated her process minded approach. She was very good at deconstructing complex situations or emotions in a methodical way that made obstacles seem easier to overcome. She also made sure that myself and my partner felt validated throughout the process. I like that Georgi let us come forward with anything that happened in the week but she also always had a plan to direct the conversation in case we did not have anything to talk about.”
“Dori helped us so much. Over multiple discussions, she helped us gain insights into what the other person was truly thinking and feeling, and what we were afraid to admit, too. She also gave us a collection of tools to try when things get tough. The combination of all these things has helped us work through and past much of the tension we couldn’t get over before.”
“Elizabeth always is prepared. She is thoughtful and asks thought-provoking questions. We are enjoying our sessions with her.”
“Our time with Josephine has been great so far. It gives us time set aside to talk and be listened to! We are learning great ways to embrace our differences and how to better communicate.”
“Stephanie has helped us greatly with our communication and connection. We have had a very positive experience, and I am grateful for the wonderful help we’ve received.”
“Even though we just started, Georgiana is already helping us come together stronger as a couple. I appreciate her candor, frankness and suggestions.”
“Lisa makes me feel very relaxed and comfortable. She gave good insight and overall it was a really positive experience. We are looking forward to continuing our work with her.”
“Linda is an empathetic listener, an analytical counselor. She helps you live better.”
“Georgi has been creative in her approach and committed to helping us grow”
“I like Jennifer’s explanation of her approach and her career experience aligns with what we are looking for.”
“The most helpful parts were Seth’s ability to very carefully facilitate the very hard conversations that my wife and I could not do on our own”
“Kensington was intentional and warm, which is something we appreciate when it comes to letting someone in our personal life. Kensington asked us questions and provided feedback which was great as well.”
“She has provided us with reassurance and helpful techniques to use.”
“Bre is very bubbly but also patient and good at taking care of any concerns or questions throughout the process.”
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Marriage Counseling Questions | Couples Therapy Questions
If you’re considering getting involved in marriage counseling, couples therapy, or relationship coaching you probably have questions! Get your marriage counseling questions answered, right here.
Our relationship experts have tons of free, helpful relationship advice on numerous topics to support you both on your journey of growth together. View our relationship advice.
How Healthy Is Your Relationship?
Take our free relationship quiz to discover your strengths and growth opportunities, and get expert recommendations.
When To Get Marriage Counseling?
Was that just a yucky fight? Or is your relationship really in trouble? Here’s how to tell when to get marriage counseling.
What To Expect From Marriage Counseling
Learn what to expect from marriage counseling, from your first free consultation to the triumphant “graduation” from couples therapy.
Relationship Coaching vs. Couples Therapy
What’s the difference between relationship coaching vs couples therapy? Learn about both approaches, and which is right for you.
How to Find a Marriage Counselor
Not all marriage counselors are the same. Getting involved with a bad one can be a disaster. Here’s how to find a good marriage counselor…
Pre Marriage Counseling
Couples counseling before marriage is not the same thing as premarital counseling. Many couples need to grow together before they can move forward. Learn more…
How Long Does Marriage Counseling Take?
You shouldn’t be in marriage counseling for years. Learn the average length of marriage counseling, depending on your situation, and your relationship goals.
How Marriage Counseling Works
Marriage counseling works, but how? Learn how marriage counseling works, and how the process can help you grow, together.
Does Couples Therapy Work?
Couples who successfully work through rough patches come out stronger than ever before. If you’re wondering, “Does couples therapy work?” read this article for the inside scoop.
Can We Do Marriage Counseling Online?
Online marriage counseling can be incredibly convenient and effective — but not always. Learn when online marriage counseling is the best bet, and when it’s a bad idea…
Can You Do Long-Distance Couples Therapy?
Yes, we provide long-distance couples counseling from all over the world through secure, easy, three-way online video.
Does Insurance Cover Marriage Counseling?
Insurance can pay for marriage counseling (aka, family therapy), but only sometimes. Learn when insurance covers marriage counseling, and when it won’t.
How Much is Marriage Counseling?
Getting expert help for your marriage can be the best, most life-changing decision you ever make. How much do couples therapy and marriage counseling cost? Get all the details, here.
Gift Relationship Help
If you have a loved one who is struggling in their relationship, you can help them get help by “gifting” couples counseling or coaching. Here’s how…
Discernment Counseling For Couples
Before marriage counseling can work, both partners need to want it to work. Discernment counseling helps you resolve ambivalence, and get clarity.
Why Evidence-Based Therapy Matters
Marriage counseling can be a huge waste of time if your counselor doesn’t practice evidence-based approaches to marriage counseling. Here’s why…
Online Couples Therapy
We offer Denver couples therapy and Denver marriage counseling as well as online couples therapy. Learn about our online couples therapy services.
Our Relationship Services
We offer premarital counseling, sex therapy, perinatal counseling, parent coaching, affair recovery, blended family counseling, financial therapy for couples, and more. Learn about all our couples counseling services.
Meet Our Relationship Experts
Growing Self relationship experts are marriage and family therapists with specialized training and experience in effective, evidence-based approaches to help couples grow, together. Meet our team of relationship experts…
The Best Marriage Counseling
Curious to hear what others have to say about their experience with “the best marriage counselor?” Read their stories…
Free Resources, For You.
Our experts are incredibly generous and have put together an entire library of free resources and actionable advice to support you on your quest for Love, Happiness, and Success. View our blog + podcast.
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