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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
Let me ask you something that might sound a little intense: Are you living a life you would be proud to look back on? If your answer is somewhere between “I think so” and “Um… not exactly,” don’t worry — even as a therapist, I’ve felt this too. Many of us get so swept up in our routines that we forget to check in with whether we’re actually living for meaning, or if we’re just surviving.
That’s exactly why in a recent episode of the Love, Happiness & Success podcast, I sat down with the amazing Karen Salmansohn to talk about the ancient and radical idea of memento mori — Latin for “remember, you will die.”
Now, I know what you’re thinking. Yikes, Lisa, that’s kind of a downer. But hear me out. Memento mori isn’t about gloom and doom. It’s about clarity. It’s about living for meaning, and more importantly, living intentionally with the time we do have.
When you embrace the idea that your time is finite, it becomes a catalyst for being intentional about how you live, love, grow, and give.
This isn’t about fear. It’s about focus. Memento mori helps us pause and reflect on what actually matters. It gently reminds us to shift from doing things out of habit or obligation to doing things with heart and purpose. It’s the difference between checking boxes and creating a legacy.
What is Memento Mori?
Karen’s perspective on this is refreshingly bold and deeply moving. When her father passed away, it became a wake-up call that launched her into a new level of awareness. She didn’t have a near-death experience; she had what she calls a “near-life experience” — a moment where you realize you’ve been living on autopilot. (More on mindfulness here.)
Raise your hand if you’ve ever been there. (Raises both hands and a coffee mug.)
Memento mori brings us face-to-face with one very motivating truth: we don’t have all the time in the world. And that’s not morbid — it’s actually liberating. When you truly get that, you start to live differently.
You stop putting off the things that matter. You stop people-pleasing. You start living for meaning and being intentional about what kind of legacy you want to leave behind.
Why Being Intentional is Non-Negotiable
Here’s the truth: life isn’t a dress rehearsal. Yet so many of us postpone the big stuff — joy, passion projects, forgiveness, connection — because we assume there will always be more time. But when you start living for meaning, you begin to see time not as something to be managed, but as something to be honored. Every day becomes a canvas. Every choice, a brushstroke.
Being intentional means making your values visible through your daily actions. It means saying yes to what feeds your soul and no to what drains it, even if it’s uncomfortable. Especially then.
How to Start Living for Meaning
Authentic living doesn’t require a life overhaul. It just asks for a shift in awareness. Start with your mornings. Instead of reaching for your phone, ask yourself: What matters most today? Who do I want to be? This small act sets the tone for your entire day.
Build little rituals that remind you of your values. That could be journaling about gratitude, spending quality time with loved ones, or even just noticing a moment of beauty. The goal isn’t perfection — it’s presence and savoring.
And when life throws you curveballs (because it will), being intentional doesn’t mean forcing positivity. It means honoring your experience, staying curious, and asking, What can I learn from this? How can I grow?
Living for Meaning: Core Values
Your core values are the compass that guides a meaningful life. When you’re unclear about your direction, returning to your values can reorient you. Start by identifying the top 3-5 values that make you feel the most like YOU. Then ask, Am I making decisions that align with these?
This is where memento mori becomes an incredible motivator. If you knew you had limited time left (spoiler: we all do), what values would you want to be known for? Integrity? Compassion? Adventure? Wisdom? Those are your guideposts.
Being Intentional in the Face of Distraction
Let’s be honest. We live in a world that constantly pulls our attention in a million directions. Social media. Work deadlines. The Netflix show that everyone says you have to watch. And before you know it, another week (or year) has flown by.
Being intentional means waking up from autopilot. It means checking in with yourself regularly to ask: Is this what I want? If not, what do I want to do with my life? What am I looking for? Am I spending my energy on what matters most? If not, gently course-correct.
Sometimes this means setting boundaries. Sometimes it means taking a brave leap. And sometimes, it simply means doing less so you can be more present with what’s in front of you. That’s the essence of living a meaningful life.
Living for Meaning: A Daily Practice
There are so many creative ways to keep memento mori top of mind. You can journal, reflect at the end of the day, or even try something symbolic like a “mortality marble” jar (yep, that’s a thing). The point is to stay connected to the reality that life is short — not to scare yourself, but to keep yourself honest.
Karen did a wild but brilliant thing: she wrote her own eulogy. Not the one others might write for her, but one from her future self to her present self. Who she wanted to become. What she wanted to be remembered for.
And I have to say, this exercise is LIFE-CHANGING. When you clarify what matters most to you, you can start building a life around that vision — not just grinding through your inbox.
Karen also created what she calls a To-Die List. It’s like a to-do list, but way more soulful. Instead of “buy almond milk,” it’s things like: “Call Mom because I want to be a loving daughter,” or “Write chapter three because I am a writer.”
It’s all based on what she calls identity-based habits — small actions that align with your core values and who you want to be. This is a practice in being intentional, and I am HERE FOR IT.
The goal isn’t to be perfect. The goal is to be intentional. To make the most of each day. To stop waiting and start living. To choose courage, connection, creativity, and contribution — even when it’s hard.
How to Find Purpose in Life
So here’s my gentle but loving nudge: don’t wait for a crisis to wake you up. Live for meaning. Be intentional. Remember that life is short, and that’s what makes it beautiful. Live today like the precious, irreplaceable gift it is.
And if you’re feeling stuck or overwhelmed by where to begin, I’d love to help. My Clarity and Confidence Coaching was made for moments just like this one. In this powerful work, you’ll reconnect with your deepest values, rediscover your purpose, and learn how to make intentional choices that move you toward the life you truly want.
Whether you’re navigating a big life transition or simply ready to stop running on autopilot, coaching gives you tools, insight, and support to create lasting, meaningful change.
Also, come hang out with me on Instagram or YouTube — I’m always sharing tips, inspiration, and behind-the-scenes real talk to help you stay connected to what really matters.
Xoxo
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
P.S. If this message resonated with you, think of someone in your life who might need to hear it too. Forward this article to them. Let’s keep the ripple going. That’s living for meaning, too.
Resources:
Yuan, Z., Baranik, L. E., Sinclair, R. R., Sliter, M. T., Rand, K. L., & Salyers, M. P. (2019). Memento Mori: T he development and validation of the Death Reflection Scale. Journal of Organizational Behavior, 40(4), 417-433. https://onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/abs/10.1002/job.2339
Heintzelman, S. J., & King, L. A. (2014). Life is pretty meaningful. American psychologist, 69(6), 561. https://psycnet.apa.org/fulltext/2014-03265-001.html
Oyserman, Daphna. “Identity-based motivation.” Emerging trends in the social and behavioral sciences 38 (2015): 1-11. https://emergingtrends.stanford.edu/files/original/c7f48fa24e351a8742455195a9237a8d27b6dfc8.pdf
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