Why Friendships End

Friends Break Up, Too…

WHY FRIENDSHIPS END • Many people get involved with therapy or online life coaching here at Growing Self in order to improve all their relationships — not just their romantic partnerships or marriages. Let’s face it: friendships can present their own unique challenges.

Many people find themselves struggling in their friendships. Perhaps they’re dealing with the end of a valued friendship, aka a “friend breakup.” Maybe they’ve gotten entangled with a friend who is becoming increasingly toxic. Some are struggling with how to set boundaries with a friend. Still others are wanting to have more and healthier friendships in their lives. Friendships are both complex and a key to a joyful life. They’re just as important to most people as their romantic relationships, yet there’s very little good advice for how to deal with issues with your friends. 

All relationships have ups and downs. All long term relationships — romantic or friendships — require energy and work to thrive and evolve as we change and grow. However, because many people genuinely do not know how to resolve issues with a friend, they simply withdraw from the friendship. While breaking up with a friend can seem like the only way to resolve a conflict, often, it’s not.

People who have been “ghosted” or broken up with by a friend — oftentimes by someone they considered a very good friend — feel heartbroken over it. They don’t know why their friendship ended. They have sleepless nights, and feel the loss intensely. There can be a gaping hole in your life where your good friend used to be that feels hard to fill. If you’ve lost a friend, the process of healing and recovery can be very much like that of healing after a bad breakup. The same fear of being good enough that people struggle with during a romantic breakup can also be present after a friendship breakup. This is often a situation that we address in our therapy and life coaching work.

Why Friendships End

Friendships end for many reasons. Friends break up. Just like the wonderful growth work that can arise after dealing with any other bad breakup, understanding why your particular friendship ended can also be a powerful growth opportunity. This opportunity gives you the space to understand yourself better, learn more about how people work, and have the chance to develop healthier friendships going forward.

On the other side of this, there are situations where people feel compelled to end their friendships for a variety of reasons. Sometimes they feel that they need to end a toxic relationship with a friend. Other times people feel that it’s just too hard to address the issues and work on things with their friend the same way they would with a romantic partner. Other times, it just feels like they and their friend have grown apart. They want to have more distance between them and their former close friend, but don’t know how to achieve it compassionately. 

Navigating The Ups and Downs of Friendships

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we’re talking all about friendships. Specifically, we’ll be discussing:

• Why friendships end
• How the dynamics of friendships are similar to and different from romantic relationships
• How to mend a friendship that has been feeling strained
• What to do about toxic friendships
• How to cope if you’ve been ghosted by a friend
• The path of healing after an unexpected friendship loss
• How to end a friendship compassionately
• How to change a friendship if you need different boundaries with a friend

All that and more, on this episode.

xoxo, 

Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby, PhD, LP, LMFT, BCC