How to Get Over a Breakup
Breakup Advice for How to Get Over a Breakup
Today I’m sharing advice on how to get over a breakup. If you’re going through a breakup, I don’t have to tell you that they’re hard. You can’t just turn your attachments off like a light switch. It takes time, intention, and hard work to move on from a serious relationship. When I decided to become a marriage counselor, I had no idea how much I would learn about how to help people heal from a breakup or divorce. After all, this career is about helping couples fix their problems and reignite their love for each other, right?
The truth is, breakups happen — marriage counseling or not. Sometimes one partner just decides they want out, no matter what, and sometimes a situation gets so toxic that a breakup really is the best option.
In these cases, the best thing your counselor can do is be a source of support, comfort, and guidance as you take the first steps into your new life after your relationship.
That’s how I accidentally became a breakup recovery expert and how I became a passionate advocate for people on the path of recovery from failed relationships. So much so that I wrote a book on the subject, “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to An Ex Love.”
Since then, I’ve been getting lots of questions from readers and listeners. So today, I decided to devote a podcast to answering them. On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we’re talking all about breakups — particularly how to deal with the hardest parts and serious dilemmas like:
- How do you know when a relationship is really over, or whether it’s worth trying again?
- How to handle friends and family who may be getting frustrated with you in an on-again, off-again situation?
- How to set boundaries with well-meaning people who have very definite ideas about how you should handle things, when you feel differently?
- How to deal with the enormous emotional pain of a breakup?
- How to cope with regret over the mistakes you made that may have led to the end of your relationship?
So if you’ve been stuck on your Ex for too long and wondering how to detach from someone you love, listen to this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast to get some new ideas and guidance on how to let go and move on — for good.
All the best,
Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast
How to Get Over a Breakup
Free, Expert Advice — For You.
Subscribe To The Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast
Falling in Love and Breaking Up
- Falling in love is like developing an addiction.
- Hence, breaking up feels like withdrawal.
- Knowing these things can help you on your path to recovery, especially if you feel that your breakup is not “normal.”
How to Prevent Relapse
- Abstinence is the key to addiction recovery, including being addicted to love.
- However, this can be hard for exaholics. They justify their actions, saying that there is nothing wrong with being in love.
- You first have to recognize that the relationship is really over for you to move on.
- When you understand that you are going through withdrawal from an addiction, you can begin to deal with your situation differently.
Relapse Versus Actually Trying
- When thinking about getting back together with an ex, think about how your situation has changed.
- Have they changed for the better? Have you also changed the way you view your partner?
- Also, know that relapse can be a necessary part of the healing process.
Dealing with Friends and Family
- It can be painful for your loved ones to see you hurt yourself over and over because of a relationship.
- There are people who will understand and who won’t. If you are still unable to let go of your ex, set boundaries with the latter.
- You can also seek therapy or coaching to get support without any judgment.
Coping with Pain and Regret
- Pain is a normal and inevitable part of recovery. Allow yourself to feel it; avoiding will only prolong the healing process.
- Regret is one of the most painful parts of making mistakes. It is also one of life’s best teachers.
- As hard as it can be, learn to embrace the pain and let it fuel your growth.
- If the pain becomes too overwhelming, connect with a therapist who can help you recover.
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.
Let’s Talk: Start With a Free Consultation
If you’re ready to grow, we’re here to help. Connect with us, and let us know your hopes and goals. We’ll follow up with recommendations, and will help you schedule a first, free consultation.
Divorce and Breakup Recovery Resources
Divorce & Breakup Advice
Get more free breakup and divorce recovery advice in our extensive library of articles and podcasts on the subject. Visit the Healing After Heartbreak Collection on our blog to access them all.
If you or your partner are considering separation, discernment counseling can help you both gain clarity around whether or not there is hope for your relationship. Learn about discernment counseling.
When to Call It Quits
Is there still hope for your relationship, or is it best to part ways? Learn the signs that growth and healing are possible, vs. signs it’s time to call it quits in a relationship.
Amicable divorce prioritizes the mental and emotional wellness of everyone involved and creates the foundation for a healthy co-parenting partnership. Learn how to achieve an amicable divorce.
Breakup Therapy & Divorce Counseling
Time alone does not heal. Effective, informed, evidence-based breakup therapy and divorce counseling help you heal, grow, and move forward into emotional freedom.
The Stages of a Breakup
Withdrawal, grieving, growing, rebuilding: Understanding the stages of recovery are vital to your healing process after a divorce. Learn about the stages of breakup recovery…
How to Leave a Toxic Relationship, With Dignity
Learn why it’s so hard to leave a toxic relationship, and the things you can do to empower and support yourself in your journey to emotional empowerment.
Why You Can’t Stop Thinking About Your Ex
Can you ever stop loving someone? Want to know how to get over an ex? Learn how to stop thinking about someone so you can move on.
Are You Addicted to a Toxic Relationship?
Profoundly unhealthy relationships can be the hardest to get over. Find out if you’re addicted to a toxic relationship.
Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to an Ex Love
Why is it so hard to let go, even when you know you should? In her award-winning “Exaholics” book, Dr. Lisa explains why, and illuminates the path forward towards emotional liberation, growth, and recovery.
Online Breakup and Divorce Support Group
You’re not alone. Heal your heart in our positive, affirming online breakup and divorce support group, led by an experienced divorce and breakup recovery counselor.
Heal Your Broken Heart: Breakup Recovery Program
In this self-paced online breakup recovery program Dr. Lisa helps you work through the stages of healing from heartbreak, through empowering personal growth activities.
How Much Does Therapy Cost?
Good therapy is a priceless investment in your growth and healing, but not all therapy is valuable. Learn about the cost of therapy that moves you forward.
Stop a Divorce
The threat of divorce can actually be a turning point for a marriage if you understand how to use it as an opportunity to foster healing. In this podcast, learn how to stop a divorce.
Start Breakup Therapy or Divorce Counseling
If you’d like to work with a Growing Self divorce / breakup recovery expert, the first step is to have a free consultation meeting.
More Questions? Let’s Talk.
If you have questions about our services or would like support in connecting with one of our experts, we’re here for you by phone, email or chat. Get in touch, anytime.
Ty so much for a different perspective.
Ty so much for a different perspective.