How to Fix a Broken Relationship

The Good News: You Can Break Free

If you’re in this place, let me reassure you: You can fix this. With the right approach, you can stop these destructive cycles, reconnect, and rediscover the good in each other. But here’s the kicker—you probably won’t be able to do it alone. 

When you’re in a negative relationship spiral, having someone outside of it, like a therapist, can help you both take a step back and reframe what’s really going on. It’s like having a life raft tossed to you while you’re struggling in a riptide. You could swim, but it’s going to be way easier with some help.

Actionable Steps to Repair Your Relationship

So, how do you start breaking the cycle and getting back to love and joy? Here are some things to keep in mind:

1. Acknowledge the Cycle: The first step is realizing that this cycle isn’t your fault. It’s something that has developed over time due to repeated patterns and emotional responses. Being aware of this can help you start seeing each other differently.

2. Create Safe Space for Communication: Sometimes it’s less about what’s being said and more about how it’s said. Start conversations with “I” statements, like, “I feel…” instead of “You always…” This helps to soften defenses and makes it easier to actually listen to each other. 

Effectively expressing your feelings and being vulnerable is essential in improving your connection with your partner, but it can take some practice. Creating a safe space to communicate is a foundational element to repairing a broken relationship. 

3. Seek Outside Help When Needed: A relationship coach or therapist can be a game-changer. They help you interrupt the negative cycles and teach you both healthier ways to connect. At Growing Self, we offer coaching and counseling for couples just like you. You can book a free consultation with a relationship therapist here.

4. Challenge Your Assumptions: One of the hardest parts about breaking a negative cycle is that we tend to assume our partner’s intentions are negative. Instead of jumping to conclusions, ask open-ended questions to really understand what they’re feeling. This simple habit can bring a lot of healing.

5. Take the “How Healthy Is Your Relationship?” Quiz: If you’re curious about where you really stand, I’ve created a free, in-depth quiz designed to help you gain insight into your relationship’s strengths and growth areas. This can be a great first step toward understanding what’s really going on beneath the surface. Take my How Healthy is Your Relationship Quiz.

Where Do We Go From Here?

It’s natural to feel a bit overwhelmed, but don’t let that stop you from taking action. The longer a negative cycle goes unchecked, the more damage it does. The healthiest, happiest couples are the ones who recognize when things are starting to get rocky and take action sooner rather than later.

Ready for More?

I hope you feel inspired and empowered to take the first step toward healing your relationship! Whether it’s taking my How Healthy is Your Relationship quiz, booking a free consultation for couples counseling, or just exploring more resources on GrowingSelf.com, you’re on the right track.

If you want to keep this conversation going, follow me on Instagram or YouTube so you’ll be the first to know when I’m going live to dive even deeper into these topics.

Xoxo,

Dr Lisa Marie Bobby

PS: If you’ve been thinking about a friend who could really use some support in their relationship right now, don’t keep all this goodness to yourself—send them this article! They might just thank you for it. 😊

Resources:

Bakshi, A., & Ansari, S. A. (2022). The Key Role of Vulnerability in Developing Authentic Connections in Romantic Relationships. Kıbrıs Türk Psikiyatri ve Psikoloji Dergisi, 4(1), 103-109.

Newman, H. M. (1981). Interpretation and explanation: Influences on communicative exchanges within intimate relationships. Communication Quarterly, 29(2), 123-131.

Gottman, J. M., Cole, C., & Cole, D. L. (2019). Negative Sentiment Override in Couples and Families. In Encyclopedia of Couple and Family Therapy (pp. 2019-2022). Cham: Springer International Publishing.