Are “money issues” a problem in your relationship?
If so, you’re not alone. Fights about money — how to spend it, how to save it, and how to make it — are common battlegrounds in a marriage. Why so much drama? Money is emotionally laden for most people. Money is ultimately a symbol that can mean security, freedom, pleasure, power, love, and more. When it means different things to two people in a relationship — look out. The sparks fly when couples have different values around money.
“He’s a cheapskate.” (Translation: I don’t feel loved.)
“She spends every dime.” (Translation: Doesn’t she care about our security? Or how hard I work?)
“All he/she does is work.” (Translation: I don’t feel important.)
“I can’t believe you spent so much on _____.” (Translation: I don’t understand you.)
“Where did it all go??” (Translation: This is scary. I feel alone in this.)
When left unchecked, “money issues” can bloom into very ugly emotional dynamics: Power struggles. Hiding spending, or debt. Negative beliefs about each other’s character. Increasing hostility and emotional distance. Money problems must be resolved.
Get on The Same Page About Finances
The good news is that creating agreement and teamwork around finances is a solvable problem. All couples have to work through differences around money as part of growing together. This doesn’t have to be stressful or conflictual. It’s just a matter of learning new skills — together.
In fact, the most successful couples have developed a set of skills about how to manage money together. (Just like they have learned about other critical relationship skills). Learning how to talk about money, make a plan for money, and support each other’s financial hopes and dreams is one of the cornerstones of a happy healthy marriage.
Financial Counseling For Couples
On today’s episode of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast I’m so pleased to be speaking with expert couples financial counselor Jeff Motske on this subject. Jeff is the author of Couples Guide to Financial Compatibility, and the host of the “Declare Your Financial Freedom” radio show. Listen to our interview to learn how to:
- How to use Jeff’s free online quiz: War of the Wallets to learn more about each other’s “money personality”
- Have productive conversations about money
- How to create a workable budget
- How to develop a “solid financial house” together
- And how to set yourself financially free, as a couple.
Financial Counseling For Couples: Listen Now