720.370.1800 - Intl 844.331.1993
The Path of Personal Growth: Self Discovery, and Self Acceptance

The Path of Personal Growth: Self Discovery, and Self Acceptance

Who are you, really?

Are you the person you feel like you are?

Are you the person that others see?

Is the real you partially unknown, even to yourself?

Heady questions, I know, but worth considering if your goal is to become a happier, healthier, fully self-actualized person. Many of our life coaching and therapy clients begin their journey with us in a place of frustration. They’re here because they want something more for themselves and their lives, but can’t even get a handle on what “the problem” is that they need to address. They just know that they don’t feel good, and they don’t like the results they’re getting. They’re often asking themselves questions like these: (Can you relate?)

“Why can’t I follow through with the things I know I should do?”

“Why do these things keep happening to me?”

Why can’t I get over my Ex?

“Why can’t I be more organized and on top of things?”

“What am I doing that’ contributing to the issues in my relationship?”

“Why can’t I just be happy with myself and my life?”

“Why do I keep falling into these types of relationships?”

“Why do I get so stressed out?”

“Why do I react this way?”

“Why do people treat me this way?”

Why can’t I get ahead in my career?”

“Why am I always worried about something?”

The Core of Motivation: Frustration + Hope

We could go on and on with the questions. However, at the core of all of these questions is the essence of motivation: frustration + hope. People who ask these questions of themselves, and others, are trying to crack into understanding “the problem” because they hope that self-awareness will then allow them to overcome it. They’re saying, “I’m frustrated wth the results I’m getting, but I know I can be happier, do more, have more satisfying relationships, and get better results from myself and my life — just show me how.”

These “questioners” are so smart, insightful, and correct: Understanding why they do what they do — consciously or subconsciously — is often the very first step in breaking old patterns and launching new ones. If you don’t know what you’re doing that’s creating bad outcomes, how can you ever fix it?

That’s why the first step in the personal growth process is self-discovery. This involves figuring out who you are (the good, the bad, and the ugly) and then using that knowledge to build on your strengths — and even develop new strengths. When we know what we’re doing that’s getting in our own way, then we become empowered to cultivate the positive aspects of ourselves that can help us overcome our limitations, as well as try out the new skills and strategies that will get us better results in every area of life.

What Self Awareness Looks Like, In Action: An Easter Story

Let me give you a very simple (silly, even) example of what I’m talking about: At the time I’m writing this article, it’s shortly after Easter. Like many kind and loving Easter-celebrating parents, since Sunday I’ve been secretly eating my child’s Easter candy while he’s away at school and unable to defend his stash from my chocolate-smeared fingers.

Of course, this is a bad idea for a number of reasons: Aside from making me feel guilty, at my age and activity level I really don’t need to be eating an extra 500 junk-calories a day. I might as well just glue Almond M&M’s and Reece’s cups directly to my thighs, as that would create about the same effect on my body as eating them. Yet every time I walk through the kitchen, there’s that darn Easter basket… with the open bag of candy… uuuuhhhhh. Before I know it I have a mouth full of chocolate, and as I’m giving myself a stern talking to about why I shouldn’t be doing this, I still reach for another handful. What to do?

Know Thyself, and Prosper

One thing I’ve learned about myself over the years is that I have a terrible memory. Really. While I aspire to be a super-together person who gets things done, one of the things I need to work around in order to achieve this is my memory.

When I first realized I was different from other people in this way, I felt bad about it. Who wants to be the spacy, forgetful person, right? I would be endlessly frustrated with myself for forgetting appointments, losing things, getting side-tracked, being late to places. If I wasn’t looking at it, I’d forget it existed. I annoyed myself as much as I annoyed others.

I didn’t want this to be true about myself, so when I was younger I avoided the truth. I’d always have an excuse for being late or losing something. Alternatively, I’d just hate myself and beat myself up about being so forgetful. (As if that would help).

But the interesting thing is that as soon as I accepted that I don’t have a very good memory, and that this is just part of who I am — without judging myself for it — I was then empowered to do something constructive with my affliction instead. (This really does relate to Easter candy-stealing. We’ll get there.)

Self Acceptance = Empowerment

Many people believe that “self-acceptance” means settling for mediocrity in themselves. They believe that if they keep beating themselves up and hating themselves for their shortcomings it will somehow encourage them to improve. The opposite is true. Self-awareness and compassionate self-acceptance actually leads to humility, personal responsibility… and consequently, more useful options.

So, for example, when I let go of the delusion that I could rely on my memory to keep track of myself, I had to find new tools if I wanted to have a good life.

I now carry a planner / notebook with me everywhere (here’s my latest personal-organizational tool crush), and if something is said that I need to remember I immediately write it down. On the rare occasions I am notebook-less and something comes up I know I need to remember, I will send an email to myself with my phone.  If I need to take something with me somewhere, I will literally place it next to the door (immediately, while I’m thinking about it) so I’ll see it on my way out. If I need to remember that I need to be somewhere at a certain time, I must set a timer to remind me when it’s time to go. And if I put my keys anywhere else besides on the key hook on my kitchen wall, I might as well have mailed them General Delivery to Argentina. I’ll never see them again. I have about 87 more specific strategies that I use each and every day to keep myself on track, but I won’t bore you with all of them.

BUT, you know what? Because of my heavy reliance on all these compensatory strategies… I actually am a super-together person who gets things done. I’m also pleased to report that I’m no longer embarrassed by this “shortcoming” either. In fact, because of learning about myself, and embracing who and what I am, I’ve actually learned how to turn this quirk of mine into a strength.

Back to the Easter candy: So here we are, in my kitchen, as I’m trying really hard to stay away from my kid’s Easter candy. I run through my self-redirection strategies to see if any of them will work: “I could eat an apple.” “I could drink some water.” “I could imagine my thighs getting lumpy and gross.” Yeah, no. I still wanted the chocolate.

Then, remembering my forgetfulness superpower, I realized that If I put my kid’s Easter basket on top of the refrigerator where I can’t see it, I would forget it was even there. So I did that, and then left the room… and here it is like five hours later and I have not even thought about the candy once until I sat down to start writing this post for you. Super. Power.

I know this is a simple example about one small frustration. However, this is also really what self-awareness looks like in action. Like you, I have many things about me that are true (some strengths, and some liabilities), and I use this knowledge and assorted “hacks” every day to help me be my best self, and get better results in my work, my relationships, and life. I want the same for you.

How to Uncover Your True Self, and Use Your Self-Awareness to Grow

Here’s my point: YOU also have superpowers. You have things that are true about you that you either may not fully know about yet, or that you may know about but want to be different. There may be things that you do without understanding why you do them. You may have automatic reactions to certain situations, and not even know why.

You may feel one way about yourself, but seem totally different to others. (You’d be amazed at how many clients I have who feel so badly about themselves, and yet who are objectively lovely people in every way — beloved both by me and others in their lives.) You may be putting things out in your relationships that others react to, without even being aware of it.

Worst yet, you may judge yourself harshly for the quirks you have, rather than learning how to embrace them, work with them, and even use them to your advantage.

Knowing who you really are, and understanding yourself, is the key to personal development. When you compassionately understand and accept yourself for who you are, all of a sudden you have the chance to develop new strategies and use your strengths to help you balance out your weak spots, in order to help you get the results you want.

If you would like to have a better understanding of yourself so that you have the opportunity to learn and grow, here are some tools to help you get started on this journey of self-discovery:

Keep Asking Those Questions… But Answer Them Too.

We started this post together with a list of “Why” questions that many people ask about themselves. I’ll say to you what I invariably say to my counseling or life coaching clients sooner or later, when they’re trying to figure out the answers to these self-mysteries: “Well, why? What’s your best guess?”

And you know what? When given time, space and opportunity to reflect… they always have remarkable insight into themselves. YOU can do this too. If you have a “why” question about yourself, grab a journal and write down the answer.

If you don’t “know” the answer, write down the possible possibilities. I bet you’ll have at least a few nuggets of useful truth fall out of your head for your trouble.

Get Feedback From Others

There does come a point when self-reflection has limits.

For example, it’s really, really hard to identify something about yourself that legitimately lies outside of your awareness. It’s hard to know what we don’t know, you know? When it comes to deeper self-discovery, it’s essential to have feedback. Here are some possibilities:

Friends: Do you have any friends or family members who don’t just know you really well, but who are insightful and wise, and also brave enough to be straight with you? (In a compassionate, emotionally safe way?) If so, and if you’re ready for honest answers, it might be time to have a sit-down with them.

Challenge yourself to be vulnerable, and say, “You know, I’m not feeling good about this specific part of my life, and I wonder what you see that I might be doing here that are contributing to this situation?” If your friend is brave enough to say it (emotionally mature enough to make you feel safe and cared for while they do) and you’re open enough to receive it, these can be life-changing conversations.

[Caveat: This one only works with someone whose judgment you trust, who knows you well, and who cares about you. Don’t try this with just anyone!]

Counseling or Life Coaching: If you want to dig deeper, you might also establish a relationship with a good counselor or life coach who can help you see yourself more clearly. We are professional versions of the wise, caring, trustworthy and brave friends who will be straight with you, in an emotionally safe way.

A good counselor or coach will also have ways of helping you crack into your own truth, through knowing what questions to ask you, helping you make connections, and using their knowledge of psychology, development, systems and more to help you understand yourself.

An advantage of this approach is that a good counselor or life coach won’t just stop with the “Aha moment.” Self-awareness and insight is only useful if you have a follow-up, “Okay so now what do I do about this” conversation.

For example, my just knowing that my memory doesn’t work well is not particularly helpful to me. My strategies and workarounds are. You deserve the same type of action-oriented roadmap that will lead you forward, and enable you to take positive action to get better results.

Group Therapy: You’d be amazed at the speed and depth of information you can get about yourself from a good group therapy experience. There are different kinds of groups, and not all of them lead to the type of self-awareness we’re talking about here.

For example, support groups (the most common kind of group) are for people who are all having a similar experience and give them a chance to give and receive compassion and advice from each other. Some support groups are run by a therapist, and also offer an educational component as well as compassion and camaraderie.

Other groups are peer-led (meaning they don’t have a professional therapist mediating them) and are simply opportunities to share with caring others, who “get it.” [Side note: We do have an online breakup support group here at Growing Self, that is totally free. It’s a private peer-to-peer Facebook group — get in touch through Facebook to be added to the online breakup support group].

However, a process group is a type of group therapy that’s all about getting feedback, as well as support and encouragement from the group.

A good process group is led by a therapist who is able to ask you the kinds of questions that help you get clarity about yourself, and you’ll also be with other people who are talking about themselves in a similarly honest and authentic way. You’ll have the opportunity to share your feedback of others, for the purpose of their growth, and also receive honest, empowering feedback in an emotionally safe environment.

Especially if you are feeling frustrated by the results you’re getting in your relationships, a good group can be a marvelous way to shine a bright light on the blind spots that you may have. We do have a great process-oriented therapy group here at our practice in Denver. Click here to learn more about our Denver group therapy.

Assessments: Finally, an interesting, fun and often low-cost way to cultivate self-awareness is through assessments. These may take the form of online quizzes or tests. Or if you’re working with a professional therapist, they may have a variety of questionnaires and activities that you can do in order to “get under the hood,” and discover new things about yourself, your strengths, your growth opportunities, and your personality.

One assessment I really like is the VIA “Strengths and Virtues” Inventory. It was born from the strength-based Positive Psychology movement, which places emphasis on growth and change on what’s right about you, as opposed to what’s wrong. This assessment is free, and will show you what your top strengths are so that you can build on them.

Another assessment that might be useful for you is my “What’s Holding You Back” Quiz. This is a free tool that I have developed for you as part of my Happiness Class, and is available on this site. If you want to take it, start by watching the short video to learn about the domains it assesses, (towards the bottom of the page), and then you can take the quiz. Then come back to the video, and l’ll talk you through what your results mean about you.

I sincerely hope that the ideas I’ve shared today resonated with you, and gave you some direction for next steps on YOUR personal journey of growth and change. Do you have questions or comments about anything I’ve shared? Let me know in the comments below — I read them all!

 

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

 

 

 

Schedule Your Free Consultation Session

Meet in Person

Colorado • California • Texas

Meet Online

Across the US and Internationally

Embracing Growth: Getting Comfortable With Discomfort

Embracing Growth: Getting Comfortable With Discomfort

Want to Make a Change? You May Need to Get Uncomfortable.

As a life coach and therapist, I often talk to people who feel stuck in situations that are not ideal, especially in their careers or their relationships.

Why? Because even though they are not “in love” with their current circumstances, keeping things as-is feels safer and more comfortable than the idea of making a big change. Even though they know they can do more, or have more, they resist embracing their full potential because change can feel hard. Even scary.

Remember The Matrix? How our hero Nero / Keanu had to make a choice between staying in the comfort of the life he knew, or waking up to the uncomfortable truth of what was actually happening?

 

online-life-coach-transformation-comfortable-uncomfortable-how-to-change-your-life-redblue_pill.

 

Do you stay comfy? Or do you grow?

We’re all faced with that same choice. Do we stay in our comfort zone and pretend that the life we have is all that is possible? Or do we wake up to the anxiety-provoking truth that we can do more… but that it will probably require being less comfortable for a minute, while we create our new reality.

Sometimes simply recognizing that the life we are living is not in line with who we truly are can bring on a lot of uncomfortable feelings. Some of us feel better when we just keep doing what we are doing, in order to remain comfortable. It’s easy to lay around and not exercise. It’s easy to avoid tough, but necessary conversations with our partners. It’s easy to punch in and punch out at a mediocre, unfulfilling job that pays the bills.

It’s hard to push yourself to do more.

Herein lies the majority of the problem: we are ALL conditioned to be satisfied with “comfortable.” Many people feel so threatened by the possibility of discomfort that they create “reasons” (aka, “excuses”) for why change is not possible, or blame others for the condition of their lives. While feeling helpless is not a great feeling, believe it or not, being the victim can feel less threatening than the possibility that you actually are in control of your life… and that you do have the power to change it.

What I’ve learned as a life coach who specializes in helping people get motivated is that there’s tremendous opportunity in discomfort. The truth is, we do NOT often progress, grow, and/or accomplish great things by remaining comfortable. If the early American settlers wanted to stay comfortable, our country would have stopped in Pennsylvania. If Susan B. Anthony stayed comfortable in the early 1900’s, when would women have been able to vote? If Martin Luther King Jr would have stayed comfortable, we may all still be using different water fountains.

If you want to change your life, you must learn to be comfortable with being uncomfortable. How appealing does “being comfortable” sound if it’s synonymous with “mediocre and stagnant.” The truth is that feeling uncomfortable can push you towards great things. That is how we grow! We learn to make fire because we are uncomfortable with cold. Imagine what it would be like if we just learned to be comfortable with the cold. Burrr.

Embrace the feeling of knowing that you NEED to do something else with your life — don’t avoid it. If you are brave enough to entertain the idea that what you are doing might not be enough, then you are uncomfortable in your current situation. That is the starting point of growth. Don’t lie to yourself, or those around you, as a way of playing it safe. Be uncomfortable with your situation. Embrace it. And BE the change that you need to see in your life.

Zachary Gaiter M.A.

Why It’s The Right Time to Give Your Life a Makeover

Why It’s The Right Time to Give Your Life a Makeover

It’s Time to Grow.

Many people think that the most natural time to make big changes to their lives is around the New Year. Many people flock to life coaching in January to help them actualize their resolutions. But, as a life coach and therapist who’s been doing this for a long time, I’m going to let you in on a little-known secret: While the turn of the year is certainly a poetic time for transitions, there’s actually one that’s more powerful and effective if you really want to make change in your life.

And that time is now.

Why? Think about it: For all of your formative years, your life had a natural rhythm built around the school year. Summer was a time of self-discovery and expansion. You got to step out of the daily grind for a little while, have new experiences, focus on relationships, and generally relax.

Then as every new school year began, you had a new opportunity, and a new beginning. Your clothing and school supplies were freshened. Plans were made. Intentions were set. And you got clean slate on which to reinvent yourself, define your new identity, and create a different reality with each passing year.

And most years, you succeeded, didn’t you? You moved forward. You grew and changed. You were able to manifest a new incarnation of yourself. Every year was a chapter in the ever-evolving story of you.

This cycle was repeated over and over and over from the time you were a small child, until well into your twenties and beyond. Our work and vacation seasons still follow this natural order. If you’re a parent, you’re reliving something similar with your children now. This natural cycle of growth and regeneration is now pretty much hard-wired into your system — even if you’re not in school anymore.

However, many adults are no longer consciously aware of the ebb and flow of this seasonal growth-energy in their lives. They just move from season to season without thinking too much about it. Sadly, they miss the opportunity for reflection transformation that this time of year affords.

But today I’m here to help you learn how to through fully and intentionally harness the power of this special time, and take advantage of it. By deliberately tapping in to the psychological and emotional forces that become available to you during this unique time of year, you can make important and lasting change in your life.

On this episode of the Love, Happiness and Success Podcast I’ll be walking you through some new ideas and activities that will help you give your entire life a makeover. To start, you’ll learn how to begin the process of shedding the old, and embracing the new. We’ll cover how to de-clutter and re-organize your relationships, your habits, and the way you’re managing your time, your energy, and yourself.

You’ll learn how to take stock of different areas of your life to figure out what’s working for you, what’s worth building on, and what it’s time to release. I’ll give you some strategies to help you reflect and gain self-awareness around the thoughts, feelings and behaviors that need to be released.

Then we’ll talk about how to craft a plan for this chapter of your life, that includes setting the goals and making the daily changes that will help you create the life you want.

You deserve all the love, happiness and success in the world, and I sincerely hope that these ideas help you create it.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Why It's The Right Time to Give Your Life a Makeover

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Subscribe to the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast on iTunes & Stitcher. Please rate and review if you enjoy the Podcast!

Music Credits: Last Goodbye, by Split Single

The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast is Now on Stitcher!

What You Only Learn About Yourself During Relationship Fights.

What You Only Learn About Yourself During Relationship Fights.

Have you been arguing with your partner lately?

If so, here’s a new way of thinking about conflict that can help you improve your relationship… and grow as a person.

As a marriage counselor and relationship coach who’s worked with many arguing couples over the years, I know that most people absolutely hate conflict. That is understandable. Arguments can be uncomfortable, stressful, and even hurtful. If conflict in relationships is not handled well, it can also be very destructive. I get it — I prefer to avoid conflict in my own life too. If there’s an opportunity for reconciliation and compromise, that is always my first choice.

And yet, over the years, both personally and professionally, I have come to be grudgingly respectful of conflict and the unique growth opportunities conflict offers. We all have disagreements — with our partners, our friends and our family. Sometimes these can be resolved peacefully. Sometimes they can’t. As awful as it can be when open conflict erupts in a relationship, it can also be a powerful mirror reflecting back blind spots you might never otherwise see. (Unless you have a relationship with a great coach or counselor who’s strong enough to call you on your stuff — but that’s a luxury many people never get the chance to have).

“Productive conflict” as I like to think of it, has potential that civilized, polite interactions just don’t: It holds enormous transformational energy. (Not unlike a bomb.) Conflict certainly has the potential to destroy things and make a mess. And, productive conflict can also break things open. It can reconfigure the emotional landscape of a relationship in a positive and necessary way. It can even tear down something that needed to be destroyed in order to make space for something new.

Creation and destruction often go hand in hand. And whether or not a fight leads to transformation or tragedy in you life, it always creates a new opportunity for reflection and self awareness. I routinely teach people about how to manage conflict as productively as possible (through private marriage counseling, premarital counseling, my podcasts, and through our relationship classes). But I’m here today to teach you something new: How to use conflict as a tool for self awareness and personal growth.

Here are just a few things that you really only learn about yourself during an argument:

1. How you instinctively respond to fear and pain. Do you lash out, and seek to inflict damage with your words or actions? Or do you withdraw, retreating behind the facade of a dismissive, rejecting ice-queen? Or do you become patronizing and passively-aggressive in order to take your power back? No one is judging — it’s not easy for any of us behave well when we’re really upset. But observing yourself in conflict allows you to understand your patterns, and how you try to protect yourself when you are hurt or afraid. This self awareness can allow you to intentionally grind away some of your sharpest corners, and make different choices in the future.

2. What your unhealed wounds are. Why do we get into fights in the first place? Because someone we’re in a relationship with intentionally or (more often the case) unintentionally jabbed us in a raw, vulnerable spot that triggered our anxieties or insecurities. When are you most likely to go bananas? Is it when you feel rejected? Disrespected? Unloved? Disregarded? Whatever your trigger is, chances are that its fuse is connected to some of your earliest relational wounds. Observing your own reactivity gives you insight into your “unfinished business” with the past, and a really great opportunity to deal with your old baggage once and for all.

3. The unpleasant truth about yourself. I believe that most people are really kind. They care about you. They don’t want to hurt you. And they almost always turn a blind eye to your flaws in favor of maintaining a relationship with the best parts of you. But during a conflict (when the civilized, rational part of our brain goes offline) the brutally honest, and oftentimes unpleasant truth finally gets a voice. For example, over the course of my own twenty-plus year marriage, it’s only been when my husband is feeling extremely upset with me that I get direct feedback about how my actions are hurting him. Hard as that was to hear, it was also necessary because it allowed me to make changes that I wouldn’t have otherwise.

We all judge ourselves by our intentions. It can be hard to take in how we are experienced by others, particularly if their perceptions of us are in conflict with the more favorable, more comfortable way we like to think about ourselves. And yet, when we take feedback to heart, and see ourselves through the eyes of others, we have a growth opportunity. A chance to do better, be better, and grow into a more loving, responsive partners.

4. Our capacity for compassion, tolerance, humility, and love is revealed… and strengthened. In every “productive conflict,” or argument that ends well, there is a turning point. A moment of selflessness when at least one person can stop fighting for their voice to be heard, their perspective to be accepted, and their demands to be met…. and instead turn their attention to the pain, feelings, and needs of their partner.

In this moment of grace, when one partner feels empathy and compassion for the other, conflict ends. It’s replaced with what I believe is the purest form of love: Respect for the needs, rights and feelings of someone else, even if you don’t understand or agree with them.

In this empathetic selflessness, connection is re-established. Relationships are healed. And, best yet, YOU get to expand and evolve, growing in your capacity for compassion, tolerance, generosity and love.

Will your accepting all these hidden gifts of conflict make your relationship better? Certainly. Will doing the work I described above make you a more mature and loving partner? For sure.

But the real winner here isn’t your relationship, or even your partner. It’s you.

Every battle with your partner is a battle with yourself. A war between the parts of you that are vindictive, selfish, angry, and fearful…. and the parts of you that are self-aware, emotionally mature, unconditionally loving, generous and compassionate.

When you use the opportunity of conflict to strengthen the very the best parts of yourself, both you and your relationships will “win” every time.

I sincerely hope that these thoughts stay with you the next time you have a tense moment with someone you love.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Post Traumatic… Growth?

Post Traumatic… Growth?

The research is IN: What doesn’t kill you, actually will make you stronger.

Unfortunately, stories about the negative impact of trauma are the norm. We hear all about the terrible symptoms of Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD), like nightmares, intrusive thoughts, anxiety, and substance abuse problems. We hear scary statistics about suicide and impairment from returning veterans, or the consequences of childhood abuse in the news.

If that’s all you heard about, it would be easy to think that there is a bleak future for people who live through difficult things.

But that is not actually the case.

Post Traumatic Growth

In fact, what newer research is pointing to is a striking pattern of Post-Traumatic Growth in people who recover from trauma. While living through trauma is terrible, what also consistently happens is that the vast majority of those who recover identify their recovery work as resulting in overwhelmingly positive, meaningful, and powerful personal growth.

People on the other side of healing often describe feeling more grateful for small things, loving more deeply, and feeling that they have more depth and purpose in their lives. They feel that their relationships are more satisfying, and that they take more pleasure in life. Many also describe feeling that they are stronger, more compassionate, and more capable of love. Even more report having the belief that their lives transformed because of their trauma, creating beauty, strength, and meaning that they hadn’t had before.

That doesn’t sound terribly “broken,” does it? No. Research supports the fact that people’s lives don’t end because of tragedy. More often, they are actually reborn. People are resilient, and courageous, and inspiring — and the trajectory of their lives show it. They go on to write other chapters, have new experiences, and live and grow in ways that may not have been possible before.

Healing From Trauma

Let’s also not minimize how profoundly terrible trauma is. Before you’ve successfully recovered from a traumatic life experience, it can be debilitating. When you’re sitting in the painful aftermath of a horrific life experiencing, and coping with the awfulness of it, it feels impossible to consider even feeling okay, much less good.

It might even be hard to hear that there is a time “after” this, and that there may be more hope, purpose, self awareness, compassion, strength, and unconditional love than you can even imagine now. Especially if, right now, your work is to give yourself permission to not be okay and to feel the dark feelings that need to be felt. That can be an important part of the healing process too.

Once again, on The Love, Happiness and Success Podcast, we’ll be riding into the darkness together for the purpose of helping you find your way towards peace and healing. I want you to know that there is a path forward. You can move past the hurt, past the healing, and into growth. And I’m here to help.

We’ll start by talking about trauma: How it happens, what it does to you, and how it’s healed.

Taking Your Power Back

But wait, there’s more.

No one’s journey through recovering from trauma is the same. For some people healing happens through trauma-informed therapy. For others, self help or physical strategies ease the pain and open the door to healing. Yet others find peace through their work. For many, it’s a combination of all of the above.

To talk about what Post-Traumatic Growth looks like in action, I’ve invited an incredibly inspiring special guest to join me for today’s episode: stand up comedian Jo Kimbrell. Jo’s own personal transformation was born out of trauma, and her journey of healing took her through yoga teacher training, writing, dream work, body work… and open-mike night in cigar bars.

Listen to Jo’s story, hear her words of wisdom, and be inspired to bravely open the door to a new chapter for yourself, too.

Jo and I discuss many resources over the course of our conversation. Here are the links I promised to share with you:

Book: Dreams of Healing, by Kelly Bulkeley
Book: Trauma and Recovery, by Judith Herman
Assessment: The ACE Questionnaire
Laughter Fix! Jo Kimbrell’s Comedy Night @ Finkel + Garf Taphouse in Boulder, CO  Next show is Wednesday 6/21/17! If you can’t make that one, she and her comedy crew are there every third Wednesday of the month.

Hope all this helps you find your way forward, too.

xoxo, Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby

Post Traumatic... Growth?

by Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby | Love, Happiness & Success

Music Credits: Suddenly Everything Has Changed, by The Flaming Lips

Subscribe to the Love, Happiness & Success Podcast on iTunes & Stitcher. Please rate and review if you enjoy the Podcast!

The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast is Now on Stitcher!

Growing Self Counseling & Coaching