Who’s In Your Circle of Trust?
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Do you know who’s in your circle of trust? As an experienced therapist, life coach, and relationship expert, I know that defining a select group of safe, trustworthy people with whom you share your deepest thoughts and vulnerabilities can be incredibly useful, particularly if you’ve struggled with unhealthy relationship patterns. In this article, we’ll explore the value of intentional trust, how to recognize trustworthy people, and how to steer clear of toxic relationships and keep your circle healthy.
What is the Circle of Trust?
The Circle of Trust is a metaphorical space reserved for the people who have demonstrated that they’re worthy of your most sensitive thoughts and feelings. With the people in this circle, you can be vulnerable while feeling secure that they are not going to reject you, judge you, or use your vulnerabilities against you.
Having a strong circle of trust is so important for your emotional wellbeing and even your safety. When you have good friends and family members who have earned your trust, you have a secure home base that adds richness and provides a support network to help you through tough times.
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Why Be Intentional About Who You Trust?
Being deliberate about who enters your Circle of Trust is crucial. When you allow people into your circle of trust who haven’t earned their place there, some bad things can happen, including toxic relationships that are draining or even dangerous. Having a defined circle of trust encourages healthy boundaries and helps you pour your time and energy into positive relationships, rather than unhealthy ones.
So, who belongs in your circle of trust? Here are the traits that make someone trustworthy:
1. Reliability
Does this person consistently treat you well? Do they do what they say they’re going to do, or do they fail to follow through on promises? Trustworthy friends and family can be counted on during the best and the worst times in life.
2. Emotional Safety
Do you feel safe being authentic about your thoughts and feelings? Or do you feel criticized, judged, or threatened by this person? Those within your circle of trust should be emotionally safe, which means you should have a relationship where you can be yourself and share your feelings without fear.
3. Authenticity
Trust is built on authenticity. Genuine individuals reveal their true selves, fostering deeper connection by being honest, transparent, and vulnerable in close relationships. This includes being willing to have constructive conflict when necessary. When someone habitually avoids conflict, that can actually damage trust, because they may end up harboring resentments or acting out in passive aggressive ways.
4. Respect
Respect is essential for trust. Only people who respect your boundaries, opinions, and feelings belong within your innermost circle of trust.
Support for Trusting, Healthy Relationships
Therapy can help you navigate the complexities of trust in relationships, identify toxic patterns, and establish healthy boundaries. A therapist can guide you through the process of choosing relationships with people who belong in your circle of trust, and avoid unhealthy relationships that are detrimental to your wellbeing.
If you would like to do this valuable work with a relationship expert on my team, I invite you to schedule a free consultation.
Sincerely,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
P.S. — For more advice on creating healthy relationships, check out my “Empowered Connections” collection of articles and podcasts.
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