12 Effective Ways to Destroy Your Relationship
The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
WHAT WILL DESTROY YOUR RELATIONSHIP, AND FAST
Are you unknowingly making the biggest relationship mistakes? Are you on the way to destroy your relationship? As a couples counselor and Denver marriage counselor, I often speak, write and podcast about all the positive, effective ways that you can improve your relationship. I talk about communication skills, developing empathy, how to work together as a team, how to appreciate each other, ways to get on the same page with regard to parenting and all the things that couples can do to create a strong, satisfying relationship and a lifetime of love.
Avoid The Biggest Relationship Mistakes!
So, today… I’m mixing it up. I decided to put together a very straightforward list of what NOT to do if you want to have a great relationship. In fact, I decided to discuss the twelve biggest relationship mistakes that will destroy your relationship in hopes of helping you avoid the biggest relationship pitfalls.
[One of the biggest pitfalls? Unrealistic Expectations. Here’s more: How to Avoid Unrealistic Expectations]
While this is a tongue-in-cheek bit of satire (mostly), I’m also shining a light on the relationship-ruining behaviors that we can all engage in (we all do them sometimes, myself included). However, self-awareness and personal responsibility are some of the most important relationship skills that any of us have at our disposal, and I do hope that this exploration helps you (and possibly your partner) gain understanding about the things you might be doing to destroy your relationship inadvertently.
[Like: How to Stop Being Codependent]
Positive, Direct Relationship Coaching (How NOT to Destroy Your Relationship)
While I did outline some of the biggest relationship mistakes you can make…. my natural inclination to positivity prevailed. I went back through the list of relationship-damaging behaviors and discussed their positive relationship corollaries.
I hope that this very honest discussion helps you create the strong, happy relationship you want and deserve.
All the best,
PS: Have you taken my “How Healthy is Your Relationship” Quiz yet? I mentioned it on the podcast as a resource to help you take a snapshot of how your relationship is currently doing in all the areas I described. Take the relationship quiz here.
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12 Effective Ways to Destroy Your Relationship
The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast with Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
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Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is the founder and clinical director of Growing Self. She is a licensed psychologist, a licensed marriage and family therapist, and a board-certified coach, as well as the author of “Exaholics: Breaking Your Addiction to Your Ex Love,” and the host of The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast.
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Wow! This had to be so confusing to write and speak, my head is spinning! I see a lot of these behaviors in my marriage coming from both sides. My husband has no interest in personal growth, marriage growth, growth at all, and treats the whole world as if it inconveniences him. I am ready to divorce and he thinks there are no problems with our relationship-despite me telling him-he will forget I ever brought up any issues a day later and goes on as he pleases acting like nothing is wrong. I feel like I live with a 13 year old and he has it made! I think I caused a lot of issues in the beginning and set up a relationship where I am not respected, there are no boundaries, there is no space for me to have wants and feelings and now I have grown in many ways and in confidence and I am asking for my needs to be met and he wants nothing of it, I didn’t have feelings for 6 years-why should I now? This was an eye opener, I feel like my husband listened to this years ago and is following it to a “t”. I’ve been listening to your podcasts for about 2 months now and they have provided a lot of clarity to my feelings. I have signed up for a free consultation, waiting for my appointment to hopefully figure some things out about life and our relationship.
Hey Chelsea! I’m so glad that you liked this podcast. It did actually push me out of my comfort zone to speak about relationship mistakes in such a direct way, but it sounds like it provided you with clarity about what has been happening in your situation and I’m so glad for that. I can completely understand, given the circumstances you describe, how you’d be feeling like divorce is the only option. I wonder if you might get him to listen to this episode with you? (The part where people who have been minimizing their partner’s feelings and requests for years and years and then feel totally blindsided by a divorce may be particularly beneficial for him).
But I’m SO so glad that you are connecting with someone on our team who can help you to a much greater degree than I’m able to through a podcast. I sincerely hope that your personal growth work with us provides you with clarity and confidence. I will also secretly hope that it turns into couples counseling with you and your husband, and that it allows you to finally get through to him and start working together to make positive changes in your marriage.
But either way, my sense is that YOU are going to grow enormously — no matter what happens with your marriage.
All the best Chelsea,
Lisa
Rejecting your partner and withholding intimacyand sex can be another way to destroy a relationship.
Wow! This had to be so confusing to write and speak, my head is spinning! I see a lot of these behaviors in my marriage coming from both sides. My husband has no interest in personal growth, marriage growth, growth at all, and treats the whole world as if it inconveniences him. I am ready to divorce and he thinks there are no problems with our relationship-despite me telling him-he will forget I ever brought up any issues a day later and goes on as he pleases acting like nothing is wrong. I feel like I live with a 13 year old and he has it made! I think I caused a lot of issues in the beginning and set up a relationship where I am not respected, there are no boundaries, there is no space for me to have wants and feelings and now I have grown in many ways and in confidence and I am asking for my needs to be met and he wants nothing of it, I didn’t have feelings for 6 years-why should I now? This was an eye opener, I feel like my husband listened to this years ago and is following it to a “t”. I’ve been listening to your podcasts for about 2 months now and they have provided a lot of clarity to my feelings. I have signed up for a free consultation, waiting for my appointment to hopefully figure some things out about life and our relationship.
Hey Chelsea! I’m so glad that you liked this podcast. It did actually push me out of my comfort zone to speak about relationship mistakes in such a direct way, but it sounds like it provided you with clarity about what has been happening in your situation and I’m so glad for that. I can completely understand, given the circumstances you describe, how you’d be feeling like divorce is the only option. I wonder if you might get him to listen to this episode with you? (The part where people who have been minimizing their partner’s feelings and requests for years and years and then feel totally blindsided by a divorce may be particularly beneficial for him).
But I’m SO so glad that you are connecting with someone on our team who can help you to a much greater degree than I’m able to through a podcast. I sincerely hope that your personal growth work with us provides you with clarity and confidence. I will also secretly hope that it turns into couples counseling with you and your husband, and that it allows you to finally get through to him and start working together to make positive changes in your marriage.
But either way, my sense is that YOU are going to grow enormously — no matter what happens with your marriage.
All the best Chelsea,
Lisa
Rejecting your partner and withholding intimacyand sex can be another way to destroy a relationship.