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The Love, Happiness & Success Podcast
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How Can You Improve a Relationship? The Seven Most Surprising Ways
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
Welcome, lovebirds! If you’re on a quest to have a better relationship I’m thrilled you’re here because on this edition of Love, Happiness, and Success I did a deep dive into the seven most surprising and counterintuitive ways to improve your relationship. These tips are not your usual advice—no, my friend, we’re taking a fresh perspective on this, that incorporates new ideas (backed by science!) to give your lovelife a lift. So, buckle up and get ready to transform your relationship!
1. Give Each Other Space
It sounds strange, right? But giving each other more space and spending time apart can do wonders for your relationship. When you nurture yourselves as individuals with separate interests, friends, and hobbies, you bring more energy and excitement back into your partnership. It’s like hitting the refresh button on your relationship. Studies have shown that personal growth and independence can enhance relationship satisfaction and reduce conflicts. So, go ahead, encourage your partner to explore their passions while you do the same. You’ll find that the time you spend together becomes even more precious and enjoyable.
2. Embrace Healthy Anxiety
Believe it or not, a little anxiety can be a good thing! Doing novel and slightly nerve-wracking activities together can reignite the spark in your relationship. Whether it’s traveling to a new place, trying a new hobby, or even skydiving, these shared experiences can increase your dopamine levels and make you feel more attracted to each other. According to research, people who experience mild anxiety together often report higher levels of attraction and excitement. So, step out of your comfort zone and see how it brings you closer together.
3. Do the Boring Stuff Together
Yes, you heard me right. Doing mundane tasks like cleaning, cooking, or grocery shopping together can strengthen your bond. These activities show your partner that you’re committed to the partnership and willing to share the load. It’s a tangible way of saying, “We’re in this together.” Research indicates that couples who share household responsibilities tend to have better relationships and even more satisfying sex lives. So, next time you’re folding laundry or paying bills, do it together and watch how it builds your connection.
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4. Focus on Self-Improvement
Improving your relationship starts with improving yourself. Reflect on your actions, communication, and emotional management. Ask yourself, “Am I being loving and lovable? What can I do to make my partner feel more appreciated?” Self-awareness and personal growth are key to a healthy relationship. When you work on yourself, you create a positive ripple effect in your relationship. Seek out a great coach or therapist to help you on this journey. Remember, the better you become, the better your relationship will be.
5. Prioritize Sexual Intimacy
Sex is more than just a physical act; it’s a powerful bonding experience that transcends words. Regular sexual intimacy can improve communication, increase tolerance, and foster kindness in your relationship. It releases hormones that create a sense of closeness and attachment. If you and your partner have different levels of sexual desire, work together to find a balance. The person with the higher drive can take the lead in initiating intimacy, while the other partner can be open to getting in the mood. Embrace your sexuality and watch how it transforms your relationship.
6. Share Your Dreams and Goals
Having shared hopes and dreams can strengthen your relationship. Talk about your future plans, whether it’s a vacation, retirement, or your life’s purpose. Discussing your values and aspirations helps you reconnect with your partner on a deeper level. It creates a sense of unity and direction. When you work towards common goals, you reinforce your bond and build a strong foundation for your relationship.
7. Practice Empathy and Activism
Empathy is the cornerstone of a healthy relationship. Make it a habit to understand your partner’s feelings and perspectives without judgment. Ask open-ended questions and truly listen to their responses. Being curious and empathetic can reignite the love and respect in your relationship. Additionally, be an activist for your relationship. Believe in its potential for growth and fight for positive change. This might mean seeking relationship coaching, communication training, or simply having open and honest conversations about what you both need. (If you’re considering engaging the services of a marriage counselor or relationship coach be sure to check out “How to find a good marriage counselor” for more info on what to look for.)
Next Steps + FREE Resources
And now, let’s talk about how to make these transformative changes in your relationship. The growth process is not a straight line; it requires energy, effort, and a commitment to continuous improvement. That’s why I’m excited to offer you some fantastic free resources to help you on this journey.
Free Communication Skills Training
First, head over to GrowingSelf.com/communication/ and take advantage of my completely free two-part communication skills training. In these 60-minute sessions, I’ll teach you the essentials of healthy communication, helping you avoid the common pitfalls that can derail your interactions. You’ll also receive a 30-page workbook packed with exercises and activities to help you dive deep into understanding yourself and your partner better. This training can radically improve your relationship, so don’t miss out. Get started today at growingself.com/communication/.
Have a Question? Join Me Live!
Additionally, if you’re catching this episode the week it’s released, join me this Thursday at 12 p.m. Mountain, 2 p.m. Eastern for a live stream where we’ll be discussing how to improve relationships and answering your questions. Submit your questions in advance at growingself.com/dear-lisa, and I’ll share insights and tips tailored to your situation. Even if you can’t join live, you’ll receive a recap video with my responses.
Get Started With Life Trajectory Changing Relationship Coaching
And of course, if you’re looking for more personalized support, consider booking a free consultation with one of the highly effective relationship experts on my team. At Growing Self, we have a fantastic group of licensed marriage and family therapists and relationship coaches ready to help you navigate your unique challenges and achieve the love, happiness, and success you deserve. Visit growingself.com/schedule-free-consultation to schedule your consultation.
Thank you so much for spending this time with me today. I hope these resources help you find clear direction and actionable steps to improve your relationship. Let me know which strategy you decided to try first and how it went. You can share your experiences in the comments, or join me on social media for more conversations about love and growth. Here’s to creating the thriving relationship you’ve always wanted!
With love,
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby
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