How to Rekindle Romance In Your Marriage
How to Rekindle Romance in Your Marriage
Are you looking for to rekindle romance in your marriage or long-term relationship? As a couples counselor, I know that too many married couples suffer from “relational entropy.” They don’t put time and energy into their relationship, take each other for granted, and start to feel “meh” about their marriage as a result.
This sense of disconnection and apathy can be subtle, and go almost unnoticed in the frenetic day-to-day rush of kids-house-work run around that so many American families experience. However, this feeling matters, and sometimes — especially on special occasions like a holiday, birthday, or anniversary — the reality of a poorly tended marriage is often experienced more sharply.
Valentine’s Day can be a fun, romantic day, but what I know from a decade of experience as a marriage counselor and online couples counselor is that it can also leave people feeling exquisitely lonely — especially, believe it or not, if they are in long-term relationships.
Valentine’s Day: Rekindle Romance in Your Marriage?
We’ve all heard the arguments that Valentine’s Day is a manufactured holiday, designed to manipulate people into spending their money. What I have found to be more true is that people love to love. They love to celebrate their love. They love to feel cherished and appreciated – and they really want to feel loved, celebrated, cherished, and appreciated on Valentine’s Day by the person who means more to them than anyone else in the world.
Valentine’s Day feels like a great opportunity to reconnect and restore your love. Particularly when relationships have been feeling challenging or disconnected, many people hope that Valentine’s Day can be a day for recognition, reconnection, and reunion. They hope that the love that launched their life together can be breathed back into a cozy fire with a little effort and specialness. (And all relationships can benefit from some intentional attention).
And when it fails to do so, it can leave people feeling even lonelier and sadder than before.
Instead of feeling like the day was a beautiful recognition of their love for each other:
- They don’t feel loved and cherished.
- They don’t feel valued and respected.
- They don’t feel known or understood.
- They are frustrated by radically different ideas of what would be fun / meaningful to do on special occasions or holidays.
- They try to have a good time, but old friction points, conflicts, and resentments bubble up to spoil it.
Ick.
It’s hard to live through this and have Valentine’s Day feeling like such a letdown, but here is the good news: being dissatisfied with the way things are is the definition of motivation.
All couples have ups and downs.
The strongest, happiest, and healthiest couples are the ones that have worked through their stuff and become stronger in the process.
Being more aware of your feelings is the first step toward making positive changes in your life, and in your relationship.
Are YOU feeling ready to make changes? Do you want to feel connected, and in love again? Help is here! On this edition of the Love, Happiness and Success podcast, I’m sharing my top 10 tips to help you rekindle the romance in your relationship.
P.S. For more on rekindling the romance in your relationship, read: How to Fall Back in Love with Your Spouse for a simple way to begin to ignite your flame again.
Listen & Subscribe to the Podcast
How to Rekindle Romance In Your Marriage
Free, Expert Advice — For You.
Subscribe To The Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast
Dr. Lisa Marie Bobby is a licensed psychologist, licensed marriage and family therapist, board-certified coach, AAMFT clinical supervisor, host of the Love, Happiness, and Success Podcast and founder of Growing Self.
Marriage Counseling Questions | Couples Therapy Questions
If you’re considering getting involved in marriage counseling, couples therapy, or relationship coaching you probably have questions! Get your marriage counseling questions answered, right here.
Relationship Advice
Our relationship experts have tons of free, helpful relationship advice on numerous topics to support you both on your journey of growth together. View our relationship advice.
How Healthy Is Your Relationship?
Take our free relationship quiz to discover your strengths and growth opportunities, and get expert recommendations.
When To Get Marriage Counseling?
Was that just a yucky fight? Or is your relationship really in trouble? Here’s how to tell when to get marriage counseling.
What To Expect From Marriage Counseling
Learn what to expect from marriage counseling, from your first free consultation to the triumphant “graduation” from couples therapy.
Relationship Coaching vs. Couples Therapy
What’s the difference between relationship coaching vs couples therapy? Learn about both approaches, and which is right for you.
How to Find a Marriage Counselor
Not all marriage counselors are the same. Getting involved with a bad one can be a disaster. Here’s how to find a good marriage counselor…
Pre Marriage Counseling
Couples counseling before marriage is not the same thing as premarital counseling. Many couples need to grow together before they can move forward.
How Long Does Marriage Counseling Take?
You shouldn’t be in marriage counseling for years. Learn the average length of marriage counseling, depending on your situation, and your relationship goals.
How Marriage Counseling Works
Marriage counseling works, but how? Learn how marriage counseling works, and how the process can help you grow, together.
Does Couples Therapy Work?
Couples who successfully work through rough patches come out stronger than ever before. If you’re wondering, “Does couples therapy work?” read this article for the inside scoop.
Can We Do Marriage Counseling Online?
Online marriage counseling can be incredibly convenient and effective — but not always. Learn when online marriage counseling is the best bet, and when it’s a bad idea…
Can You Do Long-Distance Couples Therapy?
Yes, we provide long-distance couples counseling from all over the world through secure, easy, three-way online video.
Does Insurance Cover Marriage Counseling?
Insurance can pay for marriage counseling (aka, family therapy), but only sometimes. Learn when insurance covers marriage counseling, and when it won’t.
How Much is Marriage Counseling?
Getting expert help for your marriage can be the best, most life-changing decision you ever make. How much do couples therapy and marriage counseling cost? Get all the details, here.
Gift Relationship Help
If you have a loved one who is struggling in their relationship, you can help them get help by “gifting” couples counseling or coaching. Here’s how…
Discernment Counseling For Couples
Before marriage counseling can work, both partners need to want it to work. Discernment counseling helps you resolve ambivalence, and get clarity.
Why Evidence-Based Therapy Matters
Marriage counseling can be a huge waste of time if your counselor doesn’t practice evidence-based approaches to marriage counseling. Here’s why…
Online Couples Therapy
We offer Denver couples therapy and Denver marriage counseling as well as online couples therapy. Learn about our online couples therapy services.
Our Relationship Services
We offer premarital counseling, sex therapy, perinatal counseling, parent coaching, affair recovery, blended family counseling, financial therapy for couples, and more. Learn about all our couples counseling services.
Meet our Relationship Experts
Growing Self relationship experts are marriage and family therapists with specialized training and experience in effective, evidence-based approaches to help couples grow, together. Meet our team of relationship experts…
The Best Marriage Counseling
Curious to hear what others have to say about their experience with “the best marriage counselor?” Read their stories…
Free Resources, For You.
Our experts are incredibly generous and have put together an entire library of free resources and actionable advice to support you on your quest for Love, Happiness, and Success. View our blog + podcast.
More Questions? Let’s Talk.
We’re available by phone, email, and chat, and happy to answer any of your questions personally. Get in touch, anytime.
Start Couples Counseling or Coaching
Ready to begin marriage counseling, couples therapy, or relationship coaching with Growing Self? Start by scheduling a free consultation meeting with the expert of your choice.